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Post by HHH316 on Dec 18, 2016 22:03:11 GMT -5
I'm not trying to be harsh, but your situation could of been so much worse. Luckily, you weren't living together, married, or have any kids together.
I know it's rough right now, but when I hear about "girls like that" I think about the Adam Sandler movie Big Daddy. Put all of your energy into finding a new job with a fresh start.
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Post by Darkhawk on Dec 19, 2016 0:01:30 GMT -5
Dude I've been in the same situation as you, I was talking to some girl I really liked for a good year on and off. One day I reconnected with her and started talking again but she kept blowing me off in wanting to hang out and wanted to be single since she was dealing with personal issues. I understood and decided to just wait it out when the time is right, well unfortunately for me she stopped talking to me for a good 2 months after I supported her and she found a nice job which she need badly at the time.
I ended up getting a text from her one night and reconnected with her for a few days, I pretty much found out she got fired from her job and was dating the manager at the time. Apparently she only texted me for comfort and support, in my mind I already knew she was just using me but I'm a nice guy and wanted to give her a second chance. Once again I showed my support for her and she got another job, we planned to hang out together to celebrate but yet again she blew me off by not texting me all day. Some may think I could of just let it go, but not to me this was the last straw for me and I ended up telling her to f**k off and never come into my life again. Right now I'm currently half way done with college about to get my associates this year, have a good paying job, have 3 careers set for me when I finish college, and talking to a new girl I like so I'm perfectly fine without her lying to me and causing me to go crazy.
I do understand what happened to you was wrong and this generation is pretty selfish, I realized the only way for someone to be standing is if they are standing on someone's back. Best you can do is stand up and forget about that b**ch and let karma do it's job. Go buy yourself something nice like a new title or video game or something to keep your mind off. Things don't happen to you they will happen for you and realize bad moments don't last forever.
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Post by Emerald Enthusiast on Dec 20, 2016 6:13:47 GMT -5
Nick,
I won't tell you to deny your emotions, but from the limited information in this story, it sounds like your ex-girlfriend (even if it wasn't official) has some complicated issues. It doesn't seem like she was being completely honest with you for whatever reason, and she seems to have made a very impulsive move to be with someone at a very different stage in life (20s vs 40s) than she is. I look at that situation and it has several red flags. She might be a wonderful person, but I sense some immaturity that could have been very problematic had your relationship continued. I know you're still hurting, but try to keep that in mind.
Right now, the most beneficial avenue to take is rebuilding your career. You have a degree with which you have built work experience. That means you have a specialized set of skills that you have used in a professional setting. You aren't starting from square one because you had a chance to prove yourself, and you did. That should be helpful in your next job.
Moreover, take care to maintain the other relationships in your life. You may feel a natural need to withdraw, but don't let that damage your relationships with friends and family.
Lastly, take care of your physical self. Sleep, exercise regularly, and eat a balanced diet. Remember, there are chemicals in the human brain that react negatively when we don't address these essential aspects of our physical selves. Do *NOT* use alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism. They'll exacerbate your problems rather than solve them.
Be well, and be blessed.
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Post by Valbroski on Dec 20, 2016 8:20:35 GMT -5
My intent isn't to be a dick but this sounds like crap you should be too old for. It sounds like you two were on different pages. My advice would be to take time for yourself and put your energy into something more productive like finding a better job.
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China Claus
Main Eventer
I can feeel your sensitivity
Joined on: Apr 17, 2012 20:05:15 GMT -5
Posts: 2,737
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Post by China Claus on Dec 20, 2016 12:46:04 GMT -5
My girlfriend left me after 9 years almost a year ago, and we have a six year old! Needless to say, it was pretty harsh. Luckily I've moved on since then, and have someone new, and so much better in my life.
All wounds heal with time, and one day you'll think, "What did I ever even see in her?"
My main advice is occupy your time. Get out. Hang with friends. Don't just sulk, it makes things worse.
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Post by Epic Z on Dec 22, 2016 15:50:57 GMT -5
Serious question, you say you guys hung out and talked yet she said you guys had nothing going on. Did you guys have sex? From reading this i'm getting the vibe you didn't
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Post by Nick the Quick on Dec 22, 2016 19:56:05 GMT -5
Serious question, you say you guys hung out and talked yet she said you guys had nothing going on. Did you guys have sex? From reading this i'm getting the vibe you didn't Obviously we were on different pages and didn't know it. It would have made the transition easier for me if we got on the same page before she got with the other guy. I'm not answering the other question as I'm sure it answers itself. |
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Post by Patrick Bateman (original) on Dec 23, 2016 18:54:35 GMT -5
I am sorry you lost your job, that can be rough especially this time of the year.
As for the girl, you gotta let it go man. To me it sounds like you were friend zoned and didn't even know it. I am sure she will "never forget you", just like I have tons of girls that were in my life that I "never forgot", that doesn't mean I am friends with them on social media and talk to them.
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Deleted
Joined on: May 5, 2024 23:16:33 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 24, 2016 1:07:16 GMT -5
Ah man, I feel for you buddy. It sucks, but you'll get you a nice woman. Hell, I was going through some crap a few months ago, except she left me for another chick that she told me she "hated".
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Post by Vamp55 on Dec 28, 2016 8:54:37 GMT -5
crap dude, sounds like you got some stuff going on.
First thing, as other have said, u basically weren't even together in her eyes, and maybe if u had locked it down she would have know the score a bit better. Can't really blame her on that one, and I'm guessing the boyfriend is older then You, sounds a lot like she wanted someone who wouldn't 'kinda' be with her and 'would' be with her.
Live and learn my friend, if u want something go after it. I do feel that this girl might not be for u, best move on and learn from it. If u go after it now, u will likely cop a back hand from the guy or worse.
As for the job, that really sucks... were u looking before your last day of work for another job. Basic rule of thumb, apply for 10 jobs, you'll get 1 interview, interview 10 times, you'll get 1 job. So u are going to need to get out there and sort that. I also strongly recommending telling friends and family u are looking for work. More often then not, they are likely a good source of opportunities opening up (assuming u are in a position to do so)
Job first, ladies second. U don't want the ladies who are happy to take on a rejected unemployed person - Ill bet ya they come with more issues then it's worth. Control what you can, and in this case u can control (to a certain point) getting another job.
Finally, it's been a couple weeks since your post, if u are still feeling the way you described - get some help mate. And I mean talk to someone who can actually help. I don't fix my car when it's broken cause I don't know how. I'm guessing u and most here (if not all) aren't mental health experts, so don't rely on us... no shame in seeking help when life gets tough.
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Post by Hammersmith Hardman on Dec 29, 2016 16:21:28 GMT -5
One day you will wake up and you'll be completely over her. We all have our first love and it's usually someone that ends up hurting you, I was pretty much used a few years ago for attention and affection. It hurt for months and got even worse just like in your story, she later got with a co-worker. But honestly one day I just woke up and stopped feeling sorry for myself over her.
Nearly 5 years down the line, I'm happily engaged with another woman and last time I knew of her she had 2 children and I know for a fact she struggles to keep relationships, so joke is on her.
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Post by ¡Twist Of Cinnamon! on Dec 30, 2016 7:26:22 GMT -5
By the sounds of things, you weren't in a relationship but rather stuck in the friend zone. As I've said before, the best way to get over a girl is to get under another.
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ozz
Main Eventer
Joined on: Aug 1, 2011 16:37:04 GMT -5
Posts: 1,394
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Post by ozz on Dec 30, 2016 11:39:13 GMT -5
Life seems to suck at times, but use those as learning opportunities. Both situations are rough, but it's nothing you can't get through and nothing folks don't deal with on a daily basis. I've been laid off twice in my career and each time ended up catapulting me to better places. The last time, it bettered my salary situation 3x after a couple months. On the relationship level, there's always folks that seem perfect for you that end up screwing you over in your mind, not working out for one reason or another with no logical explanation, and so on. It will always hurt especially when you feel you were wronged, things could and should have worked differently, etc. but there's nothing you can do besides accept it and move on. Doesn't make it any easier, but at least realizing it's not your fault or because of something wrong with you will help - if not soon then in the long run for sure. You could probably ask 10 random people who are happy w/their relationships today and every single one could rattle off a similar story from their past. I bet a few would even have the same experience of essentially having their face rubbed in it right afterward too, I can think of some like that from many years ago :lol: Random thought, I am only 34 and if I even thought about dating a 26 year old my brain would explode.  that. Hopefully that guy will end up eating crap soon enough and you can laugh at that while you're already moved on w/your life  Good ol' schadenfreude for the new year, haha. FWIW I'm married happily anyway so that's a moot point, but even still...yikes. No thanks. |
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Post by Gone. on Dec 30, 2016 13:02:57 GMT -5
9 months and it was never official? But you're crying like you was engaged? What did you learn.
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Joe Magnet
Mid-Carder
WF 10+ Year Member
Chuck Taylor is a serious wrestler.
Joined on: Sept 11, 2011 18:51:05 GMT -5
Posts: 455
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Post by Joe Magnet on Jan 1, 2017 20:06:03 GMT -5
I recently got screwed over by this girl I was talking to. And maybe I'm not totally over her yet but it definitely stings less now. When it first happened it killed me. But you have to continue up with your daily routine. That's what I've been doing while simultaneously realizing that what I had with this girl is over and done with, and I feel a lot better. The advice I have for you now is to continue to job search. Make that your number one priority. Anything that reminds you of her just stop doing, or hide because every time you do the thing or see whatever it is, it will remind you of her and it'll kill you. Once you start realizing that what you had is past, you can really start to move on and start leading a healthier life.
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