Post by wolvenbear on Jan 27, 2023 5:35:33 GMT -5
Cline: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Raw. We bring you Oklahoma legend Chuck Norris, accompanying hometown American Idol, Carrie Underwood, to sing the National Anthem. Carrie. If you can start us off right?
Underwood: Ooooh, say can you...
(Holla, if you hear me! The nWo theme hits as Steiner immediately stalks down to the ring.)
JR: Oh, God. Not again.
(Steiner dashes to the ring and grabs Underwood by the neck, a mic in his hand.)
Steiner: We're not going to keep doing this. If I don't get what I want, then...
(He never gets to finish his threat. Chuck Norris spins him and hits a surprise roundhouse to Steiner's head.)
Tenay: And the American hero cannot take anymore! He will not stand by and watch Steiner assault an innocent woman!
JR: Thank God someone is standing in the way!
(Norris punches away at Steiner, staggering him against the ropes. Before he can recover, Norris clotheslines him over. Steiner starts to stagger away, but Norris isn't done. Chasing him, he starts to pound away once more. But, Steiner quickly hits a thumb to the eye and lands a nasty spinning Suplex onto the stairs.)
JR: Good lord. This man is in his 70s. He is a national treasure. Steiner is going to break his spine for doing the right thing.
Tenay: Normally I would say that he has it coming for getting involved in something that was not his business. But it is never acceptable to hit a woman. Never. Chuck Norris was only standing for basic decency.
(As Steiner mounts Norris on the stairs, Foley's music hits. He comes running down with a mic.)
Foley: No, no, no, no. We are not doing this again. You are not going to keep coming out here and assaulting our guests.
Steiner: As the man said in Storm of the Century, give me what I want and I go away. Me. Shawn Michaels. Tonight. For the belt.
Folay: Absolutely not. (Steiner gets in his face.) Not only would I never reward you for this crap, but after what you have done to Shawn Michaels and his friends, he has gotten a special restraining order. A judge has ordered that, as champ, you cannot be in the ring with him, and you cannot be ringside or near him backstage.
Steiner: What the hell is this crap? You're protecting him from rematch?
Steiner: You are lucky we still employ you. You are lucky you are not in prison. We could have fired you. The judge could have barred you from being in the same city. Instead, we all let you keep your job. I went to bat for you, God knows why.
(Steiner stands there in visible rage. Finally, his shoulders slump.)
Steiner: This is not over. I can promise you that. (stalks away)
Foley: I have no doubt of that.
(As Steiner stalks to the back, Joe's music hits.)
Tenay: One angry beast has been replaced by another. Foley has no time to rest from putting out forest fires. And the show has not even started.
JR: Foley does more work off the clock in FWA than most work forces do during a normal work week.
JOE: FOLEY! I want Goldberg. Tonight!
Foley: (sighing deeply, running his hands through his hair) I can't think of anything the fans want to see more. But it will not be one on one. You will wait until no Way out for that. Tonight you will join the New Bloods in taking on BrockBerg and Matt Morgan.
Tenay: That is a major match! I doubt even our main event wants to compete with that clash of the titans.
JR: Commissioner Foley shows yet again why he is the greatest booker the world has ever seen. What a collosial clash.
Tenay: And we get the first ever one on one of Samoa Joe v Goldberg at no Way out. That's a main event in its own right.
JR: I don't know how Raw could get more explosive, but the show still hasn't even officially started.
("You think you know me...." As Joe steps back, Edge storms out to his music, not even bothering with the entrance.)
Foley: Oh for the love of....Edge I know you...
(He never gets to finish because Edge sprints the last part of the way down the ramp and spears Foley right into the ring apron.)
Edge: You son of a bitch! You don't want to give me matches? You get my spear if no one else does! I will not have us all downward spiral because you won't book me....just you.
(Edge lifts Foley and downward spirals him onto the stairs.)
JR: And as soon as we say it can't get any crazier...it does.
Tenay: And with the Commissioner taken out of commission, it seems like the chaos is abated just enough to start Raw officially.
(We cut to the Raw intro video, with "Across the Nation" by Union Underground. At the end, we return to the ring, pyros exploding. Jr starts to welcome everyone to the official start of Raw, but before he can get a sentence out, "Viva La Raza" blares over the speakers, and Los Guerreros come riding out in a Lowrider Truck. Chavo is standing in the bed and, as the truck starts rocking on its hydrolics, he does his own introduction.)
Chavo: Chicos and Chicas, bienvenidos a la Raw, en Oklahoma City. (crowd pops) Now, you all saw what just happened to poor Commissioner Foley.
Eddie: (joining him in the truck bed) Buuuuut, that means we have an opening for the highest rated segment of last week to return. (looking at Chavo, he gives his signature smirk, and the two say in unison) Los Commissionaries!
Chavo: You wanted more. You get more. Double the Latino leadership, esses. Uncle Eddie and I, we give you the matches that you don't even know you have been dreaming of.
Eddie: But we would never use this just to benefit ourselves. As you all know, JTG has challenged Chavito here for his half of the tag team title at no Way out. They want to make a name for themselves at our expense. They want to steal our titles.
Tenay: It's not even their titles. Those belts belong to the Dudleyz.
Chavo: If there's anything we can respect...it's someone trying to steal a spot, at least from someone other than us. We have been known to steal a thing or two ourselves.
Eddie: So, Cryme Tyme doesn't need to wait til no Way out. We will let them steal the show tonight. They will be in the biggest match of their career, against the amazing team of Rey Mysterio and Ultimo Dragon.
JR: That IS an amazing match!
Tenay: Thank God for Los Commissionarioes.
JR: How does their new title get longer each time it gets said? And why did you jump from critic to fan?
(The titantron comes to life, showing the backstage area. We see Foley grunting in pain as a paramedic checks him.)
Foley: OW! Watch it! That's tender!
Paramedic: I'm sorry, Mr. Foley. But I don't see anything wrong with you.
Foley: Nothing wrong? I can barely breathe! (notices the camera) Nevermind, I have business to take care of. (to the camera) Eddie, Chavo, as much as I love you guys and all of your antics, I'm not going to just let you take advantage of me getting injured and take my spot. You don't make matches, I make matches. That said, I can't deny that your match is....intriguing. But it's lacking something. It needs that....Foley audible. So, tonight, we will not have a two on two match. Instead, you will team up with Rey and Ultimo to face your rivals Cryme Tyme....and the Mexicools. And that match is now, to start off Raw. (to paramedic) Now what are you going to do about fixing me? Don't tell me there's nothing wrong with me.
Paramedic: Well, um, you are ridiculously overweight.
Foley: Oh, a comedian.... (camera cuts off)
JR: I can not envision a better start to Raw! We are in for a main event quality match to start the show.
Tenay: And we get to finish with The Man Beast Rhyno and the Big Red Machine Kane putting their titles on the line against the Two Man Power Trip! What a show.
JR: Don't go away. You don't want to miss a minute of this.
(Commercial)
(As we come back, the competitors are already in the ring.)
JR: In the 6 years I have worked for FWA we have never seen an opening match like this. This is a pay per view main event level match, and we start Raw with it.
(JTG tries to tangle with Ultimo Dragon. Though he repeatedy tried to overpower Dragon, JTG is repeatedly outclassed. With quick flips, Dragon reverses everything JTG tries. JTG rushes to tag in Shad. Despite his greater size, Dragon outmanuvers him, too.)
Tenay: And Dragon shows, yet again, why he is one of the greatest competitors in the world. No matter how big his opponent, Dragon is able to reverse anything they do. His unique style is hard for anyone to combat.
(Making it look effortless, Dragon floats around Shad, using his size against him and taking him down repeatedly. Letting the giant lift him for a slam, Dragon throws himself forward, catching Shad's head between his feet and flinging him into his own corner. Before Dragon can regain his footing, Psychosis tags himself in outside of his view. Dragon corkscrew kicks Shad as he stumbles back out, but Psychosis delivers a vicious clothesline, turning him inside out.)
JR: We may not like it, but it's good strategy. Catch Dragon off guard. Hit him before he knows what's coming.
Tenay: And let's not overlook that Psychosis is in the same league. So innovative, so hard to predict. And these two men know each other so well. They have faced off so many times that Ultimo Dragon is unlikely to catch Psychosis by surprise as he did Cryme Tyme.
JR: That means that he should have faced him toe to toe instead of taking the cheap shot.
Tenay: Don't be silly, JR. It was still good strategy, as you admitted, to get the advantage.
(Psychosis doesn't let Dragon recover, slamming him around before tagging in his partner. The Mexicools go back and forth, wearing Dragon down. As Psychosis goes for the pin, he notices Mysterio trying to urge Dragon on. Picking him up, he drags him over, and uses his hand to tag Mysterio in. Before the littler man can react, Psychosis drags him over and starts hammering at him.)
Tenay: I cannot believe Psychosis gave up that advantage.
JR: The feud between these luchadors is hot. Psychosis blames Rey for their loss to Kyo Dai at Bound For Glory. He wants to punish Rey for costing them a final victory against Tajiri.
(Despite the early assault, Rey bounds back and starts taking the fight to Psychosis. The two men trade blows, and then big moves. Dropping him, Rey looks to Eddie who starts cheering and wiggling his shoulders. Nodding, Rey lifts Psychosis for a suplex, then rolls his hips.)
JR: Are we seeing the three amigos from Rey?
Tenay: And now, it looks like we are going to see the real deal! He is tagging in his good friend Eddie, and we get to see it all over again.
(Before he can complete it, JTG runs in and attacks him as Crazy saves his partner. The two men pound away at him. Chavo runs in to save his uncle, and before we know it, bodies are flying everywhere. All 8 men ignore the tag format. Even Shad launches himself over the ropes. We end up with Cryme Tyme lifting Chavo for the G9. As JTG goes for it, Eddie rolls Shad up from behind and JTG flies over the ropes. The ref quickly counts the three and Los Guerreros music hits, celebrating up the ramp.)
JR: Despite the absolute chaos, Eddie Guerrero gets a decisive win. Los Guerreros seem to have Cryme Tyme's number.
Tenay: But with the way he did it, it's certainly not going to settle their rivalry. There's no way that Shad will view this as a real win. Eddie had to cheat to beat him.
JR: Had to? Eddie brags that cheating is essential to life. He would rather lose than win cleanly.
(Backstage, we see R-Truth in a locker room. Bobby Lashley rushes in and spears him into the lockers. Brown follows behind him.)
Alpha Male: On Friday, you will face Bobby Lashley one on one. And that match will determine who gets to set the stipulation for no Way out. Assuming you survive Smackdown, you will face your end on Sunday. No one, NO ONE survives the pounce. Period.
Back in the ring, we see the Gymini, both with mics in their hands as the music dies.
Jake: For months, we have been blamed for the attack on Road Warrior Hawk. We get it. It makes sense. We were facing them for the titles at Survivor Series. We took Hawk's shoulder pads to signal that we were taking the torch. We faced Animal and took his belts. And we have done nothing to dispel this myth until recently. We have let it ride.
Jesse: You may not like us. But anyone who has watched us knows this is not how we operate. We face our foes, head on. We destroy them when they see us coming. We break them in the ring. We don't sneak attack like cowards.
Jake: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boo all you want. But you know it's true.
Animal (over the speakers): They're booing because everybody knows you're full of crap. (The Road Warriors come to the stage to massive applause.) You are trying to get yourself back into the title picture by pretending you're victims. It's bull, and no one is buying it. You're trash.
Jesse: We expected people to not believe us. So we got the footage from the arena where your little buddy was attacked. It's not great. It looks like someone damaged it. But here.
(The titantron comes to life. We see blurry footage of what is clearly Hawk walking down a halfway, when two blurry individuals run out and assault him, one using a chair. After slamming him headfirst into the wall, they lift him into a dual move that is garbled on camera. After the two run off, vewry blurry Gymini walk up and take his pads moments later.)
Jake: See? It wasn't us. We may have stole your pads, but we didn't assault you.
Tenay: What can this mean, JR? The Gymini are innocent?
JR: It appears so, Mike. And that move looks familiar. It was too blurry to be certain, but I bet my Sooner butt that I know who the real culprits are.
(Commercial)
(We come back to see Sabin in the ring. The boos are deafening.)
Sabin: Settle down. Settle down. I know it is a great honor for you all to be in the arena with the Greatest X Division Champion of All Time. But I need to be heard.
Jr: (barely audible over the boos) Cheapest champion maybe.
Tenay: Shhh, JR. The King of X is addressing his subjects.
JR: The king of....(sputters incoherently)
Sabin: As you all are aware, Amazing Red has snuck into the title picture. I would've given the shot to someone....deserving....but the match is made. (Fans begin chanting "Red is awesome".) I mean, don't get me wrong, he's talented, though not Chris Sabin talented. But, let's be honest. We have a roster of the greatest talent in the world. Men like AJ Styles, Rey Mysterio, Tajiri, and, of course, the second greatest star after me, Alex Shelley. In a high school locker room, sure! Red is the man. But here, he'd be better placed getting us coffee.
JR: Oh, this is just blatantly disrespectful.
Tenay: Facts are ugly things, JR.
JR: Well, here, the facts are simple. Amazing Red has Chris Sabin's number. But for the interference of Alex Shelley, he would already have the title.
Sabin: So, Red will get his match on Sunday. But given the mismatch in talent...
(Shark Boy's music interrupts Sabin. He comes out taunting to the crowd, to a huge pop.)
Shark Boy: Well, Sabin, let it not be said that I downplay the man who took my title. But, I would hate for you to miss our Wrestlemania match because you have gotten...rusty. We all know you have worked out those jaw muscles quite a bit. But, as for the rest of you, well, that's been absent from display since Bound For Glory.
Tenay: How dare he! Insisting the champ is all talk.
JR: Facts are ugly things, Mike Tenay.
Tenay: Don't steal my line.
Shark Boy: Now, I hear you're unhappy about the difference in star power and prestige between the two of you. I hear you loud and clear. So, today, out of respect for your abilities, I convinced Commissioner Mick to give you a man of much larger....star power...to sharpen your skills on. When I count the one, two, three on you on Sunday, I want it to be because Red earned his win, not because you pulled a muscle from inactivity. So, tonight, we have a match with someone much larger than life. UMAGA.
(Umaga doesn't even wait for his music to hit before he flies down the ramp, Raven in tow. He dives into the ring as Sabin tries to flee and catches him by the waist of his pants. Pulling him back in, he hits a vicious back suplex followed by a running senton. A quick pin is interrupted as Umaga pulls his should up, shaking his head. Tossing him into the corner, he starts raining down blows. In desperation, Sabin hits a thumb to the eye and starts kicking away at the blinded man's legs.)
Tenay: What a dirty trick from Shark Boy.
JR: Sabin said he wanted big time, and they don't get much bigger than Umaga.
Tenay: And, yet, Sabin is holding his own. He is weakening those legs. Drop the big man to his knees, and all that size difference disappears.
(Umaga, still wincing, swings wildly, but Sabin ducks and hits a drop kick. It staggers the big man, but doesn't knock him down. Bounding off the ropes, he tries again, but the big man still stays standing. Sliding to the outside, he tries a third time, using the ropes to bound in. Still nothing. Finally, he dropkicks the knee, forcing the big man part of the way down.)
Tenay: You've got him on the ropes, Chris. Finish him.
(Sabin rushes Umaga for a low spike DDT, but as sabin leaves his feet, the momentum stops completely. Umaga is holding him a foot off the ground. Slowly, he returns to his feet, and tosses Sabin in the air, catching him in a jumping Samoan Drop.)
JR: That was an incredible counter. Stopping 200 pounds of force cold and reversing it, tossing him into the air like he was a bag of feathers. This man truly is not human.
Tenay: He might have damaged his organs with that move! Sabin is a modern marvel, but two tons of pure fat being dropped on his organs...get a paramedic!
JR: Two tons...stop, Mike. You're embarassing yourself.
(Umaga calls for Raven to give him a Kane mask. Placing it on Sabin's head, he hits a Samoan Spike. Rather than let him fall, Umaga holds Sabin up by the hair and hits two more. Instead of going for the pin, he grasps Sabin in a seated dragon sleeper. When Sabin doesn't move, the ref calls for the bell.)
Tenay: This is a travesty, JR.
JR: This is a case of "Be Careful What You Wish For, You Just Might Get It".
(As Shark Boy does his signature taunt, Raven grabs a microphone.)
Raven: Kane. What you see here is NOTHING, compared to what is coming for you. You got lucky at Bound For Glory. But at No Way Out, your luck runs cold. There will be no flukes, no last minute saves, no getting out on technicalities. At No Way Out, there will only be you and my monster Umaga and a whole lot of blood. We will lock the two of you in the Samoan Spike Pit and let the darkness decide which of your souls is black enough to prevail. One of you will walk out victorious, and one won't walk out at all. Prepare for pain. Prepare for suffering. Prepare for blood. And prepare for your last match in FWA. After sunday, the Fire Burns Out. And the Flock is hardcore once more.
JR: That certainly sounds ominous. As you just heard, ladies and gentlemen, Kane and Umaga will face off for the Hardcore Title in a Samoan Spike Match, whatever that is.
Tenay: And the X Division Title is also on the line sunday. Chris Sabin goes one on one with Amazing Red. And, as talented as he is, with Shark Boy calling the match, it will be quite a trick for him to retain his title. You know that Shark Boy will cheat him out of the belt.
JR: I know no such thing. But I DO know that we have a fans dream match as the Samoan Submission Machine, Samoa Joe faces off one on one against the legend Goldberg. That one alone is worth the price of admission.
Tenay: Tonight, we find out whether MVP will face Jeff Hardy or Godfather. Whoever wins the number one contender's match tonight goes for the United States Championship at No Way Out.
JR: Meanwhile, the man who SHOULD be holding both the US and Intercontinental titles, Rhyno, will instead put his gold on the line against the Hitman, Bret Hart. Can the Man Beast defeat the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be to retain his belt?
Tenay: And our two world titles are to be unified as WCW Champion Shawn Michaels faces off against WWF Champion Scott Hall. Stay tuned later tonight for the contract signing on this historic unification match, and learn under what rules these two men will face off one last time.
JR: No Way Out is going to be an amazing last stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. Make sure you do not miss it.
(Sylvester Turkay's music hits. As he struts out, Orlando Jordan attacks him from behind. Pummeling him, OJ follows Turkay around the ring, beating him, and using the ring surroundings to injure him, bouncing his head off of the stairs, the guardrail, and slamming him back into the rail and stairs.. After several minutes, he rolls him into the ring and begins punching away, keeping Turkay from getting to his feet as the bell rings.)
JR: You had to know Orlando Jordan was not going to fight fair. In a one on one fight, the two are not in the same league.
Tenay: That's true. As we can see here, Jordan is an amazing boxer. And Turkay has no defense to his onslaught.
JR: Would Jordan even get to throw hands like this if he hadn't already weakened Sylvester Turkay? Of course not.
Tenay: Don't be a sore loser, JR. Good tactics are good tactics.
(Continuing to hammer away for several minutes, Jordan then attacks the legs, hitting some nasty moves to keep Turkay from getting to his feet. Once Turkay has been sufficiently weakened, Jordan lifts him part way, to wrap the weakened leg around the middle rope, and then deliver a dragon whip to the other exposed leg. As Turkay writhes, Jordan grins from ear to ear, doing his signature "OJ" taunt, backwards of course.)
Tenay: As a fellow member of the male gender, that is hard to watch. That move may not only be a match ender, it may be a progeny denier.
JR: No matter how vicious the move, you give your opponent enough time to recover and you negate your advantage. Turkay has shown a remarkable ability to recover from things that would drop a normal man. I would be pressing the attack, not spending my time taunting. This is not at all wise.
(Going back, Jordan starts mocking Turkay, slapping him in the face. As he tries to pick up Sylvester, though, the bigger man lunges and spears him from the ground. Both on the mat, he ground and pounds his boxer opponent. An attempted submission lets Jordan get the ropes, but Sylvester lifts him for a suplex, only to have his leg crumple mid move.)
Tenay: Too much damage has been done to the leg for him to pull off those big devastating moves we are used to. Jordan may have saved himself and taken the fight right out of Turkay. All the ability in the world doesn't matter if you can't use it.
(Taking advantage, Jordan presses the attack again, hammering away. Even a kneeling snap DDT doesn't keep Turkay down, so he hits the Blackout. He winds up for the Orlando Hurricane as Turkay starts to crawl upwards. Using all his strength, Turkay fights free and pushes Jordan into the ropes. Running back with a haymaker, Turkay's leg buckles and he drops beneath it, but he uses all of his strength to catch Jordan as he spins into an overhead side suplex, dropping the boxer right onto his neck.)
JR: Good lord! That has to be it. He has nothing but fumes in the tank, and I think Jordan needs a paramedic. He might be crippled after that.
(Stumbling over, Turkay puts his good knee in Jordan's neck and pulls both of his arms around the leg to torque his spine. Within seconds, Jordan is screaming out his surrender as he cannot tap.)
Tenay: What a vicious ending to a nasty, mean spirited match. If two superstars are removed from the roster tonight...
(Angle's music hits, cutting off Tenay. He doesn't even wait for the music to fade, starting talking immediately.)
Angle: I am sick and tired of you coming out and trying to take from me, week in and week out. You want to injure my tag team. You want to break my side kicks. You want to steal the spotlight. And I am not having any more of it.
Turkay: It is...amazing...that you want... to start the fight...and then...
Angle: Shut the hell up, you second rate nobody. The Olympic Hero did not tell you it was your turn to speak. It is time for me to take from you. On Sunday, I am going to get rid of your little buddy, Elijah Burke, once and for all. But we don't have to wait for Sunday for me to take something from you. I'll see you on Smackdown.
JR: That sure as hell sounds ominous.
Tenay: I would not want to be on the Gold Medalist's dark side. If he says he plans to hurt you, you should prepare for pain. I do not envy Sylvester Turkay right now.
(We go backstage where Leticia Cline is about to interview Eugene when William Regal walks up.)
Regal: Listen here, you miserable little toe rag, I cannot believe they are actually about to let you take up valuable screen time which could go to people who actually deserve it. As if you, of all cretins, deserve an interview with Ms. Cline.
Eugene: (as she tries to interject) Mr. Regal. Do you want to be my friend?
Regal: (clearly taken aback, as is Cline) I'm sorry, what?
Eugene: My mom always told me, that when someone else is mean, it is because they are lonely. And they need friends. I feel bad for you and I will be your friend if you want. That way you don't have to be mean anymore.
Regal: (sputtering) Of course I don't want to be...You feel sorry for me? I....I....(his face slowly changes, and an evil grin emerges) Oh, wait. Yes, yes, of course you are right. Friends sounds like a very good idea indeed. And if there's one thing friends get each other, it's presents. So, on Smackdown, I will have quite the present for you. If you will excuse me, I must go get it ready.
(As he leaves, Eugene turns to Cline.)
Eugene: See? I told you it would work.
Cline: Um, Eugene, I don't actually think...
Eugene: Now, he won't need to do bad things to people anymore. My mom was right. I'm so glad I listened to her.
(We go back to the ring, where Foley is sitting at a table, with Hall and Michaels on either side, glaring daggers at each other.)
Foley: As any FWA fan knows, for six months, the Elite and the nWo have almost torn down the house with their blood feud. Dozens of wrestlers have been hospitalized, several permanently removed from the ring due to serious injury. Millions of dollars of property damage. Like a roaring inferno, this battle has been unable to be controlled or contained. It has left no one in FWA unaffected. It has left no one in FWA untouched. This modern day Hatfield and McCoy nonsense has directly or indirectly injured every superstar, every manager, every FWA employee, every vendor, every guest, and, indeed, has reached into hundreds of millions of households world wide, leaving forever its mark.
Enough is enough. FWA will not continue to be held hostage. Through the fighting, one man of the nWO, and one man of the Elite have risen above and have captured our two world titles, the WWF and WCW titles. As world champions, each man will represent the nWo and Elite as their de facto leaders. And, leading into Wrestlemania, we will end this destructive feud once and for all. Winner take all. We will unify the two titles, and decide which faction reigns supreme, to defend the unified World Title against RVD at Wrestlemania. For once and for all, this will be settled. And tonight, both men will sign the contract putting their claim to Wrestlemania on the line. BOTH men will do this, if they want to keep their jobs, and we will let each have their say.
(Scott Hall moves forward first at Mick Foley's gesture. As he prepares to sign, he grabs a microphone.)
Hall: I may not like you Shawn. I want to do things to you that should not be discussed on television. But, I do respect you. We are the fathers of modern wrestling. We created the ladder match. We revolutionized tag team wrestling. We made the idea of a stable. Survivor Series, the 5 on 5 elimination match, was our brain child. There has never been anything in wrestling like Shawn Michaels vs Scott Hall, and there never will be. We are wrestling. We are innovation. Even after we split ways, every single thing in wrestling traces back to us.
One more time, ONE more time, you and I will go to war. One more time, we will tear the arena down as we make history. Decades in the future, the boys in back will look to no Way out, will look to our final battle as the standard. It will be what every aspiring wrestler looks to achieve, but never can. One last time, we will set the bar. And when you fall short, as you always have, Shawn, just remember, there is nothing wrong with being the second greatest of all time.
(He signs, sneering at Shawn as he delivers his trademark bad guy pose. Michaels snatches the mic out of his hands.)
HBK: I do not share your nostalgia. For decades, I have stopped shows around the globe. I have created the most memorable moments in wrestling history. Shawn Michaels is Mr. Wrestlemania for a reason: I had more big moments at Wrestlemania than any other 10 wrestlers had in their entire careers. Yet, my entire career, people keep comparing me to a half rate fake Scarface, merely because I carried him to more great matches than anyone else. What matches do you have outside our rivalry than are remembered as amazing Scott? I struggle to think of any. Our matches were great because of me. And I will show that once more at no Way out when I finally shut your stupid fat mouth, once and for all.
(He signs as Hall grabs the microphone back. He leans in close.)
Hall: If you wish to comfort yourself with that lie, don't let me stop you. But last time I checked, in those matches where you "Carried me", I won almost all of them. What is our record again? Me 15, you 4?
(Before Michaels can respond, the titantron kicks to life and we see Steiner at a park.)
Steiner: Hey, Shawn boy. You think you're slick. You think you're smart. You said I can't be around you. But, hey, jackass, you kinda forgot a major detail, yeah? You never even once thought about your kids in your little order. Oops. (camera pans) That's your son right?
(On screen, as Michaels objects, we see Steiner approach Michaels' son on a baseball field. As he calls out to him, and the boy turns, Steiner charges, and spears the boy into the backstop. Numerous officials try to stop him, only to get pummeled. Steiner hits a Pump Handle Steiner Slam right onto home plate.)
Steiner: How's that? Feel like dad of the year yet? And just think, you have a wife, other kids. You can keep playing games, and let your family pay the price...
(While Michaels is distracted by the screen, hall has grabbed a piece of fencing. He spins HBK and smashes it into his face. Tossing it down onto Michaels, Hall grabs the mic again.)
Hall: Like Star Trek, it's time for us to find a final frontier. For those fans who think there's nowhere left for us to boldly go, we will surprise you again, and change the wrestling world one last time. At no Way out, the Bad guy will defeat the Heartbreak Kid in a match they have yet to revolutionize: a steel cage match. No pinfalls, no wussy door. Just like the bad old days, only ecape over the top counts. See you Sunday, Shawn. (He throws the clipboard onto Michaels' chest.) And, this time, when you lose your smile, it'll be because I knocked out all your teeth, pretty boy.
(Commercial)
(We return to AJ Styles and Jericho in the ring about to lock up. Before the two men can get started, however, Senshi's music hits. He storms down to the ring. Both men look at him in confusion and AJ approaches. Without warning, he hits a spinning enseguri, then a running dropkick into the corner. Jericho doesn't get up a defense before Senshi does the same to him.)
Senshi: It seems that my brief suspension has made everyone forget exactly who I am. Let me fix that.
(He quickly climbs the ropes and hits a Way of the Warrior on each man, before punting him out of the ring. Once both men have been disposed, he speaks again.)
Senshi: It is not bad enough that I was set aside, deliberately put on the shelf by the powers that be for lesser men. Now, even as I come back, I am ignored, neglected. While Foley can throw together last minute matches no one cares about just because, he cannot find time for the True Warrior. Not a match. Not a referee spot. Not an interview. Not even a spot at the announcer's table. Nothing.
Instead, we continue to build the show around a multiple time loser who looks more like an auditioner for Jabba the Hut than a real wrestler. He failed to win the X division title in a battle royale. He got knocked out of the Royale Rumble so fast you barely knew he was in it. He failed three times to obtain the WWF Title against an old man. Now he is Goldberg's punching bag. AYet no matter how many failures he has, Foley keeps circling this broken wagon....
(Joe's music hits and he comes flying down to the ring. Senshi quickly slides out as Joe dives at him.)
JR: Senshi can talk as tough as he wants, but when given a chance to back up his words, he decides that he wants no part of the still unbeaten Samoan Submission Machine. He was allowed to put his money where his mouth was and he folded.
Tenay: Come on JR, a great warrior is a great tactician. Choosing your battlefield, the time, the place, that is 75% of the victory.
JR: Make excuses all you want, but I see a sneak and a coward who will attack Joe from behind and who runs from a fair fight. That is not a warrior under any definition.
Tenay: Since Samoa Joe is already out here, it looks like we are moving directly into the next match. The New Bloods are making their way out, and here come the ton of pure muscle that are Brockberg and Matt Morgan.
(While Joe is distracted, Morgan boots him out of the ring, he then grabs Kennedy and launches him across the ring into his corner, starting the match between them. The punishment begins as he rains blows, and devastating clotheslines, then tags in Lesnar. )
JR: Once again, Senshi's interference costs Joe, giving the starting advantage to Brock's team.
Tenay: If Samoa Joe is so easily distracted from what matters, JR, then maybe Senshi has a point about where he truly stands as a competitor.
JR: It is easy to say that from the spectator seats, but turning a blind eye to any enemy, especially one with educated legs like Senshi, is a fool's errand. When that enemy is ringside, you have to be ever vigilant towards them.
Tenay: But if you focus all your attention on the outside threat, while ignoring the one right in front of you, as Joe did, you face the very same problem. Ignore either man, and Senshi wins.
JR: Fair point.
(Lesnar drags Kennedy towards Joe's corner. When they get close he launches him back into his own corner with an over head suplex. He repeats this manuever several times, taunting the other side. After weakening Kennedy for several minutes, he tags in Goldberg. The fresh man launches his own offense for a brutal two minutes before hitting a vicious spear. Before Kennedy's teammates can get in, he lifts his shoulder and drags him back to his corner tagging in Morgan again. The three men continue to triple team him.)
Tenay: This is certainly not how the New Bloods and Joe envisioned this match going, Kennedy least of all. No one would want to be on the receiving end of the beating he is getting.
JR: Three on one is never good odds, no matter what. But when it is three of the strongest and most vicious men to ever step in a ring, things look pretty bleak for the one. Mr. Kennedy has got to make a tag or it may be more than the match he looks at losing.
(After an eternity of beating, Goldberg drags Kennedy to Joe's corner. He holds him right out of tag reach, taunting Joe, but Batista manages to tag himself in. Berg drops Kennedy just in time to get a flying shoulder from Batista launching himself over the ropes. Driving Goldberg into the corner, he delivers massive shoulder thrusts to the streak's gut. )
JR: Business has just picked up. All that pent up aggression from watching helplessly as his partner got curb stomped has energized the Animal.
Tenay: If one didn't know better, JR, they might think you were rooting for the New Bloods.
JR: No, sir. But there is no wrong time to see a man get his just deserts. While I would normally root for these two to tear themselves apart and let the fans alone win, we still have Joe in the mix. Speaking of, Batista goes to tag him in, and "The Streak" wants no part of him. He scurries away like a scalded dog to his corner.
Tenay: You make it sound so bad, JR. He is merely regrouping, and letting the fresh man in. He was caught by surprise by that tag after all. Better to let Morgan, who is ready, take the helms.
JR: Somehow there was no concern for "surprising" Ken Kennedy for nearly ten minutes.
Tenay: Sometimes, JR, I just think you have a chip on your shoulder against all the men who are the embodiment of physical perfection that you always wanted to be. You are siding with Kennedy, despite hating him, just because he is the underdog....just like you.
JR: That is more manure than they have on a farm.
(Morgan steps over the ropes. After a few minutes of glaring, the two monsters begin throwing hands, each shrugging off the other's blows to land one of his own. Morgan uses his bigger frame to whip Batista, but is reversed right into a nasty kick to the head from Joe on the outside. This allows Batista to spear him. Batista does his signature rope taunt, but, as he goes for the Batista Bomb, Lesnar dives off of the top rop with a drop kick, taking him out of the ring. Joe tags himself in as he flies out. The fans erupt.)
JR: And the fans get what they have been waiting for all night. "Joe is Gonna Kill You" chants are filling the arena.
Tenay: And Lesnar makes the mistake of letting Joe get the first blow in. He is rocked, as Joe is just not stopping. Joe gets the running back elbow in the corner, followed by that nasty enseguri he does. And now the face wash!
(As Joe rebounds for the final kick to the face, the legal man hits the Carbon Footprint. He climbs up top for a diving clothesline, but Joe simply walks out of the way, regaining his wits, as the fans go wild. Goldberg takes advantage of his cobwebs to toss him out, where he is immediately distracted by Senshi. The two begin raining blows on each other. Morgan tags Goldberg officially and goes to help hold Joe back. As he struggles to get back in the ring, Goldberg grabs Kennedy and lifts him into the Muscle Buster, mocking Joe. He goes for the pin, and Lesnar keeps Batista from breaking it up.)
Tenay: And once again, might makes right. The best men won, as I think everyone knew they would.
JR: With a little help from the illegal fourth man. The fans are getting what they want though as he breaks free and takes out Morgan. Senshi is running for the hills, and as he slides into the ring, BrockBerg have apparently decided that they want nothing more to do with him. The arena got real yellow, real quick.
Tenay: They already won, JR, what else do these men have to prove?
JR: Oh, stop, Tenay. Four on one and they suddenly have an issue fighting.
Tenay: Of course, JR. That is what that final bell signifies after all.
JR: Oh for the love of Pete....wait, ladies and gentlemen, we have been told we have a disturbance backstage...We go live now.
(MVP is standing over Jeff Hardy, belt in hand, blood dripping from it, screaming at him. As officials try to restrain him, he spits on Hardy, and throws the belt down on him.)
MVP: What now, punk? What now? You don't look so big on the ground, now do you? I don't hear you running your mouth now that I busted you in it. I'm the champ, kid, a straight up balla. You're some clown wearing neon panty hose on his arms and claiming it makes him an enigma. It makes me question you all right, and why you think you're in my league. Talk some more smack down, get in my face again, I dare you.
(Commissioner Foley comes up.)
Foley: Well, MVP, I have warned you time and time again. I see you effectively cancelled our number one contender's match tonight, attacking Jeff backstage.
MVP: Man, wait, this isn't what it looks like. I didn't start...
Foley: Save it. If this had happened in the ring, the ref would have called a DQ, and you would have chosen your opponent for no Way out.
MVP: Man, I'm not trying to face...
Foley: But that wouldn't really be fair either, as Godfather wouldn't have lost, and would be deprived by your attack. So, I couldn't let that stand, you deliberately cutting him out of the picture. So, I'd have to add him to.
MVP: Hey, wait. I don't...
Foley: I see no reason why you doing this backstage, as opposed to in the ring, should change my decision. At no Way out, you will face BOTH Godfather and Jeff Hardy in a triple threat for the belt. (MVP stammers.) If you want to be champion, you are going to defend that belt. And if you do anything, ANYTHING at nWo to cheat these men out of their shot, I will tear that belt from your hands myself so hard that it will rip your name right out of the record book. Any interference from the Pride, any use of a weapon, and you will lose your title.
MVP: Man, there aren't even DQs in a triple threat.
Foley: There are now, and just for you. Oh, and MVP (he leans in close giving him a gap toothed grin), HAVE A NICE DAY.
MVP: (yelling as he walks away) Foley! Foley you can't do this! This is some bull..
(Commercial)
(We come back to the Two Man Power Trip sitting right outside the curtains, waiting for their music to hit, when Leticia Cline walks up.)
Cline: Triple H, Stone Cold, do either of you have any thoughts about what has transpired tonight with your team mate, Shawn Michaels?
Stone: I think we can all say we are getting damned tired of that dumb sumbitch, Scott Steiner. Next time I see him, I will stomp a mudhole in him and walk it dry. I will give him the same treatment he gave Chyna, but I won't stop at his damned nose.
Triple H: First, he throws Shawn out the window at the hotel. Then he attacks him at the hospital. Then he takes out Chyna, breaks her nose. Now, he goes after his son? Scott Steiner, you are a coward. You want a fight? You got one. If you have the balls to go toe to toe with a man, instead of a child, you will find that the Game is ready to be played. Shawn has his hands full with your little buddy on Sunday, but my dance card is all open. I will give your worthless ass everything you deserve, a world of pain, when I intimitely introduce you to my sledgehammer.
(Their music plays, and they turn towards the arena, where Rhyno and Kane already await.)
JR: These men are fighting mad, as angry as a Mongoose in a Cobra Pit. They want a war tonight, and by God, a war they will get.
Tenay: Their opponents are nothing to overlook, though. Kane and Rhyno are not just the Intercontinental and Hardcore Champions, they are two natural disasters in human form. The Two Man Power Trip will have to use all that anger if they hope to win the belts tonight. Yet I would not want to be Kane and Rhyno either, two men who have never teamed together, and who have everything on the line, against the well oiled and very angry team of Hunter and Steve Austin.
JR: And I am not sure it was at all wise to call out Scott Steiner tonight. Not only does their focus need to be here and now, but the last thing they need is having even more obsticles to overcome. Let's hope that declaration of war does not come back to bite them in the collective backside.
(The two men slide into the ring and immediately launch into Kane and Rhyno. The challengers drive the champs into different corners and pound away. They try to whip the champs into each other, but, at the last second, Kane and Rhyno reverse, sending the Two Man Power Trip into each other. As they stumble back, both Kane and Rhyno toss them across the ring.)
JR: All that sound and fury, signifying nothing. Austin and Helmsley may have come out with the force of a tornado, but they smashed into a rock wall with the champions. That momentum stopped cold.
Tenay: But that sound does not signify nothing. It is the bell starting the match, and it seems Rhyno is going to start off for his team. Since he is launching HHH with suplexes, it seems he has chosen for his opponents as well. A reminder for those at home: both belts are on the line. If either champion is pinned, his belt goes to the man who pins him, but the other title goes to the other member of the Power Trip. This gives the Champions incentive to help each other and not get distracted.
(After numerous Suplexes, Rhyno hits a devastating AA Spinebuster, followed by a turnbuckle bomb. He tags Austin with HHH's hand, and then pulls him roughly over the ropes and into the ring. Clotheslines take him down repeatedly, allowing a nasty piledriver. Falling into a heap in Rhyno's corner, Austin allows the Man Beast to mock him, using his own meudhole stomping, complete with middle fingers at the end, against him. Rhyno asks if Kane wants in, and the tag is enthusiastically made. Kane continues the beating. )
Jr: Despite the early attack, Kane and Rhyno are dominating the Two Man Power Trip. This match is not going the way that Triple H and Stone Cold expected.
(Kane lifts Austin in an overhead choke, and holds it until the ref counts 4. Dropping Austin, he dominates him. However, an unseen tag lets HHH slide in to take Kane out from behind. Attacking his legs, HHH keeps him off his feet, and then hits a facebuster on his knee then a DDT.He tries to lock in a sleeper, but Kane stands up and launches him into the ropes. He rebounds into Kane, who grabs him for a chokeslam. Before it can be hit, Austin rushes in and goes for the stunner. Kane catches him, but has to release HHH, which allows the two men to start double teaming him. As the count starts, with the ref trying to stop them, the arena goes dark and fills with sirens. "Holla if ya hear meeeee....." As it fades into the nWo music, both Steiner and Hart come out in the black and white.)
Tenay: Everyone expected Steiner. The Elite calling him out all but guaranteed his appearance. But Bret Hart is a step above what we expected. It's almost like...
(Both HHH and Rhyno rush the nWo team. The four men brawl until Foley comes out.)
Foley: I am so tired of having matches ruined by nWo interference. We are going to (Kane approaches Foley and whispers in his ear.) Really? (Rhyno approaches and another discussion is had.) Ladies and gentlemen, by the request of the champions, tonight's tag team match is now a three way. We will have Kane and Rhyno defending their titles against the Two Man Power Trip...and Scott Steiner and Bret Hart. The match will restart with the ringing of the bell. Be grateful the champs want a fight, it's why you still have a job.
(Commercial)
(As we come back, Steiner has HHH on the mat, punding away. He locks in a dragon sleeper, forcing HHH to writhe in agony as he reaches for the ropes. Using the four count, Steiner tags in Hart and the two men pick apart the Game. After several minutes of this, Hart launches HHH into the ropes, but misses Rhyno tagging himself in. After Hart drops Hunter, he turns into Rhyno diving in over the top with a flying shoulder block.)
JR: And we don't have to wait until Sunday! We can watch these two get it on right here, right now.
Tenay: As JR loves to say, business has just picked up. And the timing could not be any better for Triple H. Tonight has clearly not gone down as the Cerebral Assassin envisioned. This unexpected tag gives him the breathing room to recover.
JR: I'm sure he has no objection to letting Hart take the beating going on now. No one wants to be on the receiving end of what Rhyno is dishing out. Hart may have the buyers remorse for getting involved.
(Rhyno is stomping away as Steiner comes and attacks him. Immediately, Rhyno stops his assault and clubs Scott off the apron, before going right back to Hart. He hits a couple nasty suplexes and sets up the Gore. As he runs for it, Steiner slides in and punts him in the head. As he is stunned, Steiner hits a spinning Belly to Belly, rolling into his signature push up taunts.)
Tenay: And Steiner says "An eye for an eye". He will repay with furious vengeance Rhyno's unprovoked attack on him.
JR: Hooey, Steiner struck first. But he IS taking the fight to Rhyno.
Tenay: But he is not content to stop at Rhyno. It was not Rhyno that called him out after all. He pulls Austin in, and now Triple H, and he is going back and forth beating the tar out of both of them.
JR: And Kane is on the apron going insane. He says he wants some, too.
(Steiner sees and says "Really?". He pulls Rhyno over to his corner and dares Kane to tag in. Kane happily obliges. The two men stand toe to toe for a minute screaming in each others faces, then the punches start flying. Steiner tries to suplex the Big Red Machine, but he clubs Steiner to the ground. A running big boot takes him out of the ring and Kane follows.)
JR: It seems Steiner has finally bitten off more than he can chew. Kane is giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Tenay: But Hart is still technically the legal man, and the Elite are all too happy to take it to him.
(Though the weakened Hart holds his own at first, the two on one is quickly too much. Though he manages to push HHH over the ropes, Stone Cold hits a double stunner to take him out. Before he can get the pin, however, Rhyno appears out of nowhere and Gores him, almost cutting him in half. With bodies lying everywhere, the ref quickly counts the three.)
JR: And the champs retain, against all odds! What a trememndous victory for Rhyno!
(As Rhyno celebrates, Bret Hart comes up behind him and takes a chair to the back of his leg. As he drops, Hart smashes him repeatedly with the steel. Locking it around his knee, the Hitman locks in a modified hardcore Sharpshooter. Rhyno screams in agony and taps, to no avail. The Elite try to get involved, but Steiner has slide back into the ring and clotheslines both men down. Going back and forth, he man handles both members of the Two Man Power Trip. Hitting a standing Frankensteiner on both, he tells Hart "Call em out. Let's hurt these pricks.")
Jr: Good lord, the nWo never cared if they won. They were never looking to win tonight. This was all about sending a message. Breaking their opposition before no Way out.
Tenay: And it's getting worse. Here come the rest of the wolves. Hogan, Hall, Nash, the Big Show, and Mankind are coming to the ring. It is looking bleak.
(Steiner slides out of the ring and goes for a weapon under the ring. All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the crowd onto the barricade. Running along it, he dives onto Steiner. Stunned, but not defeated Steiner faces his foe, chair in his hand.)
JR: It's HBK! Shawn Michaels has come to even the odds. He can't stand by and watch his friends get destroyed.
Tenay: But will he regret playing the hero?
(Steiner swings for the fences, but Michaels rolls out of the way, and superkicks the chair right into his face. Getting onto the announce table, he hits the leap of faith onto Steiner, before sliding into the ring to protect his stable mates.)
Tenay: He certainly got the drop on Steiner. Although, I dont know what that means for his restraining order. But now, he's one man in the ring surrounded by 6 very VERY dangerous men with violence on their minds.
JR: But he has three of the baddest men in the FWA with him.
Tenay: All three of those men are down or badly injured. The nWo are fresh and ready to draw blood. This cannot end well.
(The nWo rush the ring. Michaels fends off Show, even with his size, but that allows the rest to surround him. Within seconds, they are all taking turns hitting their signature and finisher moves on him. As Hall sizes him up for the Outsider's Edge,RVD's music hits. Dropping him, Hall turns to the ramp.)
JR: OH MY GOD! The Royale Rumble winner, the number one contender for Wrestlemania finally makes his presence felt in the title scene.
Tenay: But he is still one man, one man against an army.
(Rvd stops at the top of the ramp and holds up one finger. Calling for his music to be cut, he points back to the entrance. "If you smelllllll, what the Rock is cooking" blares, and the fans go wild as the Rock comes to join RVD on the stage. Acknowledging the crowd, Rock nods to RVD and the two men race to the ring.)
JR: It can't get any bigger than this! Two of the biggest names in our industry today are teaming to take on the nWo!
Tenay: And they are cleaning house! Rock and RVD are taking it to the nWo like nothing we have ever seen. In tandem, Rock and Rvd are giving Nash and Hart the People's Open Handed chops. I cannot believe we are seeing this, but Rock is directing RVD to help him give Big Show a double Rock Bottom. And we have the People's Elbow followed with a Rolling Thunder. This is a fan's dream.
(Hogan slides up the ramp and starts giving the rest of the nWo orders. They slowly pull out all kinds of nasty weapons from beneath the ring, preparing to finish the opposition. Before they can enter the ring, the lights dim. "You think you know me." The smoke starts shooting up for the stage.)
JR: And Edge! Edge has gotten involved.
("On this day..." comes through the speakers as Hogan spins to face the entrance. Instead of coming in through the curtains, Edge jumps to the barricade by the ramp behind Hogan from the crowd. He crouches, waiting, taunting Hogan.)
Tenay: Oh, God. Turk around Hulk...or don't, just move away!
(As Hulk spins back around in confusion, Edge spears him from the barricade. Eyes wide, face full of fury, he sprints down the ramp and spears Mankind. Nash, and then Hart also get spears. Picking up Hart's chair, Edge slides in, looking insane, and starts slamming the chair on all of the ring ropes. Finally, the nWo decide that it is time to pack up and start heading out of the arena.)
JR: That is the most explosive ending we have had to Raw in it's 6 year history.
Tenay: And it's not over yet, Tenay. Look, here comes the Commissioner again.
Foley: Chaos is a terrible way to run a show, but a great inspiration for what comes next. Out of the ashes comes the Phoenix, as the myth goes. There is only one way to proceed from here. This is the main event for Thursday Night Smackdown. In what may be the biggest main event we have ever had on free TV, we will have the nWo-Hogan, Hall, Nash, and Steiner- versus the Rock, RVD, Shawn Michaels, and EDGE. You have given me lemons, and I will damn sure make some Lemonaid out of them. And we will have a special guest enforcer, Triple H.)
Tenay: I am literally in shock at what has gone down here tonight. And to think that it will happen yet again, as a sanctioned match, on Thursday...I am speechless.
JR: Ladies and Gentlemen, make sure you do not miss this. This will be the biggest show in Smackdown history. I, for one, can barely wait to see where this madness leads next...
(FWA logo)
Underwood: Ooooh, say can you...
(Holla, if you hear me! The nWo theme hits as Steiner immediately stalks down to the ring.)
JR: Oh, God. Not again.
(Steiner dashes to the ring and grabs Underwood by the neck, a mic in his hand.)
Steiner: We're not going to keep doing this. If I don't get what I want, then...
(He never gets to finish his threat. Chuck Norris spins him and hits a surprise roundhouse to Steiner's head.)
Tenay: And the American hero cannot take anymore! He will not stand by and watch Steiner assault an innocent woman!
JR: Thank God someone is standing in the way!
(Norris punches away at Steiner, staggering him against the ropes. Before he can recover, Norris clotheslines him over. Steiner starts to stagger away, but Norris isn't done. Chasing him, he starts to pound away once more. But, Steiner quickly hits a thumb to the eye and lands a nasty spinning Suplex onto the stairs.)
JR: Good lord. This man is in his 70s. He is a national treasure. Steiner is going to break his spine for doing the right thing.
Tenay: Normally I would say that he has it coming for getting involved in something that was not his business. But it is never acceptable to hit a woman. Never. Chuck Norris was only standing for basic decency.
(As Steiner mounts Norris on the stairs, Foley's music hits. He comes running down with a mic.)
Foley: No, no, no, no. We are not doing this again. You are not going to keep coming out here and assaulting our guests.
Steiner: As the man said in Storm of the Century, give me what I want and I go away. Me. Shawn Michaels. Tonight. For the belt.
Folay: Absolutely not. (Steiner gets in his face.) Not only would I never reward you for this crap, but after what you have done to Shawn Michaels and his friends, he has gotten a special restraining order. A judge has ordered that, as champ, you cannot be in the ring with him, and you cannot be ringside or near him backstage.
Steiner: What the hell is this crap? You're protecting him from rematch?
Steiner: You are lucky we still employ you. You are lucky you are not in prison. We could have fired you. The judge could have barred you from being in the same city. Instead, we all let you keep your job. I went to bat for you, God knows why.
(Steiner stands there in visible rage. Finally, his shoulders slump.)
Steiner: This is not over. I can promise you that. (stalks away)
Foley: I have no doubt of that.
(As Steiner stalks to the back, Joe's music hits.)
Tenay: One angry beast has been replaced by another. Foley has no time to rest from putting out forest fires. And the show has not even started.
JR: Foley does more work off the clock in FWA than most work forces do during a normal work week.
JOE: FOLEY! I want Goldberg. Tonight!
Foley: (sighing deeply, running his hands through his hair) I can't think of anything the fans want to see more. But it will not be one on one. You will wait until no Way out for that. Tonight you will join the New Bloods in taking on BrockBerg and Matt Morgan.
Tenay: That is a major match! I doubt even our main event wants to compete with that clash of the titans.
JR: Commissioner Foley shows yet again why he is the greatest booker the world has ever seen. What a collosial clash.
Tenay: And we get the first ever one on one of Samoa Joe v Goldberg at no Way out. That's a main event in its own right.
JR: I don't know how Raw could get more explosive, but the show still hasn't even officially started.
("You think you know me...." As Joe steps back, Edge storms out to his music, not even bothering with the entrance.)
Foley: Oh for the love of....Edge I know you...
(He never gets to finish because Edge sprints the last part of the way down the ramp and spears Foley right into the ring apron.)
Edge: You son of a bitch! You don't want to give me matches? You get my spear if no one else does! I will not have us all downward spiral because you won't book me....just you.
(Edge lifts Foley and downward spirals him onto the stairs.)
JR: And as soon as we say it can't get any crazier...it does.
Tenay: And with the Commissioner taken out of commission, it seems like the chaos is abated just enough to start Raw officially.
(We cut to the Raw intro video, with "Across the Nation" by Union Underground. At the end, we return to the ring, pyros exploding. Jr starts to welcome everyone to the official start of Raw, but before he can get a sentence out, "Viva La Raza" blares over the speakers, and Los Guerreros come riding out in a Lowrider Truck. Chavo is standing in the bed and, as the truck starts rocking on its hydrolics, he does his own introduction.)
Chavo: Chicos and Chicas, bienvenidos a la Raw, en Oklahoma City. (crowd pops) Now, you all saw what just happened to poor Commissioner Foley.
Eddie: (joining him in the truck bed) Buuuuut, that means we have an opening for the highest rated segment of last week to return. (looking at Chavo, he gives his signature smirk, and the two say in unison) Los Commissionaries!
Chavo: You wanted more. You get more. Double the Latino leadership, esses. Uncle Eddie and I, we give you the matches that you don't even know you have been dreaming of.
Eddie: But we would never use this just to benefit ourselves. As you all know, JTG has challenged Chavito here for his half of the tag team title at no Way out. They want to make a name for themselves at our expense. They want to steal our titles.
Tenay: It's not even their titles. Those belts belong to the Dudleyz.
Chavo: If there's anything we can respect...it's someone trying to steal a spot, at least from someone other than us. We have been known to steal a thing or two ourselves.
Eddie: So, Cryme Tyme doesn't need to wait til no Way out. We will let them steal the show tonight. They will be in the biggest match of their career, against the amazing team of Rey Mysterio and Ultimo Dragon.
JR: That IS an amazing match!
Tenay: Thank God for Los Commissionarioes.
JR: How does their new title get longer each time it gets said? And why did you jump from critic to fan?
(The titantron comes to life, showing the backstage area. We see Foley grunting in pain as a paramedic checks him.)
Foley: OW! Watch it! That's tender!
Paramedic: I'm sorry, Mr. Foley. But I don't see anything wrong with you.
Foley: Nothing wrong? I can barely breathe! (notices the camera) Nevermind, I have business to take care of. (to the camera) Eddie, Chavo, as much as I love you guys and all of your antics, I'm not going to just let you take advantage of me getting injured and take my spot. You don't make matches, I make matches. That said, I can't deny that your match is....intriguing. But it's lacking something. It needs that....Foley audible. So, tonight, we will not have a two on two match. Instead, you will team up with Rey and Ultimo to face your rivals Cryme Tyme....and the Mexicools. And that match is now, to start off Raw. (to paramedic) Now what are you going to do about fixing me? Don't tell me there's nothing wrong with me.
Paramedic: Well, um, you are ridiculously overweight.
Foley: Oh, a comedian.... (camera cuts off)
JR: I can not envision a better start to Raw! We are in for a main event quality match to start the show.
Tenay: And we get to finish with The Man Beast Rhyno and the Big Red Machine Kane putting their titles on the line against the Two Man Power Trip! What a show.
JR: Don't go away. You don't want to miss a minute of this.
(Commercial)
(As we come back, the competitors are already in the ring.)
JR: In the 6 years I have worked for FWA we have never seen an opening match like this. This is a pay per view main event level match, and we start Raw with it.
(JTG tries to tangle with Ultimo Dragon. Though he repeatedy tried to overpower Dragon, JTG is repeatedly outclassed. With quick flips, Dragon reverses everything JTG tries. JTG rushes to tag in Shad. Despite his greater size, Dragon outmanuvers him, too.)
Tenay: And Dragon shows, yet again, why he is one of the greatest competitors in the world. No matter how big his opponent, Dragon is able to reverse anything they do. His unique style is hard for anyone to combat.
(Making it look effortless, Dragon floats around Shad, using his size against him and taking him down repeatedly. Letting the giant lift him for a slam, Dragon throws himself forward, catching Shad's head between his feet and flinging him into his own corner. Before Dragon can regain his footing, Psychosis tags himself in outside of his view. Dragon corkscrew kicks Shad as he stumbles back out, but Psychosis delivers a vicious clothesline, turning him inside out.)
JR: We may not like it, but it's good strategy. Catch Dragon off guard. Hit him before he knows what's coming.
Tenay: And let's not overlook that Psychosis is in the same league. So innovative, so hard to predict. And these two men know each other so well. They have faced off so many times that Ultimo Dragon is unlikely to catch Psychosis by surprise as he did Cryme Tyme.
JR: That means that he should have faced him toe to toe instead of taking the cheap shot.
Tenay: Don't be silly, JR. It was still good strategy, as you admitted, to get the advantage.
(Psychosis doesn't let Dragon recover, slamming him around before tagging in his partner. The Mexicools go back and forth, wearing Dragon down. As Psychosis goes for the pin, he notices Mysterio trying to urge Dragon on. Picking him up, he drags him over, and uses his hand to tag Mysterio in. Before the littler man can react, Psychosis drags him over and starts hammering at him.)
Tenay: I cannot believe Psychosis gave up that advantage.
JR: The feud between these luchadors is hot. Psychosis blames Rey for their loss to Kyo Dai at Bound For Glory. He wants to punish Rey for costing them a final victory against Tajiri.
(Despite the early assault, Rey bounds back and starts taking the fight to Psychosis. The two men trade blows, and then big moves. Dropping him, Rey looks to Eddie who starts cheering and wiggling his shoulders. Nodding, Rey lifts Psychosis for a suplex, then rolls his hips.)
JR: Are we seeing the three amigos from Rey?
Tenay: And now, it looks like we are going to see the real deal! He is tagging in his good friend Eddie, and we get to see it all over again.
(Before he can complete it, JTG runs in and attacks him as Crazy saves his partner. The two men pound away at him. Chavo runs in to save his uncle, and before we know it, bodies are flying everywhere. All 8 men ignore the tag format. Even Shad launches himself over the ropes. We end up with Cryme Tyme lifting Chavo for the G9. As JTG goes for it, Eddie rolls Shad up from behind and JTG flies over the ropes. The ref quickly counts the three and Los Guerreros music hits, celebrating up the ramp.)
JR: Despite the absolute chaos, Eddie Guerrero gets a decisive win. Los Guerreros seem to have Cryme Tyme's number.
Tenay: But with the way he did it, it's certainly not going to settle their rivalry. There's no way that Shad will view this as a real win. Eddie had to cheat to beat him.
JR: Had to? Eddie brags that cheating is essential to life. He would rather lose than win cleanly.
(Backstage, we see R-Truth in a locker room. Bobby Lashley rushes in and spears him into the lockers. Brown follows behind him.)
Alpha Male: On Friday, you will face Bobby Lashley one on one. And that match will determine who gets to set the stipulation for no Way out. Assuming you survive Smackdown, you will face your end on Sunday. No one, NO ONE survives the pounce. Period.
Back in the ring, we see the Gymini, both with mics in their hands as the music dies.
Jake: For months, we have been blamed for the attack on Road Warrior Hawk. We get it. It makes sense. We were facing them for the titles at Survivor Series. We took Hawk's shoulder pads to signal that we were taking the torch. We faced Animal and took his belts. And we have done nothing to dispel this myth until recently. We have let it ride.
Jesse: You may not like us. But anyone who has watched us knows this is not how we operate. We face our foes, head on. We destroy them when they see us coming. We break them in the ring. We don't sneak attack like cowards.
Jake: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boo all you want. But you know it's true.
Animal (over the speakers): They're booing because everybody knows you're full of crap. (The Road Warriors come to the stage to massive applause.) You are trying to get yourself back into the title picture by pretending you're victims. It's bull, and no one is buying it. You're trash.
Jesse: We expected people to not believe us. So we got the footage from the arena where your little buddy was attacked. It's not great. It looks like someone damaged it. But here.
(The titantron comes to life. We see blurry footage of what is clearly Hawk walking down a halfway, when two blurry individuals run out and assault him, one using a chair. After slamming him headfirst into the wall, they lift him into a dual move that is garbled on camera. After the two run off, vewry blurry Gymini walk up and take his pads moments later.)
Jake: See? It wasn't us. We may have stole your pads, but we didn't assault you.
Tenay: What can this mean, JR? The Gymini are innocent?
JR: It appears so, Mike. And that move looks familiar. It was too blurry to be certain, but I bet my Sooner butt that I know who the real culprits are.
(Commercial)
(We come back to see Sabin in the ring. The boos are deafening.)
Sabin: Settle down. Settle down. I know it is a great honor for you all to be in the arena with the Greatest X Division Champion of All Time. But I need to be heard.
Jr: (barely audible over the boos) Cheapest champion maybe.
Tenay: Shhh, JR. The King of X is addressing his subjects.
JR: The king of....(sputters incoherently)
Sabin: As you all are aware, Amazing Red has snuck into the title picture. I would've given the shot to someone....deserving....but the match is made. (Fans begin chanting "Red is awesome".) I mean, don't get me wrong, he's talented, though not Chris Sabin talented. But, let's be honest. We have a roster of the greatest talent in the world. Men like AJ Styles, Rey Mysterio, Tajiri, and, of course, the second greatest star after me, Alex Shelley. In a high school locker room, sure! Red is the man. But here, he'd be better placed getting us coffee.
JR: Oh, this is just blatantly disrespectful.
Tenay: Facts are ugly things, JR.
JR: Well, here, the facts are simple. Amazing Red has Chris Sabin's number. But for the interference of Alex Shelley, he would already have the title.
Sabin: So, Red will get his match on Sunday. But given the mismatch in talent...
(Shark Boy's music interrupts Sabin. He comes out taunting to the crowd, to a huge pop.)
Shark Boy: Well, Sabin, let it not be said that I downplay the man who took my title. But, I would hate for you to miss our Wrestlemania match because you have gotten...rusty. We all know you have worked out those jaw muscles quite a bit. But, as for the rest of you, well, that's been absent from display since Bound For Glory.
Tenay: How dare he! Insisting the champ is all talk.
JR: Facts are ugly things, Mike Tenay.
Tenay: Don't steal my line.
Shark Boy: Now, I hear you're unhappy about the difference in star power and prestige between the two of you. I hear you loud and clear. So, today, out of respect for your abilities, I convinced Commissioner Mick to give you a man of much larger....star power...to sharpen your skills on. When I count the one, two, three on you on Sunday, I want it to be because Red earned his win, not because you pulled a muscle from inactivity. So, tonight, we have a match with someone much larger than life. UMAGA.
(Umaga doesn't even wait for his music to hit before he flies down the ramp, Raven in tow. He dives into the ring as Sabin tries to flee and catches him by the waist of his pants. Pulling him back in, he hits a vicious back suplex followed by a running senton. A quick pin is interrupted as Umaga pulls his should up, shaking his head. Tossing him into the corner, he starts raining down blows. In desperation, Sabin hits a thumb to the eye and starts kicking away at the blinded man's legs.)
Tenay: What a dirty trick from Shark Boy.
JR: Sabin said he wanted big time, and they don't get much bigger than Umaga.
Tenay: And, yet, Sabin is holding his own. He is weakening those legs. Drop the big man to his knees, and all that size difference disappears.
(Umaga, still wincing, swings wildly, but Sabin ducks and hits a drop kick. It staggers the big man, but doesn't knock him down. Bounding off the ropes, he tries again, but the big man still stays standing. Sliding to the outside, he tries a third time, using the ropes to bound in. Still nothing. Finally, he dropkicks the knee, forcing the big man part of the way down.)
Tenay: You've got him on the ropes, Chris. Finish him.
(Sabin rushes Umaga for a low spike DDT, but as sabin leaves his feet, the momentum stops completely. Umaga is holding him a foot off the ground. Slowly, he returns to his feet, and tosses Sabin in the air, catching him in a jumping Samoan Drop.)
JR: That was an incredible counter. Stopping 200 pounds of force cold and reversing it, tossing him into the air like he was a bag of feathers. This man truly is not human.
Tenay: He might have damaged his organs with that move! Sabin is a modern marvel, but two tons of pure fat being dropped on his organs...get a paramedic!
JR: Two tons...stop, Mike. You're embarassing yourself.
(Umaga calls for Raven to give him a Kane mask. Placing it on Sabin's head, he hits a Samoan Spike. Rather than let him fall, Umaga holds Sabin up by the hair and hits two more. Instead of going for the pin, he grasps Sabin in a seated dragon sleeper. When Sabin doesn't move, the ref calls for the bell.)
Tenay: This is a travesty, JR.
JR: This is a case of "Be Careful What You Wish For, You Just Might Get It".
(As Shark Boy does his signature taunt, Raven grabs a microphone.)
Raven: Kane. What you see here is NOTHING, compared to what is coming for you. You got lucky at Bound For Glory. But at No Way Out, your luck runs cold. There will be no flukes, no last minute saves, no getting out on technicalities. At No Way Out, there will only be you and my monster Umaga and a whole lot of blood. We will lock the two of you in the Samoan Spike Pit and let the darkness decide which of your souls is black enough to prevail. One of you will walk out victorious, and one won't walk out at all. Prepare for pain. Prepare for suffering. Prepare for blood. And prepare for your last match in FWA. After sunday, the Fire Burns Out. And the Flock is hardcore once more.
JR: That certainly sounds ominous. As you just heard, ladies and gentlemen, Kane and Umaga will face off for the Hardcore Title in a Samoan Spike Match, whatever that is.
Tenay: And the X Division Title is also on the line sunday. Chris Sabin goes one on one with Amazing Red. And, as talented as he is, with Shark Boy calling the match, it will be quite a trick for him to retain his title. You know that Shark Boy will cheat him out of the belt.
JR: I know no such thing. But I DO know that we have a fans dream match as the Samoan Submission Machine, Samoa Joe faces off one on one against the legend Goldberg. That one alone is worth the price of admission.
Tenay: Tonight, we find out whether MVP will face Jeff Hardy or Godfather. Whoever wins the number one contender's match tonight goes for the United States Championship at No Way Out.
JR: Meanwhile, the man who SHOULD be holding both the US and Intercontinental titles, Rhyno, will instead put his gold on the line against the Hitman, Bret Hart. Can the Man Beast defeat the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be to retain his belt?
Tenay: And our two world titles are to be unified as WCW Champion Shawn Michaels faces off against WWF Champion Scott Hall. Stay tuned later tonight for the contract signing on this historic unification match, and learn under what rules these two men will face off one last time.
JR: No Way Out is going to be an amazing last stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. Make sure you do not miss it.
(Sylvester Turkay's music hits. As he struts out, Orlando Jordan attacks him from behind. Pummeling him, OJ follows Turkay around the ring, beating him, and using the ring surroundings to injure him, bouncing his head off of the stairs, the guardrail, and slamming him back into the rail and stairs.. After several minutes, he rolls him into the ring and begins punching away, keeping Turkay from getting to his feet as the bell rings.)
JR: You had to know Orlando Jordan was not going to fight fair. In a one on one fight, the two are not in the same league.
Tenay: That's true. As we can see here, Jordan is an amazing boxer. And Turkay has no defense to his onslaught.
JR: Would Jordan even get to throw hands like this if he hadn't already weakened Sylvester Turkay? Of course not.
Tenay: Don't be a sore loser, JR. Good tactics are good tactics.
(Continuing to hammer away for several minutes, Jordan then attacks the legs, hitting some nasty moves to keep Turkay from getting to his feet. Once Turkay has been sufficiently weakened, Jordan lifts him part way, to wrap the weakened leg around the middle rope, and then deliver a dragon whip to the other exposed leg. As Turkay writhes, Jordan grins from ear to ear, doing his signature "OJ" taunt, backwards of course.)
Tenay: As a fellow member of the male gender, that is hard to watch. That move may not only be a match ender, it may be a progeny denier.
JR: No matter how vicious the move, you give your opponent enough time to recover and you negate your advantage. Turkay has shown a remarkable ability to recover from things that would drop a normal man. I would be pressing the attack, not spending my time taunting. This is not at all wise.
(Going back, Jordan starts mocking Turkay, slapping him in the face. As he tries to pick up Sylvester, though, the bigger man lunges and spears him from the ground. Both on the mat, he ground and pounds his boxer opponent. An attempted submission lets Jordan get the ropes, but Sylvester lifts him for a suplex, only to have his leg crumple mid move.)
Tenay: Too much damage has been done to the leg for him to pull off those big devastating moves we are used to. Jordan may have saved himself and taken the fight right out of Turkay. All the ability in the world doesn't matter if you can't use it.
(Taking advantage, Jordan presses the attack again, hammering away. Even a kneeling snap DDT doesn't keep Turkay down, so he hits the Blackout. He winds up for the Orlando Hurricane as Turkay starts to crawl upwards. Using all his strength, Turkay fights free and pushes Jordan into the ropes. Running back with a haymaker, Turkay's leg buckles and he drops beneath it, but he uses all of his strength to catch Jordan as he spins into an overhead side suplex, dropping the boxer right onto his neck.)
JR: Good lord! That has to be it. He has nothing but fumes in the tank, and I think Jordan needs a paramedic. He might be crippled after that.
(Stumbling over, Turkay puts his good knee in Jordan's neck and pulls both of his arms around the leg to torque his spine. Within seconds, Jordan is screaming out his surrender as he cannot tap.)
Tenay: What a vicious ending to a nasty, mean spirited match. If two superstars are removed from the roster tonight...
(Angle's music hits, cutting off Tenay. He doesn't even wait for the music to fade, starting talking immediately.)
Angle: I am sick and tired of you coming out and trying to take from me, week in and week out. You want to injure my tag team. You want to break my side kicks. You want to steal the spotlight. And I am not having any more of it.
Turkay: It is...amazing...that you want... to start the fight...and then...
Angle: Shut the hell up, you second rate nobody. The Olympic Hero did not tell you it was your turn to speak. It is time for me to take from you. On Sunday, I am going to get rid of your little buddy, Elijah Burke, once and for all. But we don't have to wait for Sunday for me to take something from you. I'll see you on Smackdown.
JR: That sure as hell sounds ominous.
Tenay: I would not want to be on the Gold Medalist's dark side. If he says he plans to hurt you, you should prepare for pain. I do not envy Sylvester Turkay right now.
(We go backstage where Leticia Cline is about to interview Eugene when William Regal walks up.)
Regal: Listen here, you miserable little toe rag, I cannot believe they are actually about to let you take up valuable screen time which could go to people who actually deserve it. As if you, of all cretins, deserve an interview with Ms. Cline.
Eugene: (as she tries to interject) Mr. Regal. Do you want to be my friend?
Regal: (clearly taken aback, as is Cline) I'm sorry, what?
Eugene: My mom always told me, that when someone else is mean, it is because they are lonely. And they need friends. I feel bad for you and I will be your friend if you want. That way you don't have to be mean anymore.
Regal: (sputtering) Of course I don't want to be...You feel sorry for me? I....I....(his face slowly changes, and an evil grin emerges) Oh, wait. Yes, yes, of course you are right. Friends sounds like a very good idea indeed. And if there's one thing friends get each other, it's presents. So, on Smackdown, I will have quite the present for you. If you will excuse me, I must go get it ready.
(As he leaves, Eugene turns to Cline.)
Eugene: See? I told you it would work.
Cline: Um, Eugene, I don't actually think...
Eugene: Now, he won't need to do bad things to people anymore. My mom was right. I'm so glad I listened to her.
(We go back to the ring, where Foley is sitting at a table, with Hall and Michaels on either side, glaring daggers at each other.)
Foley: As any FWA fan knows, for six months, the Elite and the nWo have almost torn down the house with their blood feud. Dozens of wrestlers have been hospitalized, several permanently removed from the ring due to serious injury. Millions of dollars of property damage. Like a roaring inferno, this battle has been unable to be controlled or contained. It has left no one in FWA unaffected. It has left no one in FWA untouched. This modern day Hatfield and McCoy nonsense has directly or indirectly injured every superstar, every manager, every FWA employee, every vendor, every guest, and, indeed, has reached into hundreds of millions of households world wide, leaving forever its mark.
Enough is enough. FWA will not continue to be held hostage. Through the fighting, one man of the nWO, and one man of the Elite have risen above and have captured our two world titles, the WWF and WCW titles. As world champions, each man will represent the nWo and Elite as their de facto leaders. And, leading into Wrestlemania, we will end this destructive feud once and for all. Winner take all. We will unify the two titles, and decide which faction reigns supreme, to defend the unified World Title against RVD at Wrestlemania. For once and for all, this will be settled. And tonight, both men will sign the contract putting their claim to Wrestlemania on the line. BOTH men will do this, if they want to keep their jobs, and we will let each have their say.
(Scott Hall moves forward first at Mick Foley's gesture. As he prepares to sign, he grabs a microphone.)
Hall: I may not like you Shawn. I want to do things to you that should not be discussed on television. But, I do respect you. We are the fathers of modern wrestling. We created the ladder match. We revolutionized tag team wrestling. We made the idea of a stable. Survivor Series, the 5 on 5 elimination match, was our brain child. There has never been anything in wrestling like Shawn Michaels vs Scott Hall, and there never will be. We are wrestling. We are innovation. Even after we split ways, every single thing in wrestling traces back to us.
One more time, ONE more time, you and I will go to war. One more time, we will tear the arena down as we make history. Decades in the future, the boys in back will look to no Way out, will look to our final battle as the standard. It will be what every aspiring wrestler looks to achieve, but never can. One last time, we will set the bar. And when you fall short, as you always have, Shawn, just remember, there is nothing wrong with being the second greatest of all time.
(He signs, sneering at Shawn as he delivers his trademark bad guy pose. Michaels snatches the mic out of his hands.)
HBK: I do not share your nostalgia. For decades, I have stopped shows around the globe. I have created the most memorable moments in wrestling history. Shawn Michaels is Mr. Wrestlemania for a reason: I had more big moments at Wrestlemania than any other 10 wrestlers had in their entire careers. Yet, my entire career, people keep comparing me to a half rate fake Scarface, merely because I carried him to more great matches than anyone else. What matches do you have outside our rivalry than are remembered as amazing Scott? I struggle to think of any. Our matches were great because of me. And I will show that once more at no Way out when I finally shut your stupid fat mouth, once and for all.
(He signs as Hall grabs the microphone back. He leans in close.)
Hall: If you wish to comfort yourself with that lie, don't let me stop you. But last time I checked, in those matches where you "Carried me", I won almost all of them. What is our record again? Me 15, you 4?
(Before Michaels can respond, the titantron kicks to life and we see Steiner at a park.)
Steiner: Hey, Shawn boy. You think you're slick. You think you're smart. You said I can't be around you. But, hey, jackass, you kinda forgot a major detail, yeah? You never even once thought about your kids in your little order. Oops. (camera pans) That's your son right?
(On screen, as Michaels objects, we see Steiner approach Michaels' son on a baseball field. As he calls out to him, and the boy turns, Steiner charges, and spears the boy into the backstop. Numerous officials try to stop him, only to get pummeled. Steiner hits a Pump Handle Steiner Slam right onto home plate.)
Steiner: How's that? Feel like dad of the year yet? And just think, you have a wife, other kids. You can keep playing games, and let your family pay the price...
(While Michaels is distracted by the screen, hall has grabbed a piece of fencing. He spins HBK and smashes it into his face. Tossing it down onto Michaels, Hall grabs the mic again.)
Hall: Like Star Trek, it's time for us to find a final frontier. For those fans who think there's nowhere left for us to boldly go, we will surprise you again, and change the wrestling world one last time. At no Way out, the Bad guy will defeat the Heartbreak Kid in a match they have yet to revolutionize: a steel cage match. No pinfalls, no wussy door. Just like the bad old days, only ecape over the top counts. See you Sunday, Shawn. (He throws the clipboard onto Michaels' chest.) And, this time, when you lose your smile, it'll be because I knocked out all your teeth, pretty boy.
(Commercial)
(We return to AJ Styles and Jericho in the ring about to lock up. Before the two men can get started, however, Senshi's music hits. He storms down to the ring. Both men look at him in confusion and AJ approaches. Without warning, he hits a spinning enseguri, then a running dropkick into the corner. Jericho doesn't get up a defense before Senshi does the same to him.)
Senshi: It seems that my brief suspension has made everyone forget exactly who I am. Let me fix that.
(He quickly climbs the ropes and hits a Way of the Warrior on each man, before punting him out of the ring. Once both men have been disposed, he speaks again.)
Senshi: It is not bad enough that I was set aside, deliberately put on the shelf by the powers that be for lesser men. Now, even as I come back, I am ignored, neglected. While Foley can throw together last minute matches no one cares about just because, he cannot find time for the True Warrior. Not a match. Not a referee spot. Not an interview. Not even a spot at the announcer's table. Nothing.
Instead, we continue to build the show around a multiple time loser who looks more like an auditioner for Jabba the Hut than a real wrestler. He failed to win the X division title in a battle royale. He got knocked out of the Royale Rumble so fast you barely knew he was in it. He failed three times to obtain the WWF Title against an old man. Now he is Goldberg's punching bag. AYet no matter how many failures he has, Foley keeps circling this broken wagon....
(Joe's music hits and he comes flying down to the ring. Senshi quickly slides out as Joe dives at him.)
JR: Senshi can talk as tough as he wants, but when given a chance to back up his words, he decides that he wants no part of the still unbeaten Samoan Submission Machine. He was allowed to put his money where his mouth was and he folded.
Tenay: Come on JR, a great warrior is a great tactician. Choosing your battlefield, the time, the place, that is 75% of the victory.
JR: Make excuses all you want, but I see a sneak and a coward who will attack Joe from behind and who runs from a fair fight. That is not a warrior under any definition.
Tenay: Since Samoa Joe is already out here, it looks like we are moving directly into the next match. The New Bloods are making their way out, and here come the ton of pure muscle that are Brockberg and Matt Morgan.
(While Joe is distracted, Morgan boots him out of the ring, he then grabs Kennedy and launches him across the ring into his corner, starting the match between them. The punishment begins as he rains blows, and devastating clotheslines, then tags in Lesnar. )
JR: Once again, Senshi's interference costs Joe, giving the starting advantage to Brock's team.
Tenay: If Samoa Joe is so easily distracted from what matters, JR, then maybe Senshi has a point about where he truly stands as a competitor.
JR: It is easy to say that from the spectator seats, but turning a blind eye to any enemy, especially one with educated legs like Senshi, is a fool's errand. When that enemy is ringside, you have to be ever vigilant towards them.
Tenay: But if you focus all your attention on the outside threat, while ignoring the one right in front of you, as Joe did, you face the very same problem. Ignore either man, and Senshi wins.
JR: Fair point.
(Lesnar drags Kennedy towards Joe's corner. When they get close he launches him back into his own corner with an over head suplex. He repeats this manuever several times, taunting the other side. After weakening Kennedy for several minutes, he tags in Goldberg. The fresh man launches his own offense for a brutal two minutes before hitting a vicious spear. Before Kennedy's teammates can get in, he lifts his shoulder and drags him back to his corner tagging in Morgan again. The three men continue to triple team him.)
Tenay: This is certainly not how the New Bloods and Joe envisioned this match going, Kennedy least of all. No one would want to be on the receiving end of the beating he is getting.
JR: Three on one is never good odds, no matter what. But when it is three of the strongest and most vicious men to ever step in a ring, things look pretty bleak for the one. Mr. Kennedy has got to make a tag or it may be more than the match he looks at losing.
(After an eternity of beating, Goldberg drags Kennedy to Joe's corner. He holds him right out of tag reach, taunting Joe, but Batista manages to tag himself in. Berg drops Kennedy just in time to get a flying shoulder from Batista launching himself over the ropes. Driving Goldberg into the corner, he delivers massive shoulder thrusts to the streak's gut. )
JR: Business has just picked up. All that pent up aggression from watching helplessly as his partner got curb stomped has energized the Animal.
Tenay: If one didn't know better, JR, they might think you were rooting for the New Bloods.
JR: No, sir. But there is no wrong time to see a man get his just deserts. While I would normally root for these two to tear themselves apart and let the fans alone win, we still have Joe in the mix. Speaking of, Batista goes to tag him in, and "The Streak" wants no part of him. He scurries away like a scalded dog to his corner.
Tenay: You make it sound so bad, JR. He is merely regrouping, and letting the fresh man in. He was caught by surprise by that tag after all. Better to let Morgan, who is ready, take the helms.
JR: Somehow there was no concern for "surprising" Ken Kennedy for nearly ten minutes.
Tenay: Sometimes, JR, I just think you have a chip on your shoulder against all the men who are the embodiment of physical perfection that you always wanted to be. You are siding with Kennedy, despite hating him, just because he is the underdog....just like you.
JR: That is more manure than they have on a farm.
(Morgan steps over the ropes. After a few minutes of glaring, the two monsters begin throwing hands, each shrugging off the other's blows to land one of his own. Morgan uses his bigger frame to whip Batista, but is reversed right into a nasty kick to the head from Joe on the outside. This allows Batista to spear him. Batista does his signature rope taunt, but, as he goes for the Batista Bomb, Lesnar dives off of the top rop with a drop kick, taking him out of the ring. Joe tags himself in as he flies out. The fans erupt.)
JR: And the fans get what they have been waiting for all night. "Joe is Gonna Kill You" chants are filling the arena.
Tenay: And Lesnar makes the mistake of letting Joe get the first blow in. He is rocked, as Joe is just not stopping. Joe gets the running back elbow in the corner, followed by that nasty enseguri he does. And now the face wash!
(As Joe rebounds for the final kick to the face, the legal man hits the Carbon Footprint. He climbs up top for a diving clothesline, but Joe simply walks out of the way, regaining his wits, as the fans go wild. Goldberg takes advantage of his cobwebs to toss him out, where he is immediately distracted by Senshi. The two begin raining blows on each other. Morgan tags Goldberg officially and goes to help hold Joe back. As he struggles to get back in the ring, Goldberg grabs Kennedy and lifts him into the Muscle Buster, mocking Joe. He goes for the pin, and Lesnar keeps Batista from breaking it up.)
Tenay: And once again, might makes right. The best men won, as I think everyone knew they would.
JR: With a little help from the illegal fourth man. The fans are getting what they want though as he breaks free and takes out Morgan. Senshi is running for the hills, and as he slides into the ring, BrockBerg have apparently decided that they want nothing more to do with him. The arena got real yellow, real quick.
Tenay: They already won, JR, what else do these men have to prove?
JR: Oh, stop, Tenay. Four on one and they suddenly have an issue fighting.
Tenay: Of course, JR. That is what that final bell signifies after all.
JR: Oh for the love of Pete....wait, ladies and gentlemen, we have been told we have a disturbance backstage...We go live now.
(MVP is standing over Jeff Hardy, belt in hand, blood dripping from it, screaming at him. As officials try to restrain him, he spits on Hardy, and throws the belt down on him.)
MVP: What now, punk? What now? You don't look so big on the ground, now do you? I don't hear you running your mouth now that I busted you in it. I'm the champ, kid, a straight up balla. You're some clown wearing neon panty hose on his arms and claiming it makes him an enigma. It makes me question you all right, and why you think you're in my league. Talk some more smack down, get in my face again, I dare you.
(Commissioner Foley comes up.)
Foley: Well, MVP, I have warned you time and time again. I see you effectively cancelled our number one contender's match tonight, attacking Jeff backstage.
MVP: Man, wait, this isn't what it looks like. I didn't start...
Foley: Save it. If this had happened in the ring, the ref would have called a DQ, and you would have chosen your opponent for no Way out.
MVP: Man, I'm not trying to face...
Foley: But that wouldn't really be fair either, as Godfather wouldn't have lost, and would be deprived by your attack. So, I couldn't let that stand, you deliberately cutting him out of the picture. So, I'd have to add him to.
MVP: Hey, wait. I don't...
Foley: I see no reason why you doing this backstage, as opposed to in the ring, should change my decision. At no Way out, you will face BOTH Godfather and Jeff Hardy in a triple threat for the belt. (MVP stammers.) If you want to be champion, you are going to defend that belt. And if you do anything, ANYTHING at nWo to cheat these men out of their shot, I will tear that belt from your hands myself so hard that it will rip your name right out of the record book. Any interference from the Pride, any use of a weapon, and you will lose your title.
MVP: Man, there aren't even DQs in a triple threat.
Foley: There are now, and just for you. Oh, and MVP (he leans in close giving him a gap toothed grin), HAVE A NICE DAY.
MVP: (yelling as he walks away) Foley! Foley you can't do this! This is some bull..
(Commercial)
(We come back to the Two Man Power Trip sitting right outside the curtains, waiting for their music to hit, when Leticia Cline walks up.)
Cline: Triple H, Stone Cold, do either of you have any thoughts about what has transpired tonight with your team mate, Shawn Michaels?
Stone: I think we can all say we are getting damned tired of that dumb sumbitch, Scott Steiner. Next time I see him, I will stomp a mudhole in him and walk it dry. I will give him the same treatment he gave Chyna, but I won't stop at his damned nose.
Triple H: First, he throws Shawn out the window at the hotel. Then he attacks him at the hospital. Then he takes out Chyna, breaks her nose. Now, he goes after his son? Scott Steiner, you are a coward. You want a fight? You got one. If you have the balls to go toe to toe with a man, instead of a child, you will find that the Game is ready to be played. Shawn has his hands full with your little buddy on Sunday, but my dance card is all open. I will give your worthless ass everything you deserve, a world of pain, when I intimitely introduce you to my sledgehammer.
(Their music plays, and they turn towards the arena, where Rhyno and Kane already await.)
JR: These men are fighting mad, as angry as a Mongoose in a Cobra Pit. They want a war tonight, and by God, a war they will get.
Tenay: Their opponents are nothing to overlook, though. Kane and Rhyno are not just the Intercontinental and Hardcore Champions, they are two natural disasters in human form. The Two Man Power Trip will have to use all that anger if they hope to win the belts tonight. Yet I would not want to be Kane and Rhyno either, two men who have never teamed together, and who have everything on the line, against the well oiled and very angry team of Hunter and Steve Austin.
JR: And I am not sure it was at all wise to call out Scott Steiner tonight. Not only does their focus need to be here and now, but the last thing they need is having even more obsticles to overcome. Let's hope that declaration of war does not come back to bite them in the collective backside.
(The two men slide into the ring and immediately launch into Kane and Rhyno. The challengers drive the champs into different corners and pound away. They try to whip the champs into each other, but, at the last second, Kane and Rhyno reverse, sending the Two Man Power Trip into each other. As they stumble back, both Kane and Rhyno toss them across the ring.)
JR: All that sound and fury, signifying nothing. Austin and Helmsley may have come out with the force of a tornado, but they smashed into a rock wall with the champions. That momentum stopped cold.
Tenay: But that sound does not signify nothing. It is the bell starting the match, and it seems Rhyno is going to start off for his team. Since he is launching HHH with suplexes, it seems he has chosen for his opponents as well. A reminder for those at home: both belts are on the line. If either champion is pinned, his belt goes to the man who pins him, but the other title goes to the other member of the Power Trip. This gives the Champions incentive to help each other and not get distracted.
(After numerous Suplexes, Rhyno hits a devastating AA Spinebuster, followed by a turnbuckle bomb. He tags Austin with HHH's hand, and then pulls him roughly over the ropes and into the ring. Clotheslines take him down repeatedly, allowing a nasty piledriver. Falling into a heap in Rhyno's corner, Austin allows the Man Beast to mock him, using his own meudhole stomping, complete with middle fingers at the end, against him. Rhyno asks if Kane wants in, and the tag is enthusiastically made. Kane continues the beating. )
Jr: Despite the early attack, Kane and Rhyno are dominating the Two Man Power Trip. This match is not going the way that Triple H and Stone Cold expected.
(Kane lifts Austin in an overhead choke, and holds it until the ref counts 4. Dropping Austin, he dominates him. However, an unseen tag lets HHH slide in to take Kane out from behind. Attacking his legs, HHH keeps him off his feet, and then hits a facebuster on his knee then a DDT.He tries to lock in a sleeper, but Kane stands up and launches him into the ropes. He rebounds into Kane, who grabs him for a chokeslam. Before it can be hit, Austin rushes in and goes for the stunner. Kane catches him, but has to release HHH, which allows the two men to start double teaming him. As the count starts, with the ref trying to stop them, the arena goes dark and fills with sirens. "Holla if ya hear meeeee....." As it fades into the nWo music, both Steiner and Hart come out in the black and white.)
Tenay: Everyone expected Steiner. The Elite calling him out all but guaranteed his appearance. But Bret Hart is a step above what we expected. It's almost like...
(Both HHH and Rhyno rush the nWo team. The four men brawl until Foley comes out.)
Foley: I am so tired of having matches ruined by nWo interference. We are going to (Kane approaches Foley and whispers in his ear.) Really? (Rhyno approaches and another discussion is had.) Ladies and gentlemen, by the request of the champions, tonight's tag team match is now a three way. We will have Kane and Rhyno defending their titles against the Two Man Power Trip...and Scott Steiner and Bret Hart. The match will restart with the ringing of the bell. Be grateful the champs want a fight, it's why you still have a job.
(Commercial)
(As we come back, Steiner has HHH on the mat, punding away. He locks in a dragon sleeper, forcing HHH to writhe in agony as he reaches for the ropes. Using the four count, Steiner tags in Hart and the two men pick apart the Game. After several minutes of this, Hart launches HHH into the ropes, but misses Rhyno tagging himself in. After Hart drops Hunter, he turns into Rhyno diving in over the top with a flying shoulder block.)
JR: And we don't have to wait until Sunday! We can watch these two get it on right here, right now.
Tenay: As JR loves to say, business has just picked up. And the timing could not be any better for Triple H. Tonight has clearly not gone down as the Cerebral Assassin envisioned. This unexpected tag gives him the breathing room to recover.
JR: I'm sure he has no objection to letting Hart take the beating going on now. No one wants to be on the receiving end of what Rhyno is dishing out. Hart may have the buyers remorse for getting involved.
(Rhyno is stomping away as Steiner comes and attacks him. Immediately, Rhyno stops his assault and clubs Scott off the apron, before going right back to Hart. He hits a couple nasty suplexes and sets up the Gore. As he runs for it, Steiner slides in and punts him in the head. As he is stunned, Steiner hits a spinning Belly to Belly, rolling into his signature push up taunts.)
Tenay: And Steiner says "An eye for an eye". He will repay with furious vengeance Rhyno's unprovoked attack on him.
JR: Hooey, Steiner struck first. But he IS taking the fight to Rhyno.
Tenay: But he is not content to stop at Rhyno. It was not Rhyno that called him out after all. He pulls Austin in, and now Triple H, and he is going back and forth beating the tar out of both of them.
JR: And Kane is on the apron going insane. He says he wants some, too.
(Steiner sees and says "Really?". He pulls Rhyno over to his corner and dares Kane to tag in. Kane happily obliges. The two men stand toe to toe for a minute screaming in each others faces, then the punches start flying. Steiner tries to suplex the Big Red Machine, but he clubs Steiner to the ground. A running big boot takes him out of the ring and Kane follows.)
JR: It seems Steiner has finally bitten off more than he can chew. Kane is giving him a taste of his own medicine.
Tenay: But Hart is still technically the legal man, and the Elite are all too happy to take it to him.
(Though the weakened Hart holds his own at first, the two on one is quickly too much. Though he manages to push HHH over the ropes, Stone Cold hits a double stunner to take him out. Before he can get the pin, however, Rhyno appears out of nowhere and Gores him, almost cutting him in half. With bodies lying everywhere, the ref quickly counts the three.)
JR: And the champs retain, against all odds! What a trememndous victory for Rhyno!
(As Rhyno celebrates, Bret Hart comes up behind him and takes a chair to the back of his leg. As he drops, Hart smashes him repeatedly with the steel. Locking it around his knee, the Hitman locks in a modified hardcore Sharpshooter. Rhyno screams in agony and taps, to no avail. The Elite try to get involved, but Steiner has slide back into the ring and clotheslines both men down. Going back and forth, he man handles both members of the Two Man Power Trip. Hitting a standing Frankensteiner on both, he tells Hart "Call em out. Let's hurt these pricks.")
Jr: Good lord, the nWo never cared if they won. They were never looking to win tonight. This was all about sending a message. Breaking their opposition before no Way out.
Tenay: And it's getting worse. Here come the rest of the wolves. Hogan, Hall, Nash, the Big Show, and Mankind are coming to the ring. It is looking bleak.
(Steiner slides out of the ring and goes for a weapon under the ring. All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the crowd onto the barricade. Running along it, he dives onto Steiner. Stunned, but not defeated Steiner faces his foe, chair in his hand.)
JR: It's HBK! Shawn Michaels has come to even the odds. He can't stand by and watch his friends get destroyed.
Tenay: But will he regret playing the hero?
(Steiner swings for the fences, but Michaels rolls out of the way, and superkicks the chair right into his face. Getting onto the announce table, he hits the leap of faith onto Steiner, before sliding into the ring to protect his stable mates.)
Tenay: He certainly got the drop on Steiner. Although, I dont know what that means for his restraining order. But now, he's one man in the ring surrounded by 6 very VERY dangerous men with violence on their minds.
JR: But he has three of the baddest men in the FWA with him.
Tenay: All three of those men are down or badly injured. The nWo are fresh and ready to draw blood. This cannot end well.
(The nWo rush the ring. Michaels fends off Show, even with his size, but that allows the rest to surround him. Within seconds, they are all taking turns hitting their signature and finisher moves on him. As Hall sizes him up for the Outsider's Edge,RVD's music hits. Dropping him, Hall turns to the ramp.)
JR: OH MY GOD! The Royale Rumble winner, the number one contender for Wrestlemania finally makes his presence felt in the title scene.
Tenay: But he is still one man, one man against an army.
(Rvd stops at the top of the ramp and holds up one finger. Calling for his music to be cut, he points back to the entrance. "If you smelllllll, what the Rock is cooking" blares, and the fans go wild as the Rock comes to join RVD on the stage. Acknowledging the crowd, Rock nods to RVD and the two men race to the ring.)
JR: It can't get any bigger than this! Two of the biggest names in our industry today are teaming to take on the nWo!
Tenay: And they are cleaning house! Rock and RVD are taking it to the nWo like nothing we have ever seen. In tandem, Rock and Rvd are giving Nash and Hart the People's Open Handed chops. I cannot believe we are seeing this, but Rock is directing RVD to help him give Big Show a double Rock Bottom. And we have the People's Elbow followed with a Rolling Thunder. This is a fan's dream.
(Hogan slides up the ramp and starts giving the rest of the nWo orders. They slowly pull out all kinds of nasty weapons from beneath the ring, preparing to finish the opposition. Before they can enter the ring, the lights dim. "You think you know me." The smoke starts shooting up for the stage.)
JR: And Edge! Edge has gotten involved.
("On this day..." comes through the speakers as Hogan spins to face the entrance. Instead of coming in through the curtains, Edge jumps to the barricade by the ramp behind Hogan from the crowd. He crouches, waiting, taunting Hogan.)
Tenay: Oh, God. Turk around Hulk...or don't, just move away!
(As Hulk spins back around in confusion, Edge spears him from the barricade. Eyes wide, face full of fury, he sprints down the ramp and spears Mankind. Nash, and then Hart also get spears. Picking up Hart's chair, Edge slides in, looking insane, and starts slamming the chair on all of the ring ropes. Finally, the nWo decide that it is time to pack up and start heading out of the arena.)
JR: That is the most explosive ending we have had to Raw in it's 6 year history.
Tenay: And it's not over yet, Tenay. Look, here comes the Commissioner again.
Foley: Chaos is a terrible way to run a show, but a great inspiration for what comes next. Out of the ashes comes the Phoenix, as the myth goes. There is only one way to proceed from here. This is the main event for Thursday Night Smackdown. In what may be the biggest main event we have ever had on free TV, we will have the nWo-Hogan, Hall, Nash, and Steiner- versus the Rock, RVD, Shawn Michaels, and EDGE. You have given me lemons, and I will damn sure make some Lemonaid out of them. And we will have a special guest enforcer, Triple H.)
Tenay: I am literally in shock at what has gone down here tonight. And to think that it will happen yet again, as a sanctioned match, on Thursday...I am speechless.
JR: Ladies and Gentlemen, make sure you do not miss this. This will be the biggest show in Smackdown history. I, for one, can barely wait to see where this madness leads next...
(FWA logo)
