Post by Kyzer on May 7, 2012 13:44:10 GMT -5
I see things for what they truly are. I see people for who they are, not the show they put on in front of everyone.
I can tell when someone doesn’t have my best interest at heart. What kind of person doesn’t put Michael Kyzer first in their heart? Crazy, I know.
I know when Pierce decided to make my rightful rematch a complicated piece of sh~t; it was an injustice. Why should either of those pussies get an opportunity with me? Raider loses to Ace and gets a title shot, Hutton disappears after losing a couple of matches and also gets a title shot, since when do we reward failure?
Xavier must be banking that these cocksuckers can carry the company to the future. Is that future he wants? Does he really want to build it on the backs of two broken men?
In case you missed it, I looked f~cking great out there in my return to action. I guess this no drugs thing actually works. I can’t remember the last time I felt that good while utterly decimating someone. And I got a laugh out of Obo as his excuse for missing me with that kick was just plain weak. I am not stoned any more asshat, faster reaction time now. Common sense just evades some people.
Enough about all that as I see the spectacle that was Drake Elias before me. This was a hot kid coming up in the ranks. He even beat my boy, David. But then he loses to Trace…what the f~ck…I was speechless…
That just shows that the victory over Brennan was a fluke.
Drake, you lost to Trace Demon. Just go ahead and kill yourself…loser…
Trace was someone that I have made my bitch, Drakz made him his bitch, and he made you his bitch. Do you follow my logic here? Did you learn anything over in the Soviet Bloc? Have you gained any common sense living in the America’s dickhole that is Miami?
So eat yourself a dick, get yourself ready to be schooled, get ready to see what a wrestling clinic is like, and basically prepare to get your ass kicked. Quite simple, that is what is going to happen.
F~ck Drake Elias, plain and simple.
Everyone seems to be under this assumption that The New Epoch is just a group of guys getting together with the purpose of just f~cking sh~t up. I mean it is that, and to Brennan it might just be that, but to me, it is more…I see more when I look at The New Epoch. I see an enterprise, a brand, something that will be remembered as Iconic. I see as something that must be worked on, something that needs attention. We have the foundation, now we add the brick and mortar. Anything great needs to be shared with the world. Everyone needs to understand. I may have lost you out there with what I am talking about.
The New Epoch is more than just a stable; it is more than just a group of like-minded people. We intend to show that very soon.
It will be Epic…
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4/29/2012
If I had known it would be that easy I would have gotten clean a long time ago. I look out the window of the car, well SUV; DMK would never drive a practical car for a midget. The cost to modify it so he could drive it was almost as much as people pay for a Kia. It costs some money to outfit a Denali for a midget. I stare at the sand dunes that line the roads of Nags Head, North Carolina. I have definitely enjoyed the Outer Banks. It was the perfect place to deal with withdrawal. While the physical effects have disappeared, I still have that hunger in the back of my head. I haven’t figured out how to feed that without the food being drugs. Smashing Dane didn’t really do anything for me. And the ridiculous attempt of the Jew to take off my head was an utter failure. Go ahead and say that you missed on purpose, no one believes that bullsh~t. That is like saying that Ryan Braun didn’t take steroids. The Jew is full of sh~t, always has been and always will be.
Michael: So what was up with that Ruskie broad you brought back to the place a few nights ago?
DMK: She blew me, but when I went to go give her Big D, it was her hair...
A moment passes before I realize that he isn’t following that up with anything.
Michael: Why would that stop you?
Do midgets have a natural fear of pubic hair? That would probably explain why DMK is a clean freak. His Denali is immaculate right now. He cried when I threw up in it during my withdrawal. He immediately took it to get clean rather than be concerned with my health. I can’t get mad at him though, he has it hard enough.
DMK: Well…does this have to be videotaped?
I had forgotten about EBR in the back seat recording all this. He didn’t go the show, because of his suspension obviously, but he did make the trip and recorded nearly everything. He is really into this movie thing. He keeps talking his ticket to Cannes. I don’t know why anyone would want to go to France, but E says he prefers French people to Mormons. I guess I see the logic in that.
EBR: Yes. It will probably only end up on the director’s cut or something. Keep going this is interesting.
DMK: One of my sex stories is interesting to people?
Michael: Of course. You are a midget, bro. That makes everything funny.
He stares at me with his angry little eyes.
DMK: You are only trying to distract E from the question he asked you.
EBR: I haven’t forgotten. This is just priceless though.
Michael: So why did hair bother you?
DMK: It was everywhere. She looked like a werewolf all the way to her toes.
Michael: Get the f~ck out of here.
How does someone get to their 30’s and let a little fur stop him from getting laid?
DMK: Now back to you. Answer his question.
I don’t see why I should or even need to. It isn’t something that I particularly care about.
EBR: Michael Kyzer, how do you feel about the return of Meg Warner? She was once someone who shared many intimate moments with right?
Michael: If by intimate you mean, turned her out like the whore she was or is, then yeah, you could say that. Personally I don’t care. I remember throwing her to the side, crushing her and her fairy brother. Why does it matter that she even returned? Because she is with the Jew? That doesn’t matter. She can do what she wants, she is insignificant to me.
E finally cuts the camera off. Sometimes it is a little much to not have any privacy.
EBR: That was too generic. We will re-shoot it at the house.
Michael: Why? What does this have to do with your project of my self-rehab?
EBR: Well I have decided to expand it to a man facing the trials and tribulations of being a recovering drug addict and professional wrestler who is trying to rebuild his career.
Was that a thinly veiled insult? I don’t think he meant it as one. I guess losing to the World Title to Schneider is a near career killer. I even admit that it was pathetic.
EBR: So there is something I want to talk to you about.
I wonder where this will lead. I have a lot on my plate with everything going on in the WFWF. I don’t need one of EBR’s Magic Adventures right now. Drake Elias may end up being a pain in the ass. I actually study my opponent these days. Amazing the turnaround isn’t it?
Michael: About?
EBR: So I saw that interview you did back at the beginning of the year in Rolling Stone, and saw you poor attempt at shedding some positive light on yourself.
The article that caused a girl to commit suicide, that probably wasn’t one of my finest moments by normal standards. I definitely caught some sh~t on that one.
Michael: What about it?
EBR: I thought it was a good idea, you getting positive attention. The article was awful itself. But I think putting you in a positive light will be a great idea for when my movie comes out. It will make you more marketable.
When did this Canuck become so business savvy?
Michael: When did you get a marketing degree?
EBR: It doesn’t take a genius to realize that with you being the focus of my movie you will be seen as the face of it. It will be about you and how you appear to the world, how they receive you will determine how successful it will be. I mean people know who you are from wrestling and tabloids. But this will expose you to a new audience. This will be something for people to form a first impression or even change their initial take on you. Speaking from personal experience, you aren’t very likable at first.
That isn’t the first time I have heard that.
Michael: So basically you want me to give the world a reason to like me?
EBR: That is one way to put it.
DMK: If you are such a great director why does he need to change? He is already getting soft by not partying anymore.
EBR: People won’t show up if they completely hate him.
Michael: And I need to stay away from that if I intend to take my sobriety seriously.
DMK: I don’t see why you had to stop. You are a legend man, you set the standard and now you just quit. You would call yourself a p~ssy.
He has a point. In several weeks I have done a 180° turn with my lifestyle. By the standards I used to live my life, he would be right. But not now…this is different. I didn’t turn away from the drugs because I don’t like them anymore. I still crave them every day. Living life with a clear head is very…well…different than the fog I used to exist in. While I miss that fog, I find myself with a new vitality. I have more of a purpose than I had in years. Let’s be real, I came back to satisfy my ego. It isn’t about that anymore. I am still the most arrogant man on the planet, my ego definitely overshadows the man’s in the back seat whether he will admit it or not. But now, I have a reason to put it aside. It isn’t that clear to people like DMK who still partake in those things. DMK doesn’t really view things like I do either. He doesn’t look towards the future or the big picture. He is a man who exists in the moment. With a shorter lifespan, I can understand the dwarf’s desire to embrace every aspect of life. I wholeheartedly respect him for it too.
Michael: It isn’t my scene anymore.
It doesn’t matter how I explain it to him. He won’t understand. He makes most of his income from people like Old Kyzer, to him sobriety is just gibberish. DMK is loyal though. Despite disagreeing with me, he understands that I am still Michael Kyzer. I am still a badass.
EBR: So when we get back to the office, we will go over the plans I have in mind. It will give me a chance to give people a sneak peak at genius.
So the overly expensive beach house that I am renting is now E’s office? Who says you never stop learning?
Michael: What exactly do you have in mind?
As soon as the words escape my mouth we roll up to E’s office. Before E could answer me my phone begins to ring. I step out of the Denali and look at the caller ID.
Michael: I will catch up to you guys in a minute.
I walk towards the beach after getting some ways from the house I answer the phone.
Seth: So you finally answer. I was wondering if I was going to be forced to leave you another message. I am glad that you finally care enough about yourself that you finally drag yourself from whatever bender or whore you are in the middle of.
Dickhead.
Michael: I got your messages. It wasn’t a good time for me to talk though.
Seth: Really? What is more important than you being the subject of a murder investigation?
Michael: Getting sober?
Wait…did he say murder investigation?
Seth: Are you making a joke? Because I really don’t have the time to listen to some horsesh~t comedy routine.
I really f~cking hate my lawyer. If he wasn’t so good or well if his firm wasn’t so established and ruthless, then I would have cut ties years ago. Even when we were family this guy hated me. You would think after 12 years he would let some sh~t go.
Michael: I am not joking. I am sober. What is this about a murder investigation?
Seth: I won’t believe it until I see the drug test in front of me, and I mean Olympic testing. I know that you have ways of passing other types. And yeah, you are being investigated for the murder of Callista Decker.
What? That doesn’t make sense.
Michael: How exactly can I be investigated for murder of someone that nobody can find?
Seth: Apparently some guy came forward and said that you attacked him and Callista on New Year’s Eve. That was the same night of the fire too. So yeah that is happening too. I have delayed them issuing a warrant for your arrest since they can’t find the body. But they are going to bring up assault charges against you soon.
Sh~t. What timing. I feel this more as an annoyance than anything else. F~cking guy just had to open his mouth about me beating the sh~t out of him.
Michael: Well I got a great defense.
Seth: What’s that, you’re sober?
Michael: First cocksucker, I am sober. Second how can I be charged with killing someone who isn’t dead?
Seth: Say that again.
This isn’t exactly what I wanted to happen since it will help their arson case against me. The world just likes to raw dog you without lube sometimes. This is one of those times.
Michael: Callista isn’t dead. She is in South America. Brazil actually.
Seth: I thought she lied about that. I never hooked her up with any job. I have no reason to help out anyone who had a bastard with you.
Michael: My bank records have record of the plane ticket I purchased her that night. I made her leave, hence the house being burned down, which I didn’t do either.
Seth: Do you have proof of that? If I give them access to your bank records to prove the purchase of the ticket, it will make their case against you for the arson and the assault. You could be looking at jail time given you have a history with the legal system of Washington.
Michael: I do. I won’t be able to give it to you until I come home though.
Seth: When will that be?
Michael: Next month. We have a show in Seattle soon. I am coming home for that.
Seth: You better have something good.
Michael: I will. Also set up the drug testing.
Seth: Seriously? You really want to take a drug test?
Michael: I am completely sober. If that is what it takes to convince you that I am, then I will do it.
Seth: Why does what I think matter? I could care less about you generally.
Michael: Because I have some other things I want to talk to you about and you are going to think that I am f~cked up when we talk about them.
Seth: Alright. I’ll set it up.
He hangs up. That is Seth Xavier. Great lawyer, huge bunghole. I think there is something that says to succeed at being a lawyer, you have to be a giant, oversized douchebag. I put the phone in my pocket and look out at the water before me. It is has a peaceful quality to it. This isn’t something that I would have ever taken the time to notice and enjoy if I was high. Maybe DMK is right, maybe I am becoming a p~ssy.
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4/29/2012
I walk into E’s office and find him pouring over what looks like a script while lounging on the couch. I look around, where is the midget? The seven bedrooms offer enough for the two and half occupants that are staying in the luxurious house. Every man needs his space but it can be annoying to find a little person in a big house. He can hide under stuff and has all the other special skills that come from being four foot even.
Michael: Where’s the hobbit?
DMK: I can’t be a hobbit. I am hairless, Tolkien made them out to be hairy bastards. I shave everything.
As if on cue, DMK enters the room and physically disgusts me by talking about being a hairless midget. I want to throw up with the visualization that he has put into my head.
Michael: I am surprised you know who Tolkien is.
DMK: Of course he wrote those books after those ring movies came out.
E looks up from whatever he is reading and just stares at DMK with a look of disbelief. He is thinking the same thing I am, but I decide to change the subject. DMK gets testy when you insult his intelligence.
Michael: Anyways, I need you to go see that guy I told you about from that party that was on fire.
Here is where he excels though. I don’t have to say anything else, he already knows who I am talking about, and DMK has street savvy.
DMK: Where are my bolt cutters?
Michael: Why would I know where they are? I don’t keep track of your sh~t.
He just nods and walks off as if it was also scripted. I look over at E and he is now staring at me.
EBR: I am not going to pretend I understood that. Should I ask?
I walk over to towards E and sit in a chair off to the side of the couch he occupies. Windows line the wall across from allowing the sun to illuminate the room. I take a minute to process everything in my head before answering. I wonder how much to tell him and what to keep to myself. I have no reason to distrust E yet, our purposes have overlapped conveniently so far. I actually find myself liking the guy. Great minds get along I guess despite ego. I am sure if we were striving for the same thing, then this wouldn’t be such a cordial arrangement. I have seen how his friendships have gone south with nearly everyone. First DGX, then Alex, I am sure Calvin Lee even wrote him off, and he was the perennial joke of the WFWF for years. To be rejected by Calvin has to really hurt. I should take some sympathy on the guy. He just needs to support as he tries to find new ground under his feet. My thoughts feel like a soap opera playing out in my head. I see scenarios and drama in all directions. Sobriety is turning me into a woman.
Michael: I told you he had uses. And since he isn’t selling me drugs, this is one of those uses.
EBR: Bolt cutters?
Michael: Just think about it for a minute.
He does and a second later his face winces at the thought of what I mean.
EBR: I don’t need to know anything else. While I got you here, check this out.
He hands me the script he was reading. I glance over of the first page and flip to the next. I don’t really know what to say. I am trying to picture the words on the page in my head, the scene, the mood, the dialogue…and nothing.
Michael: This is what you had in mind to get my image up?
EBR: Yeah. Brilliant isn’t it?
That is one word for it. I just shake my head as I ponder this. I begin reading over the first page again. This is calling for me to do something that I never thought I would do in my life. And now EBR wants me to do some very questionable things. I mean, I know my boundaries have been loose in the past, but this is a bit far-fetched for me.
EBR: I think it will have some surprise factor to it.
Surprise is definitely the appropriate word. I toss it on the table between us. I lean back in the chair and rub my eyes as I think about it. My thought process and decision making process is so different these days since I stopped smoking weed and other things. I find myself thinking about my actions beforehand instead of just jumping head first. Some would call that a good thing, I am still getting used to it.
EBR: I know people have their doubts about you. I saw Drakz’s and Brennan’s faces when you told them about the abstemious lifestyle. I saw the reservations they had. They question it now, they may not tell you to your face they do but how can they not have their doubts. This will help quash any doubt that anyone has that you are drug free.
Michael: It isn’t so much them doubting me staying drug free than them understanding the reasoning behind it. I have several years on Drakz and Brennan. They both rely heavily on their self-medication to get through life. I didn’t. I didn’t need it I chose to engage in it because I could. After I lost to Schneider I realized something that I wasn’t the same as I was when I first got into this business. My desires extended beyond just the next bender and next floozy. I have a real goal with The New Epoch. To accomplish that, I need to put that at the front of my priorities. That means giving up the drugs. I am not Scott Weiland who is only talented when he is high on heroin, I am just as dangerous clear headed.
I do have a goal in mind with The New Epoch. There is an endgame to all of it. Losing to Schneider pisses me off to almost no end but it may have been one of the initial reasons among many why I kicked my habits. However everything is starting to extend beyond the scope of him and his angry little world. Before I can go about accomplishing what I want, I have to crush any doubts in me. If that means doing something that even the Great Kyzer is hesitant to do then so be it. If that means oppressing an immigrant from the sh~thole that is Eastern Europe then so be it. If that means ripping the lungs out of Schneider and pissing on his corpse then I will do it. I will pillage, murder and destroy anything and everyone now that I am on this track.
Michael: I will do it. I am on this path, and to turn off now would just make me lose more face than I did when I lost to the Jew. This better work the way you are hoping it does or this could just cause me more problems.
Kyzer doesn’t need more problems. I am not trying to get my existence overly convoluted with so many multiple sets of drama that I lose focus on the overall picture. I am better than that. I am better than everyone. I intend to forever stain the WFWF with Kyzer. My legacy is far from dead, it hasn’t even been cemented in concrete yet. That sh~t is still pouring.
I can tell when someone doesn’t have my best interest at heart. What kind of person doesn’t put Michael Kyzer first in their heart? Crazy, I know.
I know when Pierce decided to make my rightful rematch a complicated piece of sh~t; it was an injustice. Why should either of those pussies get an opportunity with me? Raider loses to Ace and gets a title shot, Hutton disappears after losing a couple of matches and also gets a title shot, since when do we reward failure?
Xavier must be banking that these cocksuckers can carry the company to the future. Is that future he wants? Does he really want to build it on the backs of two broken men?
In case you missed it, I looked f~cking great out there in my return to action. I guess this no drugs thing actually works. I can’t remember the last time I felt that good while utterly decimating someone. And I got a laugh out of Obo as his excuse for missing me with that kick was just plain weak. I am not stoned any more asshat, faster reaction time now. Common sense just evades some people.
Enough about all that as I see the spectacle that was Drake Elias before me. This was a hot kid coming up in the ranks. He even beat my boy, David. But then he loses to Trace…what the f~ck…I was speechless…
That just shows that the victory over Brennan was a fluke.
Drake, you lost to Trace Demon. Just go ahead and kill yourself…loser…
Trace was someone that I have made my bitch, Drakz made him his bitch, and he made you his bitch. Do you follow my logic here? Did you learn anything over in the Soviet Bloc? Have you gained any common sense living in the America’s dickhole that is Miami?
So eat yourself a dick, get yourself ready to be schooled, get ready to see what a wrestling clinic is like, and basically prepare to get your ass kicked. Quite simple, that is what is going to happen.
F~ck Drake Elias, plain and simple.
Everyone seems to be under this assumption that The New Epoch is just a group of guys getting together with the purpose of just f~cking sh~t up. I mean it is that, and to Brennan it might just be that, but to me, it is more…I see more when I look at The New Epoch. I see an enterprise, a brand, something that will be remembered as Iconic. I see as something that must be worked on, something that needs attention. We have the foundation, now we add the brick and mortar. Anything great needs to be shared with the world. Everyone needs to understand. I may have lost you out there with what I am talking about.
The New Epoch is more than just a stable; it is more than just a group of like-minded people. We intend to show that very soon.
It will be Epic…
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4/29/2012
If I had known it would be that easy I would have gotten clean a long time ago. I look out the window of the car, well SUV; DMK would never drive a practical car for a midget. The cost to modify it so he could drive it was almost as much as people pay for a Kia. It costs some money to outfit a Denali for a midget. I stare at the sand dunes that line the roads of Nags Head, North Carolina. I have definitely enjoyed the Outer Banks. It was the perfect place to deal with withdrawal. While the physical effects have disappeared, I still have that hunger in the back of my head. I haven’t figured out how to feed that without the food being drugs. Smashing Dane didn’t really do anything for me. And the ridiculous attempt of the Jew to take off my head was an utter failure. Go ahead and say that you missed on purpose, no one believes that bullsh~t. That is like saying that Ryan Braun didn’t take steroids. The Jew is full of sh~t, always has been and always will be.
Michael: So what was up with that Ruskie broad you brought back to the place a few nights ago?
DMK: She blew me, but when I went to go give her Big D, it was her hair...
A moment passes before I realize that he isn’t following that up with anything.
Michael: Why would that stop you?
Do midgets have a natural fear of pubic hair? That would probably explain why DMK is a clean freak. His Denali is immaculate right now. He cried when I threw up in it during my withdrawal. He immediately took it to get clean rather than be concerned with my health. I can’t get mad at him though, he has it hard enough.
DMK: Well…does this have to be videotaped?
I had forgotten about EBR in the back seat recording all this. He didn’t go the show, because of his suspension obviously, but he did make the trip and recorded nearly everything. He is really into this movie thing. He keeps talking his ticket to Cannes. I don’t know why anyone would want to go to France, but E says he prefers French people to Mormons. I guess I see the logic in that.
EBR: Yes. It will probably only end up on the director’s cut or something. Keep going this is interesting.
DMK: One of my sex stories is interesting to people?
Michael: Of course. You are a midget, bro. That makes everything funny.
He stares at me with his angry little eyes.
DMK: You are only trying to distract E from the question he asked you.
EBR: I haven’t forgotten. This is just priceless though.
Michael: So why did hair bother you?
DMK: It was everywhere. She looked like a werewolf all the way to her toes.
Michael: Get the f~ck out of here.
How does someone get to their 30’s and let a little fur stop him from getting laid?
DMK: Now back to you. Answer his question.
I don’t see why I should or even need to. It isn’t something that I particularly care about.
EBR: Michael Kyzer, how do you feel about the return of Meg Warner? She was once someone who shared many intimate moments with right?
Michael: If by intimate you mean, turned her out like the whore she was or is, then yeah, you could say that. Personally I don’t care. I remember throwing her to the side, crushing her and her fairy brother. Why does it matter that she even returned? Because she is with the Jew? That doesn’t matter. She can do what she wants, she is insignificant to me.
E finally cuts the camera off. Sometimes it is a little much to not have any privacy.
EBR: That was too generic. We will re-shoot it at the house.
Michael: Why? What does this have to do with your project of my self-rehab?
EBR: Well I have decided to expand it to a man facing the trials and tribulations of being a recovering drug addict and professional wrestler who is trying to rebuild his career.
Was that a thinly veiled insult? I don’t think he meant it as one. I guess losing to the World Title to Schneider is a near career killer. I even admit that it was pathetic.
EBR: So there is something I want to talk to you about.
I wonder where this will lead. I have a lot on my plate with everything going on in the WFWF. I don’t need one of EBR’s Magic Adventures right now. Drake Elias may end up being a pain in the ass. I actually study my opponent these days. Amazing the turnaround isn’t it?
Michael: About?
EBR: So I saw that interview you did back at the beginning of the year in Rolling Stone, and saw you poor attempt at shedding some positive light on yourself.
The article that caused a girl to commit suicide, that probably wasn’t one of my finest moments by normal standards. I definitely caught some sh~t on that one.
Michael: What about it?
EBR: I thought it was a good idea, you getting positive attention. The article was awful itself. But I think putting you in a positive light will be a great idea for when my movie comes out. It will make you more marketable.
When did this Canuck become so business savvy?
Michael: When did you get a marketing degree?
EBR: It doesn’t take a genius to realize that with you being the focus of my movie you will be seen as the face of it. It will be about you and how you appear to the world, how they receive you will determine how successful it will be. I mean people know who you are from wrestling and tabloids. But this will expose you to a new audience. This will be something for people to form a first impression or even change their initial take on you. Speaking from personal experience, you aren’t very likable at first.
That isn’t the first time I have heard that.
Michael: So basically you want me to give the world a reason to like me?
EBR: That is one way to put it.
DMK: If you are such a great director why does he need to change? He is already getting soft by not partying anymore.
EBR: People won’t show up if they completely hate him.
Michael: And I need to stay away from that if I intend to take my sobriety seriously.
DMK: I don’t see why you had to stop. You are a legend man, you set the standard and now you just quit. You would call yourself a p~ssy.
He has a point. In several weeks I have done a 180° turn with my lifestyle. By the standards I used to live my life, he would be right. But not now…this is different. I didn’t turn away from the drugs because I don’t like them anymore. I still crave them every day. Living life with a clear head is very…well…different than the fog I used to exist in. While I miss that fog, I find myself with a new vitality. I have more of a purpose than I had in years. Let’s be real, I came back to satisfy my ego. It isn’t about that anymore. I am still the most arrogant man on the planet, my ego definitely overshadows the man’s in the back seat whether he will admit it or not. But now, I have a reason to put it aside. It isn’t that clear to people like DMK who still partake in those things. DMK doesn’t really view things like I do either. He doesn’t look towards the future or the big picture. He is a man who exists in the moment. With a shorter lifespan, I can understand the dwarf’s desire to embrace every aspect of life. I wholeheartedly respect him for it too.
Michael: It isn’t my scene anymore.
It doesn’t matter how I explain it to him. He won’t understand. He makes most of his income from people like Old Kyzer, to him sobriety is just gibberish. DMK is loyal though. Despite disagreeing with me, he understands that I am still Michael Kyzer. I am still a badass.
EBR: So when we get back to the office, we will go over the plans I have in mind. It will give me a chance to give people a sneak peak at genius.
So the overly expensive beach house that I am renting is now E’s office? Who says you never stop learning?
Michael: What exactly do you have in mind?
As soon as the words escape my mouth we roll up to E’s office. Before E could answer me my phone begins to ring. I step out of the Denali and look at the caller ID.
Michael: I will catch up to you guys in a minute.
I walk towards the beach after getting some ways from the house I answer the phone.
Seth: So you finally answer. I was wondering if I was going to be forced to leave you another message. I am glad that you finally care enough about yourself that you finally drag yourself from whatever bender or whore you are in the middle of.
Dickhead.
Michael: I got your messages. It wasn’t a good time for me to talk though.
Seth: Really? What is more important than you being the subject of a murder investigation?
Michael: Getting sober?
Wait…did he say murder investigation?
Seth: Are you making a joke? Because I really don’t have the time to listen to some horsesh~t comedy routine.
I really f~cking hate my lawyer. If he wasn’t so good or well if his firm wasn’t so established and ruthless, then I would have cut ties years ago. Even when we were family this guy hated me. You would think after 12 years he would let some sh~t go.
Michael: I am not joking. I am sober. What is this about a murder investigation?
Seth: I won’t believe it until I see the drug test in front of me, and I mean Olympic testing. I know that you have ways of passing other types. And yeah, you are being investigated for the murder of Callista Decker.
What? That doesn’t make sense.
Michael: How exactly can I be investigated for murder of someone that nobody can find?
Seth: Apparently some guy came forward and said that you attacked him and Callista on New Year’s Eve. That was the same night of the fire too. So yeah that is happening too. I have delayed them issuing a warrant for your arrest since they can’t find the body. But they are going to bring up assault charges against you soon.
Sh~t. What timing. I feel this more as an annoyance than anything else. F~cking guy just had to open his mouth about me beating the sh~t out of him.
Michael: Well I got a great defense.
Seth: What’s that, you’re sober?
Michael: First cocksucker, I am sober. Second how can I be charged with killing someone who isn’t dead?
Seth: Say that again.
This isn’t exactly what I wanted to happen since it will help their arson case against me. The world just likes to raw dog you without lube sometimes. This is one of those times.
Michael: Callista isn’t dead. She is in South America. Brazil actually.
Seth: I thought she lied about that. I never hooked her up with any job. I have no reason to help out anyone who had a bastard with you.
Michael: My bank records have record of the plane ticket I purchased her that night. I made her leave, hence the house being burned down, which I didn’t do either.
Seth: Do you have proof of that? If I give them access to your bank records to prove the purchase of the ticket, it will make their case against you for the arson and the assault. You could be looking at jail time given you have a history with the legal system of Washington.
Michael: I do. I won’t be able to give it to you until I come home though.
Seth: When will that be?
Michael: Next month. We have a show in Seattle soon. I am coming home for that.
Seth: You better have something good.
Michael: I will. Also set up the drug testing.
Seth: Seriously? You really want to take a drug test?
Michael: I am completely sober. If that is what it takes to convince you that I am, then I will do it.
Seth: Why does what I think matter? I could care less about you generally.
Michael: Because I have some other things I want to talk to you about and you are going to think that I am f~cked up when we talk about them.
Seth: Alright. I’ll set it up.
He hangs up. That is Seth Xavier. Great lawyer, huge bunghole. I think there is something that says to succeed at being a lawyer, you have to be a giant, oversized douchebag. I put the phone in my pocket and look out at the water before me. It is has a peaceful quality to it. This isn’t something that I would have ever taken the time to notice and enjoy if I was high. Maybe DMK is right, maybe I am becoming a p~ssy.
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4/29/2012
I walk into E’s office and find him pouring over what looks like a script while lounging on the couch. I look around, where is the midget? The seven bedrooms offer enough for the two and half occupants that are staying in the luxurious house. Every man needs his space but it can be annoying to find a little person in a big house. He can hide under stuff and has all the other special skills that come from being four foot even.
Michael: Where’s the hobbit?
DMK: I can’t be a hobbit. I am hairless, Tolkien made them out to be hairy bastards. I shave everything.
As if on cue, DMK enters the room and physically disgusts me by talking about being a hairless midget. I want to throw up with the visualization that he has put into my head.
Michael: I am surprised you know who Tolkien is.
DMK: Of course he wrote those books after those ring movies came out.
E looks up from whatever he is reading and just stares at DMK with a look of disbelief. He is thinking the same thing I am, but I decide to change the subject. DMK gets testy when you insult his intelligence.
Michael: Anyways, I need you to go see that guy I told you about from that party that was on fire.
Here is where he excels though. I don’t have to say anything else, he already knows who I am talking about, and DMK has street savvy.
DMK: Where are my bolt cutters?
Michael: Why would I know where they are? I don’t keep track of your sh~t.
He just nods and walks off as if it was also scripted. I look over at E and he is now staring at me.
EBR: I am not going to pretend I understood that. Should I ask?
I walk over to towards E and sit in a chair off to the side of the couch he occupies. Windows line the wall across from allowing the sun to illuminate the room. I take a minute to process everything in my head before answering. I wonder how much to tell him and what to keep to myself. I have no reason to distrust E yet, our purposes have overlapped conveniently so far. I actually find myself liking the guy. Great minds get along I guess despite ego. I am sure if we were striving for the same thing, then this wouldn’t be such a cordial arrangement. I have seen how his friendships have gone south with nearly everyone. First DGX, then Alex, I am sure Calvin Lee even wrote him off, and he was the perennial joke of the WFWF for years. To be rejected by Calvin has to really hurt. I should take some sympathy on the guy. He just needs to support as he tries to find new ground under his feet. My thoughts feel like a soap opera playing out in my head. I see scenarios and drama in all directions. Sobriety is turning me into a woman.
Michael: I told you he had uses. And since he isn’t selling me drugs, this is one of those uses.
EBR: Bolt cutters?
Michael: Just think about it for a minute.
He does and a second later his face winces at the thought of what I mean.
EBR: I don’t need to know anything else. While I got you here, check this out.
He hands me the script he was reading. I glance over of the first page and flip to the next. I don’t really know what to say. I am trying to picture the words on the page in my head, the scene, the mood, the dialogue…and nothing.
Michael: This is what you had in mind to get my image up?
EBR: Yeah. Brilliant isn’t it?
That is one word for it. I just shake my head as I ponder this. I begin reading over the first page again. This is calling for me to do something that I never thought I would do in my life. And now EBR wants me to do some very questionable things. I mean, I know my boundaries have been loose in the past, but this is a bit far-fetched for me.
EBR: I think it will have some surprise factor to it.
Surprise is definitely the appropriate word. I toss it on the table between us. I lean back in the chair and rub my eyes as I think about it. My thought process and decision making process is so different these days since I stopped smoking weed and other things. I find myself thinking about my actions beforehand instead of just jumping head first. Some would call that a good thing, I am still getting used to it.
EBR: I know people have their doubts about you. I saw Drakz’s and Brennan’s faces when you told them about the abstemious lifestyle. I saw the reservations they had. They question it now, they may not tell you to your face they do but how can they not have their doubts. This will help quash any doubt that anyone has that you are drug free.
Michael: It isn’t so much them doubting me staying drug free than them understanding the reasoning behind it. I have several years on Drakz and Brennan. They both rely heavily on their self-medication to get through life. I didn’t. I didn’t need it I chose to engage in it because I could. After I lost to Schneider I realized something that I wasn’t the same as I was when I first got into this business. My desires extended beyond just the next bender and next floozy. I have a real goal with The New Epoch. To accomplish that, I need to put that at the front of my priorities. That means giving up the drugs. I am not Scott Weiland who is only talented when he is high on heroin, I am just as dangerous clear headed.
I do have a goal in mind with The New Epoch. There is an endgame to all of it. Losing to Schneider pisses me off to almost no end but it may have been one of the initial reasons among many why I kicked my habits. However everything is starting to extend beyond the scope of him and his angry little world. Before I can go about accomplishing what I want, I have to crush any doubts in me. If that means doing something that even the Great Kyzer is hesitant to do then so be it. If that means oppressing an immigrant from the sh~thole that is Eastern Europe then so be it. If that means ripping the lungs out of Schneider and pissing on his corpse then I will do it. I will pillage, murder and destroy anything and everyone now that I am on this track.
Michael: I will do it. I am on this path, and to turn off now would just make me lose more face than I did when I lost to the Jew. This better work the way you are hoping it does or this could just cause me more problems.
Kyzer doesn’t need more problems. I am not trying to get my existence overly convoluted with so many multiple sets of drama that I lose focus on the overall picture. I am better than that. I am better than everyone. I intend to forever stain the WFWF with Kyzer. My legacy is far from dead, it hasn’t even been cemented in concrete yet. That sh~t is still pouring.
