Post by kaymack00 on Nov 30, 2006 21:39:05 GMT -5
I walked slowly into the office of my therapist Dr. Cole Jones. As I stepped into the door I smelled flowers, lilac I think. People looked at me as if I had walked in naked. I ran back out of the door, my heart racing. I began sweating profusely; again I couldn’t gather my thoughts. Cole opened the door and tapped on my shoulder. I turned around quickly, and starred into his face.
Cole: Come on; let’s go back inside so we can talk.
I took a deep breathe and came into the door. We walked up the steps and went into his room. I took a seat on the leather couch. It was cold; it was always cold in there. The room was just a pale blue color, with a couch, a chair, a table with Kleenex’s. Nothing special, I actually thought it was very ugly. He sat down on the chair across from me. His cologne smothered me; I never knew why he put so much on.
Cole: So, I saw you had another panic attack. You are taking your medicine and working on everything, like I said right?
Kira: Of course I’m taking my medicine, and yes I have been trying to work on my social anxiety. I told you last time I was trying to get into WFWF. I have finally made it. I’m working my way back up.
Cole: That is wonderful. And is that building up your confidence any? When is your first match?
Kira: My first match is next week. And no it’s not, I’m going to lose. I’m never been good at anything.
He tapped his pen on the paper in front of him, as he starred at me. I hated when he did that, but he always has. He wrote on the paper a little then looked back up. I knew he was judging me, thinking I was crazy.
Cole: I wish you would have a little bit more confidence in yourself; it would really help you overcome your fear.
Kira: Yes, I know that, but I can’t change who I am. I’m trying really hard ok?
Cole: I completely understand. I know how hard it must be for you. And I’m trying to help all I can. I think it’s time to talk about the past; you need to get over that before you can move on.
My eyes then began to tear up. Everyday, that’s all he tries to get me to talk about. I don’t understand why we can’t talk about the present. I’ve gotten so much better since then. I closed my eyes and leaned forward. He handed me a Kleenex from the table and patted my back lightly.
Cole: Please Kira; you have been coming to see me for over a year, you can trust me with anything. But I need you to talk, or there is no way to help you.
Kira: I know……but I’m just not ready.
I rose off the couch and began to walk towards the door. My shoes tapped the hard wood floor loudly.
Cole: Kira please don’t leave. We have over thirty minutes left in your session.
Kira: I’m just not ready to talk about it. I’m really sorry; I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.
Cole: Ok……. I’ll see you then. Bye Kira.
I walked quickly down the steps and opened the door. I felt the cool fall breeze blow through my hair as I walked to my car. I got in the car and put in my old bands C.D. This was the first time I had listened to it in over a year. I knew what Cole said was right, although doing this was even harder than I had imagined. The next time we talked I was going to be ready to tell him exactly what happened to make me quit. I felt stupid for doing it and wanted no one to know. But I couldn’t let anything hold me back from what I needed to do. Get back in this world without being scared.
I drove to a little park down the street. I turned off the car and watched the children play for awhile. I finally got out and walked through the leaves towards the pond. I could smell fall in the air, it was so beautiful. I began thinking about the match next week, I am absolutely terrified. But I have to go through with it.
Ooc: This is my first RP. I don’t think it was great, but I thought it was alright for my first one. Any comments or constructive criticism is more than welcome. My older brother is Reverend Shadow. I saw my brother had been doing it for awhile, and I thought it was interesting. I decided I would try it out. I hope you enjoy it.
Cole: Come on; let’s go back inside so we can talk.
I took a deep breathe and came into the door. We walked up the steps and went into his room. I took a seat on the leather couch. It was cold; it was always cold in there. The room was just a pale blue color, with a couch, a chair, a table with Kleenex’s. Nothing special, I actually thought it was very ugly. He sat down on the chair across from me. His cologne smothered me; I never knew why he put so much on.
Cole: So, I saw you had another panic attack. You are taking your medicine and working on everything, like I said right?
Kira: Of course I’m taking my medicine, and yes I have been trying to work on my social anxiety. I told you last time I was trying to get into WFWF. I have finally made it. I’m working my way back up.
Cole: That is wonderful. And is that building up your confidence any? When is your first match?
Kira: My first match is next week. And no it’s not, I’m going to lose. I’m never been good at anything.
He tapped his pen on the paper in front of him, as he starred at me. I hated when he did that, but he always has. He wrote on the paper a little then looked back up. I knew he was judging me, thinking I was crazy.
Cole: I wish you would have a little bit more confidence in yourself; it would really help you overcome your fear.
Kira: Yes, I know that, but I can’t change who I am. I’m trying really hard ok?
Cole: I completely understand. I know how hard it must be for you. And I’m trying to help all I can. I think it’s time to talk about the past; you need to get over that before you can move on.
My eyes then began to tear up. Everyday, that’s all he tries to get me to talk about. I don’t understand why we can’t talk about the present. I’ve gotten so much better since then. I closed my eyes and leaned forward. He handed me a Kleenex from the table and patted my back lightly.
Cole: Please Kira; you have been coming to see me for over a year, you can trust me with anything. But I need you to talk, or there is no way to help you.
Kira: I know……but I’m just not ready.
I rose off the couch and began to walk towards the door. My shoes tapped the hard wood floor loudly.
Cole: Kira please don’t leave. We have over thirty minutes left in your session.
Kira: I’m just not ready to talk about it. I’m really sorry; I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.
Cole: Ok……. I’ll see you then. Bye Kira.
I walked quickly down the steps and opened the door. I felt the cool fall breeze blow through my hair as I walked to my car. I got in the car and put in my old bands C.D. This was the first time I had listened to it in over a year. I knew what Cole said was right, although doing this was even harder than I had imagined. The next time we talked I was going to be ready to tell him exactly what happened to make me quit. I felt stupid for doing it and wanted no one to know. But I couldn’t let anything hold me back from what I needed to do. Get back in this world without being scared.
I drove to a little park down the street. I turned off the car and watched the children play for awhile. I finally got out and walked through the leaves towards the pond. I could smell fall in the air, it was so beautiful. I began thinking about the match next week, I am absolutely terrified. But I have to go through with it.
Ooc: This is my first RP. I don’t think it was great, but I thought it was alright for my first one. Any comments or constructive criticism is more than welcome. My older brother is Reverend Shadow. I saw my brother had been doing it for awhile, and I thought it was interesting. I decided I would try it out. I hope you enjoy it.
