Post by Kurt Burton: Script Doctor! on May 25, 2006 1:15:05 GMT -5
A TV studio... The stage is dark, except for the applause light. In the audience, there are only three viewers; a gigantic construction worker, a little old black lady, dressed prim and proper, and a twelve year old, dressed in a Drakz T-shirt. The lights go up, and on the stage is a bright obnoxiously green couch, A desk that is incredibly beaten up, with a back drop of a crowded wrestling arena. There is a large black curtain to the left of the stage. Manny C's voice booms over the speakers
Manny C: Welcome to the WFWF's greatest talk show...Metal Mayhem starring Kurt Burton...tonight's guest...the orgy title table match participants.Please welcome your co-host for the evening.... the lovely...vivacious vixen...Kat Hamilton!
Kat Hamilton Saunters on to the stage, she is dressed in a slutty red dress, with her cleavage so exposed her breasts are practically hanging out. The Construction worker stands up and gives a very loud wolf whistle. Kat steps up to the audience. The construction worker continues whistling. The twelve year old's jaw has dropped to the floor. The little old granny rolls her eyes in disgust. Kat blows the crowd a kiss.
Kat: Thank you. I know what you all are thinking... why am I with Kurt. It's obvious. He has one fat wallet, and tips very well. I give him all the best lap dances. I want to take the opportunity to introduce our announcer, and future one half of the Orgy champions... "Hitman" Manny C.
Kat points to the top of the bleachers and the crowd turns their heads to look. Manny is dressed in a plaid suit with ripped off sleeves, his arms bulging out of the jacket. He has a F*ck the System shirt on underneath the jacket. He takes a bow in a very mocking fashion.
Manny: And the man of the hour...your host with the most...Kurt Burton.
A cheesy lounge act version of Whatever plays. Kurt steps out from the curtain...dressed in his usual leather jacket, Xtreme Karnage tour shirt, and leather pants. His flourescent green hair is tied back in a ponytail. A spotlight illuminates him, as he walks toward the audience, and throws his arms out in the rock star cross pose. The audience gives a half-hearted clap.
Kurt: Thank you... we have a great show for you tonight. Our guest list includes our opponents this Sunday... all eight of them. But before we get on with the show...I just want to say congratulations to our new owners Drakz and Kyzer... finally, some people I can relate to in a position of authority. By the way boys...I have a kilo out in the car...and I got five straws... nudge nudge.
Kurt winks at the audience. The little old black lady holds her hand up and cocks her head in disgust. The twelve year old jumps to his feet.
!2 year old: Drakz Rules!
Kurt: That's nice kid... so anyway...this is the part where I tell a joke or too...but with the amazingly packed show...we're going to move straight to the interview segment of the show.
Kurt takes Kat in his arm...and walks her over to the couch. He sits behind the worn out desk and grabs a pen. He starts drumming on the desk.
Kurt: So Manny... who's first on the list?
Manny: Well, first I have to report a cancellation... Cardinal will not be able to make it to the show tonight on account of his legal problems.
Kurt: Ahh...road rage...that's right. Homicide: Life with a geek. Just kidding folks... I wish Cardinal all the best...I think he'll have a blast in prison. I can just imagine shower time, that soap just won't stay in his hands.
The audience is not ammused.
Manny: We do have his partner Justin...
Kurt: Ahhh...f^ck it, why not...bring Justin out...Justin...
A midget dressed like Justin Tiger waddles out from behind the curtain. Kurt springs to his feet and begins clappping furiously. The audience does not react at all...they are still unamused. He flashes gang signs at the audience. He curls his lip and strikes a pimp pose. Kat laughs at him. He gives her the gunclick salute, and winks at her, then he turns and waddles to the near end of the couch.He takes a seat as does Kurt.
Kurt: Welcome to Metal Mayhem Justin... So, how's it hanging.
Midget Justin: To tha left G hommie...
A pin could be heard in the room.
Kurt: So, you dress like a gangsta, you call yourself a *****, but from what I can see... you're pastier than a bag of Marshmellows. What gives man?
Midget Justin: I just gotta represent for tha hood playa.
Kurt chuckles. he slides his chair up close to his guest, and raises his eyebrow, signalling the next question will be a doozy.
Kurt: I see... so at Scars and Stripes, you're one of the smaller opponents on the card... I mean, do you think you can win? Or did it cross your mind that you might come up a little short?
Midget: Well, ya see Kurt, I tink dat I can win da orgy title. Besides, it's not tha size ov da package...
Kurt quickly swoops into Justin's face.
Kurt: Well, when the package contains a platter of shrimp it does matter... You know, an orgy is a team effort, and I don't think you can have an orgy with just one person. Did that ever cross that pathetic pipsqueak mind of yours, or do you just really think the "Ultraviolent Messiah" can jerk the curtain solo style.... don't even bother to answer you pea-brained backyard f^ck. Why don't you pack up your little boots and hit the yellow brick road!
The Midget gets a pissed off look on his face and flips off Kurt. Kurt looks over to Manny, and gives him the signal. Manny runs downthe stairs directly to midget Justin, grabs him by his droopy pants and picks him straight up. He then spins holding the midget in his hand, and hurls the poor dwarf as though he were a discus.
Kurt: I'm sure at Scars and Stripes... we'll see Justin Tyger and whatever slap shod no talent last second team he put together go down quicker than a hooker at a rapper's birthday party.
The twelve year old kid springs up.
Kid: Where's Drakz?
Kurt: Huh?
Kid: You said Drakz was going to be here...
Kurt: Kid, you are in the presence of the first ever orgy champions, not to mention, the lovely Kat Hamilton, the breast wrestler in town... so let me give you a little German lesson...Quitcherbitchin. Speaking of German, we're going to take a quick commercial break, and then we'll be right back with our next guests, the International...something or other.
TO BE CONTINUED>>>[/i]
Manny C: Welcome to the WFWF's greatest talk show...Metal Mayhem starring Kurt Burton...tonight's guest...the orgy title table match participants.Please welcome your co-host for the evening.... the lovely...vivacious vixen...Kat Hamilton!
Kat Hamilton Saunters on to the stage, she is dressed in a slutty red dress, with her cleavage so exposed her breasts are practically hanging out. The Construction worker stands up and gives a very loud wolf whistle. Kat steps up to the audience. The construction worker continues whistling. The twelve year old's jaw has dropped to the floor. The little old granny rolls her eyes in disgust. Kat blows the crowd a kiss.
Kat: Thank you. I know what you all are thinking... why am I with Kurt. It's obvious. He has one fat wallet, and tips very well. I give him all the best lap dances. I want to take the opportunity to introduce our announcer, and future one half of the Orgy champions... "Hitman" Manny C.
Kat points to the top of the bleachers and the crowd turns their heads to look. Manny is dressed in a plaid suit with ripped off sleeves, his arms bulging out of the jacket. He has a F*ck the System shirt on underneath the jacket. He takes a bow in a very mocking fashion.
Manny: And the man of the hour...your host with the most...Kurt Burton.
A cheesy lounge act version of Whatever plays. Kurt steps out from the curtain...dressed in his usual leather jacket, Xtreme Karnage tour shirt, and leather pants. His flourescent green hair is tied back in a ponytail. A spotlight illuminates him, as he walks toward the audience, and throws his arms out in the rock star cross pose. The audience gives a half-hearted clap.
Kurt: Thank you... we have a great show for you tonight. Our guest list includes our opponents this Sunday... all eight of them. But before we get on with the show...I just want to say congratulations to our new owners Drakz and Kyzer... finally, some people I can relate to in a position of authority. By the way boys...I have a kilo out in the car...and I got five straws... nudge nudge.
Kurt winks at the audience. The little old black lady holds her hand up and cocks her head in disgust. The twelve year old jumps to his feet.
!2 year old: Drakz Rules!
Kurt: That's nice kid... so anyway...this is the part where I tell a joke or too...but with the amazingly packed show...we're going to move straight to the interview segment of the show.
Kurt takes Kat in his arm...and walks her over to the couch. He sits behind the worn out desk and grabs a pen. He starts drumming on the desk.
Kurt: So Manny... who's first on the list?
Manny: Well, first I have to report a cancellation... Cardinal will not be able to make it to the show tonight on account of his legal problems.
Kurt: Ahh...road rage...that's right. Homicide: Life with a geek. Just kidding folks... I wish Cardinal all the best...I think he'll have a blast in prison. I can just imagine shower time, that soap just won't stay in his hands.
The audience is not ammused.
Manny: We do have his partner Justin...
Kurt: Ahhh...f^ck it, why not...bring Justin out...Justin...
A midget dressed like Justin Tiger waddles out from behind the curtain. Kurt springs to his feet and begins clappping furiously. The audience does not react at all...they are still unamused. He flashes gang signs at the audience. He curls his lip and strikes a pimp pose. Kat laughs at him. He gives her the gunclick salute, and winks at her, then he turns and waddles to the near end of the couch.He takes a seat as does Kurt.
Kurt: Welcome to Metal Mayhem Justin... So, how's it hanging.
Midget Justin: To tha left G hommie...
A pin could be heard in the room.
Kurt: So, you dress like a gangsta, you call yourself a *****, but from what I can see... you're pastier than a bag of Marshmellows. What gives man?
Midget Justin: I just gotta represent for tha hood playa.
Kurt chuckles. he slides his chair up close to his guest, and raises his eyebrow, signalling the next question will be a doozy.
Kurt: I see... so at Scars and Stripes, you're one of the smaller opponents on the card... I mean, do you think you can win? Or did it cross your mind that you might come up a little short?
Midget: Well, ya see Kurt, I tink dat I can win da orgy title. Besides, it's not tha size ov da package...
Kurt quickly swoops into Justin's face.
Kurt: Well, when the package contains a platter of shrimp it does matter... You know, an orgy is a team effort, and I don't think you can have an orgy with just one person. Did that ever cross that pathetic pipsqueak mind of yours, or do you just really think the "Ultraviolent Messiah" can jerk the curtain solo style.... don't even bother to answer you pea-brained backyard f^ck. Why don't you pack up your little boots and hit the yellow brick road!
The Midget gets a pissed off look on his face and flips off Kurt. Kurt looks over to Manny, and gives him the signal. Manny runs downthe stairs directly to midget Justin, grabs him by his droopy pants and picks him straight up. He then spins holding the midget in his hand, and hurls the poor dwarf as though he were a discus.
Kurt: I'm sure at Scars and Stripes... we'll see Justin Tyger and whatever slap shod no talent last second team he put together go down quicker than a hooker at a rapper's birthday party.
The twelve year old kid springs up.
Kid: Where's Drakz?
Kurt: Huh?
Kid: You said Drakz was going to be here...
Kurt: Kid, you are in the presence of the first ever orgy champions, not to mention, the lovely Kat Hamilton, the breast wrestler in town... so let me give you a little German lesson...Quitcherbitchin. Speaking of German, we're going to take a quick commercial break, and then we'll be right back with our next guests, the International...something or other.
TO BE CONTINUED>>>[/i]
