Post by thesouthsidekid on Mar 15, 2007 0:18:00 GMT -5
Part One: Celebrity Jeopardy.
Los Angeles, California. I had just come from Detroit not too long ago and to say my time was interesting there, well that would be an understatement. Just yesterday, I had been reached on my cell phone about playing on an episode of Celebrity Jeopardy. Needless to say, I was excited to get national TV exposure, and fulfill a small dream of mine ever since I was younger.
You see when my aunt took me in, every night, she would watch Jeopardy on the TV. Since we were so dirt poor and the TV we had only had basic channels, I got stuck watching it as well. I hated it at first, but then after a while, I kind of started getting used to it.
Then my aunt died, and I moved in with Robbie a couple of months later, after getting into some trouble. He apparently found out from either eves dropping on me or from my parol officers that I enjoyed watching Jeopardy, so while we were in the gym training, he had his wife tape them every night. He used it as a learning tool for me. He would challenge me and we made it a tradition to answer as many questions as we could. He’d always win, but there was that one time, I finally beat him.
Three nights after that night was the accident, and Robbie died………and I stopped watching Jeopardy. I couldn’t bear to watch it because at that time, anything that reminded me of Robbie I wanted to press out of my mind. But that was foolish. After I broke down at the gym a couple of months back, I’ve slowly been able to get back to doing things that we used to do, like watching Jeopardy and opening back up the school.
It’s been hard, I’m not going to sit here and tell you it isn’t. But that is neither here or there, I was there on the big stage. I met up with the producers and they gave me my cues. It was 7:20. The show was on in 10 minutes and I really had to go pee. I had just drank a bottle of water a couple minutes before, and I was starting to feel it. Maybe it was nerves setting in, but I rushed to the bathroom and relieved myself.
I don’t know why I was so nervous. I guess it was because of the bright lights. Man forget the bright lights, I’m a professional wrestler, I perform in front of millions each week. Why am I nervous though? Could it be that this was my youth dream?
It had come upon my a revelation in that moment, of maybe just why. Since as far back as there has been television, athletes have been looked upon as those who don’t quite have the brain compacity to make it as anything else. In the case of a professional wrestler, we are stigmatized as that but only multiple times worse. Because of the violence in our sport, the potential head trauma that goes with some of the risky moves and things of that nature. Most people see us as muscle bound block heads. While that may be the case in some, that isn’t the case with me. Just then, I came to the revelation that this is for all professional wrestlers is why I am here. I looked at the clock back stage. The producer was gathering us together and giving us our final marching orders. I peered at the clock. 7:28, it’s go time. He escorted us out to our podiums. I drew the middle podium. I glanced to my right, and beside me was Sean Connery. To my left, Britney Spears.
I tried to keep away from looking at Britney Spears, but her bald head drew me in. Just then the Jeopardy theme song came on and the announcer came on the PA.
Announcer: Now it is time for everyone’s favorite quiz show, with a twist! It is celebrity Jeopardy! And introducing our contestants, first, a singer, actress and dancer, Britney Spears!
The crowd starts to cheer and clap for Britney Spears. It came to me, the sweat was beginning to pour down my head as I looked in front of me and saw the cameras.
Announcer: Next, a professional wrestler, actor, and hip hop musican, Josh Dean!!
The crowd started to cheer loudly for me. I was surprised of how much of following I have. Whew, so far so good.
Announcer: And finally, an actor, Sean Connery! And now here is the host of Jeopardy, Alex Trebek!
The crowd cheers as Alex Trebek comes out onto the stage. He thanks the crowd and heads to the podium.
Alex Trebek: Thank you and welcome to a special Celebrity Jeopardy. I’m Alex Trebek and we have some very excited celebrities to compete, and each celebrity has chosen to give their winnings to a charity of their choice. Always nice, anyway for time constraints this evening we are going to do one round and a final Jeopardy round. So let’s take a look at the categories. US Presidents, Jersey Chronicles, My name Is, Music, and finally Breakups. Britney Spears, you have control of the board choose a chose a category.
BS: I’ll go with Music for 100.
AT: Answer, this group was the biggest selling group in the 1960’s Motown.
Sean Connery pushes his button.
AT: Mr. Connery.
SC: Now I don’t understand this Trebek, why does Britney Spears get to go first? Is it because she has boobs. Is that it Trebek? Do you think that if you let her go first, she’ll show them to you after the show?
Hey, Connery, answer the question.
SC: What is IN STINK!
AT: I’m sorry Mr. Connery that is wrong. Britney, Josh.
Wait, I know this answer, my aunt used to play their records. I quickly pressed my button.
Who are the Temptations?
AT: Correct! You now have control of the board, choose.
I’ll take US Presidents for 1000.
AT: Ok, going all out early, let see if this pays off. This president was the 16th president of the United States. He is also the president found on the penny.
Quickly, I clicked my button. Sean Connery was right after me.
AT: Josh………
SC: Your mother Trebek.
AT: Mr. Connery, you didn’t respond first, Josh Dean did. So your answer is invalid.
SC: I’ll in your mother’s valid!
Man, will you SHUT UP so I can answer the question!
SC: And who are you, lilly boy.
Look Connery, you don’t want to go there with me, ok.. I’ll hurt you. But Alex, the answer is Abraham Lincoln.
AT: Correct, choose again.
Let’s go for……..um…………My name is for 1000
AT: One for one on the big money, let’s see if he can make it two for two. Answer, the Daily Double!!!
The Daily Double sound goes off and the crowd starts to clap and cheer.
AT: How much do you want to want to wager on the subject.
All of it.
AT: Ok then answer. This was the first single off this rappers album, The Slim Shady EP.
SC: Trebek, you mother knows what my name is!
BS: Man, I can’t take this anymore. I need a pair of clippers!!
BOTH OF YOU SHUT IT!
Britney and Sean Connery look at me with a dumbfounded look. At this point, I was steamed and I wanted to tear the set apart. But I tried to calm myself down. But I felt my hand buldge up in a fist so tightly. It had it so tight that my hand was starting to throb as I dug my left hand in the podium.
Who is Eminem.
AT: Correct.
SC: Trebek, are you sure this guy is a celebrity? He is getting everything right. And I haven’t heard of him.
AT: He is a professional wrestler Mr. Connery. My daughter is a fan of his.
Thanks Alex, but can we just go to final Jeopardy, I mean I’m getting a little pissed off being around BREAK DOWN SPEARS AND MR I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT YOUR MOTHER CONNERY!
SC: Damn, someone pissed in lilly boy’s Cherrios this morning, Trebek. Maybe he couldn’t get laid last night, while I got laid seven times last night, your mother was six of them.
All of a sudden with all of my might, I swung and punched Sean Connery in the face as hard as I could, and down like a pile of rocks he went. The crowd cheered as I stood over top of him. Sweat pouring off my brow. I had to do it. It was my dream to be on Jeopardy and Sean Connery had to go and ruin it. I peered over and turned on his screen for the Final Jeopardy answer.
Hey Alex, you want to see Sean Connery’s answer for Final Jeopardy?
He came over to the podium as I cast it up. Alex read over it and shrugged his shoulders.
AT: Well, let’s see it. “Suck it Trebek”. Not surprising. Anyway folks, this has been a well interesting episode of Jeopardy. Goodnight!
The Jeopardy song started to play again as Alex shook hands with myself and Britney Spears. Sean Connery was still down on the ground. I felt better as I did what I had to do. A dream of mine, ruined, and revenge on it was sweet.
Message to Johnny Malice
Johnny Malice. We meet again. It don’t seem like that long ago that we met up at Ascension in Gateway to Opportunity: 2. Now I bring this recollection to you for a reason. While it may seem silly, it was a dream as a youth to play on Jeopardy, no matter in what form or fashion. It was a dream that I accomplished, while it might have been a Celebrity Edition, I was still on there. I did it for the professional wrestlers of the world!
But it was ruined. By Sean Connery. So I did to him what I do to people who ruin things for me, I hurt them.
Now you are probably listening and asking yourself, what does this have to do with me? Well the answer is very simple. It was my goal, at Ascension to win the Gateway of Opportunity match. And yes, while I did it, it was tainted. See you sir, got a pin at the exact same time I did. You too won the match. You ruined it for me!! You ruined my chance to be on Felo de Se.
Now while both of us are in the New Breed Reign tournament for a permanent contract on Felo de Se, I find it funny that both of us have a match against each other for Felo de Se. Johnny, this is my opportunity, to show that it should have been me that was the solo winner of the match! This is my opportunity for revenge for what you have robbed me of. This is my chance.
As I do for most of my opponents, I do for you this time Johnny. I’m going to give you something to think about for the match. I want you to go back and look at my match against Pink Geroff. I want you to take a look at what intensity was in my eyes. The drive to succeed towards a goal. I want you to ponder it. Because this was just for a tournament. What about for something that I set my mind to when I walked into WFWF and found out about. Only for it to get ruined. I want you to wonder, what have I gotten myself into. Because what I did to Pink Geroff is about half of what I plan on doing to you on Felo de Se. I want you to think about that, because the Franchise has SPOKEN!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OOC: I know it is late, i had to study and some other school work to do, and I didn't get a chance to post this earlier. But CBT gave me enough extension to post it, and I thank him for it. But for those of you that might be interested in knowing, I watched the SNL episode with Celebrity Jeopardy, and it got me inspired to do another spoof, just like my house show was an indirect spoof of 8 Mile. I figured I'd do something comedic for the sake. Anyway, i hope you enjoy.
Los Angeles, California. I had just come from Detroit not too long ago and to say my time was interesting there, well that would be an understatement. Just yesterday, I had been reached on my cell phone about playing on an episode of Celebrity Jeopardy. Needless to say, I was excited to get national TV exposure, and fulfill a small dream of mine ever since I was younger.
You see when my aunt took me in, every night, she would watch Jeopardy on the TV. Since we were so dirt poor and the TV we had only had basic channels, I got stuck watching it as well. I hated it at first, but then after a while, I kind of started getting used to it.
Then my aunt died, and I moved in with Robbie a couple of months later, after getting into some trouble. He apparently found out from either eves dropping on me or from my parol officers that I enjoyed watching Jeopardy, so while we were in the gym training, he had his wife tape them every night. He used it as a learning tool for me. He would challenge me and we made it a tradition to answer as many questions as we could. He’d always win, but there was that one time, I finally beat him.
Three nights after that night was the accident, and Robbie died………and I stopped watching Jeopardy. I couldn’t bear to watch it because at that time, anything that reminded me of Robbie I wanted to press out of my mind. But that was foolish. After I broke down at the gym a couple of months back, I’ve slowly been able to get back to doing things that we used to do, like watching Jeopardy and opening back up the school.
It’s been hard, I’m not going to sit here and tell you it isn’t. But that is neither here or there, I was there on the big stage. I met up with the producers and they gave me my cues. It was 7:20. The show was on in 10 minutes and I really had to go pee. I had just drank a bottle of water a couple minutes before, and I was starting to feel it. Maybe it was nerves setting in, but I rushed to the bathroom and relieved myself.
I don’t know why I was so nervous. I guess it was because of the bright lights. Man forget the bright lights, I’m a professional wrestler, I perform in front of millions each week. Why am I nervous though? Could it be that this was my youth dream?
It had come upon my a revelation in that moment, of maybe just why. Since as far back as there has been television, athletes have been looked upon as those who don’t quite have the brain compacity to make it as anything else. In the case of a professional wrestler, we are stigmatized as that but only multiple times worse. Because of the violence in our sport, the potential head trauma that goes with some of the risky moves and things of that nature. Most people see us as muscle bound block heads. While that may be the case in some, that isn’t the case with me. Just then, I came to the revelation that this is for all professional wrestlers is why I am here. I looked at the clock back stage. The producer was gathering us together and giving us our final marching orders. I peered at the clock. 7:28, it’s go time. He escorted us out to our podiums. I drew the middle podium. I glanced to my right, and beside me was Sean Connery. To my left, Britney Spears.
I tried to keep away from looking at Britney Spears, but her bald head drew me in. Just then the Jeopardy theme song came on and the announcer came on the PA.
Announcer: Now it is time for everyone’s favorite quiz show, with a twist! It is celebrity Jeopardy! And introducing our contestants, first, a singer, actress and dancer, Britney Spears!
The crowd starts to cheer and clap for Britney Spears. It came to me, the sweat was beginning to pour down my head as I looked in front of me and saw the cameras.
Announcer: Next, a professional wrestler, actor, and hip hop musican, Josh Dean!!
The crowd started to cheer loudly for me. I was surprised of how much of following I have. Whew, so far so good.
Announcer: And finally, an actor, Sean Connery! And now here is the host of Jeopardy, Alex Trebek!
The crowd cheers as Alex Trebek comes out onto the stage. He thanks the crowd and heads to the podium.
Alex Trebek: Thank you and welcome to a special Celebrity Jeopardy. I’m Alex Trebek and we have some very excited celebrities to compete, and each celebrity has chosen to give their winnings to a charity of their choice. Always nice, anyway for time constraints this evening we are going to do one round and a final Jeopardy round. So let’s take a look at the categories. US Presidents, Jersey Chronicles, My name Is, Music, and finally Breakups. Britney Spears, you have control of the board choose a chose a category.
BS: I’ll go with Music for 100.
AT: Answer, this group was the biggest selling group in the 1960’s Motown.
Sean Connery pushes his button.
AT: Mr. Connery.
SC: Now I don’t understand this Trebek, why does Britney Spears get to go first? Is it because she has boobs. Is that it Trebek? Do you think that if you let her go first, she’ll show them to you after the show?
Hey, Connery, answer the question.
SC: What is IN STINK!
AT: I’m sorry Mr. Connery that is wrong. Britney, Josh.
Wait, I know this answer, my aunt used to play their records. I quickly pressed my button.
Who are the Temptations?
AT: Correct! You now have control of the board, choose.
I’ll take US Presidents for 1000.
AT: Ok, going all out early, let see if this pays off. This president was the 16th president of the United States. He is also the president found on the penny.
Quickly, I clicked my button. Sean Connery was right after me.
AT: Josh………
SC: Your mother Trebek.
AT: Mr. Connery, you didn’t respond first, Josh Dean did. So your answer is invalid.
SC: I’ll in your mother’s valid!
Man, will you SHUT UP so I can answer the question!
SC: And who are you, lilly boy.
Look Connery, you don’t want to go there with me, ok.. I’ll hurt you. But Alex, the answer is Abraham Lincoln.
AT: Correct, choose again.
Let’s go for……..um…………My name is for 1000
AT: One for one on the big money, let’s see if he can make it two for two. Answer, the Daily Double!!!
The Daily Double sound goes off and the crowd starts to clap and cheer.
AT: How much do you want to want to wager on the subject.
All of it.
AT: Ok then answer. This was the first single off this rappers album, The Slim Shady EP.
SC: Trebek, you mother knows what my name is!
BS: Man, I can’t take this anymore. I need a pair of clippers!!
BOTH OF YOU SHUT IT!
Britney and Sean Connery look at me with a dumbfounded look. At this point, I was steamed and I wanted to tear the set apart. But I tried to calm myself down. But I felt my hand buldge up in a fist so tightly. It had it so tight that my hand was starting to throb as I dug my left hand in the podium.
Who is Eminem.
AT: Correct.
SC: Trebek, are you sure this guy is a celebrity? He is getting everything right. And I haven’t heard of him.
AT: He is a professional wrestler Mr. Connery. My daughter is a fan of his.
Thanks Alex, but can we just go to final Jeopardy, I mean I’m getting a little pissed off being around BREAK DOWN SPEARS AND MR I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT YOUR MOTHER CONNERY!
SC: Damn, someone pissed in lilly boy’s Cherrios this morning, Trebek. Maybe he couldn’t get laid last night, while I got laid seven times last night, your mother was six of them.
All of a sudden with all of my might, I swung and punched Sean Connery in the face as hard as I could, and down like a pile of rocks he went. The crowd cheered as I stood over top of him. Sweat pouring off my brow. I had to do it. It was my dream to be on Jeopardy and Sean Connery had to go and ruin it. I peered over and turned on his screen for the Final Jeopardy answer.
Hey Alex, you want to see Sean Connery’s answer for Final Jeopardy?
He came over to the podium as I cast it up. Alex read over it and shrugged his shoulders.
AT: Well, let’s see it. “Suck it Trebek”. Not surprising. Anyway folks, this has been a well interesting episode of Jeopardy. Goodnight!
The Jeopardy song started to play again as Alex shook hands with myself and Britney Spears. Sean Connery was still down on the ground. I felt better as I did what I had to do. A dream of mine, ruined, and revenge on it was sweet.
Message to Johnny Malice
Johnny Malice. We meet again. It don’t seem like that long ago that we met up at Ascension in Gateway to Opportunity: 2. Now I bring this recollection to you for a reason. While it may seem silly, it was a dream as a youth to play on Jeopardy, no matter in what form or fashion. It was a dream that I accomplished, while it might have been a Celebrity Edition, I was still on there. I did it for the professional wrestlers of the world!
But it was ruined. By Sean Connery. So I did to him what I do to people who ruin things for me, I hurt them.
Now you are probably listening and asking yourself, what does this have to do with me? Well the answer is very simple. It was my goal, at Ascension to win the Gateway of Opportunity match. And yes, while I did it, it was tainted. See you sir, got a pin at the exact same time I did. You too won the match. You ruined it for me!! You ruined my chance to be on Felo de Se.
Now while both of us are in the New Breed Reign tournament for a permanent contract on Felo de Se, I find it funny that both of us have a match against each other for Felo de Se. Johnny, this is my opportunity, to show that it should have been me that was the solo winner of the match! This is my opportunity for revenge for what you have robbed me of. This is my chance.
As I do for most of my opponents, I do for you this time Johnny. I’m going to give you something to think about for the match. I want you to go back and look at my match against Pink Geroff. I want you to take a look at what intensity was in my eyes. The drive to succeed towards a goal. I want you to ponder it. Because this was just for a tournament. What about for something that I set my mind to when I walked into WFWF and found out about. Only for it to get ruined. I want you to wonder, what have I gotten myself into. Because what I did to Pink Geroff is about half of what I plan on doing to you on Felo de Se. I want you to think about that, because the Franchise has SPOKEN!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OOC: I know it is late, i had to study and some other school work to do, and I didn't get a chance to post this earlier. But CBT gave me enough extension to post it, and I thank him for it. But for those of you that might be interested in knowing, I watched the SNL episode with Celebrity Jeopardy, and it got me inspired to do another spoof, just like my house show was an indirect spoof of 8 Mile. I figured I'd do something comedic for the sake. Anyway, i hope you enjoy.
