Post by eljefe on Jun 27, 2016 22:01:04 GMT -5
I could choose to take this time to talk about New Nebula. I could choose to take this time to reflect on my past losses, but I can’t really afford to do that. But, strangely, I feel like I have to. I’ve always thought it funny that everyone seems to have such high regard for me, and yet I’ve never won a major match in my career. In fact, my career has been someone telling me that I have potential and putting me in some big match and then watching me lose again. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum.
Why can’t I reflect on my past losses? Because there are too many to count. Trace. Ace. Sabat. Battleground. Scars and Stripes. Tag Team Titles. The Triple Threat. I honestly don’t remember the last important match that I won. Shut up, Richard Wilkes is not important enough a person to have an important enough match with. If I sat here and spent this whole time complaining about how I’ve never won and I am doomed to fail, then I am only setting up my own demise. Maybe there is something in me that I can’t seem to pull out. Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know what people see in me, because I don’t think I see it in myself anymore.
I feel near nauseated at the thought that I was even a world title contender at one point. I wasn’t ready for that. But I kept being peppered and told how great I could be one day. And then….I lost. And then….I lost. You know how people say you can describe Russia’s history with “And then things got worse?” Well you can describe my career as “And then he lost.” Well, I got sick of losing, so I left. And what did I hear? “Man, I miss Cam Nitta. That guy had so much potential.” And then…I lost everything again. Even when I am away from the ring, I seem to lose. I wish I knew what the hell you all saw. I wish that I had some sort of feeble grasp on even the concept of holding me in such high regard. Honestly, it makes me want to quit. You see, this is why I can’t afford to reflect on this because I can’t afford to think like that.
I can’t afford to think like that because I have to remember that this is a business that takes no prisoners. This is a business that decides when you are down that it’s time to kick you some more. This is a business that is all about focusing on the next match…and the next one…and the next one. Because that is all we can control. We can’t control the result of the last show, and we might only have some say in the card of the next show. We can only focus on the match we have in front of us.
For me, that match is against Quentin Alexander. Quentin, you and I grew up in the same city, but we both know we sure as hell didn’t grow up in the same place. But you still may very well be the closest thing to a familiar face that I have here. I know who trained you. I know where you’ve wrestled. I have wrestled in the same places. We’ve probably seen the inside of Logan Square Auditorium more times that most people see their extended family. We both grew up cheering for the Bulls and not knowing anyone on the Hawks until Bill Wirtz died. But I imagine that you’ve seen way more than I have. I mean, look at me. I don’t come from the South Side, that’s for sure. I may root for the South Siders, but that doesn’t mean that I know anything of life south of Chinatown. I know how tough you must be to have made it out of there. And I know that I can’t afford to go easy on you, because, well, look at you. You’re big. Really big. You didn’t skip many days at the gym…in fact you might not have skipped any. And you didn’t make it out of that school without putting in your work in the ring, so I know that I am going into a match with a tough, well-rounded, and skilled competitor. But me? I’m just a guy who is trying to prove something to himself. I’m just a guy who knows a lot of things. I know about your past. I know about your style. I know about your will. I have nothing to lose, because I have already lost. So we will see what you can do. We will see what I can prove. We’ll see which side of Chicago prevails.
