Post by sonstuds on Jul 24, 2022 12:26:02 GMT -5
::: strfkr :::
What a journey it has been. Eight years ago he was just an immature, selfish, punk ass, morally dubious, headhuntin’, backstabbin’, Alex Sean-gut-stabbin’, gonzo-porn-star-that-one-time petulant child with nothing of substance to his name apart from a large house paid for with dirty money and memories of accolades which wouldn’t age as gracefully as he did.
Oh, and he had an Olympic sized pool in his backyard. In hindsight he might have been subconsciously overcompensating for something.
For a brief period in his life he would wake up whenever he felt like it, and he’d walk into his bathroom, he’d empty his bladder, he’d brush his teeth, he’d moisturize his face, he’d go on his computer and check out the headline news and read any articles his internet browser would recommend, and once the Colgate advised 30 minutes had past since he used their product he’d go down to his kitchen and make himself his breakfast. Once finished, he could now seize the day. He could do whatever he wanted. He could do literally anything.
But he didn’t know what that was.
He didn’t have anything to seize. There was no end game. There was no goal. There was no purpose. There was just him. EBR. He was a wrestler. But now he isn’t. Now he’s just some dude. Alone. In a house. Having already peaked at age 33 and now just going through the motions. Just sort of … there. Just sort of existing. That’s what the life of the once-believed-to-be great EBR had amounted to, and that is how he could be best described. EBR … he exists.
It was a creation of his own doing. He had done this. He chose the paths to take, and then he chose to walk it, and then he chose to ignore any warning signs he encountered along the way which advised him to proceed back immediately. He thought he was the smartest man in the f*cking room cause he found the shortcut, but it was only when he would sit and eat his avocado toast on multi-grain bread day-after-day-after-month-after-month did it finally dawn on him; it wasn’t that other people didn’t know there was a shortcut. They just knew they’d have to one day clean the filth and dirt from their shoes and knew it wasn’t worth the bother.
He was healthy and full of vitality. There was still time. There was still lots of time. He could correct this. He could fix this. He could be better. He could be great. Not the previously-believed-to-be-great. The actual great. The great that would be celebrated by more than just himself until the day it wasn’t. The great which would motivate him to wake up every single afternoon - nay, every single morning - excited and eager to start the day, because he knew it was leading to something more.
He had found his goal. He had found his structure. He was disciplined. Honest. Respectful. He could be everything he ever wanted to be, and for real this time. He could be EBR, in the way he should have always been.
Eight years later and here he is. The end is nigh and the finish line in sight. It was all to get to this moment when he would correct every wrong and have the accolade he coveted be his, and done in a way without asterisks attached or justified mumbles of tsk-tsks. He had walked the Path of Peace.
For it, he will be rewarded with the World Heavyweight Championship.
It will grace his hands for the first time in eleven years. He will hold it in front of his face and gaze at the sight in front of him. His joy will overcome his defective lacrimal gland and tears will stream down his face, and he will not care that everyone will see it. He will finally, after envisioning it in his head for all this time, have it become a reality. He will - finally - do it. He will - finally - earn it. He will - finally - be content with everything he has ever accomplished.
He will - finally - be truly and meaningfully happy.
The soap dispenses as he lathers his hands for twenty seconds before he turns the tap back on and rinses them. Only 1.2% of the Earth’s water is surface water. It may only be twenty seconds, but those twenty seconds add up every time. We all have to do our part. He rips off a paper towel from the dispenser and dries his hands, looking at himself in the mirror in the process. It may have been difficult at times, but he’s come so far in his personal journey to become the best version of himself. It was well worth any struggles. He is EBR.
He is smart. He is kind. He is important. The way we all strive to be.
Finishing up, he wipes the remaining soap suds off the tap before disposing of the paper towel and exciting the public washroom. It’s impolite to use the bathroom in someone else’s personal dressing room, plus he likes to get up every 20-30 minutes anyways and go for a brief walk. Too much sitting is bad for one’s posture.
Traveling down the long corridor he passes the various backstage workers and event organizers. They don’t pay him any mind but he still makes sure to keep his laminated VIP card hanging around his neck just in case. Nobody wants another Red Rocks Amphitheatre incident. Once he reaches the end of the hall he approaches the door embedded with a large golden star and guarded by a large security guard named Patrice, which EBR knows because he made sure to ask him his name when they first met and then thanked him for providing his services tonight. It’s important to be nice to the people helping you. That’s why he’s also going to make sure to say thanks again when they leave, and make sure he gets a nice bonus. Patrice is doing a good job and as such should be compensated for it.
Turning the dressing room door knob ever so slightly so as to not disturb its occupants, Patrice gently grazes it open as EBR nods in acknowledgement and appreciation and re-enters the dimly lit and soothing dressing room. Quietly and without bother he scoots past the table filled with vases of white roses and the row of tall, decorative plants and sits himself back on the cushy and large black leather sofa. Looking parallel, he waves towards the mirror his wife is seated in front of, a subtle gesture to inform her of his return which goes unseen and subsequently unacknowledged. It’s fine. She’s busy. She probably never noticed he even left in the first place.
Bringing out his phone he leans back on the sofa, taking in the enchanting scent from the Jo Malone candles which occupy the room.
Vanilla.
Just delightful.
Shelia: Looking at make-up kit So … purple? I'm thinking something purple. I got that purple dress, so throw in some purple eyeshadow, some purple lipstick ... or is that too much?
Inquisitively she looks at her personal assistant Vivian and Argentinian manager German Montero. Is his nationality important? Yes, because he’s the coolest motherf*cker EBR has ever met. It’s just like … his whole vibe
German Montero: Trust your instincts. They will not misguide you.
EBR wishes he could pull off that all white suit.God knows he’s tried.
Shelia: Yeah ... I just don't want to look like the girl that turns into a blueberry in Willy Wonka. What kind of shades do we have?
Vivian: Well there's lavender, lilac, eggplant, violet -
Shelia: We just need something that's ... as far from blue as possible.
German Montero: Vivian, would you remove any blue-ish shades of purple from the room immediately?
In his mind he always envisioned that they would both reach the top of their respective fields, but he was really convinced he would be the one to get there first. Her path just seemed so much more complicated and unpredictable. while he could have direct influence on his own level of success. He even spent countless hours running various scenarios in his head of things that could go wrong, the speed bumps that could theoretically de-rail him, and then came up with theoretical solutions for any theoretical problems. There was nothing that could stop him from achieving his dreams.
Then the WFWF shut down for a year.
All the while the rocket attached to the great Shelia Helena Espindola blasted her into the stratosphere and subsequently into a life of global superstardom. She held up her end of the bargain.
It wasn’t fair. He did everything right this time and yet what stops him from reaching his potential is something completely out of his control? What kind of cruel, universally f*ckery is that? He may not have been 100% certain what “insolvency” meant, but he knew it wasn’t great for his title pursuits. So he did the only thing he could do.
Nothing. Just waited as the weeks turned into months and the months approached a year, and subsequently the realization began to creep in that this may be it and this is how it ends, not with credits rolling but simply the discovery that they ran out of film before the third act.
This is the unceremonious way it all ends … by just … ending. No fanfare, no congratulations, no thanks for coming, … just one day he was there and the next day he wasn’t, because one day the WFWF was there and the next day it wasn’t. The WFWF didn’t exist anymore.
But EBR did. He existed. He just kind of … existed.
Vivian: Placing shades of make-up in bag So, the producer from the Kelly Clarkson Show got in touch. They want you to make a special appearance.
German Montero: Pondering … “Special” … how?
Vivian: They didn’t say.
German Montero: Ahhh … keep us in suspense. Well played, Kelly Clarkson television talk show … well played …
With a front row seat giving him an up close and personal view as Shelia’s star rose expeditiously, it dawned on him what his future could hold.
Vivian: If I had to guess it’s probably just some type of recorded bit. Possibly some song.
German Montero: Hmm … no, they would have specified if they wanted her to sing. There’s something they don’t want us to know.
Vivian: You think they might be pressuring her into playing a game? A silly game? Possibly one that will be messy and or wet?
German Montero: That can never be ruled out, for Jimmy Fallon has seen to that. Damn you, James.
He could be just another sad, bitter, jealous, middle aged man.
Shelia: We talked briefly backstage when I was a guest on her show in February. She seemed nice.
German Montero: How long did you talk?
Shelia: Five minutes, give or take.
German Montero: Pondering again … Perhaps it is her birthday coming up and they’d like to bring you out with a cake because you’re such close friends?
Shelia: Yeah I guess I could do that. I mean, everyone loves cake, right?
Vivian: Checking phone Hold on, her birthday was already back in April.
German Montero: I see … truly, this is a conundrum.
Vivian: Wow I never thought Kelly Clarkson would be so untrustworthy. It’s Ellen all over again.
German Montero: Truly, the snakes are the ones we never suspect. That’s how they navigate this world so … slippery … as snakes are wont to do.
The same kind of sad, bitter, jealous, middle aged man who would only ever get to reminisce about his “glory” days when no one ever truly cared about him via desperately clinging towards any last chance of connection or relevancy by occupying space in ballrooms at wrestling conventions as he signs old memorabilia and other crap that can remind him of the last time he ever sort, ever even kind of mattered.
And not even doing it in section B.
Shelia: You’re telling me. Soooo glad I won’t have to do that show again. She came into the green room to introduce herself, which alright … cool, but then a staff member came in with her coffee and I had to watch her taste it. Most nerve-wracking thing I’ve ever seen. It was like the glass of water shaking in Jurassic Park.
Or he could roll with the punches and make the best of a bad situation. Sure, his life is incomplete, disappointing, meaningless, and devoid of any sort of purpose as he loses all sense of identity and self-worth … but at least it’s working out for one of them. He wanted this for her. She worked for it. She earned it, and at this point no one had as much of an appreciation for receiving just rewards after putting in the work like he did. He should be happy for her, and he was. When you’re partners you don’t have to stand a few kilometers away from the launch pad with your arms folded and a disgruntled look on your face, watching the lift off like you’re a member of Shelia’s old band, all the while contemplating if you start sprinting right now whether or not there’s still time to make it before take off as you desperately grasp and cling to the sides, praying that it’ll take you away from this cruel, cruel world.
Instead, you can swallow your pride and put your ego aside and just sit inside with them and enjoy the view.
Sh*t, it wasn’t like he had anything else to do.
German Montero: Turning to Vivian I want you to call back to the Kelly Clarkson television talk show. Tell them we’re interested and then get the date. Exactly 38 hours before that date you call them and express with deep regret the arrival of a scheduling conflict, but since they’re great friends Shelia would be happy to be on the following week, specifically Thursday. The biggest shows are on Thursday. They will see this is a gesture of goodwill and they will eagerly accept and in doing so … we will hold all cards.
That’s just what good, supportive partners do. You support them and their endeavors if it’s important to them. It’s one of the many keys to a successful relationship, as he learned from that online article his internet browser recommended to him years ago.
German Montero: They will not make a fool out of us. Ha ha!
It’s showing up and letting them know that you care. It’s saying “you looked stunning” when prompted, or confirming that “yes it was a very good performance” when asked. It’s recognizing and understanding the stress someone who is striving for greatness is under, and not being so self-centered that you take everything so personally and subconsciously feel you’re getting neglected and not receiving as much attention as you think you might deserve. He understands. It takes a lot of work and time to realize your dream and there just aren't enough hours in a day. Some sacrifices must be made.
Vivian: Bringing out phone … Got it. making the call while heading out of the dressing room Shelia, do you need anything?
Shelia: Yes I could use some tea. Preferably Manuka honey … no, definitely Manuka honey.
Vivian: Exiting the room I’m on it.
It’s not “I”, it is “us”. That’s something he imagined the best version of himself would understand, so that’s what he does.
German Montero: In other news, they finished designing the new album cover.
And it was when he accepted and embraced this reality did everything finally make sense to him once the news broke of the AGE’s acquisition and plans to resume operations. It all became so clear that he was ashamed he missed it the first time.
German Montero: After many, many hours and extensive analysis we believe we’ve finally found the perfect combination of style and grace, creating the ideal image …
It was a test. It was the universe or a deity of some kind, possibly Xenu, putting forth a trial and measuring how EBR would respond and observing whether he’d stay on the proper path and remain the best version of himself through whatever adversity he found himself in. Much like the Penny Shannon situation, he passed.
German Montero: It is … unzipping nearby bag and producing concept art … a masterpiece.
Shelia: Wow …. staring at the image of a white square with “SHE” written in bold black letters … it’s perfect.
It was nothing but further reaffirmation that when you put forth the effort, when you work hard, and most perhaps most importantly, when you treat people with respect and kindness, you can do great things because good things happen to good people. And it reaffirmed how much he wanted this and how he couldn’t take it for granted because it could all be taken away so easily. When he was a 33 year old child he had all the time in the world. When he’s a 40 year old man competes not just against his opponent but father time, and the latter is a fight he one day just won’t be able to win. It’s an opportunity he can’t afford to squander. He encourages the difficulty, and he embraces the challenge of getting back into the swing of competing while simultaneously supporting his wife’s career and spending large chunks of time traveling on planes to various cities (and soon to be countries) to make the local wrestling news circuits and local sports media to raise awareness of the return to the WFWF. It may not be an ideal way to begin training for the biggest match of his life, but Bobby Abadi tells him he needs his help and EBR responds in just. Bobby is the reason EBR even gets this chance, so he owes him that much. Teamwork makes the dreamwork, as he’s so recently learned.
German Montero: The marketing will begin in a couple of weeks. It’ll be on billboards and buses all throughout the country. Everyone will see it and everyone will know that SHE … is coming.
Even if it does take up an unexpectedly large chunk of his time because he just doesn’t have enough hours in the day to do everything he wants and needs to do, all while still getting the doctor recommended eight hours of sleep for peak physical performance, health, and cognitive function.
German Montero: … SHE is power. SHE … is love.
He’ll figure it out. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and he didn’t work this hard to fall flat on his face only mere inches before he crosses the finish line. In fact, he’s already made steady progress in his pursuit of making the necessary adjustments to achieve optimal results. That is to say, he’s been making sure to put an emphasis on not remaining sedanatic for longer than 30 minutes if possible.
Shelia: You have no idea how many ideas I have. I’ve been thinking about it and it’s time for my performances to extend past just the auditory and into the visual realm. Like … I want to merge the visceral with the spiritual, you know? Make people feel things … but even more.
German Montero: Yes, because SHE … is an experience.
Shelia: Exactly!
The rest of the jigsaw pieces will fit together in due time, and it will lead to the day EBR kneels in the middle of the ring, the World Heavyweight Championship pressed across his tear soaked face as he can finally join and bond with his wife in their respective greatness.
Shelia: We can hammer out the specifics, but I was tinkering with the concept last night and what if during “Savage” I smear some type of fake blood on my face and we just shine a spotlight on me and it’s just like … so raw and powerful and frisson.
Even if he did prefer her earlier work.
Shelia: It’ll just like, you know, enhance the music. Add an element of performance art to it, stuff like that. Oh, and pyro. It’s time we start going big with the pyro.
German Montero: I’ve said this time and time again but it bears repeating; you, Shelia Helena Espindola … are truly, a genius.
Shelia: Modestly Well I don’t know about that … I just understand the human spirit and want to share that with the world, you know? Music bonds us.
German Montero: Absolutely, and as such there will be no more perfect occasion to unveil the newest single than at the Tribute to Heroes benefit concert on September 11th, broadcasted nationally by the National Broadcasting Company.
Once the date is spoken by the very debonair German Montero, EBR’s focus immediately switches from his game of Trivia Crack to the conversation happening in front of him. It commands all of his attention and energy, which is very unfortunate both for the implication and that it allows the timer to run out before he could correctly answer that it was Illinois troops who captured General Santa Anna’s wooden leg after the U.S. victory at Cerro Gordo in 1847.
Shelia: That would be beautiful … pause but considering the circumstances …
German Montero: Don’t do the blood thing. It’s not the appropriate venue.
Shelia: And we should hold off on the pyro. Nothing that … explodes ….
German Montero: A little pyro is okay, just not too much. Too much is insensitive.
Shelia: Of course. I want to bring us together, never divide. Oh by the way, I asked for unsalted almonds on my rider but I had one earlier. There was salt on it.
Taking off his sunglasses dramatically, German Montero looks at Shelia to confirm this information. It is true.
There was salt.
German Montero: This will not stand.
Taking a deep breath through his nose, the very suave German Montero puts his sunglasses back on and pats himself on his expensive suit, collecting himself before heading towards the door and out of the room.
German Montero: If they think they can get away with sodium, they’ll think they can get away with everything.
Waiting until German Montero exits and until it is just them, EBR takes his own subtle deep breath and brings himself off of the couch. Now devoid of rounded shoulders and their ill-effects he saunters over towards Shelia, whose own attention is specifically devoted to the mirror in front of her face. EBR waits for several seconds until she notices him.
Shelia: Oh hey, let me ask you something … motioning towards eyelashes how do you think they’d look winged?
EBR: I don’t know what that means … so uh … about that concert on 9/11 …
Shelia: Yeah I’m really honored they asked me. It’s going to be a good time … I mean sure, we’re remembering a tragedy but like … music heals, yeah?
EBR:Right, of course … now look, I didn’t want to bring this up when German was here cause I didn’t want to embarrass you but um … September 11th …
Figuring that saying it should cause it to click, he waits for it to dawn on her. Nothing.
EBR: … We’re already uh … busy.
Shelia: With what?
EBR: … Scars & Stripes?
Shelia: I don’t know what that is. Is it like … some extreme dirt bike thing you’re into now?
EBR: It’s when I have my match for the Heavyweight Championship.
Shelia: Ooooh.
She nods slowly, but only for a very brief moment as they both awkwardly stare at one another until Shelia goes back to doing her make-up. Several moments pass before she responds to the silent glare she catches in the mirror.
Shelia: Turning back … My bad.
EBR: Wow.
Shelia: Yeah, I sort of dropped the ball on that one. Haha …. whoops, amirite?
It’s back to the mirror yet again. While EBR is trying to keep his cool, his glowering looks apparently come through, at least enough for his significant other to acknowledge.
Shelia: So … I can see that you’re upset, so I’d just like you to know that I recognize that you’re upset.
EBR: And?
Shelia: And it’s recognized. And I am sorry.
EBR: You seriously forgot.
Shelia: Yes, that’s been established. In the future I’ll make sure that Viv sets a reminder on her phone to remind me. The important thing is we can learn from this to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
EBR: I feel like you don’t really understand why I’m upset. You forgot.
Shelia: You’re choosing to take this more personally than it is. It just slipped my mind.
EBR: If I forgot your birthday I’d expect to get sh*t for it.
Shelia: My birthday is every year. It’s harder to forget.
EBR: It’s September 11th! That’s literally the date we said we’d never forget!
Shelia: Yet here we are. Life has a way of being unexpected like that.
Deep breath. Inhale through the nose. Hold it. Exhale. Stay calm. Act rationally. Look at it from someone else’s perspective. No problems. Only solutions.
EBR: Look … it’s whatever. Apology accepted, fine. Just let me talk to German, tell him the scheduling conflict, he’ll understand.
Even if it kills him inside to disappoint German Montero. He’s just such a cool guy. It’s probably the accent.
Shelia: I already agreed to do it. This is a big deal. It’s for the country. Imagine how it looks if I just drop out to go to … your … thing …
EBR: This is important to me. This is my life’s work … you do understand that, right? Like …
Breath. Inhale. Exhale. With his history of self-centeredness, narcissism, and selfishness he takes a quick second to assess the situation and allow him to self-evaluate his reaction. Look at it objectively, not subjectively.
Okay yeah, he’s good. He’s definitely in the right.
EBR: What the hell? Seriously? This is what I’ve been working towards for years before I even met you, and the one time - seriously, the one time - I expect you to be there and support me you just … don’t?
Shelia: I guess it’s just hard for me to understand how something can be so important to you when you’ve only done it four times over the course of two years.
At least he can take solace in the knowledge that she cares enough to remember each time.
Shelia: I specifically remember because it’s such a low number. It’s like “oh wow, he has a match - that’s unusual”.
He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous.
EBR: That’s … that’s a cheap shot that’s not even on me, so I dunno who you’re even really insulting -
Shelia: The WFWF was out of business for a year! It wasn’t a “break” - it was out of business! They had no money! German even explained to you what “insolvency” means! You didn’t even try to go anywhere else, so excuuuuuuuse me for just assuming you retired.
EBR: None of that was my choice.
Shelia: Going back there is. I don’t know why you’d even want to … She scoffs while applying eye shadow or did you forget when they coerced you into political theatre in Saudi Arabia?
The long text exchange on his phone between himself and Mohammed bin Salman discussing the HBO program The Wire ensures that he does not.
EBR: That was old management. It’s different now. It’s better. Much more courteous.
Shelia: They just had a riot in the Andrew Mellon Auditorium. They established NATO there … she turns towards his direction … NATO.
EBR: That was … very unfortunate.
He misses one show and an historic venue gets trashed. It is evident that EBR is the locker room leader.
EBR: I don’t condone that, but look …I can only lay it out straight, okay? Wrestling for the WFWF is what I do, and it’s all I want to do. So when you tell me you don’t respect the WFWF I gotta be honest; it feels like you’re telling me you don’t respect a big part of me.
Silence.
EBR: … Okay, that was a volley for you to refute that. That was the opening to say you do.
Silence.
EBR: … Jesus Christ!
Shelia: Two years ago you were wrestling in the Tokyo Dome. Now you’re going to be wrestling in some rec centre that has to schedule around a junior varsity basketball scrimmage. You’re moving backwards. You always told me you wanted to prove you were the greatest in the world. How does this help you accomplish that?
EBR: I’m glad you asked. DAVID HANDLECATCH -
Shelia: There’s no need to yell.
EBR: … Is one of the fiercest warriors in the world today.
Which is why before he even begins to think about preparing for Josh Dean he must study the man with the power of burning love pulsing through his veins. He will watch tape after tape, observing his every step and strategy and truly get into the mind of HANDLECATCH. How does he move? How does he think? These are the things EBR must learn, and learn he will, for he refuses to have his momentum halted ahead of his match against the illustrious Josh Dean. That road will be crossed in due time, and in the immediate future all eyes and efforts will be devoted to the man they call HANDLECATCH.
EBR: I may never be the same after we face each other.
Plus he really doesn’t win to suffer the embarrassment of having a poor performance against someone everyone expects him to beat easily.
Which to his chagrin, is sadly once again known as “pulling an Alex Sean”.
EBR: It’s just a case of iron sharpening iron.
Shelia: Just … if you’re going to do this … don’t you want to do it someplace where people will actually … care?
The general dismissiveness of the question makes the bluntness that much more biting.
SHE is hurting feelings.
EBR: I’m doing this for me.
Shelia: In front of 100 people.
EBR: It’s more than 100.
Shelia: All I’m trying to say is … you want to be the best … but if a tree falls in a forest and no one’s around …
EBR: People will hear it. That’s why they got me doing all that promotional stuff. It’s to bring the people back. We’re gonna bring the people back, Shelia. We’re gonna bring the people back and they’re gonna hear the tree falling, they’re gonna say “oh wow did you hear that tree fall?” “oh yeah, it was really loud”. They’ll say that.
Shelia: And why is any of that your problem? Why do they have you doing their marketing for them?
EBR: … Well … I assumed because I was good at it?
Shelia: You don’t need to be doing any of that. You could wrestle literally anywhere else … preferably one that won’t eventually ask you to do the accounting if you keep saying yes to things.
As if it were that easy and he couldn’t just stay in Japan. The WFWF is where he’s most remembered, for better or for worse. Unfortunately for him the worse was much more memorable than the better. So no, he cannot just go “anywhere else”. He didn’t shank Alex Sean with an ancient indian arrowhead and almost murder the man “anywhere else”, a fact which would be brought up routinely by Alex during their Rated X days only two years later. It was admittedly an effective way to get the last croissant.
Also just as a side note, while it may not be as felonious as the aforementioned homicide attempt, in retrospect that Indian phase might have been racist. Cultural appropriation at the very least.
EBR: It has to be the WFWF. There’s … reasons. It’s them or nothing, and I don’t want to do anything else.
Shelia: What happened to that fitness channel?
The influx of free time he was given in the past year led to an array of various hobbies, his YouTube channel devoted to workouts using resistance bands becoming the most visible. While lifting weights may be productive, over the years they’ll cause all sorts of aches and pains. That’s why the most efficient and safest way to build muscle is just with a couple of bands, and EBR’s got you covered on how. If you want some high energy, high intensity workouts and exercises which are easy on the joints then just smash that like button and hit subscribe for notifications whenever EBR puts out a new video.
Remember guys; it’s not how you train - it’s how effectively you train!
EBR: Yeah that’s cool and all …but it's not my passion.
Though it does remind him he needs to upload that bis & tris superset routine he recorded as part of his “EBArms” series. Those 500k subscribers rely on him for help in achieving their fitness goals, and it’s a duty and obligation EBR doesn’t take lightly. He can’t let them down, even if he is getting annoyed at the increasing number of “natty or not!?” videos made by other fitness channels, fitness coaches, and fitness influencers. You do steroids one time …
… well, it was technically many times over several years. But it was one chapter of his life.
Shelia: As long as you’re doing what you love, I guess.
There may have been a strong hint of cynicism in there, but EBR couldn’t fully tell. When in doubt, give the benefit of the doubt. That’s what his best self would do.
EBR: I understand how it looks unglamorous now … but it just needs time. It’s going to get better. We’re gonna fix the WFWF. We thought it was good then? It’s gonna be that much better in the future. We just have to work on it. Things can improve, Shelia. Things can get better, I promise you. It’s going to become the best version of the WFWF. It’ll become great, you’ll see.
Shelia: Maybe. Hopefully. But usually when people say that, things usually just end up staying the same.
The soft sound of the dressing room door knob turning slightly is heard throughout the room, before the door slightly grazes open.
Vivian: Hey, Shelia … so the Make-A-Wish-Foundation and Carly are both here …
Shelia: Oh yeah, great. Be there in one minute.
Rising from the chair, she turns towards her partner.
Shelia: Look, I sort of have to go …
EBR: Yeah, fine. I guess this conversation is over.
Shelia: … She’s a sick child. A child with lupus.
EBR: … How am I somehow the bad guy here?
Shelia: We can talk about this later, if you want …
EBR: No, it’s fine. There’s nothing to discuss. You’ve made your stance very clear.
Shelia: I’m not saying you’re not allowed to do it.
EBR: Oh, oh that’s good. I’m glad I got your permission.
Shelia: Don’t get moody.
EBR: You’re treating me like a child.
He’s a man. He’s 40.
Shelia: You can do whatever you want. If it’s important to you then you should do it. If anything, I admire your dedication.
EBR: Even if it embarrasses you.
Shelia: … Pretty much, yeah.
SHE is mean.
Shelia: … I shouldn’t have said that … at least not that directly .. I just think you could be doing other things.
SHE is trying to walk back her remarks.
Shelia: … Things that aren’t so … uh … frivolous …
SHE is doing a poor job of it.
Shelia: Look … I have my thing, you have your thing … it works for us. There’s nothing that says we need to be involved in each other’s worlds all the time. We both know how hard that can be.
EBR: Confused Well I don’t know if we both know that … cause only one of us has …
Shelia: Hey, I don’t make you do anything. That’s your choice. If you don’t want to come you don’t have to. You can do your other … ventures …
Subtly thrown shade notwithstanding, if what is next is what he thinks is next he will be very pleased. It may be exactly what he needs.
Shelia: I won’t be that upset if you miss performances. You can focus on your … thing …
A warm smile slowly spreads across his face. It is exactly what he thought it would be.
EBR: No baby, I don’t want to miss any of them. Your success is important to me.
In the zero hour, it is the universe once again testing him to ensure he stays on the proper path. An immature, selfish, et al. child would take the bite of the forbidden apple because they think it will give him the ever-lasting sustenance he needs.
The best version of himself would not. The best version knows the apple will never substitute for the gourmet meal.
EBR: If something is important to you, it’s important to me. I’mma be here when my schedule allows. I got you.
The best version of himself would continue to support his wife.
EBR: You should probably get going and go see Carly. I bet she’s really looking forward to meeting you.
Shelia: Yeah, she’s been through so much. So … you’re good, right?
EBR: 100%. The best.
Shelia: Good.
Heading towards the door, Shelia stops to turn around.
Shelia: How do I look?
EBR: You look stunning.
Satisfied, Shelia exits and closes the door behind her, leaving EBR to remain in the empty dressing room. Alone.
He takes a second just to appreciate where he is and how far he’s come. Eight years. Eight long, hard, tiresome, repetitive, redundant, years. All for the opportunity to finally put the finishing touches in the form of an exclamation point on his life’s work. It is only apt for him to face his greatest challenges and adversity in the final chapter. Darkest before the dawn, as it were.
The WFWF’s bankruptcy situation, being put on ice for a year during the twilight of his career, a wife who’s incapable of understanding his commitment to what she sees as inanity, and the disadvantage of facing an opponent in Josh Dean who is afforded the opportunity to train three times a day. It’s all noise. Just obstacles he’s either overcome or will continue to overcome. Just obstacles to try and make it that much more difficult.
But nothing worth doing is ever going to be easy. He knew that eight years ago, and in this very moment eight years later, he still knows it. It is an undertaking he has never wavered from, and it’ll make it that much more gratifying when the WFWF World Heavyweight Championship rests in his hands and he realizes that his dream has finally become reality.
And his legacy will finally be complete.
And it’ll all have been worth it.
And he’ll know it wasn’t all for nothing.
And he didn’t just waste eight years of his life.
And he will finally be truly and meaningfully happy.
Alone in the deserted dressing room, he observes the image left by German Montero on the vanity table. Several moments pass as he simply gazes at the album cover and its large bold letters. It may have taken him longer than anticipated, but he too will reach the mountaintop and he too will have his name become synonymous with greatness.
Actual greatness.
Slowly, he breaks his gaze and looks up towards his own reflection in the dressing room mirror. He is EBR.
He is smart.
He is kind.
He is important.
What a journey it has been. Eight years ago he was just an immature, selfish, punk ass, morally dubious, headhuntin’, backstabbin’, Alex Sean-gut-stabbin’, gonzo-porn-star-that-one-time petulant child with nothing of substance to his name apart from a large house paid for with dirty money and memories of accolades which wouldn’t age as gracefully as he did.
Oh, and he had an Olympic sized pool in his backyard. In hindsight he might have been subconsciously overcompensating for something.
For a brief period in his life he would wake up whenever he felt like it, and he’d walk into his bathroom, he’d empty his bladder, he’d brush his teeth, he’d moisturize his face, he’d go on his computer and check out the headline news and read any articles his internet browser would recommend, and once the Colgate advised 30 minutes had past since he used their product he’d go down to his kitchen and make himself his breakfast. Once finished, he could now seize the day. He could do whatever he wanted. He could do literally anything.
But he didn’t know what that was.
He didn’t have anything to seize. There was no end game. There was no goal. There was no purpose. There was just him. EBR. He was a wrestler. But now he isn’t. Now he’s just some dude. Alone. In a house. Having already peaked at age 33 and now just going through the motions. Just sort of … there. Just sort of existing. That’s what the life of the once-believed-to-be great EBR had amounted to, and that is how he could be best described. EBR … he exists.
It was a creation of his own doing. He had done this. He chose the paths to take, and then he chose to walk it, and then he chose to ignore any warning signs he encountered along the way which advised him to proceed back immediately. He thought he was the smartest man in the f*cking room cause he found the shortcut, but it was only when he would sit and eat his avocado toast on multi-grain bread day-after-day-after-month-after-month did it finally dawn on him; it wasn’t that other people didn’t know there was a shortcut. They just knew they’d have to one day clean the filth and dirt from their shoes and knew it wasn’t worth the bother.
He was healthy and full of vitality. There was still time. There was still lots of time. He could correct this. He could fix this. He could be better. He could be great. Not the previously-believed-to-be-great. The actual great. The great that would be celebrated by more than just himself until the day it wasn’t. The great which would motivate him to wake up every single afternoon - nay, every single morning - excited and eager to start the day, because he knew it was leading to something more.
He had found his goal. He had found his structure. He was disciplined. Honest. Respectful. He could be everything he ever wanted to be, and for real this time. He could be EBR, in the way he should have always been.
Eight years later and here he is. The end is nigh and the finish line in sight. It was all to get to this moment when he would correct every wrong and have the accolade he coveted be his, and done in a way without asterisks attached or justified mumbles of tsk-tsks. He had walked the Path of Peace.
For it, he will be rewarded with the World Heavyweight Championship.
It will grace his hands for the first time in eleven years. He will hold it in front of his face and gaze at the sight in front of him. His joy will overcome his defective lacrimal gland and tears will stream down his face, and he will not care that everyone will see it. He will finally, after envisioning it in his head for all this time, have it become a reality. He will - finally - do it. He will - finally - earn it. He will - finally - be content with everything he has ever accomplished.
He will - finally - be truly and meaningfully happy.
The soap dispenses as he lathers his hands for twenty seconds before he turns the tap back on and rinses them. Only 1.2% of the Earth’s water is surface water. It may only be twenty seconds, but those twenty seconds add up every time. We all have to do our part. He rips off a paper towel from the dispenser and dries his hands, looking at himself in the mirror in the process. It may have been difficult at times, but he’s come so far in his personal journey to become the best version of himself. It was well worth any struggles. He is EBR.
He is smart. He is kind. He is important. The way we all strive to be.
Finishing up, he wipes the remaining soap suds off the tap before disposing of the paper towel and exciting the public washroom. It’s impolite to use the bathroom in someone else’s personal dressing room, plus he likes to get up every 20-30 minutes anyways and go for a brief walk. Too much sitting is bad for one’s posture.
Traveling down the long corridor he passes the various backstage workers and event organizers. They don’t pay him any mind but he still makes sure to keep his laminated VIP card hanging around his neck just in case. Nobody wants another Red Rocks Amphitheatre incident. Once he reaches the end of the hall he approaches the door embedded with a large golden star and guarded by a large security guard named Patrice, which EBR knows because he made sure to ask him his name when they first met and then thanked him for providing his services tonight. It’s important to be nice to the people helping you. That’s why he’s also going to make sure to say thanks again when they leave, and make sure he gets a nice bonus. Patrice is doing a good job and as such should be compensated for it.
Turning the dressing room door knob ever so slightly so as to not disturb its occupants, Patrice gently grazes it open as EBR nods in acknowledgement and appreciation and re-enters the dimly lit and soothing dressing room. Quietly and without bother he scoots past the table filled with vases of white roses and the row of tall, decorative plants and sits himself back on the cushy and large black leather sofa. Looking parallel, he waves towards the mirror his wife is seated in front of, a subtle gesture to inform her of his return which goes unseen and subsequently unacknowledged. It’s fine. She’s busy. She probably never noticed he even left in the first place.
Bringing out his phone he leans back on the sofa, taking in the enchanting scent from the Jo Malone candles which occupy the room.
Vanilla.
Just delightful.
Shelia: Looking at make-up kit So … purple? I'm thinking something purple. I got that purple dress, so throw in some purple eyeshadow, some purple lipstick ... or is that too much?
Inquisitively she looks at her personal assistant Vivian and Argentinian manager German Montero. Is his nationality important? Yes, because he’s the coolest motherf*cker EBR has ever met. It’s just like … his whole vibe
German Montero: Trust your instincts. They will not misguide you.
EBR wishes he could pull off that all white suit.God knows he’s tried.
Shelia: Yeah ... I just don't want to look like the girl that turns into a blueberry in Willy Wonka. What kind of shades do we have?
Vivian: Well there's lavender, lilac, eggplant, violet -
Shelia: We just need something that's ... as far from blue as possible.
German Montero: Vivian, would you remove any blue-ish shades of purple from the room immediately?
In his mind he always envisioned that they would both reach the top of their respective fields, but he was really convinced he would be the one to get there first. Her path just seemed so much more complicated and unpredictable. while he could have direct influence on his own level of success. He even spent countless hours running various scenarios in his head of things that could go wrong, the speed bumps that could theoretically de-rail him, and then came up with theoretical solutions for any theoretical problems. There was nothing that could stop him from achieving his dreams.
Then the WFWF shut down for a year.
All the while the rocket attached to the great Shelia Helena Espindola blasted her into the stratosphere and subsequently into a life of global superstardom. She held up her end of the bargain.
It wasn’t fair. He did everything right this time and yet what stops him from reaching his potential is something completely out of his control? What kind of cruel, universally f*ckery is that? He may not have been 100% certain what “insolvency” meant, but he knew it wasn’t great for his title pursuits. So he did the only thing he could do.
Nothing. Just waited as the weeks turned into months and the months approached a year, and subsequently the realization began to creep in that this may be it and this is how it ends, not with credits rolling but simply the discovery that they ran out of film before the third act.
This is the unceremonious way it all ends … by just … ending. No fanfare, no congratulations, no thanks for coming, … just one day he was there and the next day he wasn’t, because one day the WFWF was there and the next day it wasn’t. The WFWF didn’t exist anymore.
But EBR did. He existed. He just kind of … existed.
Vivian: Placing shades of make-up in bag So, the producer from the Kelly Clarkson Show got in touch. They want you to make a special appearance.
German Montero: Pondering … “Special” … how?
Vivian: They didn’t say.
German Montero: Ahhh … keep us in suspense. Well played, Kelly Clarkson television talk show … well played …
With a front row seat giving him an up close and personal view as Shelia’s star rose expeditiously, it dawned on him what his future could hold.
Vivian: If I had to guess it’s probably just some type of recorded bit. Possibly some song.
German Montero: Hmm … no, they would have specified if they wanted her to sing. There’s something they don’t want us to know.
Vivian: You think they might be pressuring her into playing a game? A silly game? Possibly one that will be messy and or wet?
German Montero: That can never be ruled out, for Jimmy Fallon has seen to that. Damn you, James.
He could be just another sad, bitter, jealous, middle aged man.
Shelia: We talked briefly backstage when I was a guest on her show in February. She seemed nice.
German Montero: How long did you talk?
Shelia: Five minutes, give or take.
German Montero: Pondering again … Perhaps it is her birthday coming up and they’d like to bring you out with a cake because you’re such close friends?
Shelia: Yeah I guess I could do that. I mean, everyone loves cake, right?
Vivian: Checking phone Hold on, her birthday was already back in April.
German Montero: I see … truly, this is a conundrum.
Vivian: Wow I never thought Kelly Clarkson would be so untrustworthy. It’s Ellen all over again.
German Montero: Truly, the snakes are the ones we never suspect. That’s how they navigate this world so … slippery … as snakes are wont to do.
The same kind of sad, bitter, jealous, middle aged man who would only ever get to reminisce about his “glory” days when no one ever truly cared about him via desperately clinging towards any last chance of connection or relevancy by occupying space in ballrooms at wrestling conventions as he signs old memorabilia and other crap that can remind him of the last time he ever sort, ever even kind of mattered.
And not even doing it in section B.
Shelia: You’re telling me. Soooo glad I won’t have to do that show again. She came into the green room to introduce herself, which alright … cool, but then a staff member came in with her coffee and I had to watch her taste it. Most nerve-wracking thing I’ve ever seen. It was like the glass of water shaking in Jurassic Park.
Or he could roll with the punches and make the best of a bad situation. Sure, his life is incomplete, disappointing, meaningless, and devoid of any sort of purpose as he loses all sense of identity and self-worth … but at least it’s working out for one of them. He wanted this for her. She worked for it. She earned it, and at this point no one had as much of an appreciation for receiving just rewards after putting in the work like he did. He should be happy for her, and he was. When you’re partners you don’t have to stand a few kilometers away from the launch pad with your arms folded and a disgruntled look on your face, watching the lift off like you’re a member of Shelia’s old band, all the while contemplating if you start sprinting right now whether or not there’s still time to make it before take off as you desperately grasp and cling to the sides, praying that it’ll take you away from this cruel, cruel world.
Instead, you can swallow your pride and put your ego aside and just sit inside with them and enjoy the view.
Sh*t, it wasn’t like he had anything else to do.
German Montero: Turning to Vivian I want you to call back to the Kelly Clarkson television talk show. Tell them we’re interested and then get the date. Exactly 38 hours before that date you call them and express with deep regret the arrival of a scheduling conflict, but since they’re great friends Shelia would be happy to be on the following week, specifically Thursday. The biggest shows are on Thursday. They will see this is a gesture of goodwill and they will eagerly accept and in doing so … we will hold all cards.
That’s just what good, supportive partners do. You support them and their endeavors if it’s important to them. It’s one of the many keys to a successful relationship, as he learned from that online article his internet browser recommended to him years ago.
German Montero: They will not make a fool out of us. Ha ha!
It’s showing up and letting them know that you care. It’s saying “you looked stunning” when prompted, or confirming that “yes it was a very good performance” when asked. It’s recognizing and understanding the stress someone who is striving for greatness is under, and not being so self-centered that you take everything so personally and subconsciously feel you’re getting neglected and not receiving as much attention as you think you might deserve. He understands. It takes a lot of work and time to realize your dream and there just aren't enough hours in a day. Some sacrifices must be made.
Vivian: Bringing out phone … Got it. making the call while heading out of the dressing room Shelia, do you need anything?
Shelia: Yes I could use some tea. Preferably Manuka honey … no, definitely Manuka honey.
Vivian: Exiting the room I’m on it.
It’s not “I”, it is “us”. That’s something he imagined the best version of himself would understand, so that’s what he does.
German Montero: In other news, they finished designing the new album cover.
And it was when he accepted and embraced this reality did everything finally make sense to him once the news broke of the AGE’s acquisition and plans to resume operations. It all became so clear that he was ashamed he missed it the first time.
German Montero: After many, many hours and extensive analysis we believe we’ve finally found the perfect combination of style and grace, creating the ideal image …
It was a test. It was the universe or a deity of some kind, possibly Xenu, putting forth a trial and measuring how EBR would respond and observing whether he’d stay on the proper path and remain the best version of himself through whatever adversity he found himself in. Much like the Penny Shannon situation, he passed.
German Montero: It is … unzipping nearby bag and producing concept art … a masterpiece.
Shelia: Wow …. staring at the image of a white square with “SHE” written in bold black letters … it’s perfect.
It was nothing but further reaffirmation that when you put forth the effort, when you work hard, and most perhaps most importantly, when you treat people with respect and kindness, you can do great things because good things happen to good people. And it reaffirmed how much he wanted this and how he couldn’t take it for granted because it could all be taken away so easily. When he was a 33 year old child he had all the time in the world. When he’s a 40 year old man competes not just against his opponent but father time, and the latter is a fight he one day just won’t be able to win. It’s an opportunity he can’t afford to squander. He encourages the difficulty, and he embraces the challenge of getting back into the swing of competing while simultaneously supporting his wife’s career and spending large chunks of time traveling on planes to various cities (and soon to be countries) to make the local wrestling news circuits and local sports media to raise awareness of the return to the WFWF. It may not be an ideal way to begin training for the biggest match of his life, but Bobby Abadi tells him he needs his help and EBR responds in just. Bobby is the reason EBR even gets this chance, so he owes him that much. Teamwork makes the dreamwork, as he’s so recently learned.
German Montero: The marketing will begin in a couple of weeks. It’ll be on billboards and buses all throughout the country. Everyone will see it and everyone will know that SHE … is coming.
Even if it does take up an unexpectedly large chunk of his time because he just doesn’t have enough hours in the day to do everything he wants and needs to do, all while still getting the doctor recommended eight hours of sleep for peak physical performance, health, and cognitive function.
German Montero: … SHE is power. SHE … is love.
He’ll figure it out. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and he didn’t work this hard to fall flat on his face only mere inches before he crosses the finish line. In fact, he’s already made steady progress in his pursuit of making the necessary adjustments to achieve optimal results. That is to say, he’s been making sure to put an emphasis on not remaining sedanatic for longer than 30 minutes if possible.
Shelia: You have no idea how many ideas I have. I’ve been thinking about it and it’s time for my performances to extend past just the auditory and into the visual realm. Like … I want to merge the visceral with the spiritual, you know? Make people feel things … but even more.
German Montero: Yes, because SHE … is an experience.
Shelia: Exactly!
The rest of the jigsaw pieces will fit together in due time, and it will lead to the day EBR kneels in the middle of the ring, the World Heavyweight Championship pressed across his tear soaked face as he can finally join and bond with his wife in their respective greatness.
Shelia: We can hammer out the specifics, but I was tinkering with the concept last night and what if during “Savage” I smear some type of fake blood on my face and we just shine a spotlight on me and it’s just like … so raw and powerful and frisson.
Even if he did prefer her earlier work.
Shelia: It’ll just like, you know, enhance the music. Add an element of performance art to it, stuff like that. Oh, and pyro. It’s time we start going big with the pyro.
German Montero: I’ve said this time and time again but it bears repeating; you, Shelia Helena Espindola … are truly, a genius.
Shelia: Modestly Well I don’t know about that … I just understand the human spirit and want to share that with the world, you know? Music bonds us.
German Montero: Absolutely, and as such there will be no more perfect occasion to unveil the newest single than at the Tribute to Heroes benefit concert on September 11th, broadcasted nationally by the National Broadcasting Company.
Once the date is spoken by the very debonair German Montero, EBR’s focus immediately switches from his game of Trivia Crack to the conversation happening in front of him. It commands all of his attention and energy, which is very unfortunate both for the implication and that it allows the timer to run out before he could correctly answer that it was Illinois troops who captured General Santa Anna’s wooden leg after the U.S. victory at Cerro Gordo in 1847.
Shelia: That would be beautiful … pause but considering the circumstances …
German Montero: Don’t do the blood thing. It’s not the appropriate venue.
Shelia: And we should hold off on the pyro. Nothing that … explodes ….
German Montero: A little pyro is okay, just not too much. Too much is insensitive.
Shelia: Of course. I want to bring us together, never divide. Oh by the way, I asked for unsalted almonds on my rider but I had one earlier. There was salt on it.
Taking off his sunglasses dramatically, German Montero looks at Shelia to confirm this information. It is true.
There was salt.
German Montero: This will not stand.
Taking a deep breath through his nose, the very suave German Montero puts his sunglasses back on and pats himself on his expensive suit, collecting himself before heading towards the door and out of the room.
German Montero: If they think they can get away with sodium, they’ll think they can get away with everything.
Waiting until German Montero exits and until it is just them, EBR takes his own subtle deep breath and brings himself off of the couch. Now devoid of rounded shoulders and their ill-effects he saunters over towards Shelia, whose own attention is specifically devoted to the mirror in front of her face. EBR waits for several seconds until she notices him.
Shelia: Oh hey, let me ask you something … motioning towards eyelashes how do you think they’d look winged?
EBR: I don’t know what that means … so uh … about that concert on 9/11 …
Shelia: Yeah I’m really honored they asked me. It’s going to be a good time … I mean sure, we’re remembering a tragedy but like … music heals, yeah?
EBR:Right, of course … now look, I didn’t want to bring this up when German was here cause I didn’t want to embarrass you but um … September 11th …
Figuring that saying it should cause it to click, he waits for it to dawn on her. Nothing.
EBR: … We’re already uh … busy.
Shelia: With what?
EBR: … Scars & Stripes?
Shelia: I don’t know what that is. Is it like … some extreme dirt bike thing you’re into now?
EBR: It’s when I have my match for the Heavyweight Championship.
Shelia: Ooooh.
She nods slowly, but only for a very brief moment as they both awkwardly stare at one another until Shelia goes back to doing her make-up. Several moments pass before she responds to the silent glare she catches in the mirror.
Shelia: Turning back … My bad.
EBR: Wow.
Shelia: Yeah, I sort of dropped the ball on that one. Haha …. whoops, amirite?
It’s back to the mirror yet again. While EBR is trying to keep his cool, his glowering looks apparently come through, at least enough for his significant other to acknowledge.
Shelia: So … I can see that you’re upset, so I’d just like you to know that I recognize that you’re upset.
EBR: And?
Shelia: And it’s recognized. And I am sorry.
EBR: You seriously forgot.
Shelia: Yes, that’s been established. In the future I’ll make sure that Viv sets a reminder on her phone to remind me. The important thing is we can learn from this to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
EBR: I feel like you don’t really understand why I’m upset. You forgot.
Shelia: You’re choosing to take this more personally than it is. It just slipped my mind.
EBR: If I forgot your birthday I’d expect to get sh*t for it.
Shelia: My birthday is every year. It’s harder to forget.
EBR: It’s September 11th! That’s literally the date we said we’d never forget!
Shelia: Yet here we are. Life has a way of being unexpected like that.
Deep breath. Inhale through the nose. Hold it. Exhale. Stay calm. Act rationally. Look at it from someone else’s perspective. No problems. Only solutions.
EBR: Look … it’s whatever. Apology accepted, fine. Just let me talk to German, tell him the scheduling conflict, he’ll understand.
Even if it kills him inside to disappoint German Montero. He’s just such a cool guy. It’s probably the accent.
Shelia: I already agreed to do it. This is a big deal. It’s for the country. Imagine how it looks if I just drop out to go to … your … thing …
EBR: This is important to me. This is my life’s work … you do understand that, right? Like …
Breath. Inhale. Exhale. With his history of self-centeredness, narcissism, and selfishness he takes a quick second to assess the situation and allow him to self-evaluate his reaction. Look at it objectively, not subjectively.
Okay yeah, he’s good. He’s definitely in the right.
EBR: What the hell? Seriously? This is what I’ve been working towards for years before I even met you, and the one time - seriously, the one time - I expect you to be there and support me you just … don’t?
Shelia: I guess it’s just hard for me to understand how something can be so important to you when you’ve only done it four times over the course of two years.
At least he can take solace in the knowledge that she cares enough to remember each time.
Shelia: I specifically remember because it’s such a low number. It’s like “oh wow, he has a match - that’s unusual”.
He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous.
EBR: That’s … that’s a cheap shot that’s not even on me, so I dunno who you’re even really insulting -
Shelia: The WFWF was out of business for a year! It wasn’t a “break” - it was out of business! They had no money! German even explained to you what “insolvency” means! You didn’t even try to go anywhere else, so excuuuuuuuse me for just assuming you retired.
EBR: None of that was my choice.
Shelia: Going back there is. I don’t know why you’d even want to … She scoffs while applying eye shadow or did you forget when they coerced you into political theatre in Saudi Arabia?
The long text exchange on his phone between himself and Mohammed bin Salman discussing the HBO program The Wire ensures that he does not.
EBR: That was old management. It’s different now. It’s better. Much more courteous.
Shelia: They just had a riot in the Andrew Mellon Auditorium. They established NATO there … she turns towards his direction … NATO.
EBR: That was … very unfortunate.
He misses one show and an historic venue gets trashed. It is evident that EBR is the locker room leader.
EBR: I don’t condone that, but look …I can only lay it out straight, okay? Wrestling for the WFWF is what I do, and it’s all I want to do. So when you tell me you don’t respect the WFWF I gotta be honest; it feels like you’re telling me you don’t respect a big part of me.
Silence.
EBR: … Okay, that was a volley for you to refute that. That was the opening to say you do.
Silence.
EBR: … Jesus Christ!
Shelia: Two years ago you were wrestling in the Tokyo Dome. Now you’re going to be wrestling in some rec centre that has to schedule around a junior varsity basketball scrimmage. You’re moving backwards. You always told me you wanted to prove you were the greatest in the world. How does this help you accomplish that?
EBR: I’m glad you asked. DAVID HANDLECATCH -
Shelia: There’s no need to yell.
EBR: … Is one of the fiercest warriors in the world today.
Which is why before he even begins to think about preparing for Josh Dean he must study the man with the power of burning love pulsing through his veins. He will watch tape after tape, observing his every step and strategy and truly get into the mind of HANDLECATCH. How does he move? How does he think? These are the things EBR must learn, and learn he will, for he refuses to have his momentum halted ahead of his match against the illustrious Josh Dean. That road will be crossed in due time, and in the immediate future all eyes and efforts will be devoted to the man they call HANDLECATCH.
EBR: I may never be the same after we face each other.
Plus he really doesn’t win to suffer the embarrassment of having a poor performance against someone everyone expects him to beat easily.
Which to his chagrin, is sadly once again known as “pulling an Alex Sean”.
EBR: It’s just a case of iron sharpening iron.
Shelia: Just … if you’re going to do this … don’t you want to do it someplace where people will actually … care?
The general dismissiveness of the question makes the bluntness that much more biting.
SHE is hurting feelings.
EBR: I’m doing this for me.
Shelia: In front of 100 people.
EBR: It’s more than 100.
Shelia: All I’m trying to say is … you want to be the best … but if a tree falls in a forest and no one’s around …
EBR: People will hear it. That’s why they got me doing all that promotional stuff. It’s to bring the people back. We’re gonna bring the people back, Shelia. We’re gonna bring the people back and they’re gonna hear the tree falling, they’re gonna say “oh wow did you hear that tree fall?” “oh yeah, it was really loud”. They’ll say that.
Shelia: And why is any of that your problem? Why do they have you doing their marketing for them?
EBR: … Well … I assumed because I was good at it?
Shelia: You don’t need to be doing any of that. You could wrestle literally anywhere else … preferably one that won’t eventually ask you to do the accounting if you keep saying yes to things.
As if it were that easy and he couldn’t just stay in Japan. The WFWF is where he’s most remembered, for better or for worse. Unfortunately for him the worse was much more memorable than the better. So no, he cannot just go “anywhere else”. He didn’t shank Alex Sean with an ancient indian arrowhead and almost murder the man “anywhere else”, a fact which would be brought up routinely by Alex during their Rated X days only two years later. It was admittedly an effective way to get the last croissant.
Also just as a side note, while it may not be as felonious as the aforementioned homicide attempt, in retrospect that Indian phase might have been racist. Cultural appropriation at the very least.
EBR: It has to be the WFWF. There’s … reasons. It’s them or nothing, and I don’t want to do anything else.
Shelia: What happened to that fitness channel?
The influx of free time he was given in the past year led to an array of various hobbies, his YouTube channel devoted to workouts using resistance bands becoming the most visible. While lifting weights may be productive, over the years they’ll cause all sorts of aches and pains. That’s why the most efficient and safest way to build muscle is just with a couple of bands, and EBR’s got you covered on how. If you want some high energy, high intensity workouts and exercises which are easy on the joints then just smash that like button and hit subscribe for notifications whenever EBR puts out a new video.
Remember guys; it’s not how you train - it’s how effectively you train!
EBR: Yeah that’s cool and all …but it's not my passion.
Though it does remind him he needs to upload that bis & tris superset routine he recorded as part of his “EBArms” series. Those 500k subscribers rely on him for help in achieving their fitness goals, and it’s a duty and obligation EBR doesn’t take lightly. He can’t let them down, even if he is getting annoyed at the increasing number of “natty or not!?” videos made by other fitness channels, fitness coaches, and fitness influencers. You do steroids one time …
… well, it was technically many times over several years. But it was one chapter of his life.
Shelia: As long as you’re doing what you love, I guess.
There may have been a strong hint of cynicism in there, but EBR couldn’t fully tell. When in doubt, give the benefit of the doubt. That’s what his best self would do.
EBR: I understand how it looks unglamorous now … but it just needs time. It’s going to get better. We’re gonna fix the WFWF. We thought it was good then? It’s gonna be that much better in the future. We just have to work on it. Things can improve, Shelia. Things can get better, I promise you. It’s going to become the best version of the WFWF. It’ll become great, you’ll see.
Shelia: Maybe. Hopefully. But usually when people say that, things usually just end up staying the same.
The soft sound of the dressing room door knob turning slightly is heard throughout the room, before the door slightly grazes open.
Vivian: Hey, Shelia … so the Make-A-Wish-Foundation and Carly are both here …
Shelia: Oh yeah, great. Be there in one minute.
Rising from the chair, she turns towards her partner.
Shelia: Look, I sort of have to go …
EBR: Yeah, fine. I guess this conversation is over.
Shelia: … She’s a sick child. A child with lupus.
EBR: … How am I somehow the bad guy here?
Shelia: We can talk about this later, if you want …
EBR: No, it’s fine. There’s nothing to discuss. You’ve made your stance very clear.
Shelia: I’m not saying you’re not allowed to do it.
EBR: Oh, oh that’s good. I’m glad I got your permission.
Shelia: Don’t get moody.
EBR: You’re treating me like a child.
He’s a man. He’s 40.
Shelia: You can do whatever you want. If it’s important to you then you should do it. If anything, I admire your dedication.
EBR: Even if it embarrasses you.
Shelia: … Pretty much, yeah.
SHE is mean.
Shelia: … I shouldn’t have said that … at least not that directly .. I just think you could be doing other things.
SHE is trying to walk back her remarks.
Shelia: … Things that aren’t so … uh … frivolous …
SHE is doing a poor job of it.
Shelia: Look … I have my thing, you have your thing … it works for us. There’s nothing that says we need to be involved in each other’s worlds all the time. We both know how hard that can be.
EBR: Confused Well I don’t know if we both know that … cause only one of us has …
Shelia: Hey, I don’t make you do anything. That’s your choice. If you don’t want to come you don’t have to. You can do your other … ventures …
Subtly thrown shade notwithstanding, if what is next is what he thinks is next he will be very pleased. It may be exactly what he needs.
Shelia: I won’t be that upset if you miss performances. You can focus on your … thing …
A warm smile slowly spreads across his face. It is exactly what he thought it would be.
EBR: No baby, I don’t want to miss any of them. Your success is important to me.
In the zero hour, it is the universe once again testing him to ensure he stays on the proper path. An immature, selfish, et al. child would take the bite of the forbidden apple because they think it will give him the ever-lasting sustenance he needs.
The best version of himself would not. The best version knows the apple will never substitute for the gourmet meal.
EBR: If something is important to you, it’s important to me. I’mma be here when my schedule allows. I got you.
The best version of himself would continue to support his wife.
EBR: You should probably get going and go see Carly. I bet she’s really looking forward to meeting you.
Shelia: Yeah, she’s been through so much. So … you’re good, right?
EBR: 100%. The best.
Shelia: Good.
Heading towards the door, Shelia stops to turn around.
Shelia: How do I look?
EBR: You look stunning.
Satisfied, Shelia exits and closes the door behind her, leaving EBR to remain in the empty dressing room. Alone.
He takes a second just to appreciate where he is and how far he’s come. Eight years. Eight long, hard, tiresome, repetitive, redundant, years. All for the opportunity to finally put the finishing touches in the form of an exclamation point on his life’s work. It is only apt for him to face his greatest challenges and adversity in the final chapter. Darkest before the dawn, as it were.
The WFWF’s bankruptcy situation, being put on ice for a year during the twilight of his career, a wife who’s incapable of understanding his commitment to what she sees as inanity, and the disadvantage of facing an opponent in Josh Dean who is afforded the opportunity to train three times a day. It’s all noise. Just obstacles he’s either overcome or will continue to overcome. Just obstacles to try and make it that much more difficult.
But nothing worth doing is ever going to be easy. He knew that eight years ago, and in this very moment eight years later, he still knows it. It is an undertaking he has never wavered from, and it’ll make it that much more gratifying when the WFWF World Heavyweight Championship rests in his hands and he realizes that his dream has finally become reality.
And his legacy will finally be complete.
And it’ll all have been worth it.
And he’ll know it wasn’t all for nothing.
And he didn’t just waste eight years of his life.
And he will finally be truly and meaningfully happy.
Alone in the deserted dressing room, he observes the image left by German Montero on the vanity table. Several moments pass as he simply gazes at the album cover and its large bold letters. It may have taken him longer than anticipated, but he too will reach the mountaintop and he too will have his name become synonymous with greatness.
Actual greatness.
Slowly, he breaks his gaze and looks up towards his own reflection in the dressing room mirror. He is EBR.
He is smart.
He is kind.
He is important.
