2/17/11 Indiana Jones V Results!

[/color] Ooooh how fun!


"Across 26 Winters" by Phoenix Mourning blasts throughout the PA system, the fans all celebrating in unison as Ace Bennett graced his way from behind the entrance curtains and onto center stage, the WFWF National Championship smiling brightly underneath the arena lights. Pointing at the championship on his shoulders, he mouths "Don't worry guys, it's clean!" as he smiles and rubs the face of the championship with a white cloth using his opposite hand.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Ace Bennett of course with Valorie Evans’ National Title there. Considering he’s the second person to steal her title it’s evident she does not have much luck in not getting robbed.


Matt Steel:[/color] I’m more confused why two people who claim the belt is unsanitary would bother stealing it in the first place. Germs are no laughing matter.


A new found confidence seemed to overcome Ace Bennett as he walked down the entrance ramp, tucking the end of the white cloth between his trunks, giving powerful high-fives to his adoring fans, making sure the championship on his shoulder wasn't given the opportunity to do the same. Even if it was clean, who exactly knew the kind of relationship it had with Valorie Evans since October?


Matt Steel:[/color] I’m interested. Very interested.


Rolling under the ring ropes, Ace then hops back up on his feet and attempts to hand the championship (and cloth) to Rolf McCounterson Jr., the official for this championship bout. A skeptical look then overcame McCounterson's face, unsure if he was willing to touch it. A "You can do it!" chant began to start in the arena, encouraging McCounterson on, making his face turn a bright red. Grabbing the cloth first, he uses it as an oven mit before taking possession of the supposed clean championship. Shaking his head, Ace Bennett then proceeds to stretch, waiting for the defending WFWF National Champion to make her way onto the stage.


The introduction of Valorie Evans' theme music erupted the arena into a sea of mixed reactions. While some were against Valorie's chosen love life, others embraced it, hoping that one day, they themselves could confess their loves to "inanimate" objects.





Appearing from behind the entrance curtains Valorie Evans then stunned the crowd. While "normal" wrestlers with "normal" love lives would come into the ring with their ring gear, Valorie didn't. At least, not for this match. Her hair reaching in every such direction, Valorie made her into into the ring in an oversized grey "Prosser High School: Home of the Mustangs" sweatshirt, with an equally oversized pair of black sweatpants to coincide with it. Her eyes were a blazing red as used tissues fell out of her sweatshirt pockets the further she walked towards the ring. Two large band-aids made an "X" on the bridge of her nose, where the championship had hit her just the show before, and Valorie wasn't allowing anyone to forget it. "I am the victim! Look at me! I didn't cheat, I didn't cheat!" she screams to the crowd as she points towards her symbol of home domestic abuse. Rolling into the ring, she then glares lovingly at the WFWF National Championship in McCounterson's hands, making him feel extremely uncomfortable. Making a heart with her hands, she mouths "I still love you." as she retreats to her ring corner.


Matthew Werner:[/color] This is the most depressing match in the history of the WFWF.


Matt Steel:[/color] Yeah I didn’t come here to feel bad for anyone.


Rolf McCounterson Jr. now walks into the center of the ring, and sighs depressingly. He always had to deal with the crazies. Obviously, a large sweatshirt with an equally large pair of sweatpants held the opportunity for heeltastic shenanigans, and such shenanigans weren't about to happen in his squared circle. Handing the WFWF National Championship (and cloth) to a poor soul at ring side, he walks towards Valorie Evans as a ghostly expression appears on her face.


"NO! NO! You're not touching me!" Valorie screams as she tries her best to hug her turnbuckle corner. Rolf McCounterson would have none of it, urging her toward, he begins to feel her up, as Valorie yells in oppression. "COVER HIS EYES, COVER HIS EYES, HE CANNOT SEE THIS!" Rolf was now at the waistline and begin to feel her shape, "I WOULD NEVER HIDE ANYTHING, I AM A GOOD, HONEST PERSON!" It was then that Rolf McCounterson felt something in the front pocket of Valorie's ridiculously oversized sweatshirt, making her grow instantly silent. Burrowing through the tissues, he pulled out a box.


A bright pink box of Kleenex brand tissues, however, the box was completely out of tissues. Shaking his head disapprovingly, McCounterson then digs his hand into the box and pulls out a giant rusty silver railroad spike, the crowd flooding in "Ooooo's" as if Valorie just called her grade school teacher a naughty word, Ace Bennett shaking his head and laughing at the scene. "TAKE IT OFF!" McCounterson Jr. screams as he points at Valorie with the newly discovered railroad spike. "I'll be damned if this happens in my ring!"


"Sir, you can't honestly be sugg---" the crowd cuts Valorie off, and proceeds to chant "Take it off!" as she completely refuses to do so.


Holding his hand into Valorie's face, Rolf McCounterson Jr. began to thrust his superiority. "You have until five!"


Helpless, Valorie quickly rid herself of her unique entrance gear as the crowd begins to count with McCounterson.


"ONE!


Her sleeves were now lifeless.


"TWO!


Valorie's sweatshirt was now on the floor.


"THREE!"


A pant leg was now dangling as Valorie tripped over her own feet.


"FOUR!"


Throwing her sweatpants over the ring ropes, Valorie quickly jumped back onto her feet. Although this was pay-per-view, luckily Valorie Evans was sporting her actual wrestling gear beneath all the layers. Signaling for the bell, Rolf McCounterson Jr. finally felt it was time to start the match.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Well I’m glad that’s over.


Matt Steel:[/color] Felt like a scene we probably shouldn’t have seen.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Kind of a personal moment.


Matt Steel:[/color] Yeah no doubt.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Anyways, to the match.


Ace Bennett puts on his serious face as he walks towards the center of the ring and goes into a traditional wrestling pose. His right hand up, his left hand in the middle, Bennett looks to want to test the strength of our defending WFWF National Champion, Valorie Evans. Valorie, who just had to strip for live television quickly tried to put the embarrassing moment behind her, it was now her time to prove to the National Championship that she wasn't about to star an episode of "Cheaters" on the G4 television network. Cracking her knuckles, she walks into the center with Ace Bennett, and puts herself in the similar pose, grasping Bennett's left hand. However, when she tries to reach for the right, Bennett extends its height, forcing his obvious height advantage over our 5'5" champion. Laughing confidently, Bennett continues to play with Valorie for good sixty seconds, deciding to play a severely modified version of hitting a piñata with a stick. Growing sick of this, Valorie stomps on Bennett's foot, finally reaching her goal. The crowd watches intently as the duo then lock at a stalemate as they both force their strength upon one another.


Valorie looks to have an early advantage as Bennett begins to rear back, exciting the crowd, however, it was only to secure his footing as Bennett takes full advantage of his body weight. His confident ever radiant, he overpowers Valorie completely, forcing her into a complete bridge. The top of her head kissing the ring mat, her body makes a perfect "n" shape as Bennett continues to hold her down. Valorie, unwilling to break the bridge, angers Bennett. Jumping upward, he slams his knees onto the stomach of Valorie Evans, but it is to no avail as she continues to keep her form. Perturbed, Bennett does it again, but still, Valorie wouldn't break it. The audience begins to cheer as Bennett tries once more, but it was still no avail. Taking a huge breath, Bennett goes for one last leap, and this time keeps his knees on the stomach of Valorie Evans. The crowd cheered louder as Valorie held the form for a complete five seconds before Bennett's weight was simply too much for her. Her back hitting the ring mat with a echoing "thud!" Ace Bennett quickly got back on his feet and pointed at his head, showing his smarts.


Matt Steel:[/color] Like a fox!


Walking towards Valorie legs, Bennett then lifts them up, and tucks them between his arms. Screaming "You know what I'm going to do!" he flips Valorie onto her stomach and wrenches them upward as he performs one of his signature moves, the classic Boston Crab! Valorie clenches her fists as she screams bloody agony over the maneuver. She had absolutely no where to go, the ring ropes were each an equal distance away from one another. McCounterson getting on one knee begins to ask her, but Valorie triumphantly screams "No!" as Bennett continues to contort her body. She needed to get out of the submission hold, otherwise her love for the championship would never reach its highest potential ever again. Placing her hands firmly on the ring mat, Valorie begins to try and power of it, elevating her body off the floor as Bennett looks downward in amazement. The crowd cheers in approval as Valorie tries to roll herself over, Bennett, not wanting to rid himself of the advantage, lets go of the hold and lands a stomp squarely as Valorie's back before she could completely roll over, the crowd "Oooo-ing" as she squirmed in pain.

Crawling herself to the ring corner, Valorie pulled herself back onto her feet, nursing her back as Bennett lunges towards her with a flying elbow. Noticing this, she dodges the move just in the nick of time as Bennett collides with the turnbuckle pad. Taking a quick breath, she, herself then lunges towards Bennett with a front dropkick, landing it on the lower back of Ace Bennett. Not letting time go to waste, she scoops Bennett's leg and attempts a quick School Girl pin, but before McCounterson could even do his job, Bennett kicks out immediately as the crowd screams in approval.


Matthew Werner:[/color] We’re seeing a clinic here.


Running a hand through her hair, Valorie honestly believed she had him there. Bennett, smiling as he pulled himself back onto his feet, also nurses his back and waves disapproving finger gesture at her. "No, that's not happening." Screaming, Valorie quickly gets up and slaps a back chop on the chest of Ace Bennett, the crowd following suit with a Ric Flair "Woo!" in unison. Bennett flexes his chest and urges for more as Valorie delivers a series of Kobashi-like back chops to the chest of Ace Bennett, who just continued to absorb them like a sponge. His chest now completely red, Ace then screams "C'MON!" as he delivers a powerful back chop of his own, sending Valorie directly on the floor, the slap echoing throughout the arena.


Rebounding back upward, Valorie asks for another thunderous back chop from Ace Bennett, who simply smiles at the request and does as he's told, sending Valorie back on the ring mat. Although much slower, Valorie rebounds back up again, and sounding out of breath asks, "One more." Bennett, still shaking off the previous back chop chuckles, and this time winding up his arm. "You're not getting back up this time." However, as Bennett performs the chop, Valorie absorbs the blow with her forearms, protecting her chest. Grabbing the arm, she then shifts her body weight on it, slamming it onto the floor. Locking it underneath her arm, she then shifts it upward, performing a Fujiwara Armbar submission hold. The crowd loving the spot, approves as Bennett tries to escape. Luckily for him, he was near the ring ropes, and wraps his legs around it. McCounterson begins to ask Valorie to break the submission, but she refuses. "HE STOLE HIS HEART!"[/color] Valorie screams as she squares her feet on the floor and begins to bridge the submission hold, adding more torque to the maneuver.


McCounterson holds up his hand and begins to count.


"ONE!"


"TWO!"


"THREE!"


"FOUR!"


Valorie then lets go of the hold, and quickly gets back on her feet. Getting in McCounterson's face, she begins to argue with him. "Do you not understand? I NEED TO WIN HIS LOVE BACK!" The two start the bicker as Bennett rolls himself out of the ring. Nursing his arm, he walks towards the announcing table. Shoving a useless cameraman out of the way, he directs himself towards the WFWF National Championship. "GIVE ME THAT!" Ripping the title out of Keri Thames' hands (poor soul) with his good arm, he buckles it around his waist and rolls himself back into the ring. A confident smile still present on his face, Ace then brings the championship downward, allowing the belt to hug right over his groin area. The crowd goes insane as he taps Valorie on the shoulder, "Hey belt humper!"


The expression on Valorie's face went from frustration to complete horror as she saw her WFWF National Championship hug the groin of Ace Bennett. Ace, loving this, then put his hands on his head and began to swerve his hips, as if he was the next Rick Rude. Falling to her knees, Valorie's eyes swelled in tears as she watched her boyfriend enjoy every moment of hugging another person's hips. "H-h-h-h-How...how...how...how could you do this to me?" Emotions began to run wild in Valorie's mind as she was memorized by the championship thrusting towards and away from her face. Her reflection not serving her any favors as the bandages on her nose grew bigger and smaller with every thrust. "I th-th-th-th-th...I thought you loved me." Lowering her head, Valorie went silent as her hair covered her face entirely. Bennett then unbuckled the championship, and put it down right under (where he assumed) her face was. Silence grew throughout the arena as they watched a heart broken girl do absolutely nothing in the ring as she continued to stare at the National Championship. Breathing heavily, she suddenly shot herself upward. "Why....how...what....what....what....what made you do this!? WHY?" Valorie began to pull her hair as she darted for Ace Bennett at full speed. Bennett was ready for this however, and hit a single straight elbow shot to the head of Valorie Evans, forcing her back to face Bennett. Jumping upward, he then wrapped his legs around Valorie's neck and hit a beautiful standing Syracuse Drop. Basking under his glory, he then lifted the leg of Valorie Evans confidently, going for the pin.


Rolf McCounterson Jr. dashing back into the scene, proceeded with the count.


"ONE!"


"TWO!"


"THREE!"


"Across 26 Winters" blasted throughout the arena again as Ace Bennett was crowned WFWF's new National Champion! Grabbing the championship, he celebrated over a defeated Valorie Evans, who now in a dark ocean of deep rooted depression.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Well that was ... that was ... something ...


Matt Steel:[/color] And to think all over a belt. But you know what, I say what a consenting adult does with something that isn’t even real is none of our business. Some people say the cucumber tastes better pickled.


And on that, we’re back to INDIANA JONES V: CURSE OF THE WRESTLING FIGS WRESTLING FEDERATION VISION!![/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] Sick.[/center]

[/color]


Keri Thames:[/color] Being accompanied to the ring by Los Hobos, Percy the Panhandler and Ashley Hobo, from the gutter, weighing in tonight at a whole lot, he is “The King of Gore” Phillip.. OBO.. Schneider!


Schneider climbs into the ring. He graciously accepts the can of weapons from Ashley, placing them in a corner, and pointing her towards the back. He peels off his MMA gloves, the Los Hobos shirts, and the hockey mask, handing them all out to Percy, who hands them to a passing by ring attendant. Phillip stretches out in the ring and gets his weapons the way he likes them.[/color]


The chords of “Death Before Dishonor” hits as the lights dim low. Trace Demon walks out onto the ramp and a single spotlight shines down upon him. He holds out his arm, pointing at the ring with his fingers pointed like a gun. He throws his hand upwards, mouthing “Boom” and turning the lights on in the process. He slowly makes his way down to the ring, entering between the top and middle rope. He ascends the turnbuckle and points at the crowd, grinning, before jumping down and stopping in the center of the ring.[/color]


During Trace Demon’s entrance, as becomes clear as Trace enters the ring, Schneider has went to work, wrapping the ropes on the side of the ring closest to the entrance way in barbed wire, creating a danger side of the ring. Trace seems really uneasy with the barbed wire being attached to the ring ropes, but seems forced to accept it.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] Matt, you’ve heard the buzz.. You’ve seen the hype.. And now he’s out here.. They’re calling him Obo and he came out here with Los Hobos. As of tonight, he’s a WFWF Hall of Famer.. And this very well could be his last match in the WFWF. Your thoughts?


Matt Steel:[/color] I’m thirsty.


Matthew Werner:[/color] You’re an ass hole.


Referee sounds the bell. Trace Demon doesn’t take his eyes off of Schneider, who whips his hair back and has a grin on his face. Trace approaches the center of the ring. Schneider as well. Collar and elbow tie up center ring. The Demon easily over powers Obo and backs him towards the ropes. As they are almost to the ropes, Schneider makes a quick swing of momentum and puts Trace Demon right into the barbed wire bare back first.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] They wasted no time in getting into the barbed wire..


Matthew Werner:[/color] With the hype into this match, did you really think they would be waiting a long time to introduce the weapons?


Trace Demon with a hard shove and he throws Schneider across the ring. Schneider rolls right back to his feet. Demon pulls himself off of the barbed wire. Schneider runs at Demon. Demon side steps and Schneider hits the barbed wire wrapped ropes, but doesn’t even slow down, bouncing right off of the razor sharp wrapped ropes, ripping his flesh in the process, but coming back with full momentum for a clothesline on Trace Demon.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] I know this isn’t your specialty, but let’s talk history.


Matt Steel:[/color] Shoot.


Matthew Werner:[/color] This is a grudge match that most people didn’t even realize was a grudge. July 14th 2007. Trace Demon won a battle royal to capture the WFWF Hardcore X championship. WFWF Heavyweight champion at the time, Obo, entered himself in the battle royal. He hoped to capture the Hardcore X championship, for his own pride as a hardcore wrestler, and to get his grand slam here in WFWF. Trace Demon took that away from him, and a few short months later, Obo left the WFWF for almost three years. This is their first match against each other since that night, July 14th 2007. Since then, Trace Demon has done what Obo couldn’t, and become a grand slam champion with Hardcore X, National, Tag Team, and World Heavyweight title wins.


Matt Steel:[/color] You need oxygen after that?


Matthew Werner:[/color] I went on this spiel so I could explain this one. The barbed wire really seemed to take a lot out of Trace Demon. He is a former Hardcore champion here, but he prides himself on the technical aspect of professional wrestling. That barbed wire really seemed to stop him in his tracks, as barbed wire is intended to do. Meanwhile Obo hit it, bounced off of it, and never slowed down.


Matt Steel:[/color] My broadcast partner apparently read Obo’s role play this week. Glad someone did.


To the corner trash can Schneider goes. He empties the can out. He rummages the contents, but seems unsatisfied with most of them. He tosses aside a hockey stick, a cookie sheet, which Trace Demon quickly intercepts, and a pie pan before finding what he wanted.. A baseball bat with nails duct taped all over it.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] Holy.. Sh*t..


Matthew Werner:[/color] Question his training, but it seems Dead Rising 2 was a valid training tool for Schneider.. He’s got the god damn nail bat.


Matt Steel:[/color] You get an achievement when you first build that you know?


Trace on the offensive with his cookie sheet. A wild swing at Schneider, Schneider blocks with the nail bat, piercing the cookie sheet and tossing it aside. Trace has a bit of a horrified look on his face, Schneider with no hesitation swinging the bat right into Trace’s stomach.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] Oh snap! TNA took like 6 months of build before someone got hit with their nail bat!


Matthew Werner:[/color] Yeah, but they do a lot of things that don’t particularly make sense.


Schneider pulls his nail bat back and slams it right into the back of Trace Demon, Trace trying his best to get away. Schneider tosses the bat aside, as it’s flashing red and about to break. He grabs a black bag from the corner. A large black bag. As Trace is trying to recover, Schneider pulls the string from his bag and empties the contents, thousands of glistening gold thumbtacks.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] These carrots smell horrible.


Matt Steel:[/color] Why are you eating carrots at a time like this? Can’t you see that there are thumbtacks in the ring?


Matthew Werner:[/color] You’re right. I’ll discard these carrots at the earliest possible time. They smell like ass anyways.


Schneider turns around and he walks right into a boot to the mid section from Trace Demon. Reverse suplex attempt from Demon takes Schneider up, but Schneider lands on his feet on the other side of the tacks. Schneider with a reverse suplex attempt of his own and Demon uncreatively reverses in the same way. A break. Test of strength over the tacks. Schneider works Demon’s hand towards the tacks. He breaks the test of strength and tries to stomp Demon’s hand into the tacks, but Demon pulls his hand back before Schneider can. Demon throws a swift knee lift right to Schnieder’s face, rocking the King of Gore. Schneider falls backwards into the ropes, but rushes forwards. Demon spears Schneider, right into the tacks![/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] Spear!


Matthew Werner:[/color] Spear, Spear!


Matt Steel:[/color] Nah, just one. He doesn’t have a creative albeit goofy name for his like Luke Collins did.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Ah, a shame.


Schneider rises from the tacks, his back a glistening golden nightmare of puncture wounds and tacks. Demon calls out audibly “Demostration of Hell!” before booting Schneider in the gut. Set up for the double underhook power bomb, aiming for the thumbtack pile, but Schneider regains his composure enough to back drop Demon up and over, a flat back bump for Demon into the tacks covering his body with hundreds of unwanted piercings to match Schneider’s.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] And Demon takes a spill into the tacks.


Matt Steel:[/color] From our point of view, with the bright lights, these two men are quite decorative.


Matthew Werner:[/color] With all this blood and sparkling, you’d think we were watching Twilight!


Matt Steel:[/color] I should slap you.


Schneider goes back to the nail bat. It’s blinking red, but it has at least one hit left in it. Trace Demon is slowly recovering. Schneider takes a swing with the bat, Demon ducks it, then kicks Schneider square in the balls. Demon grabs Schneider by the head, lifting him up and dropping him right back into the tacks, again, with a brain buster.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] That’s a really dumb move to do into a pile of thumbtacks. Demon caught way more of the tacks than Schneider did.


Matthew Werner:[/color] No one said Trace Demon was smart.


Matt Steel:[/color] Yep. No one did..


Regardless of catching 3/4s of the tacks off the brain buster, Demon is recovered and to the outside. He pulls up the ring skirt and pulls out a ladder. He pushes his climbing device into the ring and re-enters himself. During this brief intermission from combat, Schneider has recovered enough to grab a handful of something. Demon walks after Schneider, Schneider boots him in the gut and grabs him in a headlock, putting whatever he had in his mouth, small wooden something. Schneider drags Demon to the ropes with the headlock, then grabs a couple of the sticks from his mouth and jams the sharp end into the scalp of Trace Demon. The crowd reacts in horror, the sticks hanging from Trace Demon’s scalp like antennas. Schneider grabs a few more sticks and jams them into the scalp as well. Not satisfied to give one side of the crowd the entire freakshow, Schneider drags Trace Demon to the other side of the ring, where he stabs the remaining sticks into Trace’s scalp.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] Well that’s just brutally disgusting.. I’m almost sure those are shish kabob sticks.


Matt Steel:[/color] I prefer beef and vegis on my kabobs, not Demon..


Trace Demon stumbles around the ring in shock, the sticks poking out of his head in a comical manner, making him look like the world’s most horrifying bloody alien. Schneider grabs the empty trash can that his weapons were brought to the ring with. He waits for Demon to turn around, then blasts him with the can, sending broken kabob sticks everywhere, and presumably driving several of the sticks into Demon’s brain. Demon falls to his back in pain, landing right into the thumbtacks again.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] You know Matthew, we’ve seen a lot of really horrible things in the WFWF and in Obo matches.. Barbed wire, thumbtack bats, Jake Slash, but I think this may be the most brutal thing I’ve ever seen.. He just hammered kabobs into Trace Demon’s head with a trash can!


Matthew Werner:[/color] I literally have nothing to say. No words can validate my thoughts here..


Demon tries to pull the kabob sticks out of his head valiantly. Schneider, however, has something else on his mind. He yells to the ring attendant to hand him his hobo vest. The ring attendant does so. Schneider reaches into the pocket of the vest and produces a small white cardboard box. He throws the vest back to the outside as he walks across the ring with an evil smile. Demon has just removed the last of the kabob sticks from his cranium when Schneider opens the box to his latest toy.. Injection needles.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] Oh for f*ck’s sake, stop the damn match! He’s got f*cking needles!


Matt Steel:[/color] Easy there Matt, this is a family show ... then again it’s pay-per-view so I guess anything goes ... hmm ...


Matthew Werner:[/color] A man’s been kabobbed, tacked, and is presumably about to be needled, and you’re telling me not to use the F-word!?


Schneider pulls out three needles, throwing the empty box aside. He holds them in his mouth, just like the kabobs, taking one needle first to go after Demon. Demon sees the coming needle and blocks Schnieder’s attempt to stab him with it. Demon stops the hand. Schneider inching closer. Demon head butts Schneider right between the eyes and Schneider drops the needle. Demon grabs it. Schneider is still stunned, the other two needles now laying on the mat amongst the debris. Demon goes after Schneider’s bicep with the needle. The long poker goes right into the meat and back out. Demon pushes the plunger and a clear liquid goes flying across the ring with a squirt, the liquid passing all the way through the needle, and Schneider’s arm, in the process.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] I think I’m going to be sick.


Matthew Werner:[/color] For diabetics who take insulin shots, you can tell the world how painful it is to take a needle every day.. Now imagine the needle going in your arm and coming back out, with force.. Sweet mother of Buddhist monks..


Trace Demon, feeling the damage with the needles is down, throws the other two to the outside. He sets up his ladder in the center of the ring. He goes after Schneider, who has pulled the needle out of his own arm, and then stabs Demon right in the stomach with it.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] Now that’s just filthy. What if Phillip Schneider has AIDS? He just gave Trace Demon AIDS!


Matthew Werner:[/color] What if those needles had AIDS on them to start with? Now they both have AIDS!


Matt Steel:[/color] This match is not positive..


Matthew Werner:[/color] Don’t make that joke..


Sliced and diced, Schneider rolls to the outside. He goes to the dumpster, pushing it right to the middle of the ring apron, and lifting the lids. The entire dumpster is FULL of florescent light tubes. Demon has pulled the needle out of his stomach as Schneider re-enters the ring. Schneider with a couple of boots to the mid section of Demon, kicking at the needle wound. Trace grabs a handful of thumbtacks and throws them into the face of Schneider. Demon on the offensive, a scoop and a slam into the tacks. Demon calls for the finish. He starts a climb on the ladder.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] Now is climbing that ladder in the ring REALLY a wise thing to do? Schneider’s got a dumpster full of light tubes at ringside. He’s obviously got something twisted in mind here..


Matt Steel:[/color] Again, Trace Demon is dumb..


Schneider back to his feet, more tacks covering his body. Trace is half way up the ladder. Schneider starts a climb up the ladder as well. They meet at the top. A hard right hand from Trace. A left from Schneider. A right from Trace. Schneider rocks, the ladder shaking. Back and forth he rocks, the balance of the ladder faulted.. The ladder tips to the left, then to the right, where it falls over, and both men go flying from the top of the ladder, over the top rope, and into the dumpster full of light tubes. A massive white cloud of dust and glass flies from inside the dumpster.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THEY FELL FROM 15 FEET!


Matt Steel:[/color] They’re dead. Plain and simple. D-e-h-d.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Uhhh…


The referee rolls to the outside. He unhooks both clasps on the dumpster and releases the side, glass spilling everywhere, along with two broken and bloody bodies. Both men are out of it on the arena floor, but Schneider comes to enough to put a hand over Demon’s chest. Referee makes a careful count on his leg to avoid the glass.[/color]


... 1[/color] ...


... 2[/color] ...


... 3[/color] ...


Ding! Ding! Ding![/color]


Keri Thames:[/color] Your winner of the match ... Phillip Schneider!


Matthew Werner:[/color] Mercifully, this one is over with.. Phillip Schneider has come out on top. What a war![/center]

[/color] Well we're back ... that was brutal. Matt, do you think Shawn Malakai and ZMaster will be okay?


Matt Steel:[/color] No idea.


Matthew Werner:[/color] You're a straight shooter. I respect that.


Keri Thames:[/color] The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the WFWF Tag Team Championships! Introducing first ...


“O’Death” by Jen Titus plays as Jason Jadoa exits from the back and walks towards the ring, ignoring the boos from the crowd. He enters the ring as Keri Thames stares at him, Jadoa staring back.[/color]


Keri Thames:[/color] ... Jason Jadoa.


Matthew Werner:[/color] A little strange that Jason Jadoa and CBT are apparently having separate entrances ...


Matt Steel:[/color] I know. Not much team unity from The Higher Authority being displayed.


Keri Thames:[/color] And his partner ...


We’re all directed to the entrance. Nothing happens.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] This is the second Pay-Per-View in a row where one of the men in the Tag Title match didn’t actually compete in the match. That’s probably not good for moral.


Keri Thames:[/color] Uh ... and his opponents ...


“Moment of silence for the champions…”


The vocal styling’s of Ron Artest’s “Champions” kicks in with the long diatribe of personal excellence, which really applies to the amazing tag team tandem that happens to be the champions. So much so said tandem hangs back content to allow Artest a full minute of air time to heap their praises before finally emerging to the stage area to a strong reaction! EBR is in his teal shorts and a plain white hoody, the hood up over his head as DGX strides alongside him clad in his black tights with Xs, black boots kickpads and a dark denim leather/jean jacket fusion. Both look spiffy, stylish and damned sexy![/color]


Keri Thames:[/color] They are the WFWF Tag Team Champions ...


DGX unhooks his championship belt from his waist and takes a stage bow as he bends at the waist before raising the championship high over his head. EBR meanwhile looks up and around at the fans from under his hood before DGX slings the belt over his shoulder and the tandem strides to the ring during the chorus of the song.[/color]


Keri Thames:[/color] ... D-G-X ... and E-B-R!


EBR slides into the ring under the bottom rope as DGX strides up the steps before strutting to the ring apron and taking an exaggerated step into a wide stance for the fans and in the ring. EBR disrobes of his hoody revealing his title belt around his waist which he removes as well. DGX raises his title on the apron in his pose on the apron before stepping smoothly through the ropes and handing the belt to the official. The champions convene briefly in the corner as Jadoa stands on the opposite side of the ring, eyeing both down.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] I hate to be the pessimistic -


Matt Steel:[/color] Yet you’ll do it anyways.


Matthew Werner:[/color] But it seems awfully strange that we’d have this Tag Team Title match booked in which CBT never once makes an appearance or makes any sort of confirmation that he’d actually be taking part in it.


Matt Steel:[/color] You and your theories.


After briefly discussing it DGX gestures that he’ll start the match, a fact EBR nods at. DGX approaches the middle of the ring with EBR behind him and Jadoa to his front. DGX looks back at EBR, a sly smile on his face as he briefly jogs on the spot and loosen up his joints. Once he finished he simply stands there ... until EBR takes him out with the George Atkinson Lariat![/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] Oh! What the hell!?


As if on cue Jadoa joins in as both men repeatedly stomp on the downed DGX. With DGX on his knees EBR continually jams his knee into the side of DGX’s head as the crowd’s displeasure is voiced audibly.[/color]


Matt Steel:[/color] This is terrible, Matthew!


Matthew Werner:[/color] You’re damn right it’s terrible! What the hell is going on out here?


Matt Steel:[/color] It’s XWA on XWA, and that is not cool!


Matthew Werner:[/color] Oh for God’s sake ...


Both men roughly jerk DGX up to his feet. Jadoa takes a couple of steps back, measuring him up before quickly taking him back down with the Revelation! EBR and Jason Jadoa continue to stomp and kick at DGX’s bruised body for several more moments before they once again bring him back up. Throwing DGX’s body onto his shoulders EBR drops him onto the top of his head with the Illmatic![/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] Why isn’t anyone stopping this?


Matt Steel:[/color] I’m sure if CBT was here he’d probably be the voice of reason and would calmly sooth this situation over ... but unfortunately the fact he’s not here was possibly the catalyst for this entire thing in the first place, so I suppose DGX is just inherently f*cked at this point. We’re on Pay-Per-View so I can say that. Eat your hearts out, Egypt.


Matthew Werner:[/color] Are you serious?


Matt Steel:[/color] I’m part Egyptian so it’s cool.


Matthew Werner:[/color] ... Forget it, just forget it.


Thinking that the damage is clearly done EBR and Jadoa collectively nod at one another before exiting the ring, walking up the ramp to boos from the WFWF faithful.[/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] I can only assume that this is just payback for what DGX did to him in 2009 and that explains where EBR is in this whole thing, but where does Jason Jadoa fit into this?


Matt Steel:[/color] You know what they say, Matthew – “the best things come to those who wait”. Apparently for EBR that just meant waiting like two years. Patient like a fox.


Matthew Werner:[/color] You didn’t answer my question.


Matt Steel:[/color] Or did I? Jedi mind trick.


As Jason Jadoa and EBR near the backstage area, their attention is suddenly averted towards DGX, lying on the canvas with a smile on his face and inexplicably a microphone in his hand. Keri Thames probably felt sorry for him. That was rough.[/color]


DGX:[/COLOR] Heh…seriously E? That…pants[/color] that’s all?! That’s all you have for me?! Heh heh..hah! You know, I spend nine months wandering around “oblivious” to your “secret plans”, giving the performance pants[/color] probably of my life because your acting in this…


DGX is now pulling himself up on the ropes holding the mic while talking as EBR looks on with an expression that can only be described as incredulous.[/color]


DGX:[/COLOR] Your “performance” E, made Linda Blair look like an Oscar winner! I mean breath[/color] ssssseriously E…I break every bone in your hand, leave you out for months holding your d*ck at home…dial you up and HAND you your shot at revenge, and the best you can come up with is a two on one beating where you give me a couple of finishers. Finishers which on a week to week basis…pause[/color] the likes Shawn Malakai, Chris Jackal, Lawrence Cage and even the Headcrushers recover from in like fifteen minutes?


Matthew Werner:[/color] Is DGX saying he knew about this the whole time?!


Matt Steel:[/color] How could he know though? I mean, he and E looked pretty cool to me…out representin’ every week.


DGX:[/COLOR] I have to tell ya E, I severely overestimated you. I mean you’re supposedly EBR, this “bad mother f*cker” who you just don’t wanna mess with, the Canadian pit bull, the “villain” and yet I make you a b*tch in front of the world and two years of planning and preparation and THIS is what happens? It took you NINE MONTHS to work up the courage to do THIS?!


DGX’s laughter, though strained around panting from the obvious effects that getting beat down two on one will cause seems to change EBR’s look from incredulous slowly and dangerously to angry.[/color]


DGX:[/COLOR] Nine months of hand holding and ego stroking to get your spine up to do something about it, and this is what you give me. HAHAHAHAHA…EBR ladies and gentlemen…your hall of famer and ‘dangerous’ man…let it be shown here tonight that EBR is neither dangerous nor great…the only thing you ARE E…is a great, big, P*SSY!!


Crowd:[/color] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!


With that, EBR beelines back into the ring as DGX cackles hysterically enjoying this huge joke at EBR’s expense and knowing what’s coming next![/color]


Matthew Werner:[/color] This is just ... bizarre, to say the least.


Sliding under the bottom rope EBR wastes no time and DGX shows no objection as he fires at DGX with a barrage of rights and forearms, taking his “partner” to the canvas. Mounting him, EBR connects with right hand after right hand as the crowd watches in what’s more of a confused silence at this point. After several moments EBR gets off DGX, the camera catching DGX’s quickly bruising face. EBR’s not done however, continuing to stomp on DGX’s head and sharply kicking him in the ribs several times as DGX coughs, a shot of blood landing on the canvas. Just as it looks like this entire “awkward-to-watch” segment is nearing an end, EBR looks down at DGX and pauses. He waits until DGX’s left hand is exposed, crushingly bringing his foot down upon it. Believing to be finished whatever it is he wanted to do, EBR leaves the ring. Walking up the ramp in silence until he’s greeted by Jason Jadoa who remained watching the entire time, both exit to the back. The camera cuts to DGX, lying in the ring holding his left hand, grunts of discomfort juxtaposed with a bloody smirk.[/color][/center]

Credit and thanks to Valorie, Alex, Schneider, McGurk, D, and Hutton Brown for their contributions.

Note to self; next time Schneider asks me to change his match to No DQ in the card, say no and avoid this problem altogether.

Holy turds I was not expecting that. Great job writing the match Evans. Hopefully my internet situatipn can get fixed before the next RP is done. Great results.

Your theme music changed the exact day after I submitted in the results, that's why you have your old theme, if you were wondering about that. ^_^;

To be fair, you no showed so...ya. Can't win that way.