Well...here we go, Royal Rumble 2016...
- Interesting to see Vince and Steph at the start. Jojo is cute as buggery.
- Pleased as punch Lawler isn't there.
- Two blokes who used to be in CZW. In the opening match. Getting a fecal chant after a rather inventive spot, interesting.
- Seeing Cole get flattened was cool, ha! Lot of fart-arsing around in this match...strangely they didn't seem to have good chemistry.
- So you have a guy with a chair wrapped around his head, obscuring his face...and your first instinct...is to punch...the chair...and not in a way that will affect him, but moreso you...cripes...
- Christ Almighty, the look on Owens' face after the DDT on the chair. Good to see him selling finally too.
- 'Hey...we want some tables' is now a thing. Why not, eh?
- Hmmm. Nice stuff Owens, 'driving Ambrose through the table.' How, though? What move did Ambrose in? No? It's too hard to say.
- A push? That's it? Righto. At least there's always Guerilla Warfare.
- More programming for WWE Network, interesting. None of them stand out to me as 'must-watch'.
- Ah, New Day. Ha! A chant for a trombone! And now Francesca 2!! Ha. So entertaining.
- A fairly impressive match between The Usos and The New Day, though the ending was never in question...good stuff.
- Sorry, I don't believe you Bray. You and your brood of hosses are certainly not convincing me that you are The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in any sense.
- ...and again, the champion comes out first...with fancy red boots!
- Whoo, an inverted Avalanche Suplex! Followed by a botch they ended up working anyway - glorious!
- Not too bad. Bit of an odd finish, but hey, there it is.
- Ah, Paul. Wonderful, albeit awkward screen time there.
- Not a bad vignette for Charlotte and Becky. I haven't seen any of their feud so it did its job.
- I had skipping issues with the Netwofk all night - really annoying.
- Becky Lynch has grown on me, especially her steampunk-influenced attire, in-ring work and the fact she doesn't do that headbanging anymore.
- Charlotte on the other hand, just doesn't have it for me, she's so lanky and unbelievable in her role to me.
- Screwy finish is screwy. We understand, we get it - your Dad is Ric Flair.
- Yay, it's Sasha. I wonder what's gonna happen...maybe some falsehoods and shenanigans.
- What do I win? Ha.
- Nice of Charlotte not to sell the attack. Gotta look strong (and lanky) as champ.
- Just watching Michael Cole's face when he talks is excruciating; I wonder how it must be for him. All red, sweating, looking like he's constipated - yeesh.
- That ChexMix prize thing looked pretty cool. I wouldn't want to be part of it though.
- Ah, the 'numbers' vignette for the Rumble. Wouldn't it be cool if Reigns actually WORE the title instead of just carrying it around on his shoulder?
- Boos aplenty for Reigns. Saw that coming, as I imagine we all did.
- Yay, Lana. Aw...that's it?
- Yep, Roman looking strong.
- Ahhh...and this is something that was spoiled for me, but it's fine - I'm just not one of those guys to go absolutely mental knowing Styles is now in WWE. AJ looks great and it's incredible to see him in there.
- Thanks for coming, Breeze.
- And Axel.
- Hell of a pop for Jericho. I don't get it though.
- Styles is so fluid in everything he does, though I doubt he will hit the Styles Clash.
- Ah yes, DEMONKANE. The embodiment of the Rumble itself.
- Goldust's face paint looks really cool. Good to see him in there.
- Boos for The Big Guy. Not much to say there.
- Kofi in again. I'm wondering as he enters what he does this year.
- We can see you talking, Jericho, as you pick up AJ after the backdrop.
- AJ is so giving in this Rumble...interesting.
- Okay, so R-Truth is a simpleton again. Few chuckles there.
- Woo, Luke Harper. Yeah yeah yeah.
- 'SHADES OF THE '99 ROYAL RUMBLE MAGGLE! STACKING THE DECK AGAINST THE GUY THAT THE WHOLE THING SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON, NOT THAT GUY FROM TNA AND JAPAN, DAMMIT!'
- I must admit I got a kick out of seeing Vince hug them all.
- Poor Stardust. Being neglected...again.
- You may as well keep a souvenir, Rusev...that monitor may as well do.
- Big Show. Largest athlete in the world. Never won a Rumble. World War 3 '96 would probably be the closest thing. He looks especially large here.
- We all know, despite the attack on Reigns that it's not the end.
- Neville looking crisp. For a bit.
- Yes! By all means, keep changing AJ Styles' name.
- Is it just me, or does Strowman look like he had difficulty just walking to the ring?
- Ha! What a way to eliminate Big Show.
- Owens selling the effects of the match he had earlier on the way to the ring is fine, but him not doing so DURING the match (to a believable extent) makes me scratch my head.
- And he's the one to eliminate AJ Styles. Okay...?
- Not a bad crowd in Florida. Kudos.
- Yay, Ambrose.
- How about that, I finally marked for something - Zayn vs Owens...a reminder of a more violent time in wrestling, and a storied rivalry I followed in two promotions...brilliant, just brilliant.
- Ohhh, look out, it's Rowan. Looking sharp.
- Wyatts are all over this now, and I wish that actually meant something.
- Yeah, Mark Henry. Waste of a spot, perhaps.
- Bugger! Poor Sami. Well, it's a good thing Jericho is still there.
- Official Mark-Out #2: BROCK LESNAR! Wow! Awesome. Such ferocity.
- Strowman dwarfs Lesnar! Christ!
- Yay, it's a guy with no chance...(and I had to pause it as he was eliminated as I wrote this.)
- Lesnar has such presence...just incredible...
- Aw, Miz. It's all you can do; chickens**t stuff.
- ...and there goes Strowman. Incredible - one dude got rid of 3/4 of them.
- Here comes Bray. Gonna do his 'strength in numbers' thing I bet.
- Three huge men pushed away like nothing; so why care?
- I've never agreed that you can be eliminated by someone/a group of people who are already eliminated. Sucks for Brock.
- Why the hell Jericho is still in is beyond me.
- The Overbumper. Good to see him.
- Just needed a breather, eh Roman? Course you did.
- Yay, it's Triple H. Game time. He looks fantastic.
- Getting exciting now. 'Down to five' when there's actually six.
- Finally! Get the f**k out, Jericho.
- Of course...and wow! Go Triple H, based off of those cheers.
- Ambrose and Triple H. If I had a million guesses, I would've ever thought they'd be the last two and Triple H would win in the way he did.
- The Authority stands tall. Again.
...well, that certainly took a few hours...not bad.
