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Yay, a Cam return match!

I've been working on the main event already

Dex nailed some good points here bro, specifically about wanting you to delve more into the Phoenix Nitro character. We got a glimpse of a motivation, but I feel as though we didn't learn very much aside from the basics. Having character based out of Atlanta like I do, I know that the crime rate is definitely something that's easy to plug for a "hardened edge credibility" as Atlanta is infamous for it, but you went to the point of harping on it too much to fill space. It's not a bad thing, because a hardened edge is a cornerstone of a good character in these types of writing outlets.

Some things to help you moving forward, slow down your thought process. Character development is a major factor in what we do here. Develop some side characters and look at their relationships in how they shape Phoenix. You have a great opportunity with a character that's spent time in Japan to do so. Learn to set some hooks in your writing, as it gives you something to refer back to later. Nothing kills momentum like always having to tie things up neatly every time out.

Overall bro, like Dex said a pretty good starter piece. You have some good skills, like your vocabulary is pretty strong and you already have a grasp on sentence structure. As you start crafting your presentation, those things will help you out tremendously. I believe you can be a player quickly if you continue to be open for feedback. Nice work bro.

So Drakz, hope you don't mind if I do the post results questionnaire.

1. Favorite Match
2. Favorite Moment
3. Biggest Shock
4. Show MVP

1. Three way Tag Eliminate. Ante, you took another tough assignment and wrote everyone to look good.

2. Sam on commentary, not just for the snide comments, but his impact on the main event.

3. Ante turning on Kyzer. I legit didn't see that coming.

4. Shawn. The idea to put Sam on commentary was a great move to further some angles. Plus you took a curveball with DB leaving and made an excellent way to further what's turning into a massive angle.

Further comments, what's going on with Thornstowe and Gotch? It seems like they got killed off with the way the match was laid out.

Outside of that question, sexuh results as usual. The pay per view is shaping up nicely if the angles are progressing the way I think they are.

I'll write Penny vs. Shapiro.

The guys above me nailed it, but I want to point out that you understand how to write and present. Stevie Wonder can see that. You know that a tone and emotion needs to be set with your words, but what I'm seeing is that you're teetering very close to getting away from what got you hot in the first place. Your dialouge, your scenes, utilizing and studying your side characters are all things you do very well. I'd love to see you get back to that and also start setting hooks in your writing, because I believe when you set hooks, you give yourself something to fall back on.

Listen, everyone has that period of time where they struggle for ideas and try to press the issue with filler. But those times don't last. So slow yourself down and get back to what you do well and you'll turn it around.

I totally agree with Mike here bro, as he gave a reason to back up Trace and Drakz's comments. I first must compliment the guts it took to go outside your normal comfort zone in such a critical match for you and Jack. But Mike said something that I think sums up what I've been thinking for a long time when it comes to your rps in general.

Pace.

For me I agree the destination was better than the journey, but I think it's because you didn't pace the narrative as effectively as you could've. That narrative is very key in presenting Jayson from the inside out, if that makes any sense. I can't put my finger on what exactly felt rushed, perhaps instead of an introspective look around Jay's surroundings, maybe a running commentary would've helped it read with that extra element. I do however think the technical aspects of your writing have improved a lot in the past year because you've been put through the wringer with tough opponents.

I'll say this man, you've got the tools to be huge, and I think you showing for these tough matches is going to be invaluable in helping you perfect your style. Good work man.

Even though this is a glorified participation piece, I love the way this reads man. No flowery language, and because of that it felt like a shoot of some sort. I've talked with you at length about your decision to take time off after the PPV and I understand your reasons. I also agree with Trace, I wouldn't drop the revolutionary thing just yet, but maybe look for another angle in this time off. But the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself and come back strong.

I agree with Drakz, Mike, and Trace here. This seems more like an outline of something bigger. But I do like the idea of Gotch finding his amateur singlet, and I think indirectly you set a hook for something to build on. For your next rp, I'd like to see you expand on the significance of going this route, and you'll be surprised where it takes you.

You're doing some good things man, but like Drakz said, you have got to give each action, word, etc. a purpose. So slow down, and really think about the direction you're wanting to go.