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Post by Halloween King on Sept 29, 2014 21:33:41 GMT -5
I was just watching a news report. On the report a man spoke about how the recent NFL scandal brought back pain full childhood memories of abuse. The man went on to talk about how his parents where both alcoholics so they would hit/spank their kids.
So that got me thinking, at what point does spanking become abuse?
With the NFL case the player actually tore the flesh of his child from hitting the child with a "switch" or stick. I just wonder if the player's intent was to make the child bleed or if the player just went over board?
So I wonder do you, the parents on these forums, spank your children? Or if you arent a parent, were you spanked? At what point is it no longer discipline? Is spanking in general just considered abuse now?
Growing up I had a younger brother so I would fight with my brother, as siblings do, pretty often. Most times he would go crying to my mom and I'd be on the receiving end of being hit with a shoe. My mom would usually reach for her shoe and give me a whack on the tush. I never considered it abuse though. I would take it as a sign that I was doing something wrong and needed to stop what I was doing. I like to think I grew to be an ok adult, I've never done anything illegal, and have always had a job.
I look at my cousin, a girl. She would rarely be disciplined every now and then. She was rarely disciplined because my cousin developed this notion where the slightest discipline was abuse. She would get yelled at and I remember my cousin would say she was going to call the police and report child abuse. As a result my aunt and uncle would rarely discipline her. These days my cousin has rarely held a job, she's shacked up with a number of different men, and is a heavy pot smoker who has had run ins with the law.
Me and my cousin are about a month apart in age, so I often wonder if the lack of discipline is what caused my cousin to turn out the way she did.
I say this but then I wonder if I could ever bring myself to spanking/disciplining my son.
So what about you all? What are you views on spanking/discipline?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 21:49:45 GMT -5
I was a pretty good kid, but I got spanked when I deserved it.
I feel it should be used if necessary, because all I see now are bratty, disrespectful, technology obsessed kids.
Don't make your kid a punching bag but don't let them walk all over you.
The world is too cushy now. Instead of letting a kid learn from their actions, they are given a gold star just like all the other kids.
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Post by Brad on Sept 29, 2014 22:23:45 GMT -5
I got spanked when I deserved it and will do the same with my kids
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 23:03:23 GMT -5
I don't get how people can say it's not child abuse. You're hitting your kid .. It doesn't matter if it's not a closed fist, you're still striking your child and causing them pain
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 23:03:35 GMT -5
I never got spanked as a kid but I'd spank that ass if I was a parent.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 23:10:13 GMT -5
Many souls will be lost upon this thread. It installs discomfort and is punishable by a troubling reality. I'm sorry, but I feel that our society has devolved far much into a comfortable, politically correct, cushy, everyone's a winner type of mentality. I didn't get spanked past 8. Why? Because I was a respectful and well behaved kid for the most part. I just think that parents are too afraid to parent and their kids are turning out horrible. I know "kids will be kids" but the increased narcissism caused by social media doesn't help. Call me crazy, fine, I've been called much worse.
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Sept 29, 2014 23:15:42 GMT -5
Many souls will be lost upon this thread. It installs discomfort and is punishable by a troubling reality. I'm sorry, but I feel that our society has devolved far much into a comfortable, politically correct, cushy, everyone's a winner type of mentality. I didn't get spanked past 8. Why? Because I was a respectful and well behaved kid for the most part. I just think that parents are too afraid to parent and their kids are turning out horrible. I know "kids will be kids" but the increased narcissism caused by social media doesn't help. Call me crazy, fine, I've been called much worse. The semantic behind this ideology created to structure children at a young age hasn't shown any form of reputable results from what i've observed. Upbringings doesn't necessarily determine rational.
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Post by Darkhawk on Sept 29, 2014 23:16:28 GMT -5
I got spanked when I was kid cuz I did some pretty bad things. As I got older I became well behaved on my own and knew right from wrong. I think kids need to get spank every now and then you can't let them walk all over you. It doesn't look good if your parent, if only I had a dollar for every time a kid gave their parent a hard time in the store in front of everybody. It's embarrassing, so control your kid.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 23:18:47 GMT -5
I'm sorry, but I feel that our society has devolved far much into a comfortable, politically correct, cushy, everyone's a winner type of mentality. I didn't get spanked past 8. Why? Because I was a respectful and well behaved kid for the most part. I just think that parents are too afraid to parent and their kids are turning out horrible. I know "kids will be kids" but the increased narcissism caused by social media doesn't help. Call me crazy, fine, I've been called much worse. The semantic behind this ideology created to structure children at a young age hasn't any form of reputable results from what i've observed. I think when humans are born, they are a blank canvas. Their life experiences and how they make their decisions determines how beautiful the painting turns out, but the painting needs an artist of skill to fully realize the paintings true potential. If that makes any sense.
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Post by /X Metal Sorenges x "Mac Oh J~ on Sept 29, 2014 23:28:11 GMT -5
The semantic behind this ideology created to structure children at a young age hasn't any form of reputable results from what i've observed. I think when humans are born, they are a blank canvas. Their life experiences and how they make their decisions determines how beautiful the painting turns out, but the painting needs an artist of skill to fully realize the paintings true potential. If that makes any sense. Ultimately it's the individuals decision weither they wish to abide by the standard in which is set forth for them. Guidance can only do so much which appears insufficient in some cases. Look at my previous post if you will Saint, I added additional words of thought that encompasses my entire thought without complexity holding reign.
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Post by BØRNS on Sept 29, 2014 23:39:25 GMT -5
yes
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Post by BoJack Hogan on Sept 30, 2014 0:04:10 GMT -5
I smack a kid in the mouth if they talked back, because that works. I wouldn't Benoit the kid or anything though.
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Post by slappy on Sept 30, 2014 0:08:49 GMT -5
My dad was spanked and hit as a kid and he made a promise to himself that he would never do that to his kids.
He kept his word. He never once laid a finger on us.
Of course, verbal/emotional stuff is different but there was no physical abuse.
I was not spanked, I would not spank. It is abuse.
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Post by Self-Savior on Sept 30, 2014 0:23:55 GMT -5
I was spanked when I deserved it and will spank my kids when they deserve it too.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2014 0:28:31 GMT -5
Spanking is a last resort and I always feel bad when I do it, but sometimes I have to. Like when my son wouldn't stop trying to stick things in the light socket, I figured a quick whap on the butt (not hard enough to bruise or anything) was far better than electrocution.
Basically, I think it's abuse when a parent uses it as a usual means of discipline or causes actual damage. And the spanking is honestly far worse for me than him. He gets over it in 10 seconds, I feel terrible about it for at least an hour.
Also, I think spanking for ages 2 and under shouldn't necessarily be in this discussion. When they're young to where they don't understand language, sometimes a spank will save their life, and, as psychological studies show, spanking causes much less psychological effects than yelling at a child at an earlier age.
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Post by Focalin on Sept 30, 2014 0:31:31 GMT -5
I was spanked as a kid and I deserved it, I was SUCH a trouble maker.
I was spanked as an adult, I wasn't a fan of it, but she was
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2014 0:32:21 GMT -5
I was spanked as a kid and I deserved it, I was SUCH a trouble maker. I was spanked as an adult, I wasn't a fan of it, but she was Just make your kids listen to Nine Inch Nails, that's bad enough. I kid, but ya know, Manson fans and NIN fans have to feud.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2014 0:38:47 GMT -5
I got spanked when I was kid cuz I did some pretty bad things. As I got older I became well behaved on my own and knew right from wrong. I think kids need to get spank every now and then you can't let them walk all over you. It doesn't look good if your parent, if only I had a dollar for every time a kid gave their parent a hard time in the store in front of everybody. It's embarrassing, so control your kid. You have no idea how hard parenthood is. If it were as easy as just controlling your kid, there would be no such thing as bad kids. Just like you're probably not fun to be around when you're in a bad mood, the same goes with kids, only they don't know how to control their emotions. Yes, there are parents that don't do anything, but I can assure you that at least 50% of those parents are doing everything they can, and those kids who are "embarrassing" are just being bungholes. Because that's the thing, kids are inherrently lying, scheming bungholes who will do whatever it takes to get their way, and the stubborn ones don't care if you discipline them or not. And, for the record, even the brattiest kid can also be a complete sweetheart. What you see in a kid in a store is just a moment of life, so don't write an entire person off because you've seen one tiny speck of their life.
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Post by Duck Holliday on Sept 30, 2014 0:47:25 GMT -5
Spanking is a last resort and I always feel bad when I do it, but sometimes I have to. Like when my son wouldn't stop trying to stick things in the light socket, I figured a quick whap on the butt (not hard enough to bruise or anything) was far better than electrocution. Basically, I think it's abuse when a parent uses it as a usual means of discipline or causes actual damage. And the spanking is honestly far worse for me than him. He gets over it in 10 seconds, I feel terrible about it for at least an hour. Also, I think spanking for ages 2 and under shouldn't necessarily be in this discussion. When they're young to where they don't understand language, sometimes a spank will save their life, and, as psychological studies show, spanking causes much less psychological effects than yelling at a child at an earlier age. this. Pretty much covers my feelings.
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Post by k5 on Sept 30, 2014 0:51:35 GMT -5
scaring/hurting someone isn't a proper form of conditioning. it can cause trauma and lasting mental issues.
and this isn't 1995, at this point it is well known that people from all walks of life smoke pot.
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