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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 1:04:29 GMT -5
That seems to be true... I've seen hours of footage that can back that up
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 1:50:14 GMT -5
Never gets old.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 2:14:14 GMT -5
Sounds like me as a child, I used to have a stuttering problem lol
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 2:38:43 GMT -5
Banter's dead tonight, so here's a joke I never got to tell on stage:
"By a round of applause, how many of you are quadriplegic?"
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 2:41:25 GMT -5
Ha.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 2:55:44 GMT -5
I'm not sure if that was sarcasm or not.
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 3:05:35 GMT -5
Nah. It was funny. I see now the "ha" does lend itself to sarcasm.
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 3:05:55 GMT -5
Anyone got any tattoos? I don't
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 3:06:19 GMT -5
Not yet
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 3:06:44 GMT -5
May get one eventually
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 3:07:39 GMT -5
I've done a little improve and a tiny bit of acting (school stuff, friend's films), but standup is such a hard skill.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 3:07:54 GMT -5
I want to get tattoos, but I'm too noncommittal to figure out something I'd want on me permanently. Plus, I'd probably pass our during the process.
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 3:07:59 GMT -5
What are you you thinking about? |
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 3:08:32 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 3:08:47 GMT -5
What are you you thinking about?  |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 3:10:51 GMT -5
I've done a little improve and a tiny bit of acting (school stuff, friend's films), but standup is such a hard skill. Yeah, I wasn't cut out for stand-up. I love writing comedy, though. Here's a longer one: I was just about to finish giving my son a bath, when he stands up, starts bouncing, and I see a shadow fall. I’m thinking, “That didn’t just happen, did it?” But, it did. And, there it was, right under him, a perfectly shaped, smooth bite-sized crap. I panic for about half a second, but then my natural paternal instincts kick in. I scoop him out the tub, hold him over the tub, as far away from my body as I can, just in case, and do exactly what every other father would do in this situation: I call for my wife.
She runs in, sees the scene, grabs a handful of toilet paper, and removes the turd from the tub. If I had been alone, I would have taken my son out, put his clothes on, drained the tub, and hoped that it went down the drain. And, if it didn’t, and she came home and saw the scene of the crime, I’d say, “I don’t know. It must have been the dog.”
And that’s the story of how I found out that my wife is not only a better parent than I am, but also a better person. |
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 3:27:25 GMT -5
I've done a little improve and a tiny bit of acting (school stuff, friend's films), but standup is such a hard skill. Yeah, I wasn't cut out for stand-up. I love writing comedy, though. Here's a longer one: I was just about to finish giving my son a bath, when he stands up, starts bouncing, and I see a shadow fall. I’m thinking, “That didn’t just happen, did it?” But, it did. And, there it was, right under him, a perfectly shaped, smooth bite-sized crap. I panic for about half a second, but then my natural paternal instincts kick in. I scoop him out the tub, hold him over the tub, as far away from my body as I can, just in case, and do exactly what every other father would do in this situation: I call for my wife.
She runs in, sees the scene, grabs a handful of toilet paper, and removes the turd from the tub. If I had been alone, I would have taken my son out, put his clothes on, drained the tub, and hoped that it went down the drain. And, if it didn’t, and she came home and saw the scene of the crime, I’d say, “I don’t know. It must have been the dog.”
And that’s the story of how I found out that my wife is not only a better parent than I am, but also a better person.  I can see this one delivered in a really funny way. I've considered many tattoos... some ideas have stuck with me for a long time, but the idea of how permanent is still just a little intimidating. |
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Post by Duck Holliday on Jan 10, 2014 3:31:36 GMT -5
What are you you thinking about? Misfits right? Honestly the only band related thing I'd possibly get would be a Zeppelin or Pink Floyd thing, maybe Iron Maiden or a White Stripes reference. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 4:18:28 GMT -5
^yep
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2014 5:09:25 GMT -5
When I worked at Best Buy, everyone was naming songs that represented the story of their lives. At that point, a random customer started singing, "Well, it's the Big Show. It's a big, bad show tonight." I claimed it as my song.
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