Scars and Stripes RP - The Persistence of Vermin, prt. 1

I think this is an example of a roleplay that, perhaps, considering its objectives, would have benefited from more show than tell. It seems to me like the objective here was to reintroduce the character and update us on his current status in life. That's a logical objective for a returning character. But most of this is just him telling us, for no discernible reason, separated from any discernible context, the information of his current status in life, and as such it kind of feels less like a glimpse into his mindset and more like a checklist of sorts. I think the ideas are all there, him returning to this modest life focusing on his family and his recovery, having the occasional itch to get back into the ring, etc... but instead of really getting a sense of how he feels about any of this and how those dynamics effect him on a daily basis, we're just sort of told the information.

I really think a version of this RP that shows him picking up his daughter from school, going to an AA meeting, maybe catching POISON's promo from the last show calling out a "real challenge", watching the itch to return take hold in his mind, could have been really compelling. In that sense I think the ideas are all there but the execution of this as a straight monologue, particularly one so centered on exposition, holds back those ideas substantially. I feel like to be a pure monologue, this probably should have been more centered on POISON and perhaps used some of what is going on his personal life as grist for the mill, so to speak, toward the broader point the monologue may have made.

I also would like to point out that POISON's deal is an open challenge from POISON himself so the idea would be that participants are reaching out on their end to answer the call, not so much WFWF reaching out on their end to find challengers for him. That's not a huge issue but I think, in the case of this RP itself, it having been a scenario where he sees POISON making the open challenge, is growing somewhat tired of the doldrums of his now-mundane life, and chooses to accept the challenge makes for a much more compelling scenario than him just being randomly called out of the blue to face POISON IMO.

So altogether I think the concept of where this character is in his life has some legs but I don't necessarily think the execution here served that concept particularly effectively. I do look forward to seeing more from you with this character, though. =)