Post by Revvie® on Aug 27, 2008 21:35:45 GMT -5
Sometimes all we have to do is close our eyes and give a little hope into what could be or could have been. Then as we imagine a reshaped humanity and a changed world, we put forth the seeds into the collective consciousness that surrounds us all. Planting the thoughts of change, thoughts of unity, and thoughts of revolution, were showing the millions that something lurks in our unconscious mind, something pure. This foundation of purity that I now lay, I shall begin to cultivate as I bring forth the rise of a new era. Not one of the greatness of this man you see before but one of the greatness of human existence. Looking past social inadequacies and look for nothing but true belief that we can be something more then we are and that all are meant to play a role in our own self salvation. God has forgotten me, left me behind as he has done to everyone. Its time we take back the gates of heaven and the only way to do this is to let loose the gates of hell and deal with our devils one at a time. Accepting our sin as purpose and breathe in contradiction, welcome to a world of total hypocrisy and a life without the existence of judgment. I give you true peace of mind through the power of perception.
<><><><>
Another shot, another memory subdued, another night of insomnia. The desk had grown thick with dust, only imprints of a bottle and a glass to serve as a sign of my self destruction. My world had crumbled; each passing day became a struggle to stay sane. After all I had dealt with; it would be nothingness that would kill me. I had overcome voices, beaten death more then once, I had been crucified. The list could go on and yet I lay in self loathing now. Maybe I am past my expiration date.
“What would make you think that?” I turned quickly to reveal something that couldn’t be real. The bottle hit the ground and, with a glass filled clash with the floor, I could feel my bones quiver.
“Wha-What are you? You’re not real; I know you’re not real.” I began closing and reopening my eyes in such repetition that I began to become dizzy and hit the ground with a thud. I was unconscious and yet I didn’t feel like I was, I was somewhere. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I felt at ease.
“You know you really shouldn’t drink, you never were much for that stuff.” The scene flipped and I was sitting across the dinner table that I use to eat at as a child. My father staring me in the face with a faint but genuine grin on his face, the air, the items, the feel of it all, I was home.
I looked down and saw a glass of water placed in front of me, “Why, where-.” To many questions clouded my thoughts all at once and I found myself at a loss, one that my father was always more then happy to fill.
“You are where all hearts belong and where all minds lie in wait to be relived, and most of all you are where the enlightened live and breathe in this world.” I looked at him quizzically and he just gave a smile like he always had. “Your home in a sense of the word that everyone is home here, here is what you wish and now is presently taking place within the here and now.”
“What the hell?”
“Sorry I had to screw with you a little; your confusion makes me a laugh always has.” Always poking fun at me when I didn’t understand, I hated that when he was alive but I found myself enjoying it now. The things we miss never ceased to amaze me. “Basically this is your world behind the curtain if that makes sense, think of it as behind the scenes of a movie. Is that simple enough for you to understand?”
I took it all in to the best of my ability, he continued for what seemed to be hours upon hours. He talked of this world, talked of our world, talked of unity, and coexistence, each topic more interesting then the last. Then as the conversation was near the end he began to talk about something more personal to my soul and that’s when I truly began to understand the nature of this beast.
“Alex Sean, you haven’t let it go yet have you. But he isn’t your biggest dilemma, you feel unfulfilled over Michael Kyzer. Your mentor and maker, oh what a screwed up mind you have dwelling in you. But to each his own of course.” He laughed a little as if mocking my ideas on life.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, your wrong as usual.” A forced and failed defense of myself and he knew it.
“Wrong am I; am I wrong about how you secretly wish to fulfill some sick satisfaction by making Kyzer some how proud of you? Or am I wrong about the fact that every time you see Alex Sean in your head, your arm begins to plague you with a wound healed. Of course there are deeper thoughts that I could bring up but that is enough for now.”
“What do you mean enough for now?”
As I studied his face he began to fade off and I awoke upon a wet booze covered floor. I don’t know why but something made sense that night. I realized something that was unspoken and that would bring forth the next phase of my existence.
<><><><>
Another shot, another memory subdued, another night of insomnia. The desk had grown thick with dust, only imprints of a bottle and a glass to serve as a sign of my self destruction. My world had crumbled; each passing day became a struggle to stay sane. After all I had dealt with; it would be nothingness that would kill me. I had overcome voices, beaten death more then once, I had been crucified. The list could go on and yet I lay in self loathing now. Maybe I am past my expiration date.
“What would make you think that?” I turned quickly to reveal something that couldn’t be real. The bottle hit the ground and, with a glass filled clash with the floor, I could feel my bones quiver.
“Wha-What are you? You’re not real; I know you’re not real.” I began closing and reopening my eyes in such repetition that I began to become dizzy and hit the ground with a thud. I was unconscious and yet I didn’t feel like I was, I was somewhere. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I felt at ease.
“You know you really shouldn’t drink, you never were much for that stuff.” The scene flipped and I was sitting across the dinner table that I use to eat at as a child. My father staring me in the face with a faint but genuine grin on his face, the air, the items, the feel of it all, I was home.
I looked down and saw a glass of water placed in front of me, “Why, where-.” To many questions clouded my thoughts all at once and I found myself at a loss, one that my father was always more then happy to fill.
“You are where all hearts belong and where all minds lie in wait to be relived, and most of all you are where the enlightened live and breathe in this world.” I looked at him quizzically and he just gave a smile like he always had. “Your home in a sense of the word that everyone is home here, here is what you wish and now is presently taking place within the here and now.”
“What the hell?”
“Sorry I had to screw with you a little; your confusion makes me a laugh always has.” Always poking fun at me when I didn’t understand, I hated that when he was alive but I found myself enjoying it now. The things we miss never ceased to amaze me. “Basically this is your world behind the curtain if that makes sense, think of it as behind the scenes of a movie. Is that simple enough for you to understand?”
I took it all in to the best of my ability, he continued for what seemed to be hours upon hours. He talked of this world, talked of our world, talked of unity, and coexistence, each topic more interesting then the last. Then as the conversation was near the end he began to talk about something more personal to my soul and that’s when I truly began to understand the nature of this beast.
“Alex Sean, you haven’t let it go yet have you. But he isn’t your biggest dilemma, you feel unfulfilled over Michael Kyzer. Your mentor and maker, oh what a screwed up mind you have dwelling in you. But to each his own of course.” He laughed a little as if mocking my ideas on life.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, your wrong as usual.” A forced and failed defense of myself and he knew it.
“Wrong am I; am I wrong about how you secretly wish to fulfill some sick satisfaction by making Kyzer some how proud of you? Or am I wrong about the fact that every time you see Alex Sean in your head, your arm begins to plague you with a wound healed. Of course there are deeper thoughts that I could bring up but that is enough for now.”
“What do you mean enough for now?”
As I studied his face he began to fade off and I awoke upon a wet booze covered floor. I don’t know why but something made sense that night. I realized something that was unspoken and that would bring forth the next phase of my existence.
