Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 11, 2019 1:48:27 GMT -5
I forget your user, but Cameron Stone, after I get through Thunder, I'll finish you off. Maybe we can have two more matches so I can hit you with all three of my moves for the win, eh?  Good job everyone! |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 11:03:09 GMT -5
Thanks for the kind words. No worries on staleness. As they say, character evolve. And... Well... She has blue hair. That's not spunky. That makes her the blue print...
 ... Shoot, wrong universe. Ours is probably more fun to be around. @ballparkb0b I think MAIM is ready to cut a scathing promo on you to lure you out of your comatose state. |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 3:49:13 GMT -5
Think I replied to all RP's except my own. If I didn't just tell me.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 3:29:46 GMT -5
Jeez. You could've given DK the pistol. I would've taken it off you instead of you just throwing it away!
I'm personally stuck in between. I want to like this RP because it's showing so much improvement, it has so much potential, and the story is there. But I also don't want to like it because some things don't add up for me. If Mason really loved his son, why leave the hospital, unless something drastic or just visiting hours were over with? Why go to the hospital for what seems like 5 minutes in the RP and then leave again?
I'm just, stuck on an inbetween note. Don't think I'm bashing you, please don't take it that way. Just getting my thought process out in the open.
I do like it. I like the story. I like where it's going. I like the dark tones. I like the reality of it. The cutting, the suicide, the loneliness. I like it. Some things just take me out of it though.
This is still, a good RP, and each show you take our advice and you mold it and you run with it and your next RP is always better. That's the best part about it. You always get better. You're always consistent.
Good RP brother.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 3:17:29 GMT -5
Fun fact to those who don't read DK RP's: My first or maybe second RP, infaced my childhood friend named 'Dragonslayer', so that got a pop from me.
Now, your RP is great. Without trying to repeat Mesh, you have such a way with words. Reading your RP's are easy, they just roll off the tongue so to speak. I enjoy reading Zmey RP's now. The style just seems, I don't know, kind of old timey? I'm sorry that I don't know much about Zmey, I haven't read a Zmey RP until this one, and man I'm glad I did. Like I've told you before, you constantly put out great work that I just absolutely love reading. Top notch RP, and yet another RP of the Year contender, along with Mesh's Billy Broom RP, and the whole main event of last SuperBrawl.
This is gonna be fun.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 3:03:36 GMT -5
Honestly? Everything Mesh said. Your errors are there, but we can forget that. Your dialogue is a little choppy, but it most of it comes together naturally. I like the story, I like that it's short and sweet and to the point, and I like your promo and how you poked fun at your character. I know what's been going on in your personal life, so you're errors and the dialogue can be overlooked considering you've been pretty busy. I like it, I like her spunk and energy, and I just like it. My only worry is that after a while, it may become stale, her being this energetic I mean.
Looks like we have the girl in the mask vs the girl with the blue hair for who is the spunkiest.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 2:43:08 GMT -5
I don't want to hear it, you blue haired pixie. Go listen to your rave music you millennial!Better than listening to Avenged Sevenfold amirite? That's it. Mesh/DK confirmed for SuperBrawl XI, winner gets to say their music taste is in fact the best. |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 2:37:01 GMT -5
I'm first reply though. #first Technically...... #no I don't want to hear it, you blue haired pixie. Go listen to your rave music you millennial! |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 2:35:46 GMT -5
I'm first reply? Awesome! Oh, you stole my gimmick? You bastard! Jokes aside, it's a solid piece. I enjoy it, you had some grammatical mistakes but nothing too big or fancy, and I like that you do a monologue. I may be crazy but I think this is your first one. I appreciate it! I think it makes the piece as a whole a bit better. This MAY be a bit off, and someone feel free to correct me, but I wish there was more here. Like Mesh told me and Mason, slow down some. I get why Mesh told me now. It seems somewhat rushed, we don't get to digest the emotions as readers. Luke talks sweetly then violently, then Wolf(e??) shows more distance between himself and Luke, and then straight into the monologue. Chop it up into bits, make more substance of things, add in, dare I say, 'filler', that's not exactly filler? Maybe someone else can find a better word than I can. HOWEVER, I like where this story is going, and I like your style. I like The Father, and I think this is a good piece. Nope. I was. I read this before all y'all. I'm first reply though. #first |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 2:34:36 GMT -5
F**k who am I kidding? This was astronomical! I love this story you're telling, and it's not Billy's intention but I'm being dead serious when I say when written like this he is a serious world title contender. This had the lowest, darkest crapI've read in a while, all with a great story. I love this, this battle between coping with the loss of the presence of Jenny in his life and doing the right things to get her back in his life is amazing. The news article, the Sleater ordeal, the breakdown in Hell, I mean, it's all so f**king good and well written.
RP of the year contender right here. Whoever is sleeping on this RP and hasn't read it yet, well you're doing yourself a big disservice.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 2:31:22 GMT -5
Spelling errors.
Like, two.
And uh.. yeah. That's all for the bad.
For the good... meh. It was okay.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 6, 2019 2:11:29 GMT -5
I'm first reply? Awesome!
Oh, you stole my gimmick? You bastard!
Jokes aside, it's a solid piece. I enjoy it, you had some grammatical mistakes but nothing too big or fancy, and I like that you do a monologue. I may be crazy but I think this is your first one. I appreciate it! I think it makes the piece as a whole a bit better.
This MAY be a bit off, and someone feel free to correct me, but I wish there was more here. Like Mesh told me and Mason, slow down some. I get why Mesh told me now. It seems somewhat rushed, we don't get to digest the emotions as readers. Luke talks sweetly then violently, then Wolf(e??) shows more distance between himself and Luke, and then straight into the monologue. Chop it up into bits, make more substance of things, add in, dare I say, 'filler', that's not exactly filler? Maybe someone else can find a better word than I can.
HOWEVER, I like where this story is going, and I like your style. I like The Father, and I think this is a good piece.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 4, 2019 11:24:15 GMT -5
I promise I'm gonna read RP's soon, probably tomorrow since I'll be in Nashville all day for work.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 4, 2019 1:06:47 GMT -5
Thanks Mesh. You know how it is, you're your own toughest critic. I've told you this privately but I'll say it here - I'm always here to help you with writing and such for your characters. I could never repay you brother. |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 4, 2019 0:45:39 GMT -5
I know how much you struggled this month to write something that you were happy with so I appreciate you getting this up. Thanks Mesh. You know how it is, you're your own toughest critic. |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 4, 2019 0:24:21 GMT -5
Oh man. I forgot I have to write a match.
Heh, heh, uhh Mesh, hope you don't mind I'm gonna speed rush this
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 4, 2019 0:18:03 GMT -5
Destroy What You Enjoy Monologue: Dream On.
Devilkiller is seen sitting in a room compromising of only a mirror and a red lightbulb overhead, his facepaint glistening off of the light and reflecting from the mirror. He takes a deep, shakey breath, before looking into the camera.
At Hell I was humiliated in front the world by Cameron Stone. I was left a mess in the middle of that ring. I was left just a shamble of what this last run has been for me. I've been working and working trying to get the very best out of me and yet, somehow when the time comes for me to have my best come out I always let myself down.
He sighs, looking away from the camera and slamming his fist on his knee. The Hardcore King leans back in his chair while shaking his head, trying to keep his focus.
It should've been me Cameron Stone. I know I sound like a broken record at this point but I don't care because dammit, it SHOULD'VE BEEN ME! I worked harder for that win than you did Cameron. I thought smarter for that win than you did Cameron. I was just RIGHT THERE and I just, UGH!
Devilkiller stands up and slings the chair across the room, the metallic crash bouncing off the wall and onto the floor. He now paces back and forth, wall to wall.
I wanted that win. I needed that win. I needed it so bad not even you would understand Cam. But you are the only one who could understand.
Remember your missed opportunity at SuperBrawl where you literally couldn't even hang with anyone else? You were just thrown in based on luck? Remember how humbled you felt? Remember how you needed that win for validity? To show the others you could do it? THAT WAS ME!
But I didn't need it for validity, I have that. Being in a history book, even if it's now behind someone else, has its merit. I have the validity. I didn't need it to show the others I could do it. They saw me beat Penny Shannon at the biggest stage of them all. No no, I needed it purely to gain something. To gain a notch on the belt.
I know we have some time before, but incase you weren't keeping score Survival of the Fittest is coming up. What's it going to look like if I come in after beating these stars? Penny Shannon? Check. Cameron Stone? Check. That's two people who have beaten the current world champion right there, what makes me any different? I needed it to believe in myself dammit.
Now look at me. The lines on my face are definitely showing at 28, my bones feel the creaks after the crazy dives I do, and my head feels like a piñata that keeps getting hit around with a baseball bat. I don't believe in myself. I just don't. I'm not Jayson Sykes where that's my whole motto. I'm a lot like you where I'm a realist, and the realist in me tells me dammit you just were the better man that night.
That's okay. I know I can't beat everyone all of the time, but all I need is to beat everyone some of the time. Their off days, their days they underestimate me, their days where they just show up only to save face. That's all I need.
Cameron Stone, I'm going to get you, on your best day or your worst day, because now I know how to win.
Sometimes, you have to lose to know how to win.
With that Devilkiller snaps around and swings a punch straight at the mirror, absolutely shattering it as the camera focus' on the broken shards of glass in the floor as it fades to black.
**********************
OOC: This was fun. I needed it. I got to vent a little bit. I've been having a rough time lately just grasping things around here it's not even funny. I'm trying my damnedest to become a good writer, not on the levels of the very best but I want to be able to beat people like Penny Shannon twice in four matches with her at her best. If I can do that, I'm fairly happy with myself. I wanna hang with people like Mesh and Rich and not just, you know, be the solid one that everyone says "meh it's okay."
So do me a favor, everyone reading this, drop it below or shoot me a PM, give me some tips and advice on making RP's better. The one I had written for this was literally gonna kill me.
And to Cameron Stone, I don't know what you want others to know, but I'll tell you I hope everything gets better. I wish for nothing but the best for you and your family. Keep being a standup guy and if you need to talk, you know where to find me. Stay true to yourself man.
To everyone else, thanks for reading, and if you do it, thanks for any advice you drop my way. I appreciate it.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Oct 1, 2019 13:14:05 GMT -5
I'll take some hours. Decent chance it won't be finished at exactly midnight.
|
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Sept 30, 2019 2:13:51 GMT -5
I'll make sure to get something up but can't promise it's gonna be great. Issues with my stepdad has had my mom needing me around a lot, plus my grandmother got diagnosed with lung cancer. So yeah this has been a great two weeks. But I will get *something* up by deadline. Going to attempt to spend all of Monday afternoon on it. Real life always comes before this place. I'm still trying to find my way anyway. Maybe, just maybe Stone/DK III will be a barn burner. In the meantime, you focus on your family. That's most important. |
|
Devilkiller
Main Eventer
WFWF. Go see about it.
Joined on: Mar 17, 2012 16:49:19 GMT -5
Posts: 1,869
|
Post by Devilkiller on Sept 25, 2019 2:20:38 GMT -5
I've hit a brick wall which is okay, it's just the swing of my work schedule. It'll fix itself after the next day or two, then it should be up by deadline!
|
|
