FDS CD RP: For the first time in years. | Wrestlingfigs.com WWE Figure Forums

devinstar
Guest

FDS CD RP: For the first time in years. Nov 24, 2006 10:19:53 GMT -5

Post by devinstar on Nov 24, 2006 10:19:53 GMT -5

Devin Star sits in a hospital bed the morning after Felo-De-Se, when Christain Shields did a number on his knee. His cell phone is sitting on the table next to him, with a floral design curtain surrounding him. He looked pretty agitated, and then the phone rings. The Caller ID reads "Jamie Alamo". He answers it and holds it to his ear.

"Sup Jamie."

Devin nods as he's listening.

"Yeah, I got my knee torn up again. This Christain Shields guy did his homework."

Devin listens again, then sighs.

"I already told you, Jamie, I'm not going to retire..."

Devin listens again.

"You're right I've done everything. But that's never enough, Jamie. IWE fell through just when I was about to get a shot at the title. It drives me crazy."

Devin nods as he listens, and sighs.

"Jamie, you sound like my mom did when I told her that I was coming back! Listen, I'll be fine. Anyway, they couldn't clear me to wrestle this week, but I'll be back next week."

Devin starts to get a little angry as he continues listening.

"Of course I'm frustrated! First, I lose my shot at being a world champ again, then they refuse to put me in the IWE Hall of Fame, and now this crap with my knee! It's ridiculous!"

Devin shakes his head, listening again.

"I know I've done more by 23 than most wrestlers do in a lifetime, Jamie. Sorry for yelling at you. Really, with all the cash I've been making over the past 5 years, I probably could consider retirement...but I'm not going to. Jamie, I gotta retire from a title, not as some jobber rookie who lost the only match he was in!"

There is a long pause.

"Sorry, man...I'm just kinda...you know...upset right now. Anyway, as soon as they release me, I'm heading for the gym. I swear, I'm not gonna let next week be a repeat what happened against Shields! Talk to you later."

Devin waits a moment and hangs up the phone, setting it back on the table, left to his own thoughts as the screen fades to black.

DAN
Main Eventer

Joined on: Aug 20, 2004 8:29:39 GMT -5
Posts: 3,659

FDS CD RP: For the first time in years. Nov 24, 2006 16:03:39 GMT -5

Post by DAN on Nov 24, 2006 16:03:39 GMT -5

Nice RP. Straight to the point and allows everyone to understand Devin Star's current situation. My only comment, for an RP of this type is you could've stretched it out with a little more description. Apart from that, short and sweet RP!

Wrestlemania 24 - 30/03/2008

Calvin
Main Eventer

visit my myspace and listen to my music

Joined on: Dec 18, 2001 15:13:21 GMT -5
Posts: 3,791

FDS CD RP: For the first time in years. Nov 28, 2006 3:03:47 GMT -5

Post by Calvin on Nov 28, 2006 3:03:47 GMT -5

silly mention here, but are cell phones allow in hospitals. Where I'm from, you can't use them in hospitals...lol

Ummmmm, pretty decent, change the font colour, too bright to read. More description for sure is needed, create the scene using the 5 sences, that's usually what I do. You're new to rping...read other rps, find a style that works for you, and use it. good luck.

Kurt Burton: Script Doctor!
Main Eventer

Feeling froggy!

Joined on: Apr 29, 2006 13:39:19 GMT -5
Posts: 2,916

FDS CD RP: For the first time in years. Dec 5, 2006 14:17:56 GMT -5

Post by Kurt Burton: Script Doctor! on Dec 5, 2006 14:17:56 GMT -5

Well Morgan, or Devin, whatever you call yourself these days, this is the best RP I have seen from you. Just remember, that description is key. You must describe. It is not an optional activity.

Damn, why did I start sounding like my employer. Get the evil out.

This speech though, is definetely your best speech yet.

Check out our youtube channel- www.youtube.com/reelvisualproduction