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Post by Nick the Quick on Dec 15, 2016 22:32:00 GMT -5
Hi, I really don't like talking about my personal life on here, but I don't know where else to turn. Hopefully some of you can help me out and maybe even relate to my troubles.
It all started a few months ago, when I found out the girl I was hanging out with, basically dating although never officially, for nine months was in a relationship with someone else. She told me she reconnected with a old friend and they ended up together. I come to find out a week later that she made that story up. Her new boyfriend actually ended up being a 41 year old co-worker. She's 24 and said she would never date anyone over 30. It's her first official relationship and it happened out of nowhere. I still to this day don't understand it. She said I didn't do anything wrong, but we had a fight and her and the guy got together during a two week period afterwards when I just figured I was giving her space.
A couple weeks later, I found out I would be getting laid off from my job in two months, this is the end of September, my last day ended up being November 30th. I knew that was coming at some point, but you're never ready for it when it finally does. I have no idea where to go from here. I have a degree in Communications, but I've been out of school for so long the odds of using it are slim.
Between the two, losing the girl was the harder blow. She was the closest thing I ever had to a real relationship. Keep in mind she's been dating a co-worker and I had to see them all over each other in the final two months of work. Fun times indeed. I can't shake the feeling that our fight scared her away from me and into the arms of her now boyfriend. I have spent way more time than I would like to admit laying in a fetal position crying over losing her. In the final days of work, I couldn't keep it together trying to talk to her, she saw me breaking down, didn't seem to care much. The last day on the job, I said "I'll never forget you, and I hope you never forget me." Hugging her with tears in my eyes. She said, "I won't." Two days later in blocked on Facebook. So much for "I won't forgot you."
She's still all I think about, I'm still crying to this day. I can't focus on a job search to find my next job, being unemployed is salt in the wound. All I want is the second chance, which I know can't happen because her and the guy are still together. I know I'm supposed to move find, find a job and a play the field, but I feel so defeated, borderline depressed.
If everything happens for a reason, what the reason for all my suffering? I've never felt so worthless.
Sorry for venting so much, I just needed to get that off my chest.
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Post by Mongo Bears on Dec 15, 2016 23:10:49 GMT -5
Poor guy Stop thinking about it asap. Move on to getting yourself feeling good about yourself first whatever it takes.
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👑🇵🇭⭐️
Main Eventer
WF 10 Year Member
King Of The Ring 2007 - Team Undisputed
Joined on: Feb 4, 2013 13:46:47 GMT -5
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Post by 👑🇵🇭⭐️ on Dec 16, 2016 0:28:39 GMT -5
When life gets you down, or when life gives you a reason to celebrate, do what I do, and buy one of these. If you're feeling bad, these will make you feel better. If you're feeling good, these will make you feel better.
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Post by layzie on Dec 16, 2016 0:33:41 GMT -5
first off youve been here since 2002 and have 1700 posts? lol idk why but i find that crazy
moving on to your thing...truth is, she was probably never that into you to begin with. also, your first mistake was probably getting involved with a co-worker. if she was willing to get with you, then she was clearly down as a clown to get with anyone else she worked with, and you had to have known that when you signed up...
...oh but wait - and most importantly - you said it yourself, she was "the girl I was hanging out with, basically dating although never officially" - you should've locked that up dude!! thats on you. if she was never truly your girlfreind, how can you be so taken aback that she moved on? a sense of commitment goes a long way in any type of a relationship. so you were that head over heels for her, yet you wouldn't wholly commit to her after 9 MONTHS, and you're upset and shocked that she found someone else??...sorry pal but i am beginning to lose sympathy for your situation.
and as far as the "So much for "I won't forgot you."" thing... yeah dude, what she meant by that was, she certainly wont forget you because what you said to her on your way out was kinda stalkerish / creepy at best. hell i kinda dont blame her for lying to you in the first place.
and don't shoot the messanger, maybe this is what you need to hear...if you were clearly that meaningless to her, it shouldn't mean your world ending over it. esp since as you said yourself, it wasn't even a "real" relationship.
and, it sucks to get laid off from your job, it really does, i've been there more than once myself, but two months notice is a hell of a lot better than the two weeks (if that) most people get slapped with in corporate america these days. and you even said yourself you knew it was coming. suck it up, dude. seriously.
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Post by hbkbigdaddycool on Dec 16, 2016 0:48:18 GMT -5
He probably has lots of money and can buy her things. Girls who are younger can be very shallow and date/screw an older man as long as they buy her nice, pretty things.
I suggest just forget her! There are other girls out there. I know its easy for you to think there isn't any right now, but trust me, in due time there will be other ladies in your life.
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Post by Nick the Quick on Dec 16, 2016 1:27:33 GMT -5
first off youve been here since 2002 and have 1700 posts? lol idk why but i find that crazy moving on to your thing...truth is, she was probably never that into you to begin with. also, your first mistake was probably getting involved with a co-worker. if she was willing to get with you, then she was clearly down as a clown to get with anyone else she worked with, and you had to have known that when you signed up... ...oh but wait - and most importantly - you said it yourself, she was "the girl I was hanging out with, basically dating although never officially" - you should've locked that up dude!! thats on you. if she was never truly your girlfreind, how can you be so taken aback that she moved on? a sense of commitment goes a long way in any type of a relationship. so you were that head over heels for her, yet you wouldn't wholly commit to her after 9 MONTHS, and you're upset and shocked that she found someone else??...sorry pal but i am beginning to lose sympathy for your situation. and as far as the "So much for "I won't forgot you."" thing... yeah dude, what she meant by that was, she certainly wont forget you because what you said to her on your way out was kinda stalkerish / creepy at best. hell i kinda dont blame her for lying to you in the first place. and don't shoot the messanger, maybe this is what you need to hear...if you were clearly that meaningless to her, it shouldn't mean your world ending over it. esp since as you said yourself, it wasn't even a "real" relationship. and, it sucks to get laid off from your job, it really does, i've been there more than once myself, but two months notice is a hell of a lot better than the two weeks (if that) most people get slapped with in corporate america these days. and you even said yourself you knew it was coming. suck it up, dude. seriously. Actually, she was the one who asked me to start hanging out, and she gave off vibes she wanted to jump right into a relationship. Anyway, I wanted to play it in what I thought was the smart way, wait and see if it was real. I feel hard for her during this. I was hesitant for many reasons, we worked different schedules, including having different days off, thus having limited time together. Things were going fine, I just figured we would eventually say we were together. Neither one of us ever said a relationship was out of the question down the road. I still thought it was possible the day I found out she had a boyfriend. She told him that her and I didn't have anything going on, but never told me. I was also told by a co-worker she's close with that she felt I was desperate. Again, I feel she just got confused when we had our fight, called the other guy looking for comfort, and jumped right into a relationship with him because he was there for her in a weak moment. As far as that stalkerish/creepy thing. I get that but at the same time I would rather here, "you just creeped me out, stay away from me, don't talk to me ever again," and the like than saying "I won't forget you." Truth hurts, but a lie hurts even more. I'm a realist, meaning I have little to no tolerance for B.S. I know when something is up, and two and two never equaled four here. Did I screw up, yes. Am I 100% to blame, no.
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Post by Nick the Quick on Dec 16, 2016 1:40:37 GMT -5
He probably has lots of money and can buy her things. Girls who are younger can be very shallow and date/screw an older man as long as they buy her nice, pretty things. I suggest just forget her! There are other girls out there. I know its easy for you to think there isn't any right now, but trust me, in due time there will be other ladies in your life. Well, he did make more money than me, but him, her, and I all got laid off, so he doesn't anymore. She wasn't high maintenance so I don't believe money was the motivation. She would have never considered me if that was the case, we both only made $10/hr. The part that bothers me is she said she wouldn't date anyone over 30, then gets with a 41 year old out of nowhere. Granted, he's a teenager trapped in a 41 year old's body, but still, well over 30. I just think of how different things may have been, there's no way to prove if they would have been, but still, it's driving me nuts.
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Post by BSR on Dec 16, 2016 1:55:23 GMT -5
Sounds like they're partying it up.
He probably lives the average 41 year old man child lifestyle
Best bet. Just move forward in life, and be more careful of who you pick next time.
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Post by hbkbigdaddycool on Dec 16, 2016 9:20:02 GMT -5
He probably has lots of money and can buy her things. Girls who are younger can be very shallow and date/screw an older man as long as they buy her nice, pretty things. I suggest just forget her! There are other girls out there. I know its easy for you to think there isn't any right now, but trust me, in due time there will be other ladies in your life. Well, he did make more money than me, but him, her, and I all got laid off, so he doesn't anymore. She wasn't high maintenance so I don't believe money was the motivation. She would have never considered me if that was the case, we both only made $10/hr. The part that bothers me is she said she wouldn't date anyone over 30, then gets with a 41 year old out of nowhere. Granted, he's a teenager trapped in a 41 year old's body, but still, well over 30. I just think of how different things may have been, there's no way to prove if they would have been, but still, it's driving me nuts. When I was 26, I was dating a 17 year old (its legal here in Canada) and plus I wasn't mature at all at age 26. And I thought the same thing about this girl that you did of yours. She wasn't high maintenance, or anything. But then she started to take drivers ed and her driving instructor was 36 at the time, and she ended up leaving me for him, because he could buy her a car, and taker her to Disney World. Girls can be the most shallow evil people at times when it comes to money and being pampered. She wasn't clearly a good girl for you. That girl will come around, but you just have to wait. You will know it when it happens.
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Post by Lorenzo Alcazar on Dec 16, 2016 9:31:13 GMT -5
Relationships are tough. Ending them sucks, trust me. But here's the thing....she treated you like sh*t, so why do you want a second chance at that? Don't waste your time on somebody that doesn't care about you the same way. You waste time and energy chasing the idea of somebody, rather than focusing on finding somebody who does care about you.
People don't change. You are not going to change this girl. The only thing that would happen is if she has a problem with the new guy, she'd probably latch back onto you, because that's what girls like this do...they treat guys like crap and bounce back and forth between multiple people so that they are never alone, but it's all just temporary.
Focus on you and what will make you happy, not trying to get back into a bad situation. Good luck.
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Post by T R W on Dec 16, 2016 9:36:43 GMT -5
I've been through worse relationship issues, so I know what it feels like. At the same time you weren't really in a relationship. Whether she led you on, or you read too much into a casual relationship, it is hard to say. It could be that you didn't make your feelings and intentions clear enough and it showed what she felt was a lack of interest or indifference, causing her to seek a relationship elsewhere. It could be that she just has stronger feelings with this other person.
In the end, it doesn't matter because she has moved on to someone else. Learn from what you feel your mistakes were in this relationship, and use that learning experience to help you in the next one. While it feels impossible to get over now, time heals all wounds. It doesn't really matter if it is your fault or hers that it didn't work out. Take the opportunity to improve yourself, and make you the best you can be.
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Post by Tim of thee on Dec 16, 2016 9:40:44 GMT -5
I'd focus on landing a job first. No woman wants a guy without an income. Plus, its just a matter of self respect. Build yourself up from the ground level.
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Post by rowdy1971 on Dec 16, 2016 11:16:19 GMT -5
I'm 45 dating a 26 year old and I gotta tell you...IT'S FANTASTIC! Plain and simple and blunt. You took too long to lock her down, like it was said before. Were you two intimate together? Did you two make out at all? How old are you by the way? This is a life lesson for you and for everyone else. Now as for the job. You need to get that first and foremost in your focus. Get a job and work your ass off and get the things you want first before ever settling down in a relationship. Just date around right now, you'll be happier that you did. Live where you want to live, drive what you want to drive. Then after that get the girl you want. Keep your head up and if all else fails....RKO the both of them.
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Post by Escape The Rules on Dec 16, 2016 12:44:17 GMT -5
Mate I went through a similar thing almost 2 years ago. I'll nutshell the story here and then I'll private message you a link to a blog recently I did that addresses it. I went through a short stint of depression because of it and I've had 3 different people tell me that my story really helped and inspired them so I hope it can do the same for you...
The short story is: I knew this girl for a couple of years. I really liked her on and off and then on again. I began talking to her in mid to late 2014. We really bonded, had a lot in common, similar interests, personalities and sense of humours and talked all the time. I ended up madly falling in love with her and had planned on asking her out on Valentine's day in 2015. Suddenly she became distant, I tried messaging her, would get sporadic responses. And then finally, a week before Valentine's Day in 2015, she blocked me. I was crushed.
Absolutely devastated and became deeply depressed over it. She was the best thing going in my life and now she was gone. I felt like the best days in my life were behind me and I felt so alone. For a while, life as a whole felt pointless and I didn't want to be here anymore.
Months down the road I found out she was actually seeing a guy twice her age! She was 24 at the time and he was almost 50. And he looked even older. I have absolutely no idea what the attraction was there. It certainly wasn't money. And they were total opposites. I've told 2 different people about this story and they've both said that it usually has something to with the dad. And this was before I had even mentioned that her dad died when she was 13. Crazy! Last I checked, they had split up this time last year.
Long story short, I got over it. At the time, I thought I would NEVER be able to, but actually got there a lot quicker than I ever would have imagined. I found closure and have been happy ever since. You may not see it right now, but trust me when I say, there is light at the end of the tunnel and things WILL get better.
I'll pm you that blog now. If anyone else reading this wishes to read, shoot me a pm.
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Joined on: May 6, 2024 4:07:50 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2016 15:36:11 GMT -5
Ah, yes, welcome to my life for the past decade or so. Had more girlfriends dump me for older, richer guys than I've had pairs of shoes in my lifetime. Best advice? Just move on, don't even bother. Usually they come crawling back, but just turn them down, it simply ain't worth the time. Just keep looking, you will eventually strike gold as I have now.
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Post by Mox on Dec 16, 2016 15:53:10 GMT -5
layzie's post sounds harsh, but it's actually some of the best advice I've read. Hard stuff to hear is usually what you need to hear.
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Greensborohill
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Post by Greensborohill on Dec 16, 2016 16:08:31 GMT -5
Hi, I really don't like talking about my personal life on here, but I don't know where else to turn. Hopefully some of you can help me out and maybe even relate to my troubles. It all started a few months ago, when I found out the girl I was hanging out with, basically dating although never officially, for nine months was in a relationship with someone else. She told me she reconnected with a old friend and they ended up together. I come to find out a week later that she made that story up. Her new boyfriend actually ended up being a 41 year old co-worker. She's 24 and said she would never date anyone over 30. It's her first official relationship and it happened out of nowhere. I still to this day don't understand it. She said I didn't do anything wrong, but we had a fight and her and the guy got together during a two week period afterwards when I just figured I was giving her space. A couple weeks later, I found out I would be getting laid off from my job in two months, this is the end of September, my last day ended up being November 30th. I knew that was coming at some point, but you're never ready for it when it finally does. I have no idea where to go from here. I have a degree in Communications, but I've been out of school for so long the odds of using it are slim. Between the two, losing the girl was the harder blow. She was the closest thing I ever had to a real relationship. Keep in mind she's been dating a co-worker and I had to see them all over each other in the final two months of work. Fun times indeed. I can't shake the feeling that our fight scared her away from me and into the arms of her now boyfriend. I have spent way more time than I would like to admit laying in a fetal position crying over losing her. In the final days of work, I couldn't keep it together trying to talk to her, she saw me breaking down, didn't seem to care much. The last day on the job, I said "I'll never forget you, and I hope you never forget me." Hugging her with tears in my eyes. She said, "I won't." Two days later in blocked on Facebook. So much for "I won't forgot you." She's still all I think about, I'm still crying to this day. I can't focus on a job search to find my next job, being unemployed is salt in the wound. All I want is the second chance, which I know can't happen because her and the guy are still together. I know I'm supposed to move find, find a job and a play the field, but I feel so defeated, borderline depressed. If everything happens for a reason, what the reason for all my suffering? I've never felt so worthless. Sorry for venting so much, I just needed to get that off my chest. Go lift weights and get your self-esteem up. There are other girls out there.
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Greensborohill
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CHAMPION
Joined on: Jan 14, 2007 14:44:44 GMT -5
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Post by Greensborohill on Dec 16, 2016 16:14:36 GMT -5
I'm 45 dating a 26 year old and I gotta tell you...IT'S FANTASTIC! Plain and simple and blunt. You took too long to lock her down, like it was said before. Were you two intimate together? Did you two make out at all? How old are you by the way? This is a life lesson for you and for everyone else. Now as for the job. You need to get that first and foremost in your focus. Get a job and work your ass off and get the things you want first before ever settling down in a relationship. Just date around right now, you'll be happier that you did. Live where you want to live, drive what you want to drive. Then after that get the girl you want. Keep your head up and if all else fails....RKO the both of them. Good for you. Married, but I'm in shape enough, look young enough, and have enough of a youthful personality that I would mainly look to date girls in their mid-20's if the circumstance ever presented itself.
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Post by Halloween King on Dec 17, 2016 3:29:44 GMT -5
It seems, to me, that she moved on pretty easily. Which tells me that you either did something awful or she was never into you much. I fear to think she may even enjoy to see you be miserable? All I can say is move on, but it's easy for me to say because I've never been in that position.
I would focus on work. You had two months notice to find a new job. Did you try to look for work or did you just sulk at home? In any case the best thing you can do now is find a job. Move on with your life. Work will take your mind off of her. Work will provide you with more opportunities.
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Post by Nivro™ on Dec 18, 2016 21:35:22 GMT -5
Never get upset, worry, cry or be bothered by a woman. We all do it but you gotta remember. **** is like sand on the beach...Its everywhere.
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