SB RP 2- In This River

Two things.



The one thing I'll tell you is don't do that. It just kills the overall flow of the roleplay. I mean the whole "as I was saying" thing. There's no need for it. Imagine you're watching Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal is talking to Clarice. It would absolutely kill it if he was all like

"I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti. [weird Hannibal noise] So, as a I was saying about Buffalo Bill..."

Secondly, just by using spell check while typing this reply I noticed just in the part I quoted you had a lot of typos (though, keep in mind it was just stuff like "walk's", "plop's", etc.). I'd really recommend getting rid of as many of those as possible for your next roleplay. I doubt I really need to explain reasons why.

Other then that, it was pretty good and enjoyable.

Now, I haven't read your other roleplay, so I really have no clue what it's about. If it's the same basic principle, then I'd tell you not to do two roleplays explaining the same thing and having the same point. You don't wanna pound it into the reader's heads with continuous roleplays, you know?

I like the quote at the beginning. Wish I could live by that.

I just realized that the Yukio, Meg, and Morgan characters are all part of the anti Drakz/Kyzer faction and yet the three of us are going up against eachother. Someone's trying to get their enemies to turn against eachother! :-O

The RP was decent overall, not as good as the first, but still decent. I'm looking forward to seeing how the Triple Threat turns out between you, Meg, and I. Good Luck!