Paul and Eric's SWB :Carnage preview up

The Rumor Mill

This weekend definetly turned out to be a crazy one in the world of wrestling as Vince McMahon has deicded to retire and go fight bulls in Spain. His son, Shane McMahon and son-in-law Triple H will co run the WWE.

In Other News Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff will be holding a Press Conference live from Jessies Truck Stop off of I-77 in lovely Mount Airy, North Carolina. about their new wrestiling endeavor Superfatastic Wrestling Bonanza. Little is know about the fed but they have signed Nick Dinsmore a.ka. Eugene and he will be now known as Jerry the Space Bunny. But Bischoff has went on the record saying there will be horses and ****.

After the collapse at Titan Towers this past weekend it has been confirmed that these are the wrestlers left on the WWE Roster
HHH, HBK, Undertaker, Kane, Ric Flair, Vito,Great Kahli, Daivari, Viscera, Test, Tatanka, Little Bastard and Scotty Too Hotty

TNA has announced that Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe will fight in a best out of 33 series. With the winner getting a title shot at Turning Point 2009 against the World Champion (spoiler alert highlight text) Jeff Jarrett./

And finally HHH has taken control of the WWE Titles situation he has made himself the WWE, World, ECW, IC, US, WWE and World Tag Team Champions. Also he has given the Great Khali the Cruiserweight Title and scheduled a 3 way Women's title match between Little Bastard, Scotty Too Hotty, and Vito for this Monday on raw. We here at Lordsofpain are expecting Vito to reign supreme

oh yeah man...its for real...press conference and first show will b up monday morning

This will be locked eventually, unless you get a Roster, a Show up and actually try and take things seriously.

[glow=red,2,300]SuperfantasticWrestlingBonanza.com[/glow]

We here at SuperfantasticWrestlingBonanza.com has left you guys in the dark for way too long about the roster. Hey and we meant to. But now its time for the grand unvieling of the roster.
Allright here we go. Boy did we take advantage of Vince Mcmahon being stupid.

The Heels
Jerry the Space Bunny
Edge
Stunning Steve Austin
Goldust
King Booker
Berlyn
Lance Storm
Bret Hart
Doink the Clown
The Iron Shiek
Finlay
Lord Steven Regal
Squire David Taylor
Sir Robert Eaton

The Faces
Rocky Miavia
Chris Beniot
Chris Jericho
Tajiri
Masato Tanaka
Mick Foley
Paul London
Brian Kendrick
Carlito
Ken Kennedy
The Big Show
Lashley
Super Crazy
Super Nova

Tag Teams
The Superheros (Super Crazy and Super Nova)
Kendrick and London
The Blue Bloods(Lord Steven Regal, Squire David Taylor, and/or Sir Robert Eaton
The Canadians(Chris Beniot and Chris Jericho)
The Evil Canadians( Bret Hart and Lance Storm)
AAA(Against All America-Berlyn and The Iron Sheik)

Master of Ceremonies/Ring Announcer
Scott Hall

General Manager
To be announced

Ok there is the roster. Football Night in America preview will be up soon. Expect the 1st show on Wednesday.

Football Night In America
January 6th, 2007 live fom Greensboro, NC

Show opens up with Scott Hall in the middle of the ring

Scott Hall-Hey yo....Hehe man that never gets old. Hope you guys are ready for some action for tonight we will have Jerry the Space Bunny set to debut and the SWB Tag Team Titles will be on the line along with a lot more suprises so stick around.

Match 1- Jerry the Space Bunny vs
Jerry the Space Bunny is in the ring when the music of the Boogeyman plays over the PA. Boogeyman makes his way into the ring with his can of worms and precedes to taunt Space Bunny with the worms. It has no affect. Jerry the Space Bunny looks on with a piercing stare, and the Boogeyman runs out of the ring. What a disapointing first match to start off Football Night in America.

Time of Cluster- 1:35

Meanwhile Backstage

Eric-Wow that match was awesome

Crusher-Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I kinda get the same feeling from that damn bunny.

Paul Heyman-What the hell? You call that wrestling? My God. Hey by the way, do to what transpired in Denver, Cutler said he wouldn't be here today.

Eric-Shut up Paul, Who the hell is Cutler? Your making no sense Paul. Lets get to our next match. I have a contract for somebody to sign

Match 2-King Booker vs Rocky Miavia
Lots of back and forth action between these two. Rocky hits King Booker with a samoan drop. He goes for the cover 1, 2, and no. King Booker kicks out. Rocky brings Booker to his feet and slings him in the ropes. Booker ducks a clothesline and comes back and hits Rocky with a scissor kick. Booker goes for the pin 1,2,..Rocky kicks out. Both men stagger back to there feet. Rock throws Booker into the ropes again. Booker collides with the referee. The ref is out cold. Rocky picks Booker up, Rock Bottom. He is going for the People's Elbow. Wait Finlay is running to the ring. Finlay trys to nail Rocky with the Jewled Shilleleigh. Rock takes it away. The Blue Bloods enter the ring and blindside Rocky. Finlay grabs the Jewled Shilleleigh and plants it in The Rock's face. Finlay and the Blue Bloods exit the ring as the red makes it back to his feet. Booker comes to and covers the Rock. 1,2,3. This match is history. King Booker grabs the microphone.

Time of Match 10:25

King Booker-Ah that was glorious. Did you see what I just did to that filthy peasent. He thought he could go 1 on 1 with King Booker and he was slain. Ha Ha Ha. I am the King and this is my kingdom. Finally the tribes have been united, these noblemen that stand before me are my Court. The Kings Court. Finlay, The Irish War Machine, The Duke of Eaton, the most methodical wrestler in the history of the world. Squire David Taylor and Lord Steven Regal , The future tag team champions of SWB. All Hail King Booker.

Eric Bischoff's office

Eric-Allright so if you just sign right here you will be the new GM and then you can do anything you want to.

Mysterious Man- Really anything I want to?

Eric-Yeah man anything you want to.

Mysterious Man-Heh well you got yourself a General Manager then Haha

Eric-Sweet well lets get to our next match

Match 3-Doink the Clown vs The Big Show
Match starts and Doink the Clown goes in for a handshake. Big Show isn't having any of it though. Hes a bit to smart for Doink's antics. Big Show throws Doink into the ropes and grabs him by the throat. Chokeslam 1,2,3.

Time of Match 0:23

Edge comes to the ring for "The Cutting Edge"

Edge-Ya know what I would say it is great to be back in this ring but it sure as hell isn't great to be in front of you stupid North Carolinians. You guys have to be the dumbest pieces of crap on the face of the map. Haha I did a rhyme. Anyway Im out here to throw my name in the hat for the SWB World Title Tournament and at the PPV on January 28 2007 You will see your new SWB champion. But right now I would like to bring out SWB Owners Eric Bischoff, Paul Heyman, and Crusher Krinkle.

Bischoff and Crusher come down to the ring on horses while Heyman trails behind riding a donkey.

Eric-Hey hey how youse guys liking the show so far, I told ya there would be horses and shit

Crowd Boos Loudly

Eric-Awesome..So uh Edge you wanna say something to us or something?

Edge-You tell me dumbass. Youre the one who wanted me to interview you. I do have a question though. Why is Heyman riding an ass.

Paul-Yeah thats what I wanna know.

Eric-Bad Shipment. Anyway lets get to the point. Im here to announce the new General Manager.

Edge-Well by all means go ahead.

Eric-The new General Manager is.....

All of a sudden a white limo pulls up and out steps John Bradshaw Layfield. He grabs the mic from Edge

JBL-Hey I was brought here for a reason and that was to run this dump of a show. This fed is garbage. And you know what you to with trash, you take it out. So my first order as GM suspend any interaction you 3 have with the actual product you guys have turned this into a ing mess.

Eric- Hey you can't do that

Paul-Yeah you can't do that, Goddamnit

Crusher-Yeah what they said

Edge-Wow

JBL-Oh yeah I can. Hah remember that clause in the contract Bischoff, where I can do what I want haha. My 2nd order is to send Crusher Krinkle to Jail for 1st degree homicide on that reporter in MT Airy. I won't allow killers on my roster. Bischoff Im sending you to drug rehab. Man you seriously need to stop doing so much yayo, And for you Paul Im sending you to Seminary College because well you just take the Lord's name in vain way too much

Greensboro PD escorts the 3 owners away from the ring.

Eric- Im gunna get you Bradshaw.

Paul-God I hate you JBL

Crusher-Im gunna kill you boy

Edge-Hey that sounds like communication of threats to me. Hey so JBL are you gunna give me a bye in this little tournament thing or what.

JBL-Hold on a second boy Im not to that yet. This show has the dumbest name ever. And its on the dumbest station ever, So I went ahead and made a deal with someone. Starting next Saturday night this show is going to be moved to ESPN2 and will be called SWB Carnage. Screw that Football Night in America crap.

Edge-Allright cool So I get a bye in the tournament all the way to the final?

JBL-Damnit boy shut up. Im getting to that. But later on tonight we will have a SWB World Tag Team match between The Evil Canadians and London and Kendrick. Im going to make this a No DQ, No Countout match.

Crowd Cheers

Edge-So Bucko what about this Tournament man?

JBL-Screw you Canuck, Don't ever call me Bucko again. allright now to the Tournament Bracket well here it is.The finals will be held at Cold Fury, January 28th from Green Bay Wisconsin. Due to King's Court actions the match between Rocky Miavia and King Booker will be an interference free match. If anyone interferes they lose thier Job.

SWB World Championship Tournament

Edge-Hey you can't do that

JBL-Sure I can, Good luck in the opening round. By the way were gunna have actual announcers next week.

Edge is irate as JBL makes his way backstage.

Match 4-Opening Round of SWB World Title Tournament: Edge vs Chris Jericho
Jericho makes his way donw to the ring as Edge is losing it inside the ring. Jericho slides in and is attacked right off the bat. Edge attacks with an intensity not ever shown by him before. He takes Jericho down. He goes up to the top rope and misses with elbow drop. Jericho gets up and hits him with the Lionsault. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho. Edge looks like he is about to tap and he does..not. He reaches the ropes. Edge gets back to his feet. He whips Jericho out of the ring. He goes back up to the top rope and hits Jericho with the elbow drop this time. A fan hands him a chair and he hits Y2J with the chair relentlessly. The ref starts to throw the DQ but Edge hits him with a chair too. Edge hits the Edgeucator on Y2J but there is no one around to make the pin. Wait a 2nd ref makes runs down to the ring. He slides in and makes the quick 3 count. Edge wins. The Ref stands up and it is Stunning Steve Austin. Wow what a match

Time of Match 13:23

Edge-See JBL you keep throwing hoops and I keep jumping through them. Your looking at your next SWB champion.

Stunning Steve Austin- I wouldn't go as far to say that. The path to the the SWB championship goes through me. Count your days ya sonofabitch.

Edge-So your saying were not friends anymore?

Steve Austin- Buisness is Buisness and I am way too good to be your friend. Haha You only wish you could be as succesful as me

Edge-Yeah I guess beating your wife makes you Time's Man of the Year huh.

Edge and Austin have a stare down. Right before commercial break.

Match 5-No DQ/NO CO SWB World Tag Team Championship: The Evil Canadians vs Kendrick and London
Storm and Hart have dominated the match thus far. Storm has Kendrick and looks like hes about to apply the Canadian Maple Leaf. Hes got him locked in and there is London with a Shooting Star Press off the top rope. He hits Storm and Kendrick in a Kami-Kaze like manuever. Storm, Kendrick, and London all appear to be knocked out. Hart comes into the ring and lays Storm on top of Kendrick. The ref makes the count 1, 2, Oh My God Kendrick kicks out. Storm and London are still unconcious. Bret Hart goes outside the ring and brings in a steel chair. He swings at Kendrick, Kendrick dropkicks the chair to Hart's face, Hart goes flying out of the ring He picks up Storm and hits the Shining Wizard. Kendrick goes for the pin 1,2,3. Storm rolls out to the outside and with Hart looks on with disbelief as Kendrick and London become the first SWB World Tag Team Champions.

Time of Match: 19:56

News

SWB Football Night in America came to a crashing halt after 1 show. Thats right the show was taken off Nickelodeon and is headed to ESPN2 with a new name and a different timeslot. You will see the debut of SWB Carnage live @9pm on ESPN2. The reason for the change was ESPN which is a subsidary of ABC/Disney was willing to pay a lot of money to have the show come to thier network. They would only accept if SWB knocked off thier silly antics and gutter humor. That was why you won't be seeing Bischoff and Heyman for a long while. JBL was brought in "make the show less of a comedy and more like an actual pro wrestling show" as Heyman stated in an interview.

Crusher Krinkle however was really arrested for 1st degree homicide. Little is known of this man but he almost singlehandedly put a halt to SWB. We wish the best for him in prison here at LordsofPain.net

SWB managed to dissapoint a lot of folks when they brought out the Boogeyman for Jerry the Space Bunny's mystery opponent. It was rumored that Hogan was going to appear but Hogan went on Bubba the Love Sponge this morning and said "There is no way I would ever do buisness with Bischoff or Heyman ever again. I won't even grace my presence in that garbage promotion'

SWB has signed some more wrestlers and some divas.
Boogeyman
Ken Doane
Maria Kanelis
Melina Perez
Alexis Laree
Victoria
Lita
Madusa
Sharmelle
Bull Nakano
Little is known about when these stars are set to debut. Other than Boogeyman who debuted last week.

Also Jerry The King Lawler and Jim Ross will make thier SWB debut on Carnage Saturday night.

Rumors

It has been rumored that at Cold Fury it will be Rocky Miavia vs Stunning Steve Austin for the SWB World Title. This is the plan that SWB writers have had in place since the get go.

JBL is reportedly sick of this Jerry the Space Bunny gimmick, something will be done about it as soon as saturday night sources say.

SWB has been in talks with The Hardy Boys and Sean Waltman it seems that those signings might be the major announcement that JBL is rumored to have this Saturday Night.

This is a little bit ridiculous but it seems that TNA and SWB might be in talks for some kinda World Cup show between the two orginizations. This is probably false though