Post by veronicaaaahhhh on Apr 18, 2012 1:15:22 GMT -5
“Obo’s gonna kill me.”
…
…
…
“Obo’s gonna kill me.”, Slanted murmured. “I’m f*cked.”
Truth be told, this wasn’t the way Slanted wanted to start things off. For weeks, he had known that he was going to be facing Philip “Obo” Schneider for his WFWF debut on Loaded. He knew he had lots of time to prepare and get himself ready. While he knew that he couldn’t push himself up to Obo’s level, he knew that he could at least put up a fight.
… All he had to do was work at it.
“I’m f*cked.”, Slanted hissed as he slumped down his chair and reached for his bong Slanted took a long hit off the pipe and gave himself a moment to hold in the smoke to at least settle him.
He’d be calm… He could think about the match better this way.
“I’m f*cked!”
Slanted took another hit off the bong and paced around his room. As a fan, he had followed Philip Schneider from his time as Obo and to his return, which seemed all the more violent to him because here was a wrestler who could legitimately hurt you and as stupid as the thought came, Slanted just realized that yes, wrestling does hurt.
...It hurts a lot.
Holding the bong in his hand, Slanted opened the drawer where he kept all his action figures and quickly assembled his wrestling ring and rolled some figures out on his floor. It took a little while, but within a few minutes, he had a small arena on the floor before him, complete with a small entrance curtain and a smattering of fans.
Reaching for a poorly customized Slanted figure that looked like it was put together with a Sharpie, Slanted hummed Pearl Jam’s “Go” as he walked his figure ringside.
He made the Slanted figure slide into the ring and just like the real Slanted, the toy Slanted started pacing around the ring.
And then, Slanted started humming out “All or Nothing” and within moments, he was holding his own badly customized Philip Schneider action figure, leading it through the entrance curtain as he heard the imaginary howl of excitement from the small crowd he assembled.
Once the Philip Schneider figure was inside the ring, it wasted no time in jumping the Slanted figure. Slanted positioned the Philip Schneider figure over the Slanted figure and started pummeling his own figure with heinous stomps across the chest.
“For weeks I had known this match was coming… It wasn’t like I wasn’t excited or ready, I was! I told my friends, I told my mom, and I told my girlfriend about my first match. How often does a newcomer get to square off against the WFWF World Heavyweight Champion?
I’m not a stranger to all this… I known who Philip Schneider is, I’ve been following him for years. I figured if I trained hard enough and got myself into the mindset, that maybe I could stand a fighting chance… That maybe I could put him down and cement myself in the history of the WFWF as someone who really can.
But I f*cked myself over… Yeah, I can blame school and I can blame something else. But I won’t. The truth is that I’m not as ready as I thought I was and that’s pretty crippling. Every day leading up until now, the thought slowly sunk itself into the back of my neck.
I was ready for the bite… It just so happened that I ended up biting myself in my own ass and I was too stupid to even see it until I felt my own bite against my neck and now I’m as f*cked as I ever was…
Not cool… Not cool.”
The Philip Schneider figure tossed the Slanted figure out of the ring and began working him on the outside.
“But I guess my biggest problem in all this was the idea that I can’t beat you. Why is something that never happened so ingrained into my mind that I can’t even let my own action figure beat you up?
It’s like, it’s there… And I can’t do anything about it. I just have to accept that on Loaded, you’re going to kill me.
Regardless if it’s Wayne McGurk or Reverend Shadow or Michael Kyzer, you got through all these men… Men, who are more powerful than me, but men, who at one point or another, were more powerful than you… But you showed them. You showed them that you had more and you were vicious about that.”
Slanted took the Philip Schneider figure and held it up before him. “Why can’t I be more like you?”
Slanted held up the Slanted figure in the other hand. “And be a hell of a lot less like me!”
Slanted threw the figures down on the ground and reached into his drawer for an assortment of weapons, equipping both figures with they’re own steel chairs.
Holding up his figure again, Slanted looked at it and murmured, “Maybe… Just maybe.”
The two figures stood before each other outside the ring.
… This is it. The chance for Slanted to do anything he wanted. Somehow, things were balanced.
The Slanted figure made a fake swing at the Philip Schneider figure before running away from him by slipping into the ring.
The Philip Schneider figure reached for Slanted’s legs, pulled him outside and swung the chair, but the Slanted figure ducked it and hit him with his own chair.
“Maybe I do have a chance.”
Slanted put the two figures inside the ring and set the chairs up to face each other. Propping the toys on their respective chairs, the Slanted figure and the Philip Schneider figure began exchanging blows in a seated position in the center of the ring.
“Maybe I can’t win, but as long as I have it in me, I do have a fighting chance. I know you’re going to hurt me and I know you’re going to mark me in your long list of wrestler’s you’ve proudly put away like throphies, but this is my first match, and lucky for me, I barely know myself. So for all I know, I can surprise you. Maybe I can kick you’re a**, maybe I can somehow pull up a win.
I can do it… At least I think I can.
The worst that could happen is that I lose the match, but at least I would have somehow survived- that’s gotta count for something… Right?”
Slanted was getting himself ready to pull off a major spot between the chairs, when he heard a knock on the door.
“Mom, I’m busy!”
… That was his code word for “spanking the monkey”. He hated it, but then again, his mother never understood the concept of knocking.
“Dude, it’s me!”, Enchanted shot out
Quickly, Slanted got to his feet and opened the door.
Enchanted gave him a kiss and slid herself into his room. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting something, was I?”
Slanted pointed down to the action figures on the floor.
Enchanted smiled and tapped his cheek. “You know that still qualifies as a form of masturbation.”
“Shut up.”, Slanted scoffed, playfully, as he wrapped his arms around her
“You ready for the match?”
“I think so.”
“Still paranoid about getting beat up?”
“Of course I am.”
Enchanted grabbed the Slanted figure and the Philip Schneider figure and held it up. “At least you’re toys are making you feel better.”
A small grin formed across Slanted’s face… The girl had a way of pointing out the gay in almost anything and as strange as it was, it did a good job of getting him to laugh a bit.
“I know.”, Slanted shot back. “At least I’m not doing it alone.”
Enchanted held up the Philip Schneider figure. “Right?! And look, you’re toy’s got company.”
Slanted grabbed the Philip Schneider figure from Enchanted’s hand, murmuring, “Shut up and let me finish playing with my figures.”
“Be my guest, my good man.”
Slanted sat down ‘injun’ style around his miniature ring and started running the figures through the match again while Enchanted made herself comfortable on Slanted’s bed, packing another bowl into the bong.
Not noticing the open door, Slanted heard the sound of his mom’s voice break through the cool buzz he and Enchanted had going as she said, “Awww… Look at my little baby boy, playing with his little toys!”
Slanted’s eyes popped out of his skull as he slowly turned to Enchanted only to find her lying on her back, laughing, as she kicked her feet into the air.
Slanted got up to the door and said, “Good night, mom.”. And with that, he shut the door, locked it and turned back to Enchanted.
“And that’s why I lock my door when I play with my action figures.”
“Dude, would rather she walked in on you doing something else?”
Slanted had to think about it. “No, but the thought seems a little less embarrassing than this for some reason.”
“I can dig that. Are you done?”
Slanted looked back at his toy ring and two figures and then turned back to Enchanted. “Yeah, I think so.”.
…
…
…
“Obo’s gonna kill me.”, Slanted murmured. “I’m f*cked.”
Truth be told, this wasn’t the way Slanted wanted to start things off. For weeks, he had known that he was going to be facing Philip “Obo” Schneider for his WFWF debut on Loaded. He knew he had lots of time to prepare and get himself ready. While he knew that he couldn’t push himself up to Obo’s level, he knew that he could at least put up a fight.
… All he had to do was work at it.
“I’m f*cked.”, Slanted hissed as he slumped down his chair and reached for his bong Slanted took a long hit off the pipe and gave himself a moment to hold in the smoke to at least settle him.
He’d be calm… He could think about the match better this way.
“I’m f*cked!”
Slanted took another hit off the bong and paced around his room. As a fan, he had followed Philip Schneider from his time as Obo and to his return, which seemed all the more violent to him because here was a wrestler who could legitimately hurt you and as stupid as the thought came, Slanted just realized that yes, wrestling does hurt.
...It hurts a lot.
Holding the bong in his hand, Slanted opened the drawer where he kept all his action figures and quickly assembled his wrestling ring and rolled some figures out on his floor. It took a little while, but within a few minutes, he had a small arena on the floor before him, complete with a small entrance curtain and a smattering of fans.
Reaching for a poorly customized Slanted figure that looked like it was put together with a Sharpie, Slanted hummed Pearl Jam’s “Go” as he walked his figure ringside.
He made the Slanted figure slide into the ring and just like the real Slanted, the toy Slanted started pacing around the ring.
And then, Slanted started humming out “All or Nothing” and within moments, he was holding his own badly customized Philip Schneider action figure, leading it through the entrance curtain as he heard the imaginary howl of excitement from the small crowd he assembled.
Once the Philip Schneider figure was inside the ring, it wasted no time in jumping the Slanted figure. Slanted positioned the Philip Schneider figure over the Slanted figure and started pummeling his own figure with heinous stomps across the chest.
“For weeks I had known this match was coming… It wasn’t like I wasn’t excited or ready, I was! I told my friends, I told my mom, and I told my girlfriend about my first match. How often does a newcomer get to square off against the WFWF World Heavyweight Champion?
I’m not a stranger to all this… I known who Philip Schneider is, I’ve been following him for years. I figured if I trained hard enough and got myself into the mindset, that maybe I could stand a fighting chance… That maybe I could put him down and cement myself in the history of the WFWF as someone who really can.
But I f*cked myself over… Yeah, I can blame school and I can blame something else. But I won’t. The truth is that I’m not as ready as I thought I was and that’s pretty crippling. Every day leading up until now, the thought slowly sunk itself into the back of my neck.
I was ready for the bite… It just so happened that I ended up biting myself in my own ass and I was too stupid to even see it until I felt my own bite against my neck and now I’m as f*cked as I ever was…
Not cool… Not cool.”
The Philip Schneider figure tossed the Slanted figure out of the ring and began working him on the outside.
“But I guess my biggest problem in all this was the idea that I can’t beat you. Why is something that never happened so ingrained into my mind that I can’t even let my own action figure beat you up?
It’s like, it’s there… And I can’t do anything about it. I just have to accept that on Loaded, you’re going to kill me.
Regardless if it’s Wayne McGurk or Reverend Shadow or Michael Kyzer, you got through all these men… Men, who are more powerful than me, but men, who at one point or another, were more powerful than you… But you showed them. You showed them that you had more and you were vicious about that.”
Slanted took the Philip Schneider figure and held it up before him. “Why can’t I be more like you?”
Slanted held up the Slanted figure in the other hand. “And be a hell of a lot less like me!”
Slanted threw the figures down on the ground and reached into his drawer for an assortment of weapons, equipping both figures with they’re own steel chairs.
Holding up his figure again, Slanted looked at it and murmured, “Maybe… Just maybe.”
The two figures stood before each other outside the ring.
… This is it. The chance for Slanted to do anything he wanted. Somehow, things were balanced.
The Slanted figure made a fake swing at the Philip Schneider figure before running away from him by slipping into the ring.
The Philip Schneider figure reached for Slanted’s legs, pulled him outside and swung the chair, but the Slanted figure ducked it and hit him with his own chair.
“Maybe I do have a chance.”
Slanted put the two figures inside the ring and set the chairs up to face each other. Propping the toys on their respective chairs, the Slanted figure and the Philip Schneider figure began exchanging blows in a seated position in the center of the ring.
“Maybe I can’t win, but as long as I have it in me, I do have a fighting chance. I know you’re going to hurt me and I know you’re going to mark me in your long list of wrestler’s you’ve proudly put away like throphies, but this is my first match, and lucky for me, I barely know myself. So for all I know, I can surprise you. Maybe I can kick you’re a**, maybe I can somehow pull up a win.
I can do it… At least I think I can.
The worst that could happen is that I lose the match, but at least I would have somehow survived- that’s gotta count for something… Right?”
Slanted was getting himself ready to pull off a major spot between the chairs, when he heard a knock on the door.
“Mom, I’m busy!”
… That was his code word for “spanking the monkey”. He hated it, but then again, his mother never understood the concept of knocking.
“Dude, it’s me!”, Enchanted shot out
Quickly, Slanted got to his feet and opened the door.
Enchanted gave him a kiss and slid herself into his room. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting something, was I?”
Slanted pointed down to the action figures on the floor.
Enchanted smiled and tapped his cheek. “You know that still qualifies as a form of masturbation.”
“Shut up.”, Slanted scoffed, playfully, as he wrapped his arms around her
“You ready for the match?”
“I think so.”
“Still paranoid about getting beat up?”
“Of course I am.”
Enchanted grabbed the Slanted figure and the Philip Schneider figure and held it up. “At least you’re toys are making you feel better.”
A small grin formed across Slanted’s face… The girl had a way of pointing out the gay in almost anything and as strange as it was, it did a good job of getting him to laugh a bit.
“I know.”, Slanted shot back. “At least I’m not doing it alone.”
Enchanted held up the Philip Schneider figure. “Right?! And look, you’re toy’s got company.”
Slanted grabbed the Philip Schneider figure from Enchanted’s hand, murmuring, “Shut up and let me finish playing with my figures.”
“Be my guest, my good man.”
Slanted sat down ‘injun’ style around his miniature ring and started running the figures through the match again while Enchanted made herself comfortable on Slanted’s bed, packing another bowl into the bong.
Not noticing the open door, Slanted heard the sound of his mom’s voice break through the cool buzz he and Enchanted had going as she said, “Awww… Look at my little baby boy, playing with his little toys!”
Slanted’s eyes popped out of his skull as he slowly turned to Enchanted only to find her lying on her back, laughing, as she kicked her feet into the air.
Slanted got up to the door and said, “Good night, mom.”. And with that, he shut the door, locked it and turned back to Enchanted.
“And that’s why I lock my door when I play with my action figures.”
“Dude, would rather she walked in on you doing something else?”
Slanted had to think about it. “No, but the thought seems a little less embarrassing than this for some reason.”
“I can dig that. Are you done?”
Slanted looked back at his toy ring and two figures and then turned back to Enchanted. “Yeah, I think so.”.
I dont know good luck 
