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Post by mikey1974 on Oct 1, 2014 15:27:29 GMT -5
are you a parent? seriously,I'm curious. As I have stated in my other post I'm not but I was raised without my parents spanking me or anything like that and I turned out pretty good (without trying to come off as arrogant) so it's definitely possible to raise children without violence. I missed that. I certainly believe it is a possibility to raise them without any type of spanking, but sometimes it can unfortunately become necessary. it's a real fine line. but there sometimes will come a moment,no matter how well you raise your child, or how well behaved they usually are,that they decide they simply are NOT going to listen,no matter what you do,what you tell them,or what you take away from them. then it becomes a personal choice for each parent whether to spank or not to spank.
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Post by 0,Y on Oct 1, 2014 15:40:39 GMT -5
As I have stated in my other post I'm not but I was raised without my parents spanking me or anything like that and I turned out pretty good (without trying to come off as arrogant) so it's definitely possible to raise children without violence. I missed that. I certainly believe it is a possibility to raise them without any type of spanking, but sometimes it can unfortunately become necessary. it's a real fine line. but there sometimes will come a moment,no matter how well you raise your child, or how well behaved they usually are,that they decide they simply are NOT going to listen,no matter what you do,what you tell them,or what you take away from them. then it becomes a personal choice for each parent whether to spank or not to spank. Yeah I believe that it can be very frustrating when children go into stubborn-mode and I do agree that everyone should decide for themselves whether to spank their kid or not, it's just that I grew up without violence so if I ever have children I will not use violence because I don't think it's neccessary and I couldn't bring myself to spank them.
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Post by figurecollector on Oct 1, 2014 20:05:51 GMT -5
Just wait until you have a child who throws a screaming, rolling on the floor and kicking tantrum in a restaurant or store. You might change your mind.
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Oct 1, 2014 21:41:07 GMT -5
I wasn't spanked, I was whipped. My dad had a broken broom stick with 4 leather shoe laces clamped to it. We called it "the whip" and if we were bad, we felt the sting of it. 4 or 5 swats, enough to leave welts. I think having foreign parents had something to do with it as well. My dad's father was a prick who would beat all of his kids if he was in a bad mood. I shake my head when I hear parents say "You're going to get a time-out". Big whoop. What happens? The kid gets sent to his room where he can watch TV, use his computer or play video games. If you're not going to spank your kids for being bad or disrespectful, them make them do something they hate. I had a friend who used to misbehave. His dad wouldn't spank him. He'd take him to his room & make him pick out his favorite toy or instrument. Once he did, his dad would destroy it in front of him. He rarely acted up after that.I'll never have kids, but that's my business. Quite the unrelenting method, yet probably the best way to constitute obedience without unethical measures that i've heard so far. That's still a troubling concept in all things considered but it soars over the general census.
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Post by The Kevstaaa on Oct 1, 2014 21:49:55 GMT -5
I was a pretty good kid, but I got spanked when I deserved it. I feel it should be used if necessary, because all I see now are bratty, disrespectful, technology obsessed kids. Don't make your kid a punching bag but don't let them walk all over you. The world is too cushy now. Instead of letting a kid learn from their actions, they are given a gold star just like all the other kids. There is nothing more true than this.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2014 0:55:36 GMT -5
"I was in a car accident and I'm fine so everyone who is in a car accident turns out fine." Just because you're ok doesn't mean everyone else is. I wasn't spanked and I have no behavior or respect issues. I have plenty of issues but none of them come from not being spanked. Not being spanked makes people gay.
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Post by johnnyb on Oct 4, 2014 15:21:41 GMT -5
I'm very passionate about my opinion on this topic and I feel that I need to express myself as fully and clearly as possible. No offense to anyone. And for what it's worth, I was spanked once as a child by my mother, and she has never forgiven herself even though I have.
I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. It is an overly-aggressive scare tactic for parents who are unable or unwilling to appeal to their children intellectually. To me it is the equivalent of a mechanic trying to fix an engine by beating it with a sledgehammer.
I liken it a lot to a former manager's (I use the term only because it was her title within the company) perspective: A boss is someone you hate; a manager is someone you fear; a leader is someone you respect and follow.
If you spank your kids, it's because you are frustrated and upset and you want you to feel better. It's relieving anger, frustration, and aggression. Children are helpless physically against adults. Putting your hands on them is therapeutic to you but harmful to them. There is no excuse for terrifying a child, who is learning his or her place in the world. Just because your parents might have spanked you, and you might have turned out fine, doesn't mean it was right.
Scientifically, there is no correlation between kids who were spanked as a kid and successful, well-adjusted adults. None. To be fair, there is also no correlation between kids who were NOT spanked and successful, well-adjusted adults. Do you know what that connection means? Spanking doesn't make a difference in the big picture. It makes you feel better because you get to relieve frustration. The children learn NOTHING of long-term value.
And to those who say "Well in my day we had respect and discipline. Kids today are all stupid and lazy!" Guess what? Our grandparents used to say the exact same goddamn thing about our parents. And Our great-grandparents were saying the same thing about our grandparents. It's a boring meme to me, and 20 years from now it's going to be the same meaningless, ignorant meme to our kids.
Whoever said it earlier said it much better and more concisely than I did: "If you can't discipline your kids without spanking them, DON'T HAVE KIDS."
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Post by Mr Angry Cena on Oct 4, 2014 16:10:48 GMT -5
I'm very passionate about my opinion on this topic and I feel that I need to express myself as fully and clearly as possible. No offense to anyone. And for what it's worth, I was spanked once as a child by my mother, and she has never forgiven herself even though I have. I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. It is an overly-aggressive scare tactic for parents who are unable or unwilling to appeal to their children intellectually. To me it is the equivalent of a mechanic trying to fix an engine by beating it with a sledgehammer. I liken it a lot to a former manager's (I use the term only because it was her title within the company) perspective: A boss is someone you hate; a manager is someone you fear; a leader is someone you respect and follow.If you spank your kids, it's because you are frustrated and upset and you want you to feel better. It's relieving anger, frustration, and aggression. Children are helpless physically against adults. Putting your hands on them is therapeutic to you but harmful to them. There is no excuse for terrifying a child, who is learning his or her place in the world. Just because your parents might have spanked you, and you might have turned out fine, doesn't mean it was right. Scientifically, there is no correlation between kids who were spanked as a kid and successful, well-adjusted adults. None. To be fair, there is also no correlation between kids who were NOT spanked and successful, well-adjusted adults. Do you know what that connection means? Spanking doesn't make a difference in the big picture. It makes you feel better because you get to relieve frustration. The children learn NOTHING of long-term value.And to those who say "Well in my day we had respect and discipline. Kids today are all stupid and lazy!" Guess what? Our grandparents used to say the exact same goddamn thing about our parents. And Our great-grandparents were saying the same thing about our grandparents. It's a boring meme to me, and 20 years from now it's going to be the same meaningless, ignorant meme to our kids. Whoever said it earlier said it much better and more concisely than I did: "If you can't discipline your kids without spanking them, DON'T HAVE KIDS." You're very wrong and you shouldn't have kids.
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Post by ¡Twist Of Lime Green Jello! on Oct 4, 2014 16:29:14 GMT -5
I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. Thats a shame because I value your respect so much...
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Post by johnnyb on Oct 4, 2014 16:55:40 GMT -5
You're very wrong and you shouldn't have kids. I have two kids, ages 5 and 3. I have never spanked them. And guess what? They're normal, well-behaved kids! Maybe I should hit them to see if I can get at some of that untapped potential. I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. Thats a shame because I value your respect so much...
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Post by Brad on Oct 5, 2014 14:40:10 GMT -5
I'm very passionate about my opinion on this topic and I feel that I need to express myself as fully and clearly as possible. No offense to anyone. And for what it's worth, I was spanked once as a child by my mother, and she has never forgiven herself even though I have. I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. It is an overly-aggressive scare tactic for parents who are unable or unwilling to appeal to their children intellectually. To me it is the equivalent of a mechanic trying to fix an engine by beating it with a sledgehammer. I liken it a lot to a former manager's (I use the term only because it was her title within the company) perspective: A boss is someone you hate; a manager is someone you fear; a leader is someone you respect and follow.If you spank your kids, it's because you are frustrated and upset and you want you to feel better. It's relieving anger, frustration, and aggression. Children are helpless physically against adults. Putting your hands on them is therapeutic to you but harmful to them. There is no excuse for terrifying a child, who is learning his or her place in the world. Just because your parents might have spanked you, and you might have turned out fine, doesn't mean it was right. Scientifically, there is no correlation between kids who were spanked as a kid and successful, well-adjusted adults. None. To be fair, there is also no correlation between kids who were NOT spanked and successful, well-adjusted adults. Do you know what that connection means? Spanking doesn't make a difference in the big picture. It makes you feel better because you get to relieve frustration. The children learn NOTHING of long-term value.And to those who say "Well in my day we had respect and discipline. Kids today are all stupid and lazy!" Guess what? Our grandparents used to say the exact same goddamn thing about our parents. And Our great-grandparents were saying the same thing about our grandparents. It's a boring meme to me, and 20 years from now it's going to be the same meaningless, ignorant meme to our kids. Whoever said it earlier said it much better and more concisely than I did: "If you can't discipline your kids without spanking them, DON'T HAVE KIDS." You couldn't be more wrong. My nephew is 16 months old. You CANNOT "appeal intellectually" to a child that young. Therefore when he bites another child or throws his toys at then or gets into things he knows he shouldn't touch, he is spanked. Your stance on it implies that the adult is beating the child and being mean. And while that can be true in sadly a lot of cases, that does not make it the rule. As a child gets older and yoy can reason with them better it makes more sense to use different methods but that in its self doesn't make spanking wrong.
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Post by johnnyb on Oct 5, 2014 16:16:36 GMT -5
I'm very passionate about my opinion on this topic and I feel that I need to express myself as fully and clearly as possible. No offense to anyone. And for what it's worth, I was spanked once as a child by my mother, and she has never forgiven herself even though I have. I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. It is an overly-aggressive scare tactic for parents who are unable or unwilling to appeal to their children intellectually. To me it is the equivalent of a mechanic trying to fix an engine by beating it with a sledgehammer. I liken it a lot to a former manager's (I use the term only because it was her title within the company) perspective: A boss is someone you hate; a manager is someone you fear; a leader is someone you respect and follow.If you spank your kids, it's because you are frustrated and upset and you want you to feel better. It's relieving anger, frustration, and aggression. Children are helpless physically against adults. Putting your hands on them is therapeutic to you but harmful to them. There is no excuse for terrifying a child, who is learning his or her place in the world. Just because your parents might have spanked you, and you might have turned out fine, doesn't mean it was right. Scientifically, there is no correlation between kids who were spanked as a kid and successful, well-adjusted adults. None. To be fair, there is also no correlation between kids who were NOT spanked and successful, well-adjusted adults. Do you know what that connection means? Spanking doesn't make a difference in the big picture. It makes you feel better because you get to relieve frustration. The children learn NOTHING of long-term value.And to those who say "Well in my day we had respect and discipline. Kids today are all stupid and lazy!" Guess what? Our grandparents used to say the exact same goddamn thing about our parents. And Our great-grandparents were saying the same thing about our grandparents. It's a boring meme to me, and 20 years from now it's going to be the same meaningless, ignorant meme to our kids. Whoever said it earlier said it much better and more concisely than I did: "If you can't discipline your kids without spanking them, DON'T HAVE KIDS." You couldn't be more wrong. My nephew is 16 months old. You CANNOT "appeal intellectually" to a child that young. Therefore when he bites another child or throws his toys at then or gets into things he knows he shouldn't touch, he is spanked. Your stance on it implies that the adult is beating the child and being mean. And while that can be true in sadly a lot of cases, that does not make it the rule. As a child gets older and yoy can reason with them better it makes more sense to use different methods but that in its self doesn't make spanking wrong. It's this phenomenon called early childhood education. Seriously. Look it up. It's irresponsible and lazy parenting to assume that you can't reason with a toddler. Babies can communicate using different types of crying as early as three months. They can recognize speech patterns, understand commands, and begin to mimmick sounds as early as six months. I have an extremely hard time taking anyone seriously on this topic that has never been a full-time parent. It's clear that some people flat out do not understand how children operate.
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Post by Ben - #6 Munchie on Oct 5, 2014 17:01:09 GMT -5
Never have been and never would. Have grown up just fine without being physically struck by my parents, never been in any trouble with the police or anything of the sorts.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2014 19:38:39 GMT -5
I was a pretty good kid, but I got spanked when I deserved it. I feel it should be used if necessary, because all I see now are bratty, disrespectful, technology obsessed kids. Don't make your kid a punching bag but don't let them walk all over you. The world is too cushy now. Instead of letting a kid learn from their actions, they are given a gold star just like all the other kids. This is honestly what I would have posted. Honestly, I will probably spank my kids if/when I have them if I absolutely need too.
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Post by mikey1974 on Oct 5, 2014 20:17:59 GMT -5
I'm very passionate about my opinion on this topic and I feel that I need to express myself as fully and clearly as possible. No offense to anyone. And for what it's worth, I was spanked once as a child by my mother, and she has never forgiven herself even though I have. I have no respect for parents that spank their kids. It is an overly-aggressive scare tactic for parents who are unable or unwilling to appeal to their children intellectually. To me it is the equivalent of a mechanic trying to fix an engine by beating it with a sledgehammer. I liken it a lot to a former manager's (I use the term only because it was her title within the company) perspective: A boss is someone you hate; a manager is someone you fear; a leader is someone you respect and follow.If you spank your kids, it's because you are frustrated and upset and you want you to feel better. It's relieving anger, frustration, and aggression. Children are helpless physically against adults. Putting your hands on them is therapeutic to you but harmful to them. There is no excuse for terrifying a child, who is learning his or her place in the world. Just because your parents might have spanked you, and you might have turned out fine, doesn't mean it was right. Scientifically, there is no correlation between kids who were spanked as a kid and successful, well-adjusted adults. None. To be fair, there is also no correlation between kids who were NOT spanked and successful, well-adjusted adults. Do you know what that connection means? Spanking doesn't make a difference in the big picture. It makes you feel better because you get to relieve frustration. The children learn NOTHING of long-term value.And to those who say "Well in my day we had respect and discipline. Kids today are all stupid and lazy!" Guess what? Our grandparents used to say the exact same goddamn thing about our parents. And Our great-grandparents were saying the same thing about our grandparents. It's a boring meme to me, and 20 years from now it's going to be the same meaningless, ignorant meme to our kids. Whoever said it earlier said it much better and more concisely than I did: "If you can't discipline your kids without spanking them, DON'T HAVE KIDS." I really could care less if you respect me or not. but it's quite pompously arrogant of you to tell me what my reasons are for having spanked a child in the past, and that it was somehow "therapeutic" for me,much less making this presumption for any other parent,both on and off this forum,who has ever felt the need to spank a child. so excuse me if I do take offense by you making a predetermined statement that you not only know me,but know my motivations and feelings. others on this board have voiced their opinions on this subject,and have done so in a way that both acknowledges and doesn't disrespect the counterview to their own personal opinions,cause this really is a subject that depends on a person's own viewpoints and feelings. but since you have decided you know what's going on in the heads of any parent who has decided to spank a child,I guess the discussion is supposed to be closed.
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Post by johnnyb on Oct 5, 2014 20:24:42 GMT -5
Like I said, I'm passionate about this... sorry if you're offended.
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Post by The Yes Man on Oct 5, 2014 20:26:18 GMT -5
Anyone who says you spank a child to make yourself feel better is just plain wrong.
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Post by mikey1974 on Oct 5, 2014 20:30:58 GMT -5
Like I said, I'm passionate about this... sorry if you're offended. that's fine,and you're certainly entitled to your opinion. not saying that you're not. just that making generalized comments that ANY parent who has ever spanked a child - and that includes me - is doing so to relieve their own anger and frustration,is an irresponsible and lazy parent ,are not deserving of any respect ,and should not have kids is a hell of an offensive series of statements to make ,especially when you are not in that specific parent's situation or dealing with that person's specific children.
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Post by johnnyb on Oct 5, 2014 21:18:11 GMT -5
I respect your right to your own opinion. And with that said...
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Post by Brunt's Left Foot on Oct 6, 2014 12:05:57 GMT -5
I have a 2 and a half-year-old nephew who I look after quite often. Not once has it ever crossed my mind to spank him when he misbehaves. To be fair he's pretty well behaved anyway but if he does do something bad, I get him to make eye contact with me and I tell him in a firm voice not to do what he's doing and why he shouldn't. I also often bring it back to him and ask him if he'd like it if someone did that to him.
Someone earlier in this thread said that you can't reason with kids on an intellectual level but I haven't found that to be true. At least not with my nephew. He listens to me and I can see by the look on his face that he understands what I'm trying to get across to him.
And for the record, I was never spanked. It's not common in the UK. It's more likely you'll get a slipper to the arse, not hard but just enough to make you go "Ow, what was that for?". My Dad only did that a couple of times though and it never affected me badly.
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