Post by eljefe on May 31, 2014 20:17:08 GMT -5
WARNING: This RP is pretty much just whatever came to mind and it's written like it would be spoken, and it's also pretty ridiculous. Prepare yourself for that.
GOOD EVENING, WFWF! I am Jakob Hale. I am the new kid around here. Just kinda called up now when my trainer told me that there was an opening and I was getting pushed into it. I was like “Sure, whateves.” Then my first match comes, and I completely forgot about it! To be honest, I didn’t really think it was a big deal…I never really cared about pro wrestling, all I knew was that I could be me…and I was damn good at it. Then, I saw the show, and all those people. Damn. Didn’t see that one coming. So, here I am. Instead of blowing off this again and getting fired, I’m just gonna win. You know, like I will. I suppose I should tell ya’ll a bit about me first. Especially since that was aired on the TV and stuff, there’s probably a lot of you who have never really heard who I am. That’s cool, bro, but it’ll be unacceptable in like…a month, when I’m being a total boss around this business!
I am Jakob Artyom Hale. Okay, Hale isn’t my real last name, it’s actually Krestovozdvizhensky, which is like all long and complicated, so I was like, “Hale, yeah, sounds good.” Anyway, I was born in Chambana, IL, the Land Hidden in the Corn! (Seriously, go there, you will not argue with me) I grew up there because my parents were professors. One was Bio, the other was Electrical Engineering. I dunno what either of those really are, just kinda what they mean. But, yeah, then one of their students (some Asian dude, I think) was on this wrestling thing, and I remembered him from his being friends with my parents. But I had moved up to Chicago at the time, and I was like, cool, I’m gonna try this stuff, smart people do it! And so I found out that there was this place that was down the street from my apartment that was using a warehouse. I guess someone super important was there, because there was a big line when I went, and there was always this guy that they crowded around, but I could never really see him. So, I just think he was a big shot that all the real wrestling fans knew.
That’s just my history, though. Then there is the real Jakob Hale. The me that sorta is the real deal. I’m literally insane. At least, that’s what this girl once told me…I’ll tell you about that later. Anyway, I watched, okay, watch, a LOT of TV. All the stuff that I watched as a kid kinda messed with my head a bit, and made me get this thing where I imagine myself having super powers. Sorta like Walter Mitty. While I fully recognize this in my currently heightened sense of awareness, I’m not always in a heightened sense of awareness. Hell, when I’m in the ring, I’m almost assuredly not. Must be the adrenaline. Ah, well. So, my psych diagnosed me which something that he hasn’t come up with a really long, super sciency name for yet. He calls it “Detachment”, in the sense that I detach myself from reality. It’s kind of a pain in the neck, but it’s also pretty cool. Because I don’t really care about real things, I tend not to be very afraid either, which means I can actually beat up people who are bigger than I am. Also, I can totally, like, tap into my inner Space Jam and believe I can fly. That helps in this whole wrestling thing-a-ma-jig.
So, I was doing a bit of reading, and I found out that they put me against another dude who’s a little crazy. Sooooo, I think I thought that this was for smart people, but it’s actually like live action Looney Toons? Whatever, there were a lot of 0s in that paycheck and a lot of fans in those seats. Good nuff for me. This dude’s name is weird though…Tugairin Zmey? That looks like an anagram and now I’m trying to figure it out. F**k you! Tried to do some research and stuff and I couldn’t find his bio…but they told me I had to do one and it was like, posted ASAP. Isn’t that like, illegal or something? But I did find something that I thought was worrying. He’s 7’1! That means he has gigantism, and that he’s not going to live very long, which makes me sad for him…Also he’s 415 lbs, which makes your BMI 40. Dude, that’s a lot…like, seriously obese. I’m scared for you, man! I don’t want you to have a heart attack because you had a cheeseburger at McDonalds! I mean, that would suck getting killed by McDonalds. Don’t get killed by McDonalds…please? I mean, it would be better if you were like Big Man from Spider-Man. You know, how…oh, right, spoilers…how that dude was actually not super huge and just a short dude at the Daily Bugle with a voice modifier? Yeah, that one. That would be awesome…or maybe you’re actually huge and like Kenpachi from Bleach…which would make that short dude Yachiru…huh. That made me shudder a tad. Okay, maybe you’re like Lord Genome from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann? Hehe, if you are, then I’ll HAVE to beat you, because I WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS OF THIS COMPANY!
…Uhh, sorry…got a bit carried away there. So, yeah, I’m Jakob Hale, and…yeah. Enjoy
OOC: I had a lot of fun writing this.
GOOD EVENING, WFWF! I am Jakob Hale. I am the new kid around here. Just kinda called up now when my trainer told me that there was an opening and I was getting pushed into it. I was like “Sure, whateves.” Then my first match comes, and I completely forgot about it! To be honest, I didn’t really think it was a big deal…I never really cared about pro wrestling, all I knew was that I could be me…and I was damn good at it. Then, I saw the show, and all those people. Damn. Didn’t see that one coming. So, here I am. Instead of blowing off this again and getting fired, I’m just gonna win. You know, like I will. I suppose I should tell ya’ll a bit about me first. Especially since that was aired on the TV and stuff, there’s probably a lot of you who have never really heard who I am. That’s cool, bro, but it’ll be unacceptable in like…a month, when I’m being a total boss around this business!
I am Jakob Artyom Hale. Okay, Hale isn’t my real last name, it’s actually Krestovozdvizhensky, which is like all long and complicated, so I was like, “Hale, yeah, sounds good.” Anyway, I was born in Chambana, IL, the Land Hidden in the Corn! (Seriously, go there, you will not argue with me) I grew up there because my parents were professors. One was Bio, the other was Electrical Engineering. I dunno what either of those really are, just kinda what they mean. But, yeah, then one of their students (some Asian dude, I think) was on this wrestling thing, and I remembered him from his being friends with my parents. But I had moved up to Chicago at the time, and I was like, cool, I’m gonna try this stuff, smart people do it! And so I found out that there was this place that was down the street from my apartment that was using a warehouse. I guess someone super important was there, because there was a big line when I went, and there was always this guy that they crowded around, but I could never really see him. So, I just think he was a big shot that all the real wrestling fans knew.
That’s just my history, though. Then there is the real Jakob Hale. The me that sorta is the real deal. I’m literally insane. At least, that’s what this girl once told me…I’ll tell you about that later. Anyway, I watched, okay, watch, a LOT of TV. All the stuff that I watched as a kid kinda messed with my head a bit, and made me get this thing where I imagine myself having super powers. Sorta like Walter Mitty. While I fully recognize this in my currently heightened sense of awareness, I’m not always in a heightened sense of awareness. Hell, when I’m in the ring, I’m almost assuredly not. Must be the adrenaline. Ah, well. So, my psych diagnosed me which something that he hasn’t come up with a really long, super sciency name for yet. He calls it “Detachment”, in the sense that I detach myself from reality. It’s kind of a pain in the neck, but it’s also pretty cool. Because I don’t really care about real things, I tend not to be very afraid either, which means I can actually beat up people who are bigger than I am. Also, I can totally, like, tap into my inner Space Jam and believe I can fly. That helps in this whole wrestling thing-a-ma-jig.
So, I was doing a bit of reading, and I found out that they put me against another dude who’s a little crazy. Sooooo, I think I thought that this was for smart people, but it’s actually like live action Looney Toons? Whatever, there were a lot of 0s in that paycheck and a lot of fans in those seats. Good nuff for me. This dude’s name is weird though…Tugairin Zmey? That looks like an anagram and now I’m trying to figure it out. F**k you! Tried to do some research and stuff and I couldn’t find his bio…but they told me I had to do one and it was like, posted ASAP. Isn’t that like, illegal or something? But I did find something that I thought was worrying. He’s 7’1! That means he has gigantism, and that he’s not going to live very long, which makes me sad for him…Also he’s 415 lbs, which makes your BMI 40. Dude, that’s a lot…like, seriously obese. I’m scared for you, man! I don’t want you to have a heart attack because you had a cheeseburger at McDonalds! I mean, that would suck getting killed by McDonalds. Don’t get killed by McDonalds…please? I mean, it would be better if you were like Big Man from Spider-Man. You know, how…oh, right, spoilers…how that dude was actually not super huge and just a short dude at the Daily Bugle with a voice modifier? Yeah, that one. That would be awesome…or maybe you’re actually huge and like Kenpachi from Bleach…which would make that short dude Yachiru…huh. That made me shudder a tad. Okay, maybe you’re like Lord Genome from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann? Hehe, if you are, then I’ll HAVE to beat you, because I WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS OF THIS COMPANY!
…Uhh, sorry…got a bit carried away there. So, yeah, I’m Jakob Hale, and…yeah. Enjoy
OOC: I had a lot of fun writing this.
I dont know good luck 
