Post by miwwfke on Jul 3, 2006 22:34:08 GMT -5
{Beautiful. Long. Bare. Perfectly tanned. Hott. A pair of legs fitting these descriptions are in a pair of black, high-heel shoes, standing up. A small piece of black cloth lies on the perfectly cut, green grass connected to both of those too-good-to-put-into-words-call-them-whatever-you-want things. A soft moan swifts into our ears. And then two hands, fitting all of the descriptions of the legs, and also including the descriptions of soft, delicate, and a darkish red nail color, grab the very tiny piece of black cloth and pull it up a few miles, and right when a big bump is just slightly seen at the top of the screen, the camera accidentally falters and falls to the ground. When the camera gets into focus in its correct position, a woman, the owner of the described legs, hands, and what is obviously a thong, is wearing the little thong (it almost appears as if she isn’t even wearing it) and a bra that isn’t as skimpy, seeing as they are outside and this woman probably doesn’t fancy a cold. Looking at the woman, she is very beautiful all over, not just around her legs. Her long, brown hair lays perfectly on her strong, yet not creepy-muscled shoulders. Has anyone noticed the background yet? No? Yeah, that’s understandable. The woman lifts her leg and places it on the top of a black car hood. The black on the car hood eventually, abruptly, turns into white on other parts of the car. Blue and red lights, although not currently turned on, lie on top of the car. A man suddenly comes into view wearing a blue police uniform and the black pants that go along with it. A black hand gun rests in a leather pouch on the side of the police officer. The police officer, who has a dirty blond mustache and is wearing sunglasses that so many police officers seem to wear in the summer, zips up his pants.}
Police Officer: Mam? I’m sorry, but I need to fill out a brief little form. Standard procedure, you understand.
{A soft, but firm voice responds.}
Woman: Am I in trouble, officer? I was only going a little over the speed limit.
{The police officer whips off his sunglasses and opens his eyes wide in disbelief at the woman. He quickly puts the sunglasses back on; it’s sunny outside today.}
Police Officer: Mam! You were going ninety on a forty five! That is…
{A loud, high-pitch cry interrupts the police officer.}
Woman: Oh, no! I’m going to die! I’m going to the electric chair, aren’t I?
Police Officer: No, of course not. We use the injection in this state.
{The woman actually screams.}
Police Officer: No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I meant that we don’t use the electric chair here, but you wouldn’t get it anyways. Punishment for speeding WAY too fast would just be losing your license. But, sweetheart, we already took care of that.
{The police officer takes off his sunglasses and gives the woman an odd wink. He then puts the sunglasses on again.}
Woman: Oh, you big animal you!
{The police officer chuckles and grabs a clipboard he had placed on his police car earlier. A few sheets and a pen are attached to the clipboard.}
Police Officer: Ok, mam, you’re not in trouble, we just need to fill out a few sheets even when we pull people over, alright? It’s no cause for alarm. What did you say your name was?
Woman: I didn’t tell you my name, big boy. Duh!
Police Officer: I know, mam, I meant that I need your name.
Woman: We already did it! Now you want me personnel information too! You are just too much.
{The police officer, who is getting noticeably frustrated, responds in a louder, firmer voice than before.}
Police Officer: Mam, I need your name for this damn sheet! Give me your name or I’m going to arrest your ass.
Woman: Oh, sweet Jesus, is it your time of the month? My name is Veronica.
Police Officer: Thank you. Veronica what?
Veronica: Just Veronica.
Police Officer: Ok, fine, whatever, you’re just Veronica. Ok, I don’t care what your name is. Ok. Occupation?
Veronica: Um…student.
Police Officer: Oh, really? Where do you go?
Veronica: NYU. And to answer your next question, I’m getting my doctorate to become a doctor.
{Veronica and the police officer both laugh.}
Veronica: Oh, I almost forgot. I have a summer job. Do you need that for your sheet?
Police Officer: Yes’m.
Veronica: Wrestler. For the WFWF. Let’s not talk about it anymore than that, please.
{The police officer makes some scribbles on his clipboard.}
Police Officer: Oh…I’ve never seen you on WFWF before?
Veronica: Oh, you watch it? I don’t. I hate wrestling. It’s sooo boring and stupid. The Intergalastic Spaceman Title? Pfff. I’m pretty good though at wrestling. I was in IE..
{Veronica suddenly shut her mouth tightly.}
Police Officer: What? What were you in?
…
Police Officer: What were you in?
{But Veronica wasn’t listening. She was shaking from head to toe to thong. Tears of anger started streaming from her eyes.}
Veronica: I was in IEW. That
ing bitch!
{Veronica let out an angry sob. Then another one. Then she started breathing hard.}
Police Officer: Do you need an ambulance?
Veronica: NO! It’s just…I hate her so much.
Police Officer: Who?
{Veronica let out a shriek.}
Veronica: Meg! Megan! Meg Warner! She ruined my life! I want to kill her. Please, please, let me borrow your gun.
{Veronica put her hands out towards the gun and the police officer slapped her hand away.}
Veronica: You’re right. I need something more painful than a gun. I heard some place is having a sale on chainsaws.
Police Officer: Mam, shut up. Shut up! I have the duty to report things like you just said. I don’t want to, but I could lose my job if I don’t! I’m not going to, but if I hear one more comment…
{Veronica put her hands to her mouth. She then continued with her hands out in a pleading manner.}
Veronica: Sorry, sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just that…ho bag…ruined my life. I was a straight A student. I was taking some pro-wrestling class in college or whatever, right? It was a stupid little class that my mother and some friends and family wanted me to do because I’m so good at sports, you know? So I did the dumb thing. I had a project to make an impact on the wrestling industry.
{Veronica let out a sniff.}
Veronica: I joined IEW. Meg’s promotion. I won my first match and was even named wrestler of the week. I knew I was going to get an A. And then it happened. Meg decided to end IEW. Just quit it for “personnel reasons”. YOU WHORE MEGAN, it was probably just to go sleep with some guy who is a druggy and who would put her in jail and play with goldfish.
{Veronica took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Her shoulders lowered a little and she started breathing regularly again.}
Veronica: Ok, I’m good now. Now, I scored a contract with the WFWF. And my total goal is to get to Meg. She only faces men now, and she’s in and out of jail, but I’m going to get to her. I’m going to go through every single bitch and queer in that whore house until I get to the queen herself. And then…
{Veronica made a motion with her hand like she was firing a gun. She then blew the top of her index finger, the top of her gun.}
Veronica: I’m coming. Yeah, damn right, I’m coming. And Meg, she better watch out, because right when she turns into that dark corner, she’ll never knew what hit her. And all them others, they’re just pawns in the whole game, and I’m a Queen. And Queens always beat the pawns.
{Veronica suddenly collapsed, almost hitting the ground, but the police officer caught her. Veronica open her eyes and apologized, not knowing what came over. The office offered her a seat in his air-conditioned police car to fill out the rest of the white forms.}
Police Officer: Mam? I’m sorry, but I need to fill out a brief little form. Standard procedure, you understand.
{A soft, but firm voice responds.}
Woman: Am I in trouble, officer? I was only going a little over the speed limit.
{The police officer whips off his sunglasses and opens his eyes wide in disbelief at the woman. He quickly puts the sunglasses back on; it’s sunny outside today.}
Police Officer: Mam! You were going ninety on a forty five! That is…
{A loud, high-pitch cry interrupts the police officer.}
Woman: Oh, no! I’m going to die! I’m going to the electric chair, aren’t I?
Police Officer: No, of course not. We use the injection in this state.
{The woman actually screams.}
Police Officer: No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I meant that we don’t use the electric chair here, but you wouldn’t get it anyways. Punishment for speeding WAY too fast would just be losing your license. But, sweetheart, we already took care of that.
{The police officer takes off his sunglasses and gives the woman an odd wink. He then puts the sunglasses on again.}
Woman: Oh, you big animal you!
{The police officer chuckles and grabs a clipboard he had placed on his police car earlier. A few sheets and a pen are attached to the clipboard.}
Police Officer: Ok, mam, you’re not in trouble, we just need to fill out a few sheets even when we pull people over, alright? It’s no cause for alarm. What did you say your name was?
Woman: I didn’t tell you my name, big boy. Duh!
Police Officer: I know, mam, I meant that I need your name.
Woman: We already did it! Now you want me personnel information too! You are just too much.
{The police officer, who is getting noticeably frustrated, responds in a louder, firmer voice than before.}
Police Officer: Mam, I need your name for this damn sheet! Give me your name or I’m going to arrest your ass.
Woman: Oh, sweet Jesus, is it your time of the month? My name is Veronica.
Police Officer: Thank you. Veronica what?
Veronica: Just Veronica.
Police Officer: Ok, fine, whatever, you’re just Veronica. Ok, I don’t care what your name is. Ok. Occupation?
Veronica: Um…student.
Police Officer: Oh, really? Where do you go?
Veronica: NYU. And to answer your next question, I’m getting my doctorate to become a doctor.
{Veronica and the police officer both laugh.}
Veronica: Oh, I almost forgot. I have a summer job. Do you need that for your sheet?
Police Officer: Yes’m.
Veronica: Wrestler. For the WFWF. Let’s not talk about it anymore than that, please.
{The police officer makes some scribbles on his clipboard.}
Police Officer: Oh…I’ve never seen you on WFWF before?
Veronica: Oh, you watch it? I don’t. I hate wrestling. It’s sooo boring and stupid. The Intergalastic Spaceman Title? Pfff. I’m pretty good though at wrestling. I was in IE..
{Veronica suddenly shut her mouth tightly.}
Police Officer: What? What were you in?
…
Police Officer: What were you in?
{But Veronica wasn’t listening. She was shaking from head to toe to thong. Tears of anger started streaming from her eyes.}
Veronica: I was in IEW. That
ing bitch!{Veronica let out an angry sob. Then another one. Then she started breathing hard.}
Police Officer: Do you need an ambulance?
Veronica: NO! It’s just…I hate her so much.
Police Officer: Who?
{Veronica let out a shriek.}
Veronica: Meg! Megan! Meg Warner! She ruined my life! I want to kill her. Please, please, let me borrow your gun.
{Veronica put her hands out towards the gun and the police officer slapped her hand away.}
Veronica: You’re right. I need something more painful than a gun. I heard some place is having a sale on chainsaws.
Police Officer: Mam, shut up. Shut up! I have the duty to report things like you just said. I don’t want to, but I could lose my job if I don’t! I’m not going to, but if I hear one more comment…
{Veronica put her hands to her mouth. She then continued with her hands out in a pleading manner.}
Veronica: Sorry, sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s just that…ho bag…ruined my life. I was a straight A student. I was taking some pro-wrestling class in college or whatever, right? It was a stupid little class that my mother and some friends and family wanted me to do because I’m so good at sports, you know? So I did the dumb thing. I had a project to make an impact on the wrestling industry.
{Veronica let out a sniff.}
Veronica: I joined IEW. Meg’s promotion. I won my first match and was even named wrestler of the week. I knew I was going to get an A. And then it happened. Meg decided to end IEW. Just quit it for “personnel reasons”. YOU WHORE MEGAN, it was probably just to go sleep with some guy who is a druggy and who would put her in jail and play with goldfish.
{Veronica took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Her shoulders lowered a little and she started breathing regularly again.}
Veronica: Ok, I’m good now. Now, I scored a contract with the WFWF. And my total goal is to get to Meg. She only faces men now, and she’s in and out of jail, but I’m going to get to her. I’m going to go through every single bitch and queer in that whore house until I get to the queen herself. And then…
{Veronica made a motion with her hand like she was firing a gun. She then blew the top of her index finger, the top of her gun.}
Veronica: I’m coming. Yeah, damn right, I’m coming. And Meg, she better watch out, because right when she turns into that dark corner, she’ll never knew what hit her. And all them others, they’re just pawns in the whole game, and I’m a Queen. And Queens always beat the pawns.
{Veronica suddenly collapsed, almost hitting the ground, but the police officer caught her. Veronica open her eyes and apologized, not knowing what came over. The office offered her a seat in his air-conditioned police car to fill out the rest of the white forms.}
