Post by Nick the Quick on Aug 11, 2014 18:35:27 GMT -5
Ok, so I've been witness to a situation the last few months. It doesn't directly involve me, but some friends, so I've been thinking about it a great deal. I will not mention them by name, but talk about how they are in relation to the situation. It's about custody, here's what's going on.
The mother of a four year old girl
Her current boyfriend
The father
The daughter
The godmother of the four year old
The mother and her current boyfriend have been together for three years and moved in together last year. Her four year old daughter lives with them most of the time, the current boyfriend is not the father. The mother was in a relationship with the father and they had the daughter during that time. The mother's current boyfriend loves the daughter like she's his own. I don't know the father or how he bonds with the daughter, him and the mother broke up before I met either of them. The godmother was there for the birth of the daughter and was good friends with both the mother and father for years. I've been under the impression that the mother and father had a bad break-up and their is some bad blood between them. I can't assume because I didn't know them then, but I'll talk about what I've heard.
The mother told her current boyfriend that the father used to abuse her and told her to get an abortion when she was pregnant. Naturally this upset him, so much to the point he said he would do whatever it takes to make sure the father never sees the daughter again. After hearing this, I asked the godmother if any of this information was true. She told me that the mother is lying about all of that and that both her and the father planned on having their daughter. The godmother doesn't want the mother and her current boyfriend to use the daughter to hurt the father, or have or have the daughter to grow up hating or not knowing her father. The godmother didn't have much of a relationship with her father, because of her mother, and he passed away before she got the chance to know him. Naturally she doesn't want her goddaughter to go through the same thing. This has more or less severed the friendship both the mother and her current boyfriend had with the godmother. The godmother randomly send the boyfriend this message one day, "I don't want you to get mad at me, but it's messed up that the father never gets to see the daughter, it's been months and that's not fair." His response was, "I could never be mad at you, but the father is a piece of crap and I don't want you mentioning his name to me ever again." The boyfriend later deleted the godmother off Facebook and she took it personally, I don't think they have spoken to each other since.
I found out a couple days ago from the mother that the father has sent her custody papers. I'm thinking this is about to turn into a custody battle. I've heard that the father has a criminal record with a couple DUI's and has been to rehab three times in the last six months, the godmother has denied the rehab part of that claim. The mother and her boyfriend, while I'm friend with them, aren't saints, but they don't have criminal records either. I have seen how they bond with the daughter, they love that girl more than anything. I have also been told that they want to change the daughter's last name from the father's and give her the boyfriend's last name. I have never heard of anyone doing something like that before and don't know what to think about it. I don't see any way this gets settled without someone getting hurt. I care about my friends and don't want to see them fighting with each other. Morally, I feel it's wrong to prevent anybody from seeing their child, the only exceptions being abusing of the child or drug use around the child.
I don't have any children and have never been in this situation, but feel for all those involved. I hope everything works out in a way to please everyone, but that doesn't look likely at this point. Thoughts from anyone here?
The mother of a four year old girl
Her current boyfriend
The father
The daughter
The godmother of the four year old
The mother and her current boyfriend have been together for three years and moved in together last year. Her four year old daughter lives with them most of the time, the current boyfriend is not the father. The mother was in a relationship with the father and they had the daughter during that time. The mother's current boyfriend loves the daughter like she's his own. I don't know the father or how he bonds with the daughter, him and the mother broke up before I met either of them. The godmother was there for the birth of the daughter and was good friends with both the mother and father for years. I've been under the impression that the mother and father had a bad break-up and their is some bad blood between them. I can't assume because I didn't know them then, but I'll talk about what I've heard.
The mother told her current boyfriend that the father used to abuse her and told her to get an abortion when she was pregnant. Naturally this upset him, so much to the point he said he would do whatever it takes to make sure the father never sees the daughter again. After hearing this, I asked the godmother if any of this information was true. She told me that the mother is lying about all of that and that both her and the father planned on having their daughter. The godmother doesn't want the mother and her current boyfriend to use the daughter to hurt the father, or have or have the daughter to grow up hating or not knowing her father. The godmother didn't have much of a relationship with her father, because of her mother, and he passed away before she got the chance to know him. Naturally she doesn't want her goddaughter to go through the same thing. This has more or less severed the friendship both the mother and her current boyfriend had with the godmother. The godmother randomly send the boyfriend this message one day, "I don't want you to get mad at me, but it's messed up that the father never gets to see the daughter, it's been months and that's not fair." His response was, "I could never be mad at you, but the father is a piece of crap and I don't want you mentioning his name to me ever again." The boyfriend later deleted the godmother off Facebook and she took it personally, I don't think they have spoken to each other since.
I found out a couple days ago from the mother that the father has sent her custody papers. I'm thinking this is about to turn into a custody battle. I've heard that the father has a criminal record with a couple DUI's and has been to rehab three times in the last six months, the godmother has denied the rehab part of that claim. The mother and her boyfriend, while I'm friend with them, aren't saints, but they don't have criminal records either. I have seen how they bond with the daughter, they love that girl more than anything. I have also been told that they want to change the daughter's last name from the father's and give her the boyfriend's last name. I have never heard of anyone doing something like that before and don't know what to think about it. I don't see any way this gets settled without someone getting hurt. I care about my friends and don't want to see them fighting with each other. Morally, I feel it's wrong to prevent anybody from seeing their child, the only exceptions being abusing of the child or drug use around the child.
I don't have any children and have never been in this situation, but feel for all those involved. I hope everything works out in a way to please everyone, but that doesn't look likely at this point. Thoughts from anyone here?
ed up situation anyway you look at it, and I feel for all those involved.
