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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 14, 2016 17:09:35 GMT -5
Short, sweet, and to the point. Really got across the desperation of your character. One big thumbs down for me though: the drug use. I'm older and have a bit of experience in that area. I lost a friend to heroin in college. We tried to help but were too late and he OD'd. I feel like it's only fair to give you a trigger warning - WFWF is a veritable drug den. TRUTH! Yeah, even the most clean cut of characters dabble in some form of drug. Maybe you can use that for Vass as you continue to develop him. Food for thought. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 14, 2016 0:10:37 GMT -5
Congrats to the Warriors for getting to 73.
And how about Kobe dropping 60, including a game winner, in his swan song.
Truly a special night.
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 23:59:04 GMT -5
Kobe was great an all. All time great. But I won't miss him at all. He is one of the last remnants of the awful 99-09 NBA era and the awful ISO ball that was played. I'm sorry but this is just not true. That 10 year span had some of the greatest games and moments in sports. And honestly, if you take the Jordan blinders off, the 90s weren't that great of an era either. I have to side with TRW here. The 2000-2009 era was more about ISO ball because there were a lot of great one on one players, and because of that a lot of teams built their teams around one star player and the rest of the team just kind of enabled that player. Examples (Keep in mind, I like a lot of these guys and I took parts of each person's arsenal and adapted it to my own game): Iverson Kobe McGrady Garnett (before going to Boston) Pierce (before KG and Ray Allen got there) LeBron Dwight Howard (Orlando, when he got called the more athletic Shaq) Even now with Harden, Westbrook, Durant. But the game has changed, and I think the 2008 Celtics started it (superstars sacrificing numbers for wins) and GM's started building their teams a lot smarter now. While the 90's was very physical defense which caused the rules to change in order to protect players, the game has evolved on the basics of good ball movement and cutting, positionless basketball. The Spurs have been doing it for quite a while now, but the Warriors have perfected it. We're also seeing that the elite teams easily run 10-12 deep. Everyone is going to have their opinions of which era is the greatest, and while I'm more inclined to the 90's because it was the era that caused me to fall in love with the game. That said, I am just enjoying how special this season really has been. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 22:40:57 GMT -5
Hmm, honestly, more people have think ill win then i thought. Lol Listen man, you have been thrown in the deep end and it didn't scare you away. You've embraced it and have improved against the best, all while carrying yourself as a class act. But that trial by fire is going to pay off. Don't believe me, go back and look at the 2014 shows and my particular rp's from when I first came back and had a reputation to uphold. I had exactly ONE win in 2014 before the Clash at the beginning of 2015, and look at where I am now. That's not being cocky either, but living proof that by listening to the feedback and making adjustments in your writing as you go, something will catch on and your confidence will grow. That's all it takes to go on a run. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 19:27:44 GMT -5
Word. Comes out to about two and a half full posts on WF. He is proud of his SuperBrawl rp. He told me that he's shooting for 100 this time around. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 19:26:22 GMT -5
Shawn flexing his muscles, mouse on the ban button.  #adminproblems |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 15:04:16 GMT -5
You bloody teachers. Coming over here, stealing our jobs. I stand corrected, Drakz will give me grief... even though I have a job. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 14:42:17 GMT -5
So the Warriors attempt at breaking the record or Kobe's last game.
Which are you watching tonight?
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 14:41:04 GMT -5
I think we can safely deduce that Shawn's a big Trump fan. There's a special place in hell for people that compare me to Trump fans. Well, there goes Bish's return. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 14:39:23 GMT -5
Next thing you know, Shawn's gonna give me grief about being a teacher.
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 13:48:13 GMT -5
Don't believe a word he says. He ribs me enough while playing nice, but every afternoon he secretly hopes a northbound tanker will come barreling up the highway and put me out of his misery. I thought we were over this silly "I wish a tractor trailer would steamroll over you" part of our relationship? Why do I have the feeling that I've been hexed now? |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 13:35:38 GMT -5
I take it I'm the etc. you speak of. Bitter early morning posting meant I knew I'd forget someone, but yes. Even "mid carders" these days like Ante have the skills and resources to beat his best stuff from back then. I was writing short goofy comedy stuff and somehow succeeded. The WFWF was far more populated then, but the quality is a lot higher now. I'm just joking with ya, I knew what you meant by it (thank you for the endorsement btw). I agree on the assessment of overall skill though, because even though I came in at the end of 2006 when Rev and C took over, I can see the evolution of my own writing from then to now. F*cking night and day. Ante (since you used him as an example), and I'll say it publicly here, is one/two kickass rp's away from being a legit main eventer now. It was a different time then, and the style that was successful in 2006 just doesn't hold up as well in 2016. Good writing is still good writing. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 12:59:14 GMT -5
Didn't he win a world title with that schtick? Might actually be in your best interest. he was booking the fed at the time.. and never defended it once winning it edit: since my ol buddy ol pal SYE said basically the same thing, I'll add; any of the current upper echelon could smash him on his best day on their off day. That's Drakz, Trace, Shawn under whatever gimmick he's using this week, SYE, etc. I could've smashed him any day of the week during my Unmotivated in 2014 Tour and that says something. The current crop is such a higher level than the past crop. If you need convincing, Drakz has had 10 years of writing experience since then and was a top guy back then.. I take it I'm the etc. you speak of. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 12:56:27 GMT -5
Ask anyone. If I don't give you a hard time, it means I probably don't like you. I'm giving you a hard time, therefore you should stick around for a long time. TRUTH! |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 13, 2016 11:57:41 GMT -5
Brennan pretty much covered my talking points bro, but what I want to commend you for is your word choices (a favorite of a lot of tenured guys here). One thing that seperates writers from each other is correctly using different words to describe adjectives or verbs (jovial instead of happy, for example). As an English teacher irl, I try to emphasize that to my students and it's a process that takes time to perfect. You did that here and it shows me you have put alot of thought into this vignette. Just remember to talk about your match or relate it back to the match somehow and you're in good shape. I'm positive that you'll utilize the whole writing period moving forward, and because of that, I'm intrigued to see what you do next.
Welcome man.
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 12, 2016 21:12:06 GMT -5
Hola from Frank Lynn, As a form of intro to me and my writing style, I would like to point people to my short lived ECW Text fed; the three big PPVs in particular. If you read through the shows, you will get a pretty good idea how I like to write, particularly the main event matches. This should be a bit easier because I don't have to book an entire roster and try to write-up 7-8 matches every two months. It will be nice to concentrate on just one match and make it really good. ECW Hardcore HeavenECW Heatwave
ECW Anarchy RulzThe skills are definitely there in the match writing department. Should be able to transfer over pretty well to the RP'ing style. Take a look at how guys format their work to get an idea how to use your style in RP format Welcome man. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 12, 2016 21:04:57 GMT -5
Didn't he win a world title with that schtick? Might actually be in your best interest. I don't think it was the gimmick that landed him in the title picture. I think it was the owner  Ouch. Shots fired. |
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 12, 2016 21:02:51 GMT -5
So when was the last time we had 9 matches on the card? End Game is the last time I can remember something close to that turn out.
This show is going to be sick!
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 12, 2016 19:20:44 GMT -5
Ahriman: This is the very definition of a "trap game" for Drakz, and I think he knows it. Shawn's been running hot for quite a while now, he's motivated, and is putting together some really strong work, even if the results haven't shown it. It's hard to bet against Drakz because there's no holes in his game, but Shawn's passion carries into his work here with his current arch and I think he uses that to pull off the upset. Coin flip.
Dean vs. Demon: I'm not going to vote on my match, but you can't go wrong picking here. To provide comments on the match itself, Trace and I are excited to do this program and I realize to win, I must put out a top notch effort because Trace is going to bring it.
Stone: Very few guys step up in big match situations better than Cam. Crowe's been more active and has been consistently solid, but I know Cam has something special lined up. It's close, but I think Cam gets it done here.
Brennan: Brennan has a lot of firepower at his disposal and like Shawn said, he doesn't lose in title eliminators. While Ante is coming in motivated and Mike can f*ck around and come up large, I think Brennan staves them off here. This one is closer than many may anticipate.
Dex: This is actually a match I've been back and forth on. When both guys are on, they are two of the toughest outs in the fed. But I just think Dex has a chip on his shoulder and something to prove. That gets him the win here.
Wolf: Both guys here are on the verge of breaking out something huge. Bison has really hit the ground running, but Wolf has been thrown in head first into the top storyline, and the experience gives him material he can use. Plus I know he has the desire to get his first W, and I think he gets it.
Vass/Alexander: Experience wins here. Quentin has the goods, and a solid effort should do it. Don't sleep on the team of Mantis and Richardson, both guys have a lot of promise.
Jette: He has promise. Not only that, but even though he turned in late for Dark Matter he still turned in a quality effort. I think he takes the critiques and makes the adjustments to get a big win here.
Skinner: I normally would've went Shapiro, but he seems to be struggling with ideas/time. This hurts him and having seen some of Urich's past work, I think he puts it together for a win.
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Post by jdfranchise on Apr 12, 2016 15:34:19 GMT -5
I'm actually nervous. I feel like I can't write anymore. My advice is to focus on the character itself. Too many guys try to fly through the progression and then they fade when they run out of material. You've picked up the writing style very quickly and have a lot of natural talent. Don't rush try. |
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