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Post by Markw on Aug 8, 2022 15:52:20 GMT -5
 WFWF Knuckles Up in Boston – How Good Would It Feel?
July 19th 2022He'll Kick You Apart! He’ll Kick You Apart! Was such an amazin’ night. The adrenaline, the glamour, the drama. Honestly, was of the biggest rushes o’ ma life.
An’ it dawned on me, maybe this is ma calling.
Maybe this is who a was always meant to be.
Shuggy.
The Royal Scottish Country Dancer.
Rory O’Connor: So glad ye could make it. Shuggy: Aye, me too. Honestly? Wasnae gonna miss this for the world. Rory O’Connor: Glad to hear it. Gives me a great big pat on the back. No’ gonna lie these lads and lasses have meant to be doing this for years, but yous look round and it’s just a bit tame. I mean just all circling each other round a great big hall really. Anyone could do it.
Now me, I know it’s day one an’ all. But I’ve already got plenty o’ moves mastered. I got the Robot, the Carlton, even been known to bust out the Moonwalk. I’ll prolly save that one for a special occasion, but f*** me, I’m gonna blow their minds.
Rory O’Connor: Ok now everyone grab a partner and stand two feet apart. They flock to me, course the do. Eventually find masel standing across from a nice old lady who can hardly believe her luck.Rory O’Connor: Now first you’ll want to step towards each other and when you meet link your right arms. Starting off with some easy stuff. Ok, that’s cool, donnae want to show ma hand too quick anyhow.Rory O’Connor: Then turn 180 de… Wonder how long it’ll take them to work out I’m a natural.Rory O’Connor: …loop twice, then switch to… Isnae gonna be long surely.
Rory O’Connor: Ok, let’s go. The music starts, an’, wait what am I sposed ta be doin’?
Argh f***, well they’re getting improvising. And what an improvised routine it was, everyone staring an' so theys should be.
Ah bugger phone, just when I was starting to find my groove.Shuggy: Sorry folks gotta take this, be back with yer in a minute. Kyle: Hey bro, yer on speaker. We need you to settle an argument. Shuggy: Wha’ is it this time? Kyle: Trace did knock you oot right. Kelsie: He did not. Kyle: Totally did. Shuggy: What? Kyle: It’s all over the dirtsheets, some fans saw you passed out, apparently Trace knocked you oot after the show. Shuggy: At nae point last night did I lose consciousness. I think.Kelsie: Told you! Shuggy: Or… if I did… it were definitely the alcohol, not any fight. Kyle: So he knocked you oot. Wee c*** sounds so proud of himsel’Kelsie: For f*** sake.Shuggy: You have totally made this up ya fanny, Trace didnae attack me after the show. At least I donnae think he did? Did he? I mean anything coulda happened after tha’ show to be honest.Kelsie: I knew it. Kyle: Proves nothing, Shugs was clearly off his face, prolly just doesnae remember it. I’m sure I would remember.Kelsie: Pay up. Seriously?Shuggy: Yous bet on this? Kyle: I ain’t payin’, this proves nothin’. Shuggy: There wasnae any fight. Trace doesnae like me a whole lot, and tonight wouldnae have helped, but it’s just wrestling. He wouldnae just attack me out of the blue. Now shut up and pay her you bawbag. There prolly wasnae a fight to be fair.Shuggy: An’ for the love o’ God focus on yer training the pair of yous. Kelsie: Uh, yeah, of course, sorry. Kyle: This is so unfair. Shuggy: I’m hanging up now, gotta get back to the dancin’, behave yersels. Kyle: Danci-*beep* I didnae have the pair o’ em getting even more irritating when I’m not living with ‘em on ma bingo card.
Right where was I? Oh yeah, ma dancing. Time to show these folks they’re dealing wi’ a pro.
I moonwalk my way back into the hall like an absolute badass, an’ instantly insert myself into the moves, they’re all doing more o’ the same old same old boring s*** an’ I’m f***in’ stealin’ the show as per. Donnae seem that enthusiastic about it, but guess they’re just jealous.Rory O’Connor: Thank you Shuggy, maybe you could just sit this one out and pick up again at the next routine? Shuggy: Gotcha pal, say no more. Must admit, there is a wee part o’ me startin’ to think maybe I amnae cut out for this country dancing s*** after all. Like Back To The Future innit? They’re just not ready for me yet. Maybe I just been a bit home sick an’ this were a wee moment of crisis tha’ got outta hand?
Aye, you know what? F*** it. This sucks baws sober.---August 2nd 2022Most of the time, you make a mistake, an error of judgement, an’ honestly? Doesnae matter.
You can completely misjudge someone an’ frankly the worst that usually happens is yous get your feelings hurt. Isnae nice, but, at the end o’ the day? Who gives a s***.
You move on with yer life.
But I’ve made a mistake that I cannae just move on from.
I assumed tha’ we were having a wee professional spat.
I thought tha’ Trace just wanted an easy victory to kick things off and then to go hunting the title again, an’ you know what? I coulda lived with that.
I didnae think, not even for a second, tha’ it was this personal. That he was gonna do anything like this.
And now, here I am, sat across from Joe, separated by my, thankfully finally sleeping, friend. Her face bandaged up, her spirit completely sapped.Joe: I’m going to f***ing kill him. Shuggy: Get in the queue. Frankly donnae think we’re the only two in it, maybe just the most enthusiastic.Shuggy: I donnae get why? Why’d he do it? Joe: He doesn’t see human beings. He sees toys. Shuggy: What a f***in’ piece of s***. Joe: That’s Trace Demon. Would have been a good idea not to get involved. Shuggy: I’m sorry. F***, I’m so sorry.Joe: It’s done. I’m just going have to make him pay for it now. Shuggy: Let me. He half laughs, an’ it hurts a wee bit, but it’s fair.Shuggy: Poppy needs you. I know I amnae near his level, but I donnae need to be wrestling wise, just needa make him suffer. You know Trace, you can help me, but there isnae much point you doin’ it and not bein’ here to support her. He looks like he’ll at least give it a bitta thought.Shuggy: I mean like, I’ve got the advantage of bein’ an active wrestler, I can do what needs to be done an’ get away wi’ it. Joe: I suppose. Bing Joe looks at his phone and lets out a derisive snigger.Shuggy: Wha'? Joe: They’ve suspended him. Shuggy: Well good. Joe: Really? That’s what you were hoping for? A suspension? Bet it came with a pretty nasty slap on the wrist too. Shuggy: Well they cannae just fire him outright I guess? Gotta be legal stuff or some s***? Joe: Legal stuff? He threw a fireball, into her face. Cannae argue with that.Joe: They won’t fire him. They won’t do a f***ing thing. If you think Bobby Abadi is any different from the rest of them you’re in for a nasty wake up call Hugh. They don’t care about people. They care about profit, and they know people are gonna pay big money to see Trace now, if they weren’t already. Shuggy: Depressing. Joe: Yep. But that’s the way it is. He’ll be back in no time at all, no real punishment, no hope of him learning any lesson. They don’t give a s*** about that. They’ll suspend him long enough for the sponsors to forget it and then bang back before you know it. Honestly, hard to disagree.Joe: I guess we’ve just got to make sure you’re ready when he does. Shuggy: I will be. He doesnae look amused.Joe: Trace has been doing this since you were watchin’ the WFWF in your ET pyjamas… Since Loaded?Joe: If you shut up and listen to every ounce of insight I can give you on that man, then you might have a one in a hundred chance of being ready for this. Shuggy: Got it. Joe: And believe me, it’s not gonna be easy. I nod.Shuggy: I’m so sorry. I know I shoulda listened to you, shoulnae have come back to this place, put Poppy and Ellie around these people. I’m so f***in’ sorry. He doesnae say a word, and why should he? It’s true. This is on Trace Demon, but it’s on me too.
I’ve made a mistake that I cannae move on from.
And Trace, so have you.
---I havnae got a problem with you Steve. Dinnae really give a s*** about ya to be honest.
But the thing is, at Knuckles Up, yer gonna be the victim o’ some real poor timing.
See I will nae be stepping into the ring with Karate Steve.
At Knuckles Up yer gonna be playin’ the part o’ Trace Demon. From now until I get ma hands on tha’ prick in the middle of tha’ squared circle, every match is a dress rehearsal. Every match is ma preparation for making him pay for what he’s done to Poppy, to Joe, to Me.
And mostly for my daughter. I’m gonna have to live with seein’ her scream at our telly, tears bawling doon her face, beggin’ for her Mummy. Beggin’ for that man to stop hurting her mum.
Feeling f***in’ powerless to do anythin’ ‘bout it.
Knowin’, that there’s a wee bit of it, on ma heed.
Every match is about me getting masel to a point where I can face that man in the ring, and do what he does better than him.
Make him f***in’ suffer for thinkin’ that his f***in’ pride is more important than people’s lives.
Believe me bud, if we were doin’ this a couple of weeks ago, I’d have been right up for a bit of fun. I’d a been throwin’ my money at NFTs. I’d a been explaining in great depth why yer wrong about Lucky Charms. I’d a been googlin’ Paul Walker so I could tell yous all whether or no’ I give a s***.
But not now, sorry bud, woulda been fun, but I cannae be that person now.
At Knuckles Up, yer Trace Demon, an’ believe me, that isnae who you wanna be, right now, against me. |
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Joined on: Nov 21, 2024 4:15:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2022 22:48:58 GMT -5
It's no secret that I love me some Shuggy and considering what happened to Poppy at the end of Loaded, I was anticipating this piece.... and I loved it.
First off, I love the embedded music to go along with this RP. I will always put that over, haha
Secondly, Shuggy's reaction is exactly what I was expecting it to be. He's not the type to get angry but rather, be super serious in contrast to his usual joking self which only solidified the gravity of the situation with Poppy as well as further the storyline with Trace. I have to also commend Trace and yourself for turning this rivalry into something deep and meaningful from Shuggy interrupting Trace at the press conference. It was something so small and it could've been just a throwaway thing (I definitely missed that it was going to lead to a full-fledged rivalry) but it's turned into my favorite thing going on in the WFWF right now. Whether you're writing as Joe, Rosa or Shuggy, you have this ability to give your characters their own voices, thought patterns and reactions. Joe Bishop being miserable is one thing but to have Shuggy remain calm. I think most people expected Shuggy to go on a rampage but he didn't yet he still remained strong and believable heading into his match against Trace. Brilliant stuff.
Even when you threw in humor with the scene with Kyle and Kelsie, it didn't take anything away from the gravity and lingering weight following the attack on Poppy. Masterfully done!
Your monologues have always been your secret ingredient. I remember when we faced off for a second time when I became the Vanguard Champion and your RP was titled "No Thought Was Put Into This" and while it was written during a low point in your run, it was still a damn good piece. That's just how good of a writer you are! One thing that I still struggle with to this day is writing a babyface promo. You write babyface promos with such ease and to me, there's no edge or heelish attributes to Shuggy. He's 100% babyface and the monologues here were another example of that. Not going to lie, I'm tried to model a Mesh monologue after one of yours but I can't seem to pull it off so I will always applaud you for that.
All in all, great work here. I don't have nothing but positive things to say here!
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Post by sonstuds on Aug 10, 2022 15:30:20 GMT -5
Yeah, a pretty solid piece to help continue the Shuggy/Trace feud. You really have a great character going with Shuggy so it's awesome to see him not get so consumed with rage that he drifts too much to a different personality, and I'm not sure if I've said it before but whether by design or just happenstance you have the perfect counter to that with the inclusion of Joe Bishop. Bishop can be the voice of skepticism/pessimism/negativity and it allows you to write both good dude Shuggy while still being able to diss other people without it coming from Shuggy. Best of both worlds tbh. It's not really a critique and more of a faint suggestion, but with the brevity of the closing monologue and the RP being written in a first person perspective it's possible you could combine the two, but admittedly if the closing monologue is supposed to function as a promo aired for the masses then that probably doesn't work very well.
Nice job.
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Post by Swarm on Aug 10, 2022 22:48:43 GMT -5
I thought this was solid stuff!
Individually, I liked each segment. The first scene was funny, whimsical, charming, all the best components of your stuff recently with Shuggy. The second scene was very effective being juxtaposed with the first and, as E pointed out, having Bishop represent one way of reacting to this for Shuggy to be juxtaposed with... just a veritable cornucopia of juxtaposition. The final monologue was solid as well though I was less taken with it for a couple of reasons. The first is, the premise of a showcase match isn't really to be about the opponent because their opponent is a complete jobber. So there is a degree where cutting a promo on Karate Steve is a little like someone cutting a promo on SD Jones, Duane Gill, etc... My other issue is the monologue felt a little more like, conclusive in Shuggy's mental state than the scenes seemed to leave him in. I really liked how the previous scene was mostly consumed by his regret, his feelings of responsibility and then the monologue was ultimately him telling us of a resolve he's found as opposed to really showing us him getting there.
I almost could imagine a scenario where the final monologue's premise would have been him cutting the promo in his typical, whimsical, babyface Shuggy way and then kind of increasingly realizing that he can't be doing that, he has to take things seriously, he doesn't get to be the fun-loving guy right now, and then like, walking off set in a sort of "the time for talk is over" kind of way. In a sense, instead of him telling us he can't be the wee green man right now, show us him coming to that conclusion.
But like I said, individually each scene worked and it wasn't like the monologue was wildly out of place or anything, just maybe a little less thematically cohesive than it could have been. Altogether, good stuff, and I'm really excited to see what you pull out for Scars and Stripes!
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Post by Markw on Aug 11, 2022 1:04:54 GMT -5
Thanks all, really appreciate the feedback. Just wanted to give my thoughts on a couple of points. It's not really a critique and more of a faint suggestion, but with the brevity of the closing monologue and the RP being written in a first person perspective it's possible you could combine the two, but admittedly if the closing monologue is supposed to function as a promo aired for the masses then that probably doesn't work very well. Honestly, and this won’t reflect well at all, but I don’t really know what the monologues are. I’ve always felt like they should be public knowledge/an opponent should know they happened and be able to retort – but I don’t know in my head how they’re shared. I started writing monologues essentially because everyone else did, originally with settings and description but I struggled to make that believable and the people whose work I was really enjoying here were doing setting-less closing monologues. So I just stole that and people really responded to them positively/they always seemed to be a strength so I was reluctant to worry too much about it. It’s something I probably need to give some more thought so I at least have an answer to that second point. My other issue is the monologue felt a little more like, conclusive in Shuggy's mental state than the scenes seemed to leave him in. I really liked how the previous scene was mostly consumed by his regret, his feelings of responsibility and then the monologue was ultimately him telling us of a resolve he's found as opposed to really showing us him getting there. Very fair. I think the issue there’s kind of two-fold, one part is that I cut some bits because I wanted to really flesh out the scenes on the back of the previous feedback and my time management wasn’t good enough to do it for what I originally planned. Although I’m not sure it would have made a huge amount of difference because the second is, that it feels like I’ve failed to convey where I wanted Shuggy to be at in that second scene. I don’t know if that’s because I leant too much into Joe’s anger, or if the dialogue was a bit off or if I just leant on the guilt side a bit too much. But really I wanted Shuggy to be very much as angry as Joe (just maybe not as pessimistic), with like a side order of guilt about the whole situation to. Whereas I think what I ended up conveying flipped those. The first is, the premise of a showcase match isn't really to be about the opponent because their opponent is a complete jobber. So there is a degree where cutting a promo on Karate Steve is a little like someone cutting a promo on SD Jones, Duane Gill, etc... I do disagree with this for a few reasons (And obviously I kind of don’t like the idea of uncompetitive E-Fed matches so that’s colouring my view a little). Partly because, this fed has a history of comedy and joke characters winning matches they would never have been expected to. I’m sure Hugh Jass had at least a couple of victories to his name against serious opponents. We had a hobo tag team lead to one of the most successful champions in the promotion’s history. Why shouldn’t we take them seriously? I know that now the position is going to be that if there’s a no-show the match doesn’t happen or the serious opponent is replaced, but that’s not been the case for almost all of the fed's existence and in my mind three weeks of that approach isn’t going to have changed the mindset when the fans have been used to seeing those mainly no-show induced shocks before. I think they're waiting for one of these matches to end in a big upset personally. And then there’s also that, I think there’s a big part of Shuggy that thinks he has been brought in to do the same role. He’s 5’6”, little physique, has no experience in other feds, has been told throughout his training by Joe that he’s a joke who shouldn’t be near a wrestling ring and was told by his trainer Andy that he’s getting everything too fast and that he’s not ready for it. His record from his first run wasn’t great. There’s an uber confident, extrovert side to him, but I don’t think he’s oblivious to the fact that he’s not very good. And so I don’t see why he should be treating anybody like they’re his jobber. In Shuggy’s mind he's a showcase wrestler who’s hopefully going to surprise some people like he did with Johnny. |
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Post by Drakz on Aug 23, 2022 15:52:52 GMT -5
This was good stuff. Shuggy having another go at the dancing was funny stuff, but obviously the real meat was in him talking to Joe. It was good seeing what Trace's actions brought out in Shuggy, and I think the way you spoke about Karate Steve reflected that. The fact that Shugs was no longer up for fun and games with Steve made sense in the context of both characters.
What I will say though, is that this RP actually made me more excited about the possibility of a Joe Bishop return to face Trace Demon than anything else.
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Post by jdfranchise on Sept 6, 2022 22:00:40 GMT -5
I agree on pretty well all the points the guys ahead of me made on this. Shuggy is a good down to earth dude, and you showed those kinda cats can still be that and have potentially a nasty streak when pushed. Each section was written solidly, but I have to agree with Pops especially that we got to the meat of it when Hugh sat down with Joe. Great use of the two contrasting voices to show how badly Trave needs to pay for his transgressions and that both men want it. Joe is such a bitter guy that it works to sober up Hugh who is running on rage.
I'm glad you cut a short promo on Steve. I've always thought promos were your strength, so to use it more to further the narrative was a nice touch.
What I like that you did is what I'd say a lot of people would've expected you to do and you didn't, which is having an extended scene with just Poppy and Shuggy. That needs to be saved for a payoff so we can get that emotion.
Nice job man.
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