dachs
Mid-Carder
Joined on: Jun 22, 2016 13:16:23 GMT -5
Posts: 105 
|
Post by dachs on Sept 24, 2016 20:08:41 GMT -5
(Maxwell Dachs enters the stage at one of his rallies to much fanfare, the crowd are very happy and excited to see Dachs, he waves and makes his way to his podium.)
Maxwell Dachs: Well it sure has a been a while folks. Believe me I would be out here sooner if I wasn't mugged backstage by some kid. It's odd, I was just walking back here and this f*cking kid that looks like he was going to shoot up a goddamn school just attacked me from behind. I think he was a member of the backstage crew or a janitor or something. Hopefully he gets reprimanded like he deserves, a classy affluent guy like myself shouldn't have to deal with dumpster trash like that kid. Christ, I hope he gets the help he needs. Do not worry, I had my manager send that poor kid a nice Hot Topic gift-card so he can get some new black eyeliner and a new My Chemical Romance shirt, and maybe some more razor blades to cut himself with!
(A woman with blond hair and red and blue highlights in her hair goes up on the stage and whispers in Dachs' ear. Dachs has a shocked look on his face and nods at the woman and goes back to speaking.)
Dachs: Well sh*t, I've just been informed by my manager that it was not some random kid but actually one of my opponents in this upcoming match. That's my bad folks, I apologize! So apparently I was mugged backstage by some sad kid who calls himself "The Slayer" I have never heard something so sad before in my life. Who in the hell gives himself their own nickname. That just screams desperate in my honest opinion. Maybe its some of that alcohol that his mother most likely drank while she was pregnant with him that caused him to be this pathetic. Because, believe me, someone has to be missing or has extra chromosomes to be this completely f*cking stupid. Honestly he should quit while he's ahead and retire, just to make sure he doesn't end up like his dumb*ss father. Real original entrance music and aesthetic if you ask me. I've never heard of a guy who thinks he's crazy or something wearing dark colors and listening to Black Sabbath before! Honestly, people like him come a dime a dozen. Just goes to show how are his creativity stretches. What is with all these people here in WFWF having bad childhoods and turning out to be pathetic try-hard edgy weirdos, I mean honestly. I didn't have the best childhood myself and look at the way I turned out! I'm perfectly fine! That is because I'm a strong person, I'm not weak like this Slayer fucboi. I worked for everything I have in my life, I didn't just accept my bad circumstances, I worked hard to have and be what I want. And this mentality has caused me to not be just a complete and absolute embarrassment and disgrace like Vas, and his unoriginality shows off once again in his remarks towards me, of course like the hack he is he attacks me for him thinking that I am a homosexual. Wow. Hard hitting stuff here folks. You know he's acting like a woman, whenever you upset a women they do one of two things, attack your dick size, which I have no problem there believe me, they attack your sexuality, which believe me I'm very straight. I mean look at my manager over there.
(Dachs points to the front row of the crowd where his manager is standing and the camera pans over to her.)
Dachs: See her over there! Pretty woman front row, she's not just my manager, go ask her if I'm straight or not folks. She knows more than anyone. I won't go into it more, trust me, I'm a professional.
(Dachs pauses and pulls out a piece of paper from below his podium and begins remarking upon it.)
Dachs: Can we please talk about these rankings released by this dopey Higglebottom, who runs some tiny podcast or some sh*t, I don't think anybody trusts this man and I honestly can't blame them. You're an idiot if you actually believe this ranking of WFWF superstars. It's a load of BS, I mean just look at who is on this list before me, you got people like Ante Whitner, and who the hell is that anyway? They also have David Brennan on here, a cheating drunkard who is too afraid of me to face me one on one. How can you trust this list when you have losers like this on the list and they don't even have the greatest wrestler in the company on the vote? What gives?
(Dachs takes a drink of water and finishes up his speech.)
Dachs: Then we have this sick man Leroy Jenkins, who appears to name himself after some video game or something, what a child. And he's claiming I need to be on a porno set, I'm not sure what kind of man would use being on a porn set as an insult, being a pornstar would be great! You'd get to have sex for money, what kind of person in their right mind would complain about that! Also he says that i should be in prison, which makes absolutely no sense in my opinion. I'm not a criminal and he has nothing to back that up. What a dumb*ss. He claims he's a 4-wheel truck, doesn't seem bad on paper, until you find out he's a poorly made truck, like a Ford or a Chevy. While me on the other hand, I'm like a nice sports car, like a Lamborghini, sadly this trailer trash thinks gas guzzling trucks are the way to go. Newsflash Jenkins, they're not, not only are you destroying the environment, you're buying a poorly made car. But what kinds of cars people are aren't important, what is important is how I am the only deserving person to the Golden Opportunity in this match. I mean just look how pathetic my competition is. I honestly thought WFWF could pull together a better bunch and give me better competition. Sadly for me and the WFWF fans, they've given what they want, more of me of course, but they gave me two crapty opponents. Hopefully at Superbrawl they can do better in the Golden Opportunity match for me. It is what the fans deserve. He told Frank that is coming for him and that he is tired of waiting around. So I guess if that is true Jenkins, if you're tired of waiting around maybe you can be the one setting up the ring for me and the other competitors at Superbrawl. Because honestly that is all you're good for, because not only do I deserve better than you, the WFWF fans all across the world do. And I promise you all that I will win at Gate and I will certainly win at Superbrawl, because that is what you deserve! Thank you and goodnight!
(Dachs steps off and waves as his manager joins him on stage and they walk off the stage. Fade to black.) |
|
|
|
Post by King Richius on Sept 24, 2016 20:32:50 GMT -5
As a promo for your match I love this! You fired back at Vass and LeeRoy and hit nothing but bullseyes. Some excellent trash talk. Your best yet imho.
I didn't love the lack of a non-promo scene showing the Dachs behind the on camera hype man. There has to be more to Dachs than charismatic slimy arrogance and I for one would like to see that side of him too.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sizzle on Sept 24, 2016 20:42:47 GMT -5
I had to stop reading and get myself together because of those shots at Vass.
|
|
|
|
Post by bad guy™ on Sept 24, 2016 20:50:09 GMT -5
You actually referenced the rankings. You're my hero.
|
|
|
|
Post by King Richius on Sept 24, 2016 20:57:21 GMT -5
You actually referenced the rankings. You're my hero. I have been in contact with Mike Hickenbottom and he has a message for Maxwell Dachs: "Win your triple threat match, then win the Golden Opportunity at SuperBrawl, and you will break into the rankings. Keep getting my name wrong and you can suck a..." At that point our connection broke up. I think he drove into a tunnel or something like that. |
|
|
|
Post by CM Poor on Sept 25, 2016 14:49:56 GMT -5
I've got no problem with your approach. Every time someone breaks the norm here, the get a king's plate worth of sh*t for it, which I don't get at all.
A) we have no format for rps. Bishop spent forever writing nothing but monologues and did just fine. He's branched out since, but anyone worth their salt here'd tell you he's a standard bearer for that approach.
2) Your character isn't overly complicated, which I think is fine. We've done every last trope that could possibly describe why someone acts the way they do here and as someone who's gone about as generic as it gets, it's pretty simple to see that it's tired and overdone. Your character is a brash, arrogant, d*ck. We don't need a sh*t ton of scenery to paint that picture as long as what you convey in your words gets the point across.
iii) I like your character and I'd be disheartened if you changed your style cause your rps are always an entertaining read, and sometimes that's refreshing after every last pint/murder/line/boot/abusive father. I read this last, and it was a nice note to end the show on.
|
|
dachs
Mid-Carder
Joined on: Jun 22, 2016 13:16:23 GMT -5
Posts: 105
|
Post by dachs on Sept 25, 2016 19:48:07 GMT -5
I've got no problem with your approach. Every time someone breaks the norm here, the get a king's plate worth of sh*t for it, which I don't get at all. A) we have no format for rps. Bishop spent forever writing nothing but monologues and did just fine. He's branched out since, but anyone worth their salt here'd tell you he's a standard bearer for that approach. 2) Your character isn't overly complicated, which I think is fine. We've done every last trope that could possibly describe why someone acts the way they do here and as someone who's gone about as generic as it gets, it's pretty simple to see that it's tired and overdone. Your character is a brash, arrogant, d*ck. We don't need a sh*t ton of scenery to paint that picture as long as what you convey in your words gets the point across iii) I like your character and I'd be disheartened if you changed your style cause your rps are always an entertaining read, and sometimes that's refreshing after every last pint/murder/line/boot/abusive father. I read this last, and it was a nice note to end the show on. This is why I'm reluctant to do any backstory out of fear of falling into cliches and crap. Not every character has a backstory to tell |
|
|
|
Post by Rated R on Sept 27, 2016 16:59:03 GMT -5
See I'm in two minds about the whole backstory thing. On one side I do enjoy what you're putting out and I don't think you need to give backstory just for the sake of padding out your pieces. On the other I do always enjoy seeing more of the characters outside of what they're saying to the cameras. It's a tricky one. But I've got to say this was another fun piece and I do enjoy getting to read something that's just straight up slamming your opponents, it's refreshing, so maybe that answers my own question right there.
|
|
dachs
Mid-Carder
Joined on: Jun 22, 2016 13:16:23 GMT -5
Posts: 105
|
Post by dachs on Sept 27, 2016 19:04:22 GMT -5
I do enjoy getting to read something that's just straight up slamming your opponents >slamming your opponents me likey |
|
|
|
Post by The Champ is Here! on Sept 27, 2016 20:56:59 GMT -5
Really good smack talk here
I am in the camp that enjoys the back story, but i also get why you don't
May the best man win
|
|
|
|
Post by Mr. PerpetuaLynch Motion on Sept 29, 2016 13:33:20 GMT -5
I thought this was alright. Two things that kinda took me out of it though. 1) the swearing at a press event. It didn't strike me as "real". No one in the press is going to appreciate not being able to use some of Dachs' best sound bites because he couldn't hold his tongue. It was almost unnecessary. 2) In my head it sounded at times more like Donald Trump at a rally than anything. I'm also in the camp of those who enjoy a good back story but this is one of those rare exceptions where I think going too deep into a back story for Dachs would actually do more of a disservice to Dachs at this point. I hope you look at giving some insight into him though down the line. You clearly have a penchant for smack talk though so I'll give you props for that.
|
|
dachs
Mid-Carder
Joined on: Jun 22, 2016 13:16:23 GMT -5
Posts: 105
|
Post by dachs on Sept 29, 2016 23:29:04 GMT -5
I thought this was alright. Two things that kinda took me out of it though. 1) the swearing at a press event. It didn't strike me as "real". No one in the press is going to appreciate not being able to use some of Dachs' best sound bites because he couldn't hold his tongue. It was almost unnecessary. 2) In my head it sounded at times more like Donald Trump at a rally than anything. I'm also in the camp of those who enjoy a good back story but this is one of those rare exceptions where I think going too deep into a back story for Dachs would actually do more of a disservice to Dachs at this point. I hope you look at giving some insight into him though down the line. You clearly have a penchant for smack talk though so I'll give you props for that. It's not a press event. It's a make wfwf great again rally |
|
|
|
Post by Mr. PerpetuaLynch Motion on Sept 30, 2016 0:28:00 GMT -5
I thought this was alright. Two things that kinda took me out of it though. 1) the swearing at a press event. It didn't strike me as "real". No one in the press is going to appreciate not being able to use some of Dachs' best sound bites because he couldn't hold his tongue. It was almost unnecessary. 2) In my head it sounded at times more like Donald Trump at a rally than anything. I'm also in the camp of those who enjoy a good back story but this is one of those rare exceptions where I think going too deep into a back story for Dachs would actually do more of a disservice to Dachs at this point. I hope you look at giving some insight into him though down the line. You clearly have a penchant for smack talk though so I'll give you props for that. It's not a press event. It's a make wfwf great again rally And the press wouldn't attend this? Or at the very least a WFWF Camera crew? I'm not saying you have to change it necessarily it just took me out of it that's all. It's one of those things where in a setting where cameras are theoretically trained on my character at least I just think that it comes across as unnecessary. Now if it was a situation where Dachs was talking to someone and was unaware he was being filmed, sure. But to each their own I guess, UFC fighters swear at press conferences and all that jazz so I could very well be in the minority. Not saying it doesn't have a place, just seemed it was in there for the sake of being in there that's all. Didn't add any punch to what was being said. Pretty small thing to gripe on in the grand scheme of things. I did say I liked it overall  |
|
I dont know good luck 
