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Post by c-scope on Mar 26, 2018 15:04:58 GMT -5
So me and bad guy™ came up with this idea when discussing my return. Instead of me writing an RP for my RP I got into character and actually cut a promo as Wolf because I wanted my return to be totally different. So here it is. Promo (the RP) starts at 1:57 but if you wanna watch the whole video that’s greatly appreciated. Opinions on the content and how well you think I did on the promo it’s self would also be great to hear.
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Post by CM Poor on Mar 26, 2018 19:25:44 GMT -5
So, I know this is a thing, the whole e-fed where people cam up their promos and all that. I ain't into it - that's why I'm here and not there. Brennan's a mush-mouth in his own right, but no one wants to hear a Brennan promo when I drop my political tone and I speak in the weird hybrid "New England by way of Texas with a stretch through Cali" accent I've spent 32 years perfecting it, believe you me.
That said, against my instinctual desire, I watched it, but I've gotta be open and honest, 'cause otherwise ain't gonna help anybody - I'm not gonna make a habit of it. I'm not certain it's explicitly stated anywhere here, which is something I'll be correcting post haste in the event that it isn't, but the overall crux of what we're doing here is creative writing. I'm your opponent this go-round, so thankfully the burden isn't on me this time, but I look forward at something like this when you're against, say, anyone else and I am charged with making the judgement call, and it's one hell of a corner to be in, 'cause a video promo against a written one isn't even apples and oranges so much as it's somewhere in the realm of apples and corrugate product. There's just no comparing them. Disregarding the fact that every decent novel's been made into a movie of varying quality, trying to judge a video promo against a traditionally written RP is like sitting someone down and saying "Objectively, which is better: 'God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater' or 'The Truman Show'?" Both, at least to me, are hallmarks of their respective mediums, but comparing them is near impossible because of the divide in said medium. Realistically, it can't be done, given the nuances and styles and liberties that characterize each medium, to say nothing of individual preference of reading vs. viewing.
Nevertheless...
I think you focused far too much on Wolf's actions at Back to Basics, and not nearly enough on your opponent, which I mention foremost because my favorite part of this game is seeing how an opponent tears me down to size - I can't help my own vanity. There's sort of an objective reasoning one needs to make in coming at an opponent - shy a few sterling examples, it's risky to say "there's no way I lose this match!", because once you do, your character's credibility is kinda diminished. That's not what you did here, but the line that struck me was noting that Brennan hasn't beaten anyone as good as Wolf. Good line, in theory, in an arrogant sort of sense, but to any character, that's a lofty, lofty claim when you factor in the likes of Drakz, Schneider, Dean, Lynn, Crowe, Bishop, etc. I feel like there was more you could have done tying Wolf's actions to the fate that begot Brennan to close the show, which might have made a stronger case, given the amount of focus that was given to begin with.
Diplomatically, I'd implore you, going forward, to consider sticking to, at least, the broad format here. I'm not looking to stifle anyone's creativity, and I'm certainly not here to drive anyone out, but there are feds better suited for this sort of thing, this one ain't it, and just personally, I cannot commit the time to carve out to view an RP at the pace of the performer when 9 other entries are submitted for me to read at my own, preferred pace.
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Post by Sizzle on Mar 26, 2018 19:37:35 GMT -5
I don’t like the video format either, but I felt that the content of the promo was decent in that you got a few shots at Brennan but I would’ve liked more. You did touch on your absence a little bit and I hope you expand on it in future RPs, and it should be cool seeing Wolf back in the mix. I agree with Brennan in that this really isn’t comparable to a written RP. The delivery of an actual human is very different from a dialogue that is typed up.
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Post by King Richius on Mar 26, 2018 19:48:33 GMT -5
I'll have to watch this later as I'm into Raw right now and then after, back to sleep to recover from my Entyvio infusion earlier today. I'm intrigued by the idea of a video promo/RP and yet at the same time trepidatious too. As Brennan pointed out, this is comparing apples to oranges and as one of the judges for the match I'll be setting a precedent for future attempts to go this far outside the box. I'll have to weigh factors other than simply who had the better content & more enjoyable writing style and having to consider how important is it that the phrase we use most often to describe this place is "creative writing". Does that mean that by default, the written word gets extra points over the spoken word? At this point I dunno...
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Post by bad guy™ on Mar 26, 2018 20:14:22 GMT -5
Aight. So this didn't go over the way the hoped it would. That being said, we both knew this was an uphill battle to begin with so just toss something at the wall.
The content itself? Pretty good. You hit all the points you'd want an RP to hit. Where's Wolf been, why's he back, and eff your opponent. That's good ish.
When we talked about this, I actually didn't imagine this. I thought you'd do a black screen and talk in the background to protect kayfabe, or at the very least make it its own separate video, but ya know, it's moot at this point.
Regardless, I love when people try different things. I'm not against the recorded promo like the others. It was unique. You were up against a wall this week and you tossed what you felt was your best chance at Brennan by pulling something unique together. That's admirable even if the execution fell a bit flat, and no one could argue the balls to try it.
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Post by Prophet of Ash on Mar 26, 2018 20:30:51 GMT -5
I'll cover what no one else has. from a video perspective, this lacks. Your standing off center for three fourths of the promo was something I've demanded people do reshoots over. I see what you were going for with the lighting.. but don't do that ever again. Synthetic darkened lighting in a white room does not work AT ALL. If this is your focus, it lacks the post production shine necessary as well. The lack of a clean fade between the segments, any on screen graphics or bumpers, or even a WFWF bug.. As someone who does pro wrestling video production professionally, those are the things I catch and see as amateur. with complete honesty, if you turned this in to me, the biggest credit you'd get is that it was shot in 16:9
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Post by King Richius on Mar 27, 2018 14:15:04 GMT -5
Okay, so I got around to watching this. Have to admit, it was better than I expected coming from someone I recently watched setting himself on fire and sledding down a snowy hill. Since you chose to present a video, I have to judge the style of the video as part of my critique and overall it was amateurish. Your delivery was okay to good, with a few stammers that you recovered from quickly enough and kept it on track. It had that ECW promo shot in Heyman's basement feel, which is not a good thing as production values for those videos was not good. Standing in front of a neutral wall with a flashlight shining in your face - I get the effect you were going for but it fell short. Honestly, it brought to mind Blair Witch Project more than it did pro wrestling promo. At least you didn't use shaky cam and extreme blurry close ups of your nostrils. As far as content, you hit on all the bullet points necessary and portrayed Wolf as the guy who is ready to step out on his own. There is a fine line between confidence/arrogance and delusion though and Wolf definitely stepped firmly into the land of delusion. It makes no sense to quote Brennan's impressive won loss record as well as that he is the World Champion only to make your major point be that he has never faced anyone like you which is why you will beat him. It would have been better to show respect to what he has achieved but point out that Kyzer and Lynn brought him down a notch at Back to Basics showing that Brennan isn't untouchable and now it is your turn. As far as the reasons for turning on Sam via his daughter, it was okay. Not spectacular but not awful either. It was a the kind of point though that could have benefited from being part of a written scene so you could go a little deeper into the reasons Wolf felt that Sam was holding him down. In a spoken promo it felt like you glossed over it. Now to speak directly to the video versus written RP concept. It took balls to be the first to try this and I commend you for that. It also showed the inherent flaws in a video only presentation. You basically gave us a monologue. There is no way short of a full blown TV show production to produce the same effect that written scenes achieve - to give us those deeper looks into the psyche of your character. It's like the cliche about eating Chinese food - when you're done eating you're still hungry. Bottom line, we want to get to know each character and I don't feel that a video only monologue is going to get that done. I wouldn't be opposed to video promos as a component of an RP but I personally feel that written scenes are essential and the video part could replace the monologue - if kept short and to the point. I don't mind watching 2-3 minutes but more than that and it becomes a bit much. It might be nice to provide a written transcript of the monologue for those that don't want to watch any video at all - cover all your bases so to speak. And the production quality has to step up. Sounds like Prophet of Ash could give you some good tips on how to improve... if you ask nicely and he is willing. Not sure how to close this out. If you want to write RPs then there is a place here for you and you've shown the ability to write in the past. I don't think video is the way to do it.
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Post by Prophet of Ash on Mar 27, 2018 18:13:12 GMT -5
Sounds like Prophet of Ash could give you some good tips on how to improve... if you ask nicely and he is willing. post production and shine are what Prophet of Ash has been doing for the last year since Phillip Schneider disappeared. Get your powerbomb.tv subs and use code IWAMS for first 20 days free so Prophet of Ash can pay his bills and put food on the table
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