Post by King Shocker the Monumentous on Dec 22, 2007 1:53:54 GMT -5
First of all, let me introduce our very special guest this evening...just back from a Birthday Bender on the streets of the second most dangerous city in the Mid-Atlantic states...a former WF Mod, one of King Shocker's original Sleepless Knights, and my former tag team partner in the Shock & Lock Connection...
...your buddy and mine, Hollywood Asia. He and I are here to see you through to the new year. And to liquor up Kelly Kelly, who's still just a tad underage.
On with the Bounty, shall we?
"DAMN YOU, E*TRADE!!!"
"But why call me 'The Machine' when my name is already Tommy Gunn? That's got to be the most redundant nickname since 'The Big Unit' Randy Johnson."
"Alright, so which one of you Divas wants to look under my overcoat?"
"Well, Larry, do you have anything to say to your hometown fans?"
"Yes, Jim...I'd just like to say...that Angelo Cataldi is a schmuck."
"TOTALLY BFFs!"
"I had to make another Rambo movie to pay off this jacket."
"OK, Paul, I tolerated the Urn...but if we have to carry this stone everywhere, ther's going to be an issue."
"Now that Jim Lampley's here, I'm not the highest-profile wife-beater in the room! Oh hell yeah!"
"So I'm going to do a Bronco Buster, then a sitout facebuster, and I'll keep telling the guy to 'suck it?' Doesn't that seem a little odd?"
"What the--we could seriously hurt someone with these! Honestly, who gives these things to a professional wrestler?"
"No puedo luchar muy bien, pero no te preocupes, porque estoy muy grande."
"Action figure? 'Action figure' is merely a label that society gives to an injection-molded polyvinyl chloride scale representation of a much larger entity or being. Such is the way of destrucity, for you see, only by being larger than we represent ourselves can we ever hope to right wrongs, undo injustices, towel the Arabs, and bring an end to the queering that is un-working the world of the One Warrior Nation, that is to say all of you plus myself, despite the appearance of the word 'one' in our name, which is in fact misleading..."
"...can we start over? No? Why not? Whaddya mean we haven't started yet?"
"Hey Deuce, y'know, maybe we should ditch these here belts before Bob notices they're gone..."
"Times like this, I'm glad I married a chiropractor."
"We're also willing to settle for tramps in trucks, hussies in hybrids, and MILFs in minivans."
"Maybe taking a Wrestler Management course taught by Daivari wasn't such a good idea after all."
"What the--No! Get away! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"OK, y'know what? Just
ing forget it. Tell Vince I quit."
"¡Hacemos los agujeros en dientes!"
"...is that supposed to impress me or something?"
"H--hey, c'mon, give it back!"
"OK, we'll call this one a draw. But we agree that BOTH of our dads could beat up the Rock's dad."
"Are you trying to...tell me something?"
"I think it's broken...I've been waiting for an important call for 2 years now and nothing's happened."
"After carefully reviewing your applications, we've decided that you'er really just not Ministry material. Thanks for stopping by, though."
"So anyway, Dustin had a rat...and Johnny the Bull was wearing a skirt...and get this...they seriously thought I would let them join."
"Y'know, my wife used to have one of those."
"...yep...th-that's z'actly what sh'used t'do with it...uh..."
"Now I know why they call you Deuce and Domino...because you just got dropped, and you just got knocked the hell over."
"Oh, come on, you're STILL paranoid? It's been three freaking years!"
Well folks, that's it for me for this year...remember to go here to wish my guest a Happy Belated Birthday (if you haven't already).
Here's to more figures and more Bounties in 2008!
Goodnight and Happy Holidays, my loyal subjects and Sleepless Knights!
...your buddy and mine, Hollywood Asia. He and I are here to see you through to the new year. And to liquor up Kelly Kelly, who's still just a tad underage.
On with the Bounty, shall we?
"DAMN YOU, E*TRADE!!!"
"But why call me 'The Machine' when my name is already Tommy Gunn? That's got to be the most redundant nickname since 'The Big Unit' Randy Johnson."
"Alright, so which one of you Divas wants to look under my overcoat?"
"Well, Larry, do you have anything to say to your hometown fans?"
"Yes, Jim...I'd just like to say...that Angelo Cataldi is a schmuck."
"TOTALLY BFFs!"
"I had to make another Rambo movie to pay off this jacket."
"OK, Paul, I tolerated the Urn...but if we have to carry this stone everywhere, ther's going to be an issue."
"Now that Jim Lampley's here, I'm not the highest-profile wife-beater in the room! Oh hell yeah!"
"So I'm going to do a Bronco Buster, then a sitout facebuster, and I'll keep telling the guy to 'suck it?' Doesn't that seem a little odd?"
"What the--we could seriously hurt someone with these! Honestly, who gives these things to a professional wrestler?"
"No puedo luchar muy bien, pero no te preocupes, porque estoy muy grande."
"Action figure? 'Action figure' is merely a label that society gives to an injection-molded polyvinyl chloride scale representation of a much larger entity or being. Such is the way of destrucity, for you see, only by being larger than we represent ourselves can we ever hope to right wrongs, undo injustices, towel the Arabs, and bring an end to the queering that is un-working the world of the One Warrior Nation, that is to say all of you plus myself, despite the appearance of the word 'one' in our name, which is in fact misleading..."
"...can we start over? No? Why not? Whaddya mean we haven't started yet?"
"Hey Deuce, y'know, maybe we should ditch these here belts before Bob notices they're gone..."
"Times like this, I'm glad I married a chiropractor."
"We're also willing to settle for tramps in trucks, hussies in hybrids, and MILFs in minivans."
"Maybe taking a Wrestler Management course taught by Daivari wasn't such a good idea after all."
"What the--No! Get away! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"OK, y'know what? Just
ing forget it. Tell Vince I quit.""¡Hacemos los agujeros en dientes!"
"...is that supposed to impress me or something?"
"H--hey, c'mon, give it back!"
"OK, we'll call this one a draw. But we agree that BOTH of our dads could beat up the Rock's dad."
"Are you trying to...tell me something?"
"I think it's broken...I've been waiting for an important call for 2 years now and nothing's happened."
"After carefully reviewing your applications, we've decided that you'er really just not Ministry material. Thanks for stopping by, though."
"So anyway, Dustin had a rat...and Johnny the Bull was wearing a skirt...and get this...they seriously thought I would let them join."
"Y'know, my wife used to have one of those."
"...yep...th-that's z'actly what sh'used t'do with it...uh..."
"Now I know why they call you Deuce and Domino...because you just got dropped, and you just got knocked the hell over."
"Oh, come on, you're STILL paranoid? It's been three freaking years!"
Well folks, that's it for me for this year...remember to go here to wish my guest a Happy Belated Birthday (if you haven't already).
Here's to more figures and more Bounties in 2008!
Goodnight and Happy Holidays, my loyal subjects and Sleepless Knights!
