P.P.V. RP MALICE | Wrestlingfigs.com WWE Figure Forums

Reasoning through Questioning
Main Eventer

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. -Plato

Joined on: Oct 8, 2005 23:36:54 GMT -5
Posts: 3,598

P.P.V. RP MALICE Feb 28, 2007 10:33:32 GMT -5

Post by Reasoning through Questioning on Feb 28, 2007 10:33:32 GMT -5

Day 3

Petey : Bark Bark ( The past couple of days have been somewhat strange.I’m not sure what Johnny has been thinking. He’s done some pretty stupid stuff since I’ve known him, but the past two days have just blown my mind. He’s been trying not to think about Ascension lately. Personally I think he’s being a ****. I know I’m just a dog and I can’t wrestle but Johnny is a big tough guy. He needs to learn how to take a beating as well as dish one out. He’s really worried he might lose. I’m not sure who he is afraid of. I don’t think he’s the best in WFWF but I know he’s the best wrestler in his match. He’s going up against a bunch of jokers. The High Horror, Chump ! Josh Dean, Chump ! Seraph, Chump! I’ve been around a long time and I’ve got a good sense of people. Johnny was born to beat the hell out of punks like the three he’s stepping in the ring against at Ascension. Why he thinks so lowly of his abilities sometimes I’m not sure. He’s been kicking ass his whole life. This is what he’s meant to do, mop the floor with those poor bastards who have the displeasure of getting in his way. Hopefully that’s what will happen. Who knows he might get killed.)

Leroy : Wuff (Get killed ? He can’t get killed. He’s The Crimson Crusader. He’s immortal. Like Highlander.)

Petey : Woof Woof ( You’re dumber than that pile of crap you just dropped in the yard aren’t ya ? He’s not immortal and Highlander is a movie. )

Leroy : Bark ( Shows what you know. Highlander is a rockumentary shot in real time.)

Petey ; Wuff( What is a rockumentary ?)

Leroy : Bark ( A documentary that rocks, duh.)

Petey : Wuff ( Believe what you want. Point being he’s been nuts. Hopefully he’ll snap out of it by Ascension. Listen to this crap. The other day he went to the bootlegger and got 2 gallons of moonshine. This is when the whole ordeal started.)

Day 1

Malice : Petey, I need to get my mind off my next match. It’s driving me crazy. I’m gonna drink till I can’t remember your name.

Petey : Bark (Well maybe you’ll puke up your liver before it shuts down completely.)

Malice : You seem like you’re the only one that gets me. That’s why I love you.

Petey : Wuff ( Well as long as you don’t try to show me how much you love me we’ll be ok. )

Malice : I’m gonna get to downin this here white lightin.

2 GALLONS LATER

Malice : Time to fight crime Wonderdog.

Petey : Wuff ( Wonderdog ? Well thanks. Now I’m almost as gay as Robin.)

Malice : Good thing your on board. You don’t want to oppose the Crimson Crusader. I’m bringin down the hammer of justice, Tonight !

Petey : Bark Bark (Yay….)

Malice : To the Crimson Cruiser. We’re headin to the city to fight terrorism.

Petey : Wuff ( Well hopefully you’ll get arrested before you hurt somebody.)

Malice : Crimson Crusader Away !!!

THE BIG CITY

Malice : Keep an eye out Petey. They are everywhere. Bearded. Smelly. Terrorists.

Petey : Wuff ( Really ? I thought those were homeless people.)

Malice : You there. Stay where you are.

Homeless guy : Who me ? Are you Jesus ? Praise God.

Malice : No. I’m the Crimson Crusader. Are you a terrorist ? If so take me to your leader.

Petey : Bark ( Take me to your leader ? Are you a superhero or an alien ?)

Malice : What’s that Wonderdog ? He is a terrorist. You can smell it.

Petey : Wuff ( No I think he just crapped his pants.)

Malice : Come clean terrorist. What is your purpose ?

Homeless guy : I love Jesus !!!

Malice : I’m not Jesus. Get in the back of the truck. I’m takin you in. We’re roundin up all you terrorist scum. Then we’re gonna interrogate at our secret lair.

Petey : Bark ( So exciting. Truck full of smelly guys. At leats they’re in the back.)

Day 3

Petey : Wuff ( That was the whole night. Kidnapping the homeless. Put em in the barn.)

Leroy : Woof (Amazing. He’s awesome.)

Petey : Bark ( Yeah. So awesome he passed out on the couch and they all left.)

Leroy : Woof ( He did it on purpose.)

Petey : Bark (Sure he did.)

Leroy : Wuff ( Well what happened next ? )

Petey : Bark (Nothing he’s still passed out on the couch. Been real noisy. Probably dreamin.)

MALICE’S DREAMWORLD

As Johnny walked through his realm of sleep he was confused and slightly scared of what he saw. Three 30 foot trolls sitting around a huge pot. Johnny quietly scurried up a tree to watch them and listen to their plans of the next meal.

Malice : Where is that voice coming from ? Who are you ?

Johnny asked the question in a hushed voice in fear of being heard by the gruesome trolls.

Malice : Hey. Who are you ? You’re freakin me out.

Narrator : How can you hear me? I just tell the story. Your not supposed to hear me.

Malice : Well I can.

Narrator : Well pretend you can’t it would make things easier.

Malice : Ok. I’ll try.

Johnny went back to concentrating on the troll conversation. They were awfully hungry and from the sound of things they craved human flesh. This scared Johnny and he jumped from the tree and tried to run away. Bam!!! A rock nailed him the back of the head and he fell flat on his face. Out cold. He awoke an hour later to discover he was tied up in a tree. Dangling from a large branch.

Malice : Could of warned me or something. Told me to duck maybe.

Narrator : I told you I’m not here. Stop talking to me. It’s your fault anyway. Your dream.

Malice : Sure, blame it on me.

Troll : Who are you talking to human ? Did that rock hittin ya make ya crazy ?

Malice : I’m talking to the narrator. Can’t ya hear him.

Troll : Nope. So shut up so we can thinks of how to eat ya.

The troll walked away and Johnny began trying to plan his escape. He tried to concentrate but all he could do was shiver in fear of how they might choose to devour him.

Malice : You know your not helping.

Narrator : Still not here. Stop talking to me. Focus on saving yourself. Maybe this dream has some meaning. Now save yourself before you become stew.

Malice : Fine. Holla at ya later.

Johnny noticed the branch creaked a bit when he lightly swung. He began to swing violently and with every swing he could feel the branch give more and more. He finally broke it and hit the ground with a loud thud. Thankfully the trolls were gone gathering more wood for the fire. Malice scurried across the ground to a rock. He rubbed the rope against the sharp edge and cut himself free. He began to run.

Narrator : Hey where ya going ? You can’t leave. Your not waking up anytime soon. Might as well stay and fight.

Malice : Fight ? They are 30 feet tall. They’ll crush me.

Narrator : They are however you see them. Maybe if you had some confidence you wouldn’t be such a ****. Go ahead run. They’ll just catch you.

Malice : They’re however I seem them huh ? Well I see giant trolls and they scare the hell out of me.

Narrator : Oh come on. Kick some troll ass. I think it’s a sign. Think of it as practice.
If you can beat giant trolls who’ll have no problem at Ascension.

Malice : You’re right. But ever since I read The Hobbit I’ve been scared of trolls.

Narrator : When did you read it ?

Malice : In highschool.

Narrator : Oh come on. So your still scared.

Malice : Oh forget it. It’s time to kick some troll ass. !!! And then after this I’ll kick some more ass at Ascension. I’ll shall conquer all.

Narrator : That’s the spirit. Go for it.

Johnny awoke to find himself on his couch. He was still dressed in the Crimson Crusader outfit. He got up, took a shower, pakced his bag and walked out the door.

Malice : Come on Petey. In the truck. Time to go.

O.O.C. : This Rp was such a bitch. I had to write this thing in a notebook. Then freakin type it at the library. Awesome time doin this. lol. Tell me what ya think. Honesty. I won't get mad. Need some feedback. Personally I'm not sure what I think I've been up all night.

Calvin
Main Eventer

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Joined on: Dec 18, 2001 15:13:21 GMT -5
Posts: 3,791

P.P.V. RP MALICE Feb 28, 2007 11:20:31 GMT -5

Post by Calvin on Feb 28, 2007 11:20:31 GMT -5

Interesting rp....I'm not sure what to say. This is a first. Having two dogs tell a story. I think there's something missing, but I'll get to that in a second.

There's one thing missing from this whole thing, and that is a setting. You never gave us an opening setting. All I see is two people talking. In which I found out were dogs....but I have no idea where these dogs are. Or what they are doing. Or anything...you need to like...tell us this. The idea of Malice drinking away his worries....is kinda different. Although I kinda didn't like the idea of him kid napping "terorrists" it was kinda interesting. You had the right idea...but I think you took it the wrong way. Kinda....stereotypical way I mean.

Ok so the dream thing I was cool. One thing I think would have put slightly more humour into it...you have the narrator talking. If you want humour added into it, why didnt you keep the narrator in narriation. Like....instead of giving the narrator dialogue...keep what he says in the bolded narration. Like, for example:

Johnny asked the question in a hushed voice in fear of being heard by the gruesome trolls.

Malice : Hey. Who are you ? You’re freakin me out.

How can you hear me? I just tell the story. Your not supposed to hear me.

Malice : Well I can.

Well pretend you can’t it would make things easier

I seem to think one this looks slightly better, and it adds in a little bit of humour too..which is what I think you were going for. I liked the idea that the narrator told him to fight his fears...and that if he can conquor that he can fight them at the PPV....which is what I think you were going for in the theme of the whole rp.

Ok now to the part I think is missing. You left this whole rp in the past tense. Like, you started off in day 3....then went to day one....back to day three...and then back to day one...or night one...where he dreamed when he passed out. What happened to day two?? You started the story...but you never finished it. I think you should have had this one be day on and two....and now have it a 3 day story. Because day 2 isn't even mentioned. And you finished in night one...I think it may have been better if you brought it back to present tense...and then ended the rp.

Overall, this was quite an interesting idea. I liked it. Just some stuff to work on, description being on....go in more depth with your setting, and ALWAYS create a setting if there is dialogue. Good luck on the PPV

Yukio Blaze
Main Eventer

WFWF Record: 58-54-03-02

Joined on: Dec 15, 2004 21:50:34 GMT -5
Posts: 4,515

P.P.V. RP MALICE Mar 1, 2007 9:49:10 GMT -5

Post by Yukio Blaze on Mar 1, 2007 9:49:10 GMT -5

The only problem I saw with this rp was that you spoke about your opponents in one line. Now I noticed that you did have computer problems and all, so your off the hook

The interaction between the dogs and narrator was good and I liked it.

Good luck Malice.

sonstuds
WF Mod

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Joined on: Jan 28, 2002 18:36:54 GMT -5
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P.P.V. RP MALICE Mar 1, 2007 22:06:37 GMT -5

Post by sonstuds on Mar 1, 2007 22:06:37 GMT -5

You don't need to talk about your opponents every roleplay. He talked about the match, I don't really see why that isn't good enough.

Honestly, this is one of those roleplays where it's just kind of one foot forward, one foot backwards. You had a lot of good ideas but it seemed you either rushed them or just didn't develop them. I mean, the narration thing was funny (BTW, Calvin's right about how formatting it that way would have been better), but the entire dream sequence was underwritten. Same thing with the first half with the dogs and Crimson Crusader bit. The ideas are there, but it never fully clicks.

Calvin pretty much nailed everything, so just try and improve on what he said.