The Start Of A New Beginning RP

Chris182
Main Eventer

Joined on: Jan 3, 2007 12:15:59 GMT -5
Posts: 1,299

The Start Of A New Beginning RP Feb 16, 2007 22:42:29 GMT -5

Post by Chris182 on Feb 16, 2007 22:42:29 GMT -5

The Camera comes out directly from what looks like the inside of a Van.The van is pulling up into a a house.
About 6 camera men and 2 Sound guys are in the van.They pull up in a Driveway,and everyone stays completely scared in the van.
Camera Man # 3:Is this the right address?
Sound Guy # 1:Yep,I know it is.
Camera man # 2:Why Do you guys think we are here for.
Sound Guy #2:Why are we here anyway?
Camera Man # 1:Well I got a call last night at about 9:30ish,and this guy said he needed a crew at his house pronto. He Sounded really serious so i agreed to it. He said he was a newcomer,But That is all he said.He gave me the address and he said"You Guys Better Be Here Tomorrow". I said ok to him.
Camera Man # 5:Are you guys ready?
Camera Man # 6:Lets go.
Everyone gets there equipment and exits the van slowly, one by one.
When everyone finally gets out of the van,
they walk slowly in a line to the door.
Camera Man # 1 knocks on the door.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:What do you want!?
Camera Man # 1:It is the crew you called for last night!
The Door opens quickly.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Well, Well, Well, So you guys finally showed up.I thought it was going to be a no-show. What were you...scared or something. Did i scare you? HaHa,come, come in.
After all the men enter the house, Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez slams the door hard and the crew jumps.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:HaHa.........Now hurry and set up your s**t!
After the crew sets up everything Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez sits on the couch right in front of where the camera is set up and gets ready to start to speak.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Is it recording?
Camera Man # 1:Yea.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Hello, WFWF. My Name is Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez.
You are maybe wondering who I am or where I am at.
Well to answer your first question. I am The next BIG star of WFWF.
HaHa, I ordered these camera people and sound people to come here tonight to my house to come so i can introduce my self to all you s**t people out there!
The crew is there starring at each other stunned of the words of Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Now i don't care about all you people, you guys are the last thing on my mind. I only care about my upcoming to WFWF.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez Pauses to take a breath.

And Starts to speak again.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Ok we have already went over who I am,now to talk about my upcoming carrier to WFWF.
Now I already now, I am better than any of the guys there. just look at me, can't you tell? When i come, you will have never see anything like me. Lets see, I am Smart, I am Quick, And I am Good Looking,I mean come on ladies,look at me.
Sound Guy # 1 Laughs to him self at the remarks of Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Now.....wait who laughed?! WHO JUST LAUGHED?!
Sound Guy # 1 Raises his Hand Slowly.
Sound Guy # 1:I...I did sir...sorry.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez Gets up from the couch and goes over to the Sound Guy. All you hear is...
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:You Laughed? You Laughed at Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez?
SMACK!!!!!
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:That will teach you of laughing again!
He sits down back on the couch.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Now...as i was saying!
You people don't believe what I'm saying? Just ask this dumb*** of a camera man or what ever the f**k he does, he will tell you that i am the real thing!
If you STILL don't believe me. Go ahead, I will take on anyone who you put me against!
Those guys don't stand a chance!
I am coming to WFWF,and if you think you are cool,wait 'till you see me!
Camera Man # 1 turns off the camera.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:Alright guys get out of my house, now!
The crew gets there stuff together and gets ready to leave. Camera Man # 1 holds his hand up to Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez asking for the money for the recording.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez opens the door, Laughs and shoves them all out the door.
Christian "Cool Man" Rodriguez:You Guys better turn it in, or you will end up like that sound guy over there!

Chris182 Main Eventer Joined on: Jan 3, 2007 12:15:59 GMT -5 Posts: 1,299	The Start Of A New Beginning RP Feb 16, 2007 22:43:19 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Chris182 on Feb 16, 2007 22:43:19 GMT -5 i typed it with bolds but it did not come out how do i make i come up i copy and paste it.
	Last Edit: Feb 16, 2007 22:43:32 GMT -5 by Chris182

cureforthesickness
Guest

The Start Of A New Beginning RP Feb 17, 2007 5:20:59 GMT -5

Post by cureforthesickness on Feb 17, 2007 5:20:59 GMT -5

to bold it, type it normally, then go back and add in the coding. it's for bold or for italics. then whenever you want to end them, just put [/x], but instead of x, the b or i.

I'd suggest spacing this a little bit better. everything is really bunched up and hard to read. As for the actual roleplay, dispite the formatting issues, it was still pretty hard to read. Don't use the camera man or men, and definately don't use them in a starring role. Don't even acknowledge the camera. Everything should be written as if we're looking through a non-exsistant person's eyes, or occassionally, an exsisting charecter in the roleplay's eyes. Avoid the camera.

Your speech is.. lacking. I say that in the nicest way possible. it seems like it's just "I am the best, I am the best, I am the best". Tell WHY you're the best. Find reasons why you're the best. Also, don't just promo, tell a story. Find a scenario that your charecter interacts well with, and let him free in that enviroment. Live a "normal life" through the charecter, but make it pertain to the story at hand, that being the match.

I'd also avoid attacking ANYONE in a roleplay. It just makes your charecter look weak. Why does he have to beat up on camera men or whatever? Can he not manage to just beat on the wrestlers he's facing?

also, be aware of cut off times.. I assume this was for house show 19, and if it was, you missed the cut off time by about a day.

Last Edit: Feb 17, 2007 5:24:34 GMT -5 by cureforthesickness

Chris182 Main Eventer Joined on: Jan 3, 2007 12:15:59 GMT -5 Posts: 1,299	The Start Of A New Beginning RP Feb 19, 2007 14:31:19 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Chris182 on Feb 19, 2007 14:31:19 GMT -5 no it was not and i will make sure it is much better next time. thanks for the reply

Post by Chris182 on Feb 16, 2007 22:42:29 GMT -5

Post by Chris182 on Feb 16, 2007 22:43:19 GMT -5

Post by cureforthesickness on Feb 17, 2007 5:20:59 GMT -5

Post by Chris182 on Feb 19, 2007 14:31:19 GMT -5