FDS RP Trust

Yukio Blaze
Main Eventer

WFWF Record: 58-54-03-02

Joined on: Dec 15, 2004 21:50:34 GMT -5
Posts: 4,515

FDS RP Trust Mar 8, 2007 10:36:27 GMT -5

Post by Yukio Blaze on Mar 8, 2007 10:36:27 GMT -5

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. - Goethe

Time and Time again, Yukio Blaze has fallen into the hole that is defeat. Even though he really didnt lose his pay per view match, his defeat was that of not able to capture what he was longed for, a WFWF Championship. Yukio was knocked out of the ring and landed hard on the concrete floor. McGurk threw Sanchez down on the ground and landed a top rope move for the one, two, three. Once again, Yukio stared defeat in the eye and failed miserably. Even if Yukio Blaze is the Random Hero or the Triple Threat Messiah, he needs something new in his life to become champion. Something to give him a new wrestling high, perhaps he needs to trust someone to get a championship title. Yeah, thats exactly what he needs.......

[/i][/color]

The smell of desperation, fear, anger, and hate are all flowing around in the air. The rain is falling down, making the smell move from place to place. The smell is unbearable to many, but some are immune from it. The smell, nor the rain is giving up and just then, lightning starts to dance across the night sky. People walking on the street, dressed very nice are hunkering under awnings, some have umbrellas, while others are just rushing to their destinations. Cars on the street are basically stopped at a standstill because of the poor visibility and also because of a car accident in front of most of them. Thunder is now heard cracking from a distant, but then it seems to come closer. Walking along the sidewalk seeing the traffic jam, the rain falling around him, the lightning dancing in the sky, and gearing the thunder, is none other than Yukio Blaze looking completely soaked in his hoodie. He looks to have a couple of cuts above his right eye from his PPV match and he has beaded a couple of strands of his beard, almost like an Indian. Yukio sees an awning with no one under it, so he decides to sit on the stairs under it and drapes his hood off.

Conscience

I dont know why I even came out here tonight. While everyone was at the motel having a party having a good time, I had to drag my ass out here. How stupid of me. It's been raining all day and I should have known just to stay, but for some reason I knew that I wouldnt fit in the party. I've let myself down time after time trying to win a championship, but every single time I fall into the gutters like an hobo. Another thing that haunts me the most knowing that I will officially be ranked the third longest guy in the WFWF after ZMaster retires. That means that I'm the longest person here to never win a championship. I've seen the likes of Obo win the tag team titles on numerous occasions and hell, hes now a serious contender for the World Championship. Reverend Shadow is the World Champion and he started here in the WFWF way after me and hes got the championship. I need to start trusting myself. Thats what is different from me to them because they can trust themselves.

No matter how much I try to overcome the odds to become champion, they always manage to get me. Since day one, I've always gone by the WFWF books. I greet the fans, put on a good wrestling match, and the the fans trust and respect me, but that isnt enough to be a champion. My heart and head have always been in the game, even if I've done some stupid things before like lighting tables on fire and then I get put through it or trying to overcome the Regime last year. I have it all to become a great champion, but Its almost like a fear that I have. I cant trust myself or anyone, thus I cant win gold. It's like OCD for wrestling. Jesus, I need to change this.

Conscience

A change, that is exactly what I need, but how will I change. I'm not going to turn to the darkside or I'm not going back to my hardcore/pyromaniac type of tactics. Now that was just plan stupid, but I think the change I'm looking for is in a helping hand in someway.

Yukio reaches into his hoodie pocket and pulls out his wallet. He opens up his wallet and in there are a couple of credit cards, a debit card, about thirty dollars in cash. Yukio flips the plastic hard cover things, and he pulls out a white business card with a number written on it. He keeps the card out and puts his wallet back in his pocket. He looks at the card for a minute or so debating on what to do with it.

Conscience

This could be it, I've had this number in my wallet for a while now. Someone approach me a long time ago and told me whenever I needed help, I can call them, but this person I just dont know. I know I can trust him and everything, but I dont know if he would trust me.

As I sit here under this awning, holding what could be my chance at destiny, I cant help wondering what my opponents Thunder and Kurt Burton are doing. Yeah they won the WFWF Titles and they did manage to defeat my two buddies of Striker and Vice, but they are alot different from me. You see they are more of singles wrestlers, but they do have the style to become a great tag team. Now me, I hate to admit this but I've been in numerous failed tag teams, but I can do the distance in these kind of matches. While they may call me the Triple Threat Messiah, they can also call me the Tag Team Threat. Burton, you know about that all so well, because of what I manage to do.

Remember Burton, I was the first ever person to land you, your first ever tag team loss. When the original Revolution was running around with the orgy titles, I defeated both you and Manny C by myself and no man has been able to do that since. I had the balls before to step to you before and this time is no different. You still smoke pot with my greatest enemy to date, Wayne McGurk, you still whore out your beautiful girlfriend to numerous crusty old men, and you know what, I still cant muster your cocky punk ass. forget about asking yourself if Thunder will be able to help your ass, just ask yourself if there is a chance that I can go psycho on your ass and break you like a little dog.

Thunder, your no different, but you do have something that Burton doesnt have and that is money. You almost have infinite funds to supply you with the fastest cars, the fanciest clothes, and the grade a piece of horse ass. You cant tell the difference from a Puerto Rican Beauty to a Cuban He-She. You are one sick freak my man. I just dont care if you money or if you do have a succesful tag team with Burton, what I do care about are two things, one is about whipping your ass one more time like I've done before and number two is that ten pound piece of gold you have around your shoulder. Yeah, think about that and call your manager or banker in the morning.

Together, you Burton and you Thunder have a whole lot in common. Like women, cars, money, dope, and the both of you share the tag team titles. Now, come this weeks show, you will have a serious bombshell brought to you, the bomb part is me whipping both your asses from corner to corner, but the shell part will happen after the match. Just consider yourselves lucky for the time being. There is thirty seconds left on the timer and I've got the ball.

Conscience

Burton and Thunder will have no idea what will hit them. I think everyone in the back will be surprised aswell. It's time to get the job done now and its time for me to trust myself and this guy right here.

Yukio puts his hood back up and looks across the traffic jammed street and sees a pay phone. Yukio starts to run in between the cars, certain drivers are honking and hit and yelling at him, but it isnt phasing him. Yukio makes it across the street and picks the phone up. Yukio reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out two quarters and he deposits them into the phone. The phone is ringing on the other end and someone picks it up...

Hello, Sanchez, I think its time for that talk. I got your back and your trust if you got mine..........

What is going on here, Yukio calling a Sanchez, but what Sanchez is this ? Yukio says he has his trust, but does this person have Yukios ? Yukio only trust few and it seems like he really can trust him. Stayed tuned for the next WFWF TV Program and the answers should be solved.....[/i][/color]

I think that we may safely trust a good deal more than we do. We may waive just so much care of ourselves as we honestly bestow elsewhere. - Henry David Thoreau

Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great. - Ralph Waldo Emerson[/center]

Yukio Blaze Main Eventer WFWF Record: 58-54-03-02 Joined on: Dec 15, 2004 21:50:34 GMT -5 Posts: 4,515	FDS RP Trust Mar 8, 2007 10:37:56 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Yukio Blaze on Mar 8, 2007 10:37:56 GMT -5 This rp I thought was really good. It was fun to write and I hope most likes it.

sonstuds
WF Mod

Video Games: General Mod
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Joined on: Jan 28, 2002 18:36:54 GMT -5
Posts: 13,177

FDS RP Trust Mar 8, 2007 13:41:39 GMT -5

Post by sonstuds on Mar 8, 2007 13:41:39 GMT -5

I hate how you start it off like a monologue, then do stuff that don't really fit the typical "monologue roleplay". In this case, it was running to a phone and calling someone. Personally, I thought a roleplay where it was Yukio Blaze on the phone with someone would have been more interesting.

The one thing I noticed is the conscience. When you do a monologue I'm not a fan of how you do it. You make the conscience and the actual speech almost the exact same thing. What I mean is the first conscience block is essientally about not winning a title, then your first speech block is about failure. Then you talk about needing a change, and that's what your next conscience block is about. I don't really understand why you don't just merge all your conscience thoughts into the speech or vice versa when they're that similar. Also, the conscience thoughts aren't really written like how someone would actually think.

. Another thing that haunts me the most knowing that I will officially be ranked the third longest guy in the WFWF after ZMaster retires. That means that I'm the longest person here to never win a championship

It starts off there with a bad segway into another point ("another thing that haunts me..."), but you're also explaining it. If Blaze is thinking, he wouldn't need to mention how he's the longest person to never win a champioship; he'd know that already. You're writing the conscience too much like speech, which is why you should just merge them.

Other than that it was fine. And you got rid of the colors that's a step-up.

CBT
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Joined on: Sept 8, 2004 14:09:51 GMT -5
Posts: 23,040

FDS RP Trust Mar 16, 2007 22:20:49 GMT -5

Post by CBT on Mar 16, 2007 22:20:49 GMT -5

The monologue at the beginning seemed really weak, I say that out of pure honesty, your speech just didn't come off well there and it seemed like you struggled to find the words to describe your post-match loss, eventhough true anger should have made it that much easier to express the discontempt Blaze should have. Just reading the monologue, I think you're really hitting a wall with emotion. It's cool and all to be the nice guy, who is a fan favorite. But it doesn't change who you are to feel cheated or feel disbelieve in yourself. But yea, as for the rest of the roleplay.

Strange question, why do people talk about smells, and stuff that an observer who may be watching through the eyes, would have no ability to take part in? I mean sometimes it works, but I dunno. It just kind of seems like an odd way to have an inquisitive opening description, but little makes sense. The opening just seemed minced, it kind of seemed to calm to make sense, why would people care if it's raining? I know that questions been asked before, but why would it matter in this scenario?

While monologue is becoming common, more and more. I think sometimes it takes away from your speech. I agree with EBR, in that you were restating the same damn thing you said in speech, or vice versa. I will however say, the monologue could have been an extension of speech, and times where you could have triggered the emotion, you kept it seperate from speech.
Now the monologue should be a different side of speech, imo. But in this case, you made it secondary speech, and I think it went unnoticed by you.

Overall, the speech made the roleplay, but not the speech alone. Taking the monologue and reading it as extended speech, you could have been really content, but this wasn't a shiner. :-/

Good luck man, CBT

I’m that guy that was somebody once, yeah...

veronicaaaahhhh
Main Eventer

Joined on: Mar 8, 2005 2:17:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,605

FDS RP Trust Mar 19, 2007 10:00:07 GMT -5

Post by veronicaaaahhhh on Mar 19, 2007 10:00:07 GMT -5

The RP flowed and you had a good story here, but I do kinda have to agree with them on the speech... I'll be honest man, it just makes Yukio come off a little desperate more than determined.

The best thing I can suggest is to make Yukio do and say what he has to win a match and/or a title instead of having to scatch his way to a victory.

Last Edit: Mar 19, 2007 10:01:14 GMT -5 by veronicaaaahhhh

Post by Yukio Blaze on Mar 8, 2007 10:36:27 GMT -5

Post by Yukio Blaze on Mar 8, 2007 10:37:56 GMT -5

Post by sonstuds on Mar 8, 2007 13:41:39 GMT -5

Post by CBT on Mar 16, 2007 22:20:49 GMT -5

Post by veronicaaaahhhh on Mar 19, 2007 10:00:07 GMT -5