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Post by " The Chosen One" Jeff Relling on Jul 21, 2010 21:21:23 GMT -5
Anger, aggression, animosity. These are the 3 constant moods of Lightning for this week. Lightning is talking to Alex Deathstar on his droid. What are you doing? Hanging out at home. Might as well relax on my week off. Why? I wanted to know. I thought you would support me from ringside this week. I'm facing a big guy whose mom makes some hot poop coffee. Oh. That dude. You're gonna win anyways. Ok. I need to ask you something. Shoot away. why did you say the stuff you said to EBR last week. I was pissed off cause you lost the match. What do you mean I lost the match? I mean that we had it all under control until you f**ked up and lost. F**k you Alex! F**k you! No, Jeff. F**k you! Lightning hangs up. He gets up from the chair at the desk and grabs his room key that was by the lamp and puts it in his left pocket. He barges out of the cramped hotel room and slams the door behind him. He walks towards the two silver elevators. then all the sudden, his phone starts to ring in his right pocket. He then accepts the call. Hello? Hello. Is this the WFWF superstar, Lightning?Yea. May I ask who's calling? I'm the new owner, King Kraig. Ok. Wat do you want Mr. Kraig? Please call me King.K. King? Way are you calling me?I just wanted to let you know that I will be watching you this week in your match. As King Kraig speaks, Lightning pulls out his pack of cigs and calls the elevator. Thanks for the wrning. I'll try to impress you.You already have. How? The elevator on Lightning's left side arrives and Lightning steps into it. I've watched your match last week.K. I am going to hang up now. Bye. Lightning hangs up and puts his phone in his right pocket and his cigs in his left. Boy. What a creep. Lightning presse the lobby floor button and the elevator doors close. |
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Deleted
Joined on: Jun 30, 2024 4:51:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2010 21:38:02 GMT -5
Good rp but why in the world would you call your owner a creep? If Vince McMahon or king kraig called me I would talk to them all day
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Post by " The Chosen One" Jeff Relling on Jul 22, 2010 13:59:18 GMT -5
Good rp but why in the world would you call your owner a creep? If Vince McMahon or king kraig called me I would talk to them all day I would too talk to them all day but he was in a whole different mindset in this rp. that is why I called the RP Calm Like A Bomb. He was unpredictable at that time. |
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 23, 2010 18:56:30 GMT -5
Uh....where to begin...yea im not gonna... Description needs work Dialogue needs work Character needs work Rp direction needs work ....actually im hanging up on this rp  |
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Calvin
Main Eventer
visit my myspace and listen to my music
Joined on: Dec 18, 2001 15:13:21 GMT -5
Posts: 3,791
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Post by Calvin on Jul 23, 2010 21:30:09 GMT -5
welcome to the new wfwf rev
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Post by bad guy™ on Jul 30, 2010 18:21:36 GMT -5
Ok so...yeah. You had a point you wanted to get across, that Lightning is blaming Deathstar for your recent losses as of late. I got that, but it just went by a bit too fast. This RP just comes off as rushed. Maybe it wasn't, but that's just how it comes off as. It certainly isn't your best work, but...yeah. That's just my take on it. You're trying though, so I'll give you that man. Just keep at it though.  |
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Post by sonstuds on Jul 31, 2010 11:46:54 GMT -5
Ok so...yeah. You had a point you wanted to get across, that Lightning is blaming Deathstar for your recent losses as of late. I got that, but it just went by a bit too fast. This RP just comes off as rushed. Maybe it wasn't, but that's just how it comes off as. It certainly isn't your best work, but...yeah. That's just my take on it. You're trying though, so I'll give you that man. Just keep at it though. Yessir. While I'm not really against someone using Kraig in their RPs, you didn't write the character correctly and the entire thing came off a little inexplicably random. You bring up the beginning of the RP that you lost a handicap match, so why would Kraig be impressed by Lightning's performance? It really just comes down to what Horror said about not rushing through things. |
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