Post by veronicaaaahhhh on Dec 5, 2013 1:39:26 GMT -5
(Mikes note: So, work, life, a girlfriend and other commitments prevented me from me really doing a lot with this piece, which is a shame because I really did have a lot in store for this piece. But then again, I've been running with a dry muse for awhile now and much of my attention has been paid on building up Penny in the years, both in and away from WF.
Anyways, here's what I managed to write for the bit. Congrats Trace! Maybe in a while, I'll just give you a real fight for that title.)
WFWF.Com Exclusive: Scarlett Quinn’s Open Message to Trace Demon
“Trace Demon, you’ve been a very, very bad man… And as much as I’m going to try to use this against you, there’s no denying that not only are you aware of how terrible you are, you actually thrive on it- you get off on it. It’s your reason for living and it’s a poor excuse for the human being you’ve come to be.
“And the thing that really kills me the most is that once upon a time ago, I used to look up to you. I wanted to be you- more than my dad or my mom, when I first set foot into a wrestling ring there was no one else I wanted to be but you.
“I held myself to the same standards and I made sure that the ground I walked on commanded at least inch of the authority you did when you stepped in between those ropes. I wanted to be the bad man who would stop at nothing to get what they wanted, that people would fear me and bend over backwards just to accommodate my needs without having to even do anything.
“I wanted to be the real deal, but little did I know, I was just picking up whatever crumbs you left along the way like somesort of wannabe heel.”
Scarlett paused and sighed.
“I’ve seen you do many terrible things and I’d be lying when I say that I didn’t enjoy some of it, because I did. But as blind and as stupid and naïve as I was, in all that time, I just always thought that I was an exception. You were part of our family and I thought we were part of yours- I gave you the faith that you would never try to hurt me. But you did.
“You can lie to yourself and remind everyone around you that this isn’t personal, that I had this coming. But you always knew, right before you ever laid a finger on me that this was going to get personal and that’s what you want, that’s what you like. Because owning a wrestling promotion and being World Champion isn’t enough for you- no, when you want something, you will go out of your way to make sure that nothing can stop you no matter how many lives you leave broken along the way!
“And all for what- a wrestling match?! Seriously Trace, are you really that insecure about your own abilities inside that ring that you actually have to f*ck up someone’s life just in order to beat them in a wrestling match?
“The tinted veil has been lifted from my eyes and Trace Demon, I see you for what you are: a coward. A coward who tries to compensate for his lack of any actual wrestling ability by being the biggest a**hole in the wrestling world!
“One could compare your depravity to Phillip Schneider or Michael Kyzer or Drazk, but the thing that separates them from you is that they can wrestle. They do what they do because they know what that when it comes down to it, they could deliver so much more inside a wrestling ring- which is something you’ve spent you’re entire career running away from.
“Trace Demon, you’re not a wrestler. You’re just a megalomaniac who didn’t have the guts to actually take over the world, so you let it out in the one place you can get away with it: professional wrestling. You waited for the Kyzers and the Schneiders to finish up their turns before you decided to make a move- at least I had the nerve to step up to the plate even if I wasn’t ready for it- and that’s why you’ve been doing everything you could to throw me off and scare me, because you know deep down that when it comes to it, I can make your life a living hell inside a wrestling ring in ways you can’t even allow yourself to imagine. You can deny it all you want, but it’s there.
“I saw the fear in your eyes on Revolution when you broke my best friend- I saw the fear in your eyes when you broke my father- a man who colored you brother. If you really are as confident as you boast yourself to be, all you would have needed to do was to call me out to the ring and issue me a challenge that I would have gladly given you! But no, you had to hurt the people close to me, you had to try to get to me emotionally, because you know in that festering pit you call a soul that I am so much better than you.
“Come Scars and Stripes, Trace Demon you will pay for all the crimes you’ve committed against your opponents and the people they love, you’re going to pay for all the crimes you committed to me and my family, and I am not going to stop until I put you away myself. Because I don’t care how hard you hurt me- I am strong, I’m ready to take it all because for every ounce of pain you send knocking into my cranium, I’m coming back tenfold and I swear on my Grandfather’s life that I will beat your sorry a** so hard that you’re never, ever going to forget the beating you received at the hands of a nineteen year old girl.
“I am the WFWF World Champion and nothing, and I mean nothing is taking this belt away from me. When I beat you, I usher in a new era in the WFWF that celebrates actual in-ring talent over ego-driven politics- an era driven by pure athletic competition.
Trace Demon, you can do what you want, say what you want, but there’s no chance in hell I’m making you walk away from Scars and Stripes as the WFWF Champion and I’m going to see it to it that when it’s all over, no one in this promotion will ever see you again.”.
Penny took the spot on the floor between Mama Sandoval and Scarlett and sat down in’jun style. Placing the joint between her lips, Penny puffed away until she had just the right kind of ember she wanted, burning up a perfect circle.
Penny took the first hit and politely passed it over to Mama Sandoval.
Mama Sandoval held up the joint, “Para mi nieta, Scarlett. Que ella tenga una vida hermosa!”
Penny leaned towards Scarlett and murmured, “What did she say?”
“I think she just dedicated that joint to my honor…”, Scarlett replied. “Or something like that.”
“Ah.”
Mama Sandoval took a nice, clean pulled and passed the joint back to Penny.
Penny held up the joint and shrugged. “Since we’re dedicating crapto you… TO SCARLETT! MAY SHE KILL TRACE DEMON!”
Penny hit that joint hard; leaning back, Penny let the smoke fill her mouth until she took all that good crapin and passed it over to Scarlett.
Scarlett rolled the joint in her hand and sighed.
“Everything alright, nieta?”
Scarlett turned to her grandmother. “I’m fine, abuelita. I’m just trying to figure out what I want to dedicate this smoke to.”
Penny let a string of smoke clear from her lips and turned to Scarlett, saying, “Anything you want.”
“F*ck it.”, Scarlett said, taking the joint to her lips for a pull. “To no one else but me!”
Scarlett hit the joint and pulled it away, closing her eyes now as she let the smoke fill her.
“You could have said something stronger.”
“Like what?”, Scarlett coughed, passing the joint back to Penny.
“I don’t know.”, Penny replied, hitting the joint. “Something like how you want to kill Trace and keep your title?”
Penny passed the joint to Mama Sandoval.
“Uhm, I’m already going to do that.”
“You can always say it again.”
Mama Sandoval took another pull from the joint.
“That title is all I have left now.”, Scarlett said. “Like hell I’m allowing anyone to take that away from me.”
Mama Sandoval blew out smoke and passed the joint back to Penny. “You see that, Penny? My granddaughter is still inside there!”
“Thank you, abuelita.”
Mama Sandoval nodded with a soft smile.
“No, I mean it. Like thank you for saying that in English.”
Penny took a mean hit off the joint and passed it back to Scarlett. “Seriously girl, don’t show his ass any mercy at all. You know what he did and you know what he’ll try to do should you beat him-”
“-You mean when I beat him.”, Scarlett said, cutting Penny off as she took the joint now.
“Exactly!”, Penny shot back. “Which means that when you beat him, you’re going to have to kick his hardcore-metrosexual ass-”
“Hardcore Metrosexual a**?!”, Scarlett coughed out as she passed the joint back to Penny
“I wouldn’t say it’s gothy, even if it is a little.”
“Oh, Trace is too proud to be any kind of emo.”
“For sure, hun.”, Penny said, bringing the joint back to her lips for another hit. “Though the man does enjoy his guyliner- not to mention the dyed anime hair and the hot pants… I mean, it’s still really queer without coming across like-“
“A fag?”
Penny just had to xD.
“Scarlett!”, Mama Sandoval hissed. “Watch your language.”
“She didn’t call Trace a fag.”, Penny said, blowing out smoke as she passed Mama Sandoval the joint.
“I just accused him of looking like one.”
Mama Sandoval rolled her eyes and took a pull from the joint, trying to really hold herself back from showing how much she actually enjoyed the discussion.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if Alexa’s really in charge of Trace.”
“Like he’s her little bitch and he bends over and takes it when no one’s looking.”
Scarlett looked at Penny. “You’ve seen him do some f*cked up sh*t, haven’t you?”
Penny grinned. “I’ll leave it to your imagination, hun. It’s a lot more fun that way.”
Mama Sandoval blew out a trail of smoke and passed the joint back to Penny. “Enough with that you two.”
“Oh come on, abuelita!”, Scarlett shot out. “Trace beat the sh*t outta me, Penny, and my Dad- the least I can do is attack his masculinity.”
“Or the alleged lack there off.”, Penny blurted as Mama Sandoval passed the joint back to her.
“You’re better than this, you know that don’t you?”
Penny hit the joint and passed it over to Scarlett.
“Oh, I sure I am.”, Scarlett said, relaxing as she let back fall onto the surface of the swing. “But Trace has this coming- at the very least, right outside of beating him; I can get with accusing him under ‘false’ pretenses.”
Mama Sandoval rolled her eyes up again and pushed herself off her chair and headed back inside the house, swinging the doors open as she cursed, “Mi mi mi nieta. Usted siempre será el mismo ahora, no importa lo mucho que cambien las cosas.”
Scarlett hit the joint and closed her eyes. “I love you too, abuelita.”.
Anyways, here's what I managed to write for the bit. Congrats Trace! Maybe in a while, I'll just give you a real fight for that title.)
WFWF.Com Exclusive: Scarlett Quinn’s Open Message to Trace Demon
“Trace Demon, you’ve been a very, very bad man… And as much as I’m going to try to use this against you, there’s no denying that not only are you aware of how terrible you are, you actually thrive on it- you get off on it. It’s your reason for living and it’s a poor excuse for the human being you’ve come to be.
“And the thing that really kills me the most is that once upon a time ago, I used to look up to you. I wanted to be you- more than my dad or my mom, when I first set foot into a wrestling ring there was no one else I wanted to be but you.
“I held myself to the same standards and I made sure that the ground I walked on commanded at least inch of the authority you did when you stepped in between those ropes. I wanted to be the bad man who would stop at nothing to get what they wanted, that people would fear me and bend over backwards just to accommodate my needs without having to even do anything.
“I wanted to be the real deal, but little did I know, I was just picking up whatever crumbs you left along the way like somesort of wannabe heel.”
Scarlett paused and sighed.
“I’ve seen you do many terrible things and I’d be lying when I say that I didn’t enjoy some of it, because I did. But as blind and as stupid and naïve as I was, in all that time, I just always thought that I was an exception. You were part of our family and I thought we were part of yours- I gave you the faith that you would never try to hurt me. But you did.
“You can lie to yourself and remind everyone around you that this isn’t personal, that I had this coming. But you always knew, right before you ever laid a finger on me that this was going to get personal and that’s what you want, that’s what you like. Because owning a wrestling promotion and being World Champion isn’t enough for you- no, when you want something, you will go out of your way to make sure that nothing can stop you no matter how many lives you leave broken along the way!
“And all for what- a wrestling match?! Seriously Trace, are you really that insecure about your own abilities inside that ring that you actually have to f*ck up someone’s life just in order to beat them in a wrestling match?
“The tinted veil has been lifted from my eyes and Trace Demon, I see you for what you are: a coward. A coward who tries to compensate for his lack of any actual wrestling ability by being the biggest a**hole in the wrestling world!
“One could compare your depravity to Phillip Schneider or Michael Kyzer or Drazk, but the thing that separates them from you is that they can wrestle. They do what they do because they know what that when it comes down to it, they could deliver so much more inside a wrestling ring- which is something you’ve spent you’re entire career running away from.
“Trace Demon, you’re not a wrestler. You’re just a megalomaniac who didn’t have the guts to actually take over the world, so you let it out in the one place you can get away with it: professional wrestling. You waited for the Kyzers and the Schneiders to finish up their turns before you decided to make a move- at least I had the nerve to step up to the plate even if I wasn’t ready for it- and that’s why you’ve been doing everything you could to throw me off and scare me, because you know deep down that when it comes to it, I can make your life a living hell inside a wrestling ring in ways you can’t even allow yourself to imagine. You can deny it all you want, but it’s there.
“I saw the fear in your eyes on Revolution when you broke my best friend- I saw the fear in your eyes when you broke my father- a man who colored you brother. If you really are as confident as you boast yourself to be, all you would have needed to do was to call me out to the ring and issue me a challenge that I would have gladly given you! But no, you had to hurt the people close to me, you had to try to get to me emotionally, because you know in that festering pit you call a soul that I am so much better than you.
“Come Scars and Stripes, Trace Demon you will pay for all the crimes you’ve committed against your opponents and the people they love, you’re going to pay for all the crimes you committed to me and my family, and I am not going to stop until I put you away myself. Because I don’t care how hard you hurt me- I am strong, I’m ready to take it all because for every ounce of pain you send knocking into my cranium, I’m coming back tenfold and I swear on my Grandfather’s life that I will beat your sorry a** so hard that you’re never, ever going to forget the beating you received at the hands of a nineteen year old girl.
“I am the WFWF World Champion and nothing, and I mean nothing is taking this belt away from me. When I beat you, I usher in a new era in the WFWF that celebrates actual in-ring talent over ego-driven politics- an era driven by pure athletic competition.
Trace Demon, you can do what you want, say what you want, but there’s no chance in hell I’m making you walk away from Scars and Stripes as the WFWF Champion and I’m going to see it to it that when it’s all over, no one in this promotion will ever see you again.”.
Los Angeles was always too bright a city for Scarlett. It was like, there were lights and signs telling you about something everywhere you looked that it was impossible to actually get anything done without getting the least bit distracted by something as trivial as hamburgers.
It was nothing she dwelt too much on. It was just one of those things where every so often, she’d drive past a place that advertised its hamburgers and naturally, there was that tiny voice inside Scarlett’s head reminding her to try them the next time she passed through those parts.
But even then, Scarlett didn’t mind thinking about it. If anything, they were a welcome distraction that lifted the weight of guilt and the inevitable let down off her shoulders. You know what, to hell with it, Scarlett knew she was driving back to Phoenix alone with one of those burgers. At least she had something to look forward to, because she was not looking forward to driving to Trace’s house at all.
Hmph, among all the places she had to come to tonight, this was it… But she had something to do, she had something to do.
Scarlett was already more than half-way through the box of Winston Lights she bought before leaving Tempe- there was four sticks left in the pack of twenty. Only four sticks- the girl was chainsmoking and the moment she stopped the car right in front of Trace’s drive-way, she just had to light up another.
F*ck.
Scarlett lit another cigarette and ran Penny up. She was using one of those ringback tones; you know, that service people pay extra for to have a song they like play into the first caller’s end. It was like calling someone and being reminded why you were calling someone without having to hear the other person talk. It’s stupid.
Penny had on “Rebel Girl” by Bikini Kill; she was considering it to be a potential theme song and she wanted to see how people reacted to it. It took a while, but Penny answered.
“Hey, you awake?”, Scarlett said, holding the phone on her palm as she took the call on speaker.
“Ish.”, Penny yawned. “What’s up?”
“I’m here- in Trace’s house. About to talk to Emily.”
“You’ve got some nerve, hun.”
“I know, right?”, Scarlett shrugged taking a long drag off her cigarette. “I’m scared. It’s almost like I’m more scared about telling her than I am of her brother.”
“You know, that’s actually a good thing.”
“F*ck, I don’t want to do this.”
“You don’t have to. It’s going to be something you’ll have to live with, but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I know.”, Penny sighed. “I really don’t know what else to tell you at this point but ‘good luck’.”
“That’s all I need.” Scarlett sighed. “… This really sucks.”
“It always does, hun.”
“Geez, that’s helpful.”
“Look, I’m no stranger to a situation like that and as much as I try to prove that it doesn’t suck to myself, it just does. It always does. You’re going to have to take a deep breath and just hope for the best.”
“Ha.”
“It is what it is.”
Scarlett ticked ash off her cigarette and brought it close for a drag, “Whatever, I’m doing this. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Call me back, alright?”
“Yeah.”, Scarlett said, killing the call as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. Scarlett took another drag and leaned back against the driver’s seat, taking a deep breath now as she tried to force every nerve in her being to actually get up and do it alright.
Scarlett held up her smoke and brought it close for another sweet drag; the pull and the smoke calming her as she felt her heart start skipping a beat.
Scarlett was already determined to finish off her cigarette when she heard the knock from the window. Scarlett looked over and rolled down the window, “Emily?”
“Hey.”, Emily said softly leaning into the car as she tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“How’d you know I was out here?”
“You’ve been parked here for a while now.”
Scarlett rolled up her eyes. “Is Trace home?”
“No.”, Emily replied, turning her head. “… So, how’s this going to work? Do I get in the car or do you want to come out of it and see me?”
“I think it’ll be better for the both of us if you came inside.”
Emily nodded and took the passenger’s seat, closing the door as soon as she got in. It was obvious she was waiting for Scarlett to do more than just say ‘hello’, but as much as she wanted to, it would kill Scarlett to show her any kind of affection right now. After what she did with that girl all those nights ago, it wouldn’t feel right to hold Emily that way- it wouldn’t feel pure.
“I don’t think I can remember the last time I saw you.”
Scarlett started up the car. “I’ve been busy.”
“Yeah? With having to fight Trace and all, I figure you’ve had a rough few weeks.”
“Hmph.”
“What is it?”
Scarlett pulled the car away from the driveway and replied, “It’s nothing.”
“I really wish you would let me in.”, Emily sighed. “It’s hard for me to feel like a good girlfriend if I’m not making something the least bit better for you.”
Scarlett broke. Why did she have to say that? “Don’t say that. You’ve been a great girlfriend.”
“But?”
“…”
“Scarlett, I haven’t seen you in weeks. I can’t call you without expecting you to not answer. It’s like you’ve cut me off.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Then tell me what I can do.”, Emily said, reaching out her hand so slowly that Scarlett wasn’t sure if she wanted to touch her. “Tell me what’s been going on and how I can fix it, because you’ve been gone for so long that I don’t even know if I know you.”
“I’m sorry if it’s been awhile. I needed to be alone.”
“Don’t you remember what I told you?”
Scarlett nodded.
“Whatever happens to you, I want to be there. I don’t care how you messed up you feel, I don’t even care if you don’t want me to be there. I just want to be there, I love you.”
Scarlett found a spot and parked the car. “Why do you have to be this way?”
“What do you mean?”
“All sweet like this!”, Scarlett shot back, popping another cigarette between her lips. “It makes me sick. Yeah, I wanted a girlfriend, but I didn’t think it was going to be like this. Clingy.”
“Wh-what’s gotten into you?”
“I don’t need this.”, Scarlett said, closing her eyes. “I never needed any of this.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but I’m not believing it.”
“Yet.”, Scarlett said sternly, pulling the cigarette from her lips and exhaling
Emily got closer. “Whatever this is, I know this isn’t you. You’re just under a lot of stress.”
Scarlett sat there, still smoking.
“Scarlett, please.”, Emily said out loud, touching Scarlett’s hip.
“Don’t touch me.”
Emily nodded and moved her hand away.
“You stupid girl, you stupid, stupid girl… I was fine, I was okay. Everything was okay and you had to come along and I ended up liking you, a lot more than I should and I gave into all that mushy sh*t and for what? To feel like half the person I used to be. And I love you, and I hate it.”
Emily wrapped her arms around Scarlett, but Scarlett pushed her away and held herself in her seat.
“Why do you have to be so sweet, huh? Why the f*ck do you have to be so supportive- like all this would be so much easier if you were a b*tch. Like right now, I wish you were a b*tch.”
“Would you listen to yourself.”
Scarlett was, and she just wanted- no, she didn’t know what she wanted.
“I cheated on you.”, Scarlett said, looking right into Emily’s eyes. “I cheated on you with another girl.”
“… You cheated on me?”
“I did.”
Emily opened the door and stormed out of the car.
Scarlett wanted to run after Emily, but she just couldn’t do it. When she closed her eyes and felt the gentle rush of cigarette smoke pass through her system, she saw herself running out of the car and walking after Emily, just hold out her hand just wanting to touch the back of her shoulder and tell her how sorry she was.
Maybe Scarlett was too proud… Maybe Emily made her mind and never wanted to see her again. Maybe it was a bit of those two things, but whatever it was it kept Scarlett inside the car, puffing away at that cigarette and by the time she looked up, Emily was long gone.
“… I’m sorry.”, Scarlett sighed. “I am so sorry.”
Feeling the saline pond swell beneath her eyes, Scarlett clenched every muscle in her body, took a deep breath and started the car.
So, this was it… No more girlfriend and the company of a stupid burger you apparently couldn’t get anywhere else to keep her company on the drive back to Phoenix.
“Wrestlers don’t cry… Wrestlers don’t cry.”.
The drive back to Phoenix was an hour shorter than Scarlett expected. Outside of those stupid hamburgers, there really was no point in hanging around L.A. for too long and to the girl’s surprise, she had made it back home with enough time to light up a smoke and watch the sunrise with Mama Sandoval.
It was the sight of the sandy beige from the desert that somehow managed to weave into the darkness of the night, colliding together into mesh of colors that no one would see anywhere else that really brought Scarlett back to her senses.
Scarlett pulled into the driveway and found Mama Sandoval, sitting alone in the front porch.
“¡Buenos noches, abuelita!"
“¡Buenos noches, neita!”, Mama Sandoval answered, smiling. “Estás en casa antes de lo esperado.”
Scarlett couldn’t handle the Spanish. It was one of those things that she understood, but her grasp of the language was always so limited that it would take her a good moment to form together a halfway decent reply. Not being in the mood to process a second language, Scarlett answered in English. “I’ve exhausted my Spanish for tonight.”
“I had a feeling.”
Scarlett rubbed her eyes, made the walk up the porch and greeted her grandmother with a peck on the cheek. “Thank you for replying in English.”
Scarlett dropped herself on the porch swing and sighed.
“Rough night?”
“It’s that obvious, huh?”
Mama Sandoval sipped her tea and nodded.
Scarlett dished out another cigarette and lit it. “My girlfriend and I broke up and now, if I’m not careful, I can lose my title.”
Mama Sandoval closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.”, Scarlett waved off, taking another pull now. “I brought this all on myself.”
“I’m glad you’re starting to own up.”
“I was bound to sooner or later.”
Mama Sandoval opened her eyes and sipped her tea. “What made you come around?”
“Honestly?”, Scarlett turned to her grandmother. “I was just tired.”
“I hope you are aware that a lot of good can come from this.”
“I’m sure, there is.”
“But you don’t see it yet, do you?”
“No matter how hard I try.”
Mama Sandoval set her mug of tea on the floor, rose from her seat and approached the porch swing, leaving over to kiss her granddaughter on the top of her head. “Oh nieta, cómo me gustaría que le puede dar los ojos para ver lo cerca que está a algo bueno.”
It took a moment for Scarlett to coherently process all that Spanish. “… You want me to see something from your eyes?”
Mama Sandoval laughed as she knelt and ran her fingers over Scarlett’s hair. “I said that I wish you could see how close how close you are to something good through my eyes.”
“… Is it me? Or does it just sound better in Spanish.”
“There’s no arguing with that.”
Scarlett could help but laugh.
Mama Sandoval brushed her hair and smiled. “Now, that’s the Scarlett I want to see more of again.”
Scarlett took a pull of her cigarette. “But how can I be that person again if I’ve already taken such a beating?”
“You get up.”
Scarlett blew smoke. “Easier said than done.”
“Believe me, you’re better off letting go of all of that and just picking up the pieces from where the old you left off.”. Mama Sandoval looked down and sighed. “It sure as hell beats getting out of shape and feeling terrible.”
The woman had a point. “I’m going to remember that.”
“Good.”, Mama Sandoval smiled, standing up now as she picked up her mug and headed towards the door. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Roll a joint?” Scarlett grinned
“Go wake up Penny.”.
It wasn’t hard to wake Penny up; all Scarlett had to do was ask her if she could roll a joint and the Velocity Grrrl was up on her feet.
Penny walked into the porch with her head shrugged over her shoulder, getting her hair bopped up into her usual pigtails. She took out the joint from the pouch of her hoodie and held it up. “Ladies, care for a smoke?”
It was nothing she dwelt too much on. It was just one of those things where every so often, she’d drive past a place that advertised its hamburgers and naturally, there was that tiny voice inside Scarlett’s head reminding her to try them the next time she passed through those parts.
But even then, Scarlett didn’t mind thinking about it. If anything, they were a welcome distraction that lifted the weight of guilt and the inevitable let down off her shoulders. You know what, to hell with it, Scarlett knew she was driving back to Phoenix alone with one of those burgers. At least she had something to look forward to, because she was not looking forward to driving to Trace’s house at all.
Hmph, among all the places she had to come to tonight, this was it… But she had something to do, she had something to do.
Scarlett was already more than half-way through the box of Winston Lights she bought before leaving Tempe- there was four sticks left in the pack of twenty. Only four sticks- the girl was chainsmoking and the moment she stopped the car right in front of Trace’s drive-way, she just had to light up another.
F*ck.
Scarlett lit another cigarette and ran Penny up. She was using one of those ringback tones; you know, that service people pay extra for to have a song they like play into the first caller’s end. It was like calling someone and being reminded why you were calling someone without having to hear the other person talk. It’s stupid.
Penny had on “Rebel Girl” by Bikini Kill; she was considering it to be a potential theme song and she wanted to see how people reacted to it. It took a while, but Penny answered.
“Hey, you awake?”, Scarlett said, holding the phone on her palm as she took the call on speaker.
“Ish.”, Penny yawned. “What’s up?”
“I’m here- in Trace’s house. About to talk to Emily.”
“You’ve got some nerve, hun.”
“I know, right?”, Scarlett shrugged taking a long drag off her cigarette. “I’m scared. It’s almost like I’m more scared about telling her than I am of her brother.”
“You know, that’s actually a good thing.”
“F*ck, I don’t want to do this.”
“You don’t have to. It’s going to be something you’ll have to live with, but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I know.”, Penny sighed. “I really don’t know what else to tell you at this point but ‘good luck’.”
“That’s all I need.” Scarlett sighed. “… This really sucks.”
“It always does, hun.”
“Geez, that’s helpful.”
“Look, I’m no stranger to a situation like that and as much as I try to prove that it doesn’t suck to myself, it just does. It always does. You’re going to have to take a deep breath and just hope for the best.”
“Ha.”
“It is what it is.”
Scarlett ticked ash off her cigarette and brought it close for a drag, “Whatever, I’m doing this. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Call me back, alright?”
“Yeah.”, Scarlett said, killing the call as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. Scarlett took another drag and leaned back against the driver’s seat, taking a deep breath now as she tried to force every nerve in her being to actually get up and do it alright.
Scarlett held up her smoke and brought it close for another sweet drag; the pull and the smoke calming her as she felt her heart start skipping a beat.
Scarlett was already determined to finish off her cigarette when she heard the knock from the window. Scarlett looked over and rolled down the window, “Emily?”
“Hey.”, Emily said softly leaning into the car as she tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“How’d you know I was out here?”
“You’ve been parked here for a while now.”
Scarlett rolled up her eyes. “Is Trace home?”
“No.”, Emily replied, turning her head. “… So, how’s this going to work? Do I get in the car or do you want to come out of it and see me?”
“I think it’ll be better for the both of us if you came inside.”
Emily nodded and took the passenger’s seat, closing the door as soon as she got in. It was obvious she was waiting for Scarlett to do more than just say ‘hello’, but as much as she wanted to, it would kill Scarlett to show her any kind of affection right now. After what she did with that girl all those nights ago, it wouldn’t feel right to hold Emily that way- it wouldn’t feel pure.
“I don’t think I can remember the last time I saw you.”
Scarlett started up the car. “I’ve been busy.”
“Yeah? With having to fight Trace and all, I figure you’ve had a rough few weeks.”
“Hmph.”
“What is it?”
Scarlett pulled the car away from the driveway and replied, “It’s nothing.”
“I really wish you would let me in.”, Emily sighed. “It’s hard for me to feel like a good girlfriend if I’m not making something the least bit better for you.”
Scarlett broke. Why did she have to say that? “Don’t say that. You’ve been a great girlfriend.”
“But?”
“…”
“Scarlett, I haven’t seen you in weeks. I can’t call you without expecting you to not answer. It’s like you’ve cut me off.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Then tell me what I can do.”, Emily said, reaching out her hand so slowly that Scarlett wasn’t sure if she wanted to touch her. “Tell me what’s been going on and how I can fix it, because you’ve been gone for so long that I don’t even know if I know you.”
“I’m sorry if it’s been awhile. I needed to be alone.”
“Don’t you remember what I told you?”
Scarlett nodded.
“Whatever happens to you, I want to be there. I don’t care how you messed up you feel, I don’t even care if you don’t want me to be there. I just want to be there, I love you.”
Scarlett found a spot and parked the car. “Why do you have to be this way?”
“What do you mean?”
“All sweet like this!”, Scarlett shot back, popping another cigarette between her lips. “It makes me sick. Yeah, I wanted a girlfriend, but I didn’t think it was going to be like this. Clingy.”
“Wh-what’s gotten into you?”
“I don’t need this.”, Scarlett said, closing her eyes. “I never needed any of this.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but I’m not believing it.”
“Yet.”, Scarlett said sternly, pulling the cigarette from her lips and exhaling
Emily got closer. “Whatever this is, I know this isn’t you. You’re just under a lot of stress.”
Scarlett sat there, still smoking.
“Scarlett, please.”, Emily said out loud, touching Scarlett’s hip.
“Don’t touch me.”
Emily nodded and moved her hand away.
“You stupid girl, you stupid, stupid girl… I was fine, I was okay. Everything was okay and you had to come along and I ended up liking you, a lot more than I should and I gave into all that mushy sh*t and for what? To feel like half the person I used to be. And I love you, and I hate it.”
Emily wrapped her arms around Scarlett, but Scarlett pushed her away and held herself in her seat.
“Why do you have to be so sweet, huh? Why the f*ck do you have to be so supportive- like all this would be so much easier if you were a b*tch. Like right now, I wish you were a b*tch.”
“Would you listen to yourself.”
Scarlett was, and she just wanted- no, she didn’t know what she wanted.
“I cheated on you.”, Scarlett said, looking right into Emily’s eyes. “I cheated on you with another girl.”
“… You cheated on me?”
“I did.”
Emily opened the door and stormed out of the car.
Scarlett wanted to run after Emily, but she just couldn’t do it. When she closed her eyes and felt the gentle rush of cigarette smoke pass through her system, she saw herself running out of the car and walking after Emily, just hold out her hand just wanting to touch the back of her shoulder and tell her how sorry she was.
Maybe Scarlett was too proud… Maybe Emily made her mind and never wanted to see her again. Maybe it was a bit of those two things, but whatever it was it kept Scarlett inside the car, puffing away at that cigarette and by the time she looked up, Emily was long gone.
“… I’m sorry.”, Scarlett sighed. “I am so sorry.”
Feeling the saline pond swell beneath her eyes, Scarlett clenched every muscle in her body, took a deep breath and started the car.
So, this was it… No more girlfriend and the company of a stupid burger you apparently couldn’t get anywhere else to keep her company on the drive back to Phoenix.
“Wrestlers don’t cry… Wrestlers don’t cry.”.
<***>
The drive back to Phoenix was an hour shorter than Scarlett expected. Outside of those stupid hamburgers, there really was no point in hanging around L.A. for too long and to the girl’s surprise, she had made it back home with enough time to light up a smoke and watch the sunrise with Mama Sandoval.
It was the sight of the sandy beige from the desert that somehow managed to weave into the darkness of the night, colliding together into mesh of colors that no one would see anywhere else that really brought Scarlett back to her senses.
Scarlett pulled into the driveway and found Mama Sandoval, sitting alone in the front porch.
“¡Buenos noches, abuelita!"
“¡Buenos noches, neita!”, Mama Sandoval answered, smiling. “Estás en casa antes de lo esperado.”
Scarlett couldn’t handle the Spanish. It was one of those things that she understood, but her grasp of the language was always so limited that it would take her a good moment to form together a halfway decent reply. Not being in the mood to process a second language, Scarlett answered in English. “I’ve exhausted my Spanish for tonight.”
“I had a feeling.”
Scarlett rubbed her eyes, made the walk up the porch and greeted her grandmother with a peck on the cheek. “Thank you for replying in English.”
Scarlett dropped herself on the porch swing and sighed.
“Rough night?”
“It’s that obvious, huh?”
Mama Sandoval sipped her tea and nodded.
Scarlett dished out another cigarette and lit it. “My girlfriend and I broke up and now, if I’m not careful, I can lose my title.”
Mama Sandoval closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.”, Scarlett waved off, taking another pull now. “I brought this all on myself.”
“I’m glad you’re starting to own up.”
“I was bound to sooner or later.”
Mama Sandoval opened her eyes and sipped her tea. “What made you come around?”
“Honestly?”, Scarlett turned to her grandmother. “I was just tired.”
“I hope you are aware that a lot of good can come from this.”
“I’m sure, there is.”
“But you don’t see it yet, do you?”
“No matter how hard I try.”
Mama Sandoval set her mug of tea on the floor, rose from her seat and approached the porch swing, leaving over to kiss her granddaughter on the top of her head. “Oh nieta, cómo me gustaría que le puede dar los ojos para ver lo cerca que está a algo bueno.”
It took a moment for Scarlett to coherently process all that Spanish. “… You want me to see something from your eyes?”
Mama Sandoval laughed as she knelt and ran her fingers over Scarlett’s hair. “I said that I wish you could see how close how close you are to something good through my eyes.”
“… Is it me? Or does it just sound better in Spanish.”
“There’s no arguing with that.”
Scarlett could help but laugh.
Mama Sandoval brushed her hair and smiled. “Now, that’s the Scarlett I want to see more of again.”
Scarlett took a pull of her cigarette. “But how can I be that person again if I’ve already taken such a beating?”
“You get up.”
Scarlett blew smoke. “Easier said than done.”
“Believe me, you’re better off letting go of all of that and just picking up the pieces from where the old you left off.”. Mama Sandoval looked down and sighed. “It sure as hell beats getting out of shape and feeling terrible.”
The woman had a point. “I’m going to remember that.”
“Good.”, Mama Sandoval smiled, standing up now as she picked up her mug and headed towards the door. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Roll a joint?” Scarlett grinned
“Go wake up Penny.”.
It wasn’t hard to wake Penny up; all Scarlett had to do was ask her if she could roll a joint and the Velocity Grrrl was up on her feet.
Penny walked into the porch with her head shrugged over her shoulder, getting her hair bopped up into her usual pigtails. She took out the joint from the pouch of her hoodie and held it up. “Ladies, care for a smoke?”
Penny took the spot on the floor between Mama Sandoval and Scarlett and sat down in’jun style. Placing the joint between her lips, Penny puffed away until she had just the right kind of ember she wanted, burning up a perfect circle.
Penny took the first hit and politely passed it over to Mama Sandoval.
Mama Sandoval held up the joint, “Para mi nieta, Scarlett. Que ella tenga una vida hermosa!”
Penny leaned towards Scarlett and murmured, “What did she say?”
“I think she just dedicated that joint to my honor…”, Scarlett replied. “Or something like that.”
“Ah.”
Mama Sandoval took a nice, clean pulled and passed the joint back to Penny.
Penny held up the joint and shrugged. “Since we’re dedicating crapto you… TO SCARLETT! MAY SHE KILL TRACE DEMON!”
Penny hit that joint hard; leaning back, Penny let the smoke fill her mouth until she took all that good crapin and passed it over to Scarlett.
Scarlett rolled the joint in her hand and sighed.
“Everything alright, nieta?”
Scarlett turned to her grandmother. “I’m fine, abuelita. I’m just trying to figure out what I want to dedicate this smoke to.”
Penny let a string of smoke clear from her lips and turned to Scarlett, saying, “Anything you want.”
“F*ck it.”, Scarlett said, taking the joint to her lips for a pull. “To no one else but me!”
Scarlett hit the joint and pulled it away, closing her eyes now as she let the smoke fill her.
“You could have said something stronger.”
“Like what?”, Scarlett coughed, passing the joint back to Penny.
“I don’t know.”, Penny replied, hitting the joint. “Something like how you want to kill Trace and keep your title?”
Penny passed the joint to Mama Sandoval.
“Uhm, I’m already going to do that.”
“You can always say it again.”
Mama Sandoval took another pull from the joint.
“That title is all I have left now.”, Scarlett said. “Like hell I’m allowing anyone to take that away from me.”
Mama Sandoval blew out smoke and passed the joint back to Penny. “You see that, Penny? My granddaughter is still inside there!”
“Thank you, abuelita.”
Mama Sandoval nodded with a soft smile.
“No, I mean it. Like thank you for saying that in English.”
Penny took a mean hit off the joint and passed it back to Scarlett. “Seriously girl, don’t show his ass any mercy at all. You know what he did and you know what he’ll try to do should you beat him-”
“-You mean when I beat him.”, Scarlett said, cutting Penny off as she took the joint now.
“Exactly!”, Penny shot back. “Which means that when you beat him, you’re going to have to kick his hardcore-metrosexual ass-”
“Hardcore Metrosexual a**?!”, Scarlett coughed out as she passed the joint back to Penny
“I wouldn’t say it’s gothy, even if it is a little.”
“Oh, Trace is too proud to be any kind of emo.”
“For sure, hun.”, Penny said, bringing the joint back to her lips for another hit. “Though the man does enjoy his guyliner- not to mention the dyed anime hair and the hot pants… I mean, it’s still really queer without coming across like-“
“A fag?”
Penny just had to xD.
“Scarlett!”, Mama Sandoval hissed. “Watch your language.”
“She didn’t call Trace a fag.”, Penny said, blowing out smoke as she passed Mama Sandoval the joint.
“I just accused him of looking like one.”
Mama Sandoval rolled her eyes and took a pull from the joint, trying to really hold herself back from showing how much she actually enjoyed the discussion.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if Alexa’s really in charge of Trace.”
“Like he’s her little bitch and he bends over and takes it when no one’s looking.”
Scarlett looked at Penny. “You’ve seen him do some f*cked up sh*t, haven’t you?”
Penny grinned. “I’ll leave it to your imagination, hun. It’s a lot more fun that way.”
Mama Sandoval blew out a trail of smoke and passed the joint back to Penny. “Enough with that you two.”
“Oh come on, abuelita!”, Scarlett shot out. “Trace beat the sh*t outta me, Penny, and my Dad- the least I can do is attack his masculinity.”
“Or the alleged lack there off.”, Penny blurted as Mama Sandoval passed the joint back to her.
“You’re better than this, you know that don’t you?”
Penny hit the joint and passed it over to Scarlett.
“Oh, I sure I am.”, Scarlett said, relaxing as she let back fall onto the surface of the swing. “But Trace has this coming- at the very least, right outside of beating him; I can get with accusing him under ‘false’ pretenses.”
Mama Sandoval rolled her eyes up again and pushed herself off her chair and headed back inside the house, swinging the doors open as she cursed, “Mi mi mi nieta. Usted siempre será el mismo ahora, no importa lo mucho que cambien las cosas.”
Scarlett hit the joint and closed her eyes. “I love you too, abuelita.”.
