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Post by Brad on Oct 8, 2014 9:13:06 GMT -5
I have a 2 and a half-year-old nephew who I look after quite often. Not once has it ever crossed my mind to spank him when he misbehaves. To be fair he's pretty well behaved anyway but if he does do something bad, I get him to make eye contact with me and I tell him in a firm voice not to do what he's doing and why he shouldn't. I also often bring it back to him and ask him if he'd like it if someone did that to him. Someone earlier in this thread said that you can't reason with kids on an intellectual level but I haven't found that to be true. At least not with my nephew. He listens to me and I can see by the look on his face that he understands what I'm trying to get across to him. And for the record, I was never spanked. It's not common in the UK. It's more likely you'll get a slipper to the arse, not hard but just enough to make you go "Ow, what was that for?". My Dad only did that a couple of times though and it never affected me badly. It was me that said you can't reason with them. I should retract that statement and make it more clear. I do understand that with some children that may work. However, you have to consider that not every child is the same. What works for one may not work for another. In the case of my nephew (who btw lives with me) in most cases simply talking to him does not work. We do not spank every single time he does something wrong. We do try simply talking first. But if that doesn't work, he's spanked.
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Post by Brunt's Left Foot on Oct 8, 2014 11:14:13 GMT -5
I have a 2 and a half-year-old nephew who I look after quite often. Not once has it ever crossed my mind to spank him when he misbehaves. To be fair he's pretty well behaved anyway but if he does do something bad, I get him to make eye contact with me and I tell him in a firm voice not to do what he's doing and why he shouldn't. I also often bring it back to him and ask him if he'd like it if someone did that to him. Someone earlier in this thread said that you can't reason with kids on an intellectual level but I haven't found that to be true. At least not with my nephew. He listens to me and I can see by the look on his face that he understands what I'm trying to get across to him. And for the record, I was never spanked. It's not common in the UK. It's more likely you'll get a slipper to the arse, not hard but just enough to make you go "Ow, what was that for?". My Dad only did that a couple of times though and it never affected me badly. It was me that said you can't reason with them. I should retract that statement and make it more clear. I do understand that with some children that may work. However, you have to consider that not every child is the same. What works for one may not work for another. In the case of my nephew (who btw lives with me) in most cases simply talking to him does not work. We do not spank every single time he does something wrong. We do try simply talking first. But if that doesn't work, he's spanked. If talking doesn't work, I would punish him in some other way.
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Post by 0,Y on Oct 8, 2014 14:58:03 GMT -5
I have a 2 and a half-year-old nephew who I look after quite often. Not once has it ever crossed my mind to spank him when he misbehaves. To be fair he's pretty well behaved anyway but if he does do something bad, I get him to make eye contact with me and I tell him in a firm voice not to do what he's doing and why he shouldn't. I also often bring it back to him and ask him if he'd like it if someone did that to him. Someone earlier in this thread said that you can't reason with kids on an intellectual level but I haven't found that to be true. At least not with my nephew. He listens to me and I can see by the look on his face that he understands what I'm trying to get across to him. Bingo! That's how you raise a child and not by beating them up.
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Post by Brad on Oct 8, 2014 18:07:17 GMT -5
I have a 2 and a half-year-old nephew who I look after quite often. Not once has it ever crossed my mind to spank him when he misbehaves. To be fair he's pretty well behaved anyway but if he does do something bad, I get him to make eye contact with me and I tell him in a firm voice not to do what he's doing and why he shouldn't. I also often bring it back to him and ask him if he'd like it if someone did that to him. Someone earlier in this thread said that you can't reason with kids on an intellectual level but I haven't found that to be true. At least not with my nephew. He listens to me and I can see by the look on his face that he understands what I'm trying to get across to him. Bingo! That's how you raise a child and not by beating them up. Swatting a child on their butt is far from beating them up
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Post by figurecollector on Oct 8, 2014 20:00:20 GMT -5
I do not think anyone here condones beating up a child, hitting a child in the face, etc. A spanking is to get their attention and to get them back to behaving properly. I hope it is not the case where anyone sits down daily and thinks of ways to get a chance to spank their child.
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Post by Brad on Oct 8, 2014 21:46:25 GMT -5
I do not think anyone here condones beating up a child, hitting a child in the face, etc. A spanking is to get their attention and to get them back to behaving properly. I hope it is not the case where anyone sits down daily and thinks of ways to get a chance to spank their child. This. Exactly
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Post by 0,Y on Oct 9, 2014 2:47:59 GMT -5
Bingo! That's how you raise a child and not by beating them up. Swatting a child on their butt is far from beating them up It's still unneccessary violence.
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Post by Brad on Oct 9, 2014 8:10:40 GMT -5
Swatting a child on their butt is far from beating them up It's still unneccessary violence. Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline.
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Post by 0,Y on Oct 9, 2014 9:15:49 GMT -5
It's still unneccessary violence. Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline. Not sure what the bible has to do with anything but okay.
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Post by Brad on Oct 9, 2014 13:01:15 GMT -5
Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline. Not sure what the bible has to do with anything but okay. It's the ultimate authority in a lot of people's lives. For those that believe it's truly inspired by God and meant to be used as a standard for life. (Which I do) That's what it has to do with it.
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Post by 0,Y on Oct 9, 2014 13:26:29 GMT -5
Not sure what the bible has to do with anything but okay. It's the ultimate authority in a lot of people's lives. For those that believe it's truly inspired by God and meant to be used as a standard for life. (Which I do) That's what it has to do with it. Well I understand that but to what extent? If it said 'If your child misbehaves cut his stomach open with a steak knife', would that still be right? Where do you draw the line? What's still okay as a form of disciplining your child and what is abuse?
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Post by k5 on Oct 9, 2014 13:41:43 GMT -5
It's still unneccessary violence. Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline. the bible also claims it's valid to stone rape victims to death. it's beyond outdated, to even try and reference it is a valid source for justification is a complete joke.
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Post by "The Perfect Ten" Mizard on Oct 9, 2014 13:53:33 GMT -5
It's still unneccessary violence. Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline.
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Post by Brad on Oct 9, 2014 14:04:48 GMT -5
Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline. the bible also claims it's valid to stone rape victims to death. it's beyond outdated, to even try and reference it is a valid source for justification is a complete joke. You have to compare the old testament to the new testament. The stoning that you are referencing was old testament law that did not carry over into the new covenant.
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Post by Brad on Oct 9, 2014 14:05:27 GMT -5
Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline. It clearly does. Go read it.
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Post by "The Perfect Ten" Mizard on Oct 9, 2014 14:24:40 GMT -5
It clearly does. Go read it. I'm not saying that it does not say such things but I don't agree in doing what an ancient book tells you to do. I'd like to think people can decide what is right or wrong by themselves without being dictated too by a book. Terrorists use such justifications as the one you used.
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Post by johnnyb on Oct 9, 2014 22:00:56 GMT -5
Bible thumpers can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
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Post by Halloween King on Oct 9, 2014 23:08:55 GMT -5
Not according to the bible. Proverbs 13:24 clearly mentions such form of discipline. the bible also claims it's valid to stone rape victims to death. it's beyond outdated, to even try and reference it is a valid source for justification is a complete joke. You know the thing is though that the Bible is based on much older stories. The Sumerians and the Hindus predate Christianity and they have very similar stories in their writings. So some might be quick to put down the bible but it was based in facts obviously. So while yes it may seem dated to you that does not mean it is untrue. Look at a VCR that seems out dated doesnt it? Yet you can pop in an educational video tape and still learn things. Sure we've moved on from VCRs and we've, for the most part, moved on from stoning people to death but that doesnt mean there is nothing to be learned there in.
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Post by Halloween King on Oct 9, 2014 23:13:29 GMT -5
I'm very passionate about my opinion on this topic and I feel that I need to express myself as fully and clearly as possible. No offense to anyone. And for what it's worth, I was spanked once as a child by my mother, and she has never forgiven herself even though I have. I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. It is an overly-aggressive scare tactic for parents who are unable or unwilling to appeal to their children intellectually. To me it is the equivalent of a mechanic trying to fix an engine by beating it with a sledgehammer. I liken it a lot to a former manager's (I use the term only because it was her title within the company) perspective: A boss is someone you hate; a manager is someone you fear; a leader is someone you respect and follow.If you spank your kids, it's because you are frustrated and upset and you want you to feel better. It's relieving anger, frustration, and aggression. Children are helpless physically against adults. Putting your hands on them is therapeutic to you but harmful to them. There is no excuse for terrifying a child, who is learning his or her place in the world. Just because your parents might have spanked you, and you might have turned out fine, doesn't mean it was right. Scientifically, there is no correlation between kids who were spanked as a kid and successful, well-adjusted adults. None. To be fair, there is also no correlation between kids who were NOT spanked and successful, well-adjusted adults. Do you know what that connection means? Spanking doesn't make a difference in the big picture. It makes you feel better because you get to relieve frustration. The children learn NOTHING of long-term value.And to those who say "Well in my day we had respect and discipline. Kids today are all stupid and lazy!" Guess what? Our grandparents used to say the exact same goddamn thing about our parents. And Our great-grandparents were saying the same thing about our grandparents. It's a boring meme to me, and 20 years from now it's going to be the same meaningless, ignorant meme to our kids. Whoever said it earlier said it much better and more concisely than I did: "If you can't discipline your kids without spanking them, DON'T HAVE KIDS." It also means they do not know either way. They do not know if spanking helps in a child's upbringing. They also do not know if it is detrimental. You can not use a study that concluded they did not know either way in favor of your stance on spanking.
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Post by k5 on Oct 9, 2014 23:46:20 GMT -5
the bible also claims it's valid to stone rape victims to death. it's beyond outdated, to even try and reference it is a valid source for justification is a complete joke. You know the thing is though that the Bible is based on much older stories. The Sumerians and the Hindus predate Christianity and they have very similar stories in their writings. So some might be quick to put down the bible but it was based in facts obviously. So while yes it may seem dated to you that does not mean it is untrue. Look at a VCR that seems out dated doesnt it? Yet you can pop in an educational video tape and still learn things. Sure we've moved on from VCRs and we've, for the most part, moved on from stoning people to death but that doesnt mean there is nothing to be learned there in. i would completely agree with that - i grew up in a christian household, and while i do not choose to any longer participate in that and haven't for years, i would never argue the value in many of the lessons and teachings throughout not just the bible, but most religions across the board. taking things literally when they're perhaps better viewed in context can be quite damaging though. a perfect example is the religious terrorists or the westboro baptist church. i don't think looking to the bible to see if it's okay or not to spank your kid is very thought out overall, but that's my opinion, and i understand others clearly feel differently...but for the sake of the child, does it not make sense to look into studies surrounding spanking? on a different note, it's fascinating to me that so many states' schools still employ a form of 'corporal punishment' upon children. that said, i guess it was only a decade ago here that we banned it...but yeesh, that's scary stuff.
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