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Post by JCF on Feb 24, 2012 18:06:39 GMT -5
Ok, WF, this is what I got going this time... lol. I've been friends with a girl since childhood. This goes back many years. We've come to be friends, yet not stay in touch. I saw her at a get together, surprisingly and by the time it was over, we just said bye to each other. I was like... ok. On the ride home, I get a friend request on FB from her. That was... surprising to say the least. I didn't see it coming. When I actually got home, we chatted for a bit. I was like, ok.. this is somewhat cool.
She has always had health issues. She's beautiful, and her personality is to die for. I personally feel she's a 10/10; always have and always will. I met her boyfriend and he was cool. We talked for a bit at the party and he was a WWE fan, so that was fun to chat about. He looked like a nice guy.... but you could tell, he's got that "I'm a hotshot" look to him. I personally don't; I'm like the girl, I don't flaunt my stuff. I am who I am.
Now, if I didn't lose you by now (lol), this is the current situation. I heard news that the boyfriend actually got rid of her this past week. I was shocked. They were a match if you ask me. I also found out this week, her health issues acted up again. She was diagnosed with alopecia and her hair is falling out (in the back). She covers it up, but this could turn out really bad but hopefully it doesn't. To me, despite whatever health issues she has and if she is losing her hair fully, that's not a problem. She's beautiful and is not like any other girl I've seen. Yeah... I think I'm into her.
I feel terrible though. The past week, she lost her BF, and was diagnosed with a horrible, horrible problem. I sent her a message. I said, stay strong, fight the issue and you can overcome this obstacle like you've done before. I got a reply back today, she said thanks, blah blah blah, and put a heart. She really appreciated it. And it's just me showing my true feelings. But the thing is I don't know how to go about this from here. I was thinking, I'd offer to take her out, or send her my number and see if she starts to text me, or something like that. I feel she can turn to me for anything and can vent to me. The thing is- we've known each other for so long- our families are close, and I don't want to try and make it look like I'm taking advantage of a situation. Advice?
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OYDK?
Main Eventer
Joined on: May 22, 2011 13:55:27 GMT -5
Posts: 2,676
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Post by OYDK? on Feb 24, 2012 18:19:35 GMT -5
You sound like you're just being a nice guy, I'm sure she'll pick up on that.
No harm in being there for her.
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Post by juicewinslow on Feb 24, 2012 18:20:42 GMT -5
Just ask her if she wants to hang out... and give her your number. "You should call me some time."
Why wouldn't you?
I DOUBT she will think you are taking advantage of her.
Also - one of my good friends (who is a chick, she is married to my best friend).. lost all her hair. I don't know exactly why... I asked my mom about it before and she said it was pretty common amongst females. She wear a wig now and you can hardly tell. I felt bad for het though cause everyone thought she had cancer or something. (it's not cancer, it's stress related)
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Feb 24, 2012 18:32:59 GMT -5
I would just chat or message her on Facebook. First start the conversion with a little bit of small talk, make sure it's something upbeat not like a depressing story or incident, anything along those lines avoid bring up in the conversation. Then when you feel the timing is right ask if she would like to hang out sometime, and give her your phone then say text me sometime so we could talk on the go.
If she assumes that your taking advantage of her current condition, just explain to her why you really want to talk/hang out with her and try to thoroughly explain why the condition is not related. If she still continues to question, forget about it, she's not worth the time because she would obvious be one of those types that questions first then thinks later and it would get in the way if you were to ever get into a relationship with her.
Another note, how would it make it seem how your taking advantage of a situation anyways?, clearly if someone who you know lost there hair most people wouldn't find it very attractive in a women without hair.
Her boyfriend for example, he saw that the relationship wasn't going to work out so he bailed as for you, you like her for who she is as a person regardless of her condition. Of all things I would think fondly of you if I was her and you brought up the question to go out with her.
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Post by DontHassleTheHoff on Feb 24, 2012 18:43:55 GMT -5
I would message her with your number and put the ball in her court, ask her if she feels like hanging out to take her mind of things or talk about anything then she can give you a call and you can meet up. Just be careful not to plunge yourself in the friend-zone, but honestly, either way, sounds like your being a really nice guy and i'm sure she will see that and appreciate it.
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Post by ~*Young $ Money*~ on Feb 24, 2012 19:27:01 GMT -5
Either keep being interested and see if u get her number or give her yours. A great thing to do is if you have to go somewhere and your talkin to her say I really have to go but text me I wanna finish the convo.
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Post by MC2 on Feb 24, 2012 19:34:24 GMT -5
I mean right now she's at her weakest but the thing is if you act right now, you might enter the dreaded friend zone, it really could go either way.
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Feb 24, 2012 19:40:52 GMT -5
I mean right now she's at her weakest but the thing is if you act right now, you might enter the dreaded friend zone, it really could go either way. MC2, there already friends now...
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Post by DontHassleTheHoff on Feb 24, 2012 20:13:08 GMT -5
I mean right now she's at her weakest but the thing is if you act right now, you might enter the dreaded friend zone, it really could go either way. MC2, there already friends now... "They're" And it's not the same really, he said he's only recently gotten back in touch with her after a long time, that doesn't quite mean he's totaly in the friend zone at this point.
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Feb 24, 2012 20:17:19 GMT -5
MC2, there already friends now... "They're" And it's not the same really, he said he's only recently gotten back in touch with her after a long time, that doesn't quite mean he's totaly in the friend zone at this point. You lose.
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Post by DontHassleTheHoff on Feb 24, 2012 20:23:33 GMT -5
"They're" And it's not the same really, he said he's only recently gotten back in touch with her after a long time, that doesn't quite mean he's totaly in the friend zone at this point. You lose. Rule of thumb- If they don't have your phone number- you are not in their friend zone. The end of the quote you used to make me "Lose" clearly says, they don't really stay in touch.
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Feb 24, 2012 20:37:14 GMT -5
You lose. Rule of thumb- If they don't have your phone number- you are not in their friend zone. The end of the quote you used to make me "Lose" clearly says, they don't really stay in touch. So if you don't talk to a person, that no longer makes you friends? People always have other things they want to pursue in life, if you lose a few friends here and there, that's normal. It happens all the time. But when they meet up again it's only a reinstatement of their reoccurring friendship. It doesn't mean they weren't friends to begin with.
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Post by pxkgotosleep on Feb 24, 2012 20:42:49 GMT -5
Just talk to her.
If you feel like a scum bag, get her drunk and do her.
Just saying, you know.. The options there. (not that I'd ever take it or that, being SxE and all.)
But you seem to be doing alright. Just keep at it. Be a nice guy and make sure to avoid being friend zoned. Drop hints. Look for a romantic moment.
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Post by DontHassleTheHoff on Feb 24, 2012 20:57:21 GMT -5
Rule of thumb- If they don't have your phone number- you are not in their friend zone. The end of the quote you used to make me "Lose" clearly says, they don't really stay in touch. So if you don't talk to a person, that no longer makes you friends? People always have other things they want to pursue in life, if you lose a few friends here and there, that's normal. It happens all the time. But when they meet up again it's only a reinstatement of their reoccurring friendship. It doesn't mean they weren't friends to begin with. There is a difference between being a friend and being in the "friend zone". A friend zone person, would be someone you go to and talk about everything with on a fairly consistant basis.
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Feb 24, 2012 21:01:01 GMT -5
So if you don't talk to a person, that no longer makes you friends? People always have other things they want to pursue in life, if you lose a few friends here and there, that's normal. It happens all the time. But when they meet up again it's only a reinstatement of their reoccurring friendship. It doesn't mean they weren't friends to begin with. There is a difference between being a friend and being in the "friend zone". A friend zone person, would be someone you go to and talk about everything with on a fairly consistant basis. Understood, thank you for the clarification.
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Post by DontHassleTheHoff on Feb 24, 2012 21:11:26 GMT -5
There is a difference between being a friend and being in the "friend zone". A friend zone person, would be someone you go to and talk about everything with on a fairly consistant basis. Understood, thank you for the clarification. Haha sorry, I should have just said that much sooner, but i'm glad you get what i'm saying!
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Feb 24, 2012 21:13:31 GMT -5
Understood, thank you for the clarification. Haha sorry, I should have just said that much sooner, but i'm glad you get what i'm saying! It would have ended my argument alot sooner lol and I resent that 'They're" comment as a reply lmao
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Post by Hulkamaniac on Feb 24, 2012 22:54:10 GMT -5
So if you don't talk to a person, that no longer makes you friends? People always have other things they want to pursue in life, if you lose a few friends here and there, that's normal. It happens all the time. But when they meet up again it's only a reinstatement of their reoccurring friendship. It doesn't mean they weren't friends to begin with. There is a difference between being a friend and being in the "friend zone". A friend zone person, would be someone you go to and talk about everything with on a fairly consistant basis. I'd like to further clarify that the friend zone is where you are when the chick considers you a friend and just a friend and nothing more. The chick will never consider you something more and any move on your part comes off as creepy and unwanted. You're a friend and will never be anything more.
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Post by Lorenzo Alcazar on Feb 24, 2012 23:29:24 GMT -5
I think you should contact her and see if she wants to hang out. People on here talk about the friend zone and yadda yadda yadda, but unless you're hooking up with bar skanks and having one night stands, there isn't a way to get in a romantic or sexual situation with somebody who you aren't friends with first.
Life isn't like that American Dad Episode where Stan just walked up to a girl in a club and yelled 'INTERCOURSE' at her. You have to be friends with somebody first. And spilling you're guts to a girl and letting her know you like her before you are really close friends just makes you come off as creepy.
Don't listen to the people on here about the "Friend Zone". Yeah it happens, but that is what girls do to guys who they aren't interested in at all. If you two are meant to be, it'll happen after you're friends. If not, it wasn't meant to be, but you got a close friend out of it.
Good luck man.
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radicalpunk
Main Eventer
Joined on: Jul 19, 2008 22:11:12 GMT -5
Posts: 1,059
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Post by radicalpunk on Feb 25, 2012 0:51:27 GMT -5
you should just be friends with her and try to hang out once in a while. she'll get the idea that you're interested. try not to give her your number until things get interesting because she might see you as a good friend and not anything more. you might not know how she feels and if you try anything, it might be a mistake.
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