|
Post by Nivro™ on Aug 14, 2016 5:43:46 GMT -5
Of course you have..we all have. I did something this past week that has just been eating me up. Ill apologize ahead of time for letting it out here but there really isn't anyone I can vent to... So Ive been seeing this girl for a few months now. Everything has been perfect until the last couple weeks. She seemed "distant" to me. Ive asked her a few times if everything was o.k. and if we were all good and she said yes. So this past week we went on a little get away. Its been planned for over a month and I figured, hey maybe this will kinda get the distant feeling away. Sadly after the first night it seemed to just get worse. If we were out & about everything was fine but as soon as we got into the hotel room that night it was like the silent treatment. Hardly anything was said. When she went to take a shower I noticed she left her phone on the table. I knew not to pick it up. Its wrong, and invasion of privacy and you don't know if you're gonna like what you find out. So I checked her messages and she had a few from her ex. I don't find that a big deal because they do have a kid together but he was sending a lot of sexual memes to her. In her defense she never once responded to them in the same manner. She's pretty much disgusted with the guy but he's having a hard time letting go so I know in that sense she's innocent. Then I checked her only other messages and found a guy that was very overly flirty with her. Now I only had a brief time to skim things but she was never really flirty back. He would say something that I personally feel you shouldn't say to someone with a boyfriend and she would just send like a smiling emoji or something. She never really flirted back. The last thing I checked before I put her phone up was her image gallery. That's where I kinda felt the gut punch. While its mostly what I expected, there were a couple of "pictures" she had taken. (I wont go into further detail on what type...use your imagination). I checked to see when they were taken and it was during this 2 week period where she was distant. Now there were no texts in her messages with those pics sent but I also did receive those pics either...So now I'm wondering, who did? I cant imagine that someone would just take those kinds of pics and not share them, right? I really don't feel that she's cheating (physically) because she doesn't have people over at night if her daughter is home (not even me) and any night she's not had her she's been with me (that I can recall) so could it be "innocent" flirting over text? So with all that being said now I'm feeling the double whammy. I did something I never wanted to do (checking her phone) and I feel so guilty about it and then on top of that I find what I really didn't want to find so now that's eating at me too. I cant confront her because I'm technically in the wrong for going through her phone but now I'm just sitting here not knowing what to do. The last night in the hotel I couldn't even sleep in the same bed as her. We didn't talk or touch each other the whole night. The car ride home was awkwardly silence. She knew something was wrong but I don't think she knows what I know. Since we've been back home (we have separate houses). Ive refused to text her (first) for anything. I will only text her in response to her texting me and usually I keep it brief. There was good morning/night texts every single day (whoever woke up first usually sent first) we've been together and the past 3-4 days its nothing more then a simple "hey" about mid afternoon. Now I'm really kinda bummed this relationship is kaput. So back to the topic, did you ever do anything you later regretted and if so, how did you deal with it?
|
|
Deleted
Joined on: Sept 27, 2024 14:03:46 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 6:25:47 GMT -5
We all make mistakes, the only way to get past them is to admit you did wrong and make yourself a better person by learning from it.
As to your problem, it'll be awkward but I'd say, just be honest. Ask her to tell you what's going on, and try to fix it. If not, move on.
|
|
Deleted
Joined on: Sept 27, 2024 14:03:46 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 6:50:16 GMT -5
I could write 500 things that I regret doing. 470 of those things involve alcohol in some fashion. But the thing that I regret the most, and still to now 7 years on, is when I dumped my girlfriend at the time because I thought I had fallen for someone else. Spoiler: I hadn't, my penis tricked me. Her photos pop up on my Instagram feed every once in a while since some mates still like her photos etc. Everything I see her beautiful ing face it's time to go visit my trusty mate Jack Daniels. Seriously regretted dumping her every day for the past 7 years. And I have had 25'ish girlfriends in that time and none really compare to her and it is making my life ing miserable. She legit had everything, looks, cooking, well spoken, just a caring person, fantastic personality, she loved RHCP and Arsenal. She was the kinda woman who'd do those things that you dream about, without having any knowledge that it was what you wanted. Legit the most perfect human being I have ever encountered. And I ed that up big time. So pro tip: Never ever trust your penis.
|
|
|
Post by BrIaNMeRcY on Aug 14, 2016 6:54:46 GMT -5
I have been though so many of those in my life. I have mentioned it here in the past but is worth repeating. Back in 2011, I met a Irish/Greek woman in college. When I first met her, it was love at first sight. I took it upon myself to talk to her and getting to know her. We exchanged numbers and subsequently become "friends." When it came time to take it to the next level, she ended up rejecting me and putting me in the friend zone. How did I deal with it, I told her the only way I'll talk to you is only if you are my girlfriend. I refuse to be put into the friend zone. 'Cause of her, I have since developed severe trust issues with women.
Nowadays, I have became more and more comfortable accepting I am single. I won't let what happened to me ever happen again.
|
|
|
Post by Dex on Aug 14, 2016 9:30:36 GMT -5
You shouldn't regret that Nivro. You're better knowing, might as well throw out that perfect woman fantasy before you end up getting burnt.
|
|
|
Post by K5 on Aug 14, 2016 9:37:46 GMT -5
lots of women issues in this thread! i'll add to em i cheated on the only girl that i ever had a stable/healthy relationship with. every other person i've ever seen seems to just not be any where near her level when it comes to human compassion and emotional maturity. biggest up of my life. but i was 18, scared about the idea of loving someone who i knew i wouldn't be able to hold onto, and also in denial of just how much i loved her. it was a big public mess when it came out that i'd been unfaithful, and her family/friends (rightfully) exiled me from her life the best they could. unfortunately, to a lot of them i appeared as they'd always considered me: a thread to her well being. that was the ultimate failure in it all, other than losing her. we literally did not see each other at all for a few years, and i tried to talk to her then at a bar. we were having decent conversation, before a boyfriend of her younger sister's came over and decided we'd been talking long enough. he was a big hockey player fighter type, and words quickly turned to blows when he attacked me and started laying in pretty devastating shots to my face/head. before i knew what was going on, i pushed out with both hands towards the direction of the blows. unfortunately, one of my hands was still holding onto the pint glass i'd been drinking from...resulting in completely smashing this guy's face with the glass and leaving him on the floor. my initial reaction was shock/worry for his well being. ended up getting arrested, charged for assault causing bodily harm, and proven guilty. had to serve one year on house arrest with maximum conditions and 2 years probation. only reason i didn't get self defense and was found guilty? the bar owner where the incident happened claimed that i'd attacked him out of cold blood and hadn't been hit beforehand...effectively throwing me under the bus while defending his bar's reputation (a bar is supposed to break up a fight quickly, by the time my glass was thrown it had been going on for a duration). cut a tendon in my hand during the incident too and lost some of my right index finger's function. do i regret the glass incident though? no, as i did not intentionally harm him and was only trying to defend myself. but it shows how something went from bad (me losing the only girl i'd truly loved thus far in my life) to worse (incrimination, being labeled as violent, house arrest, the damage of arrested development as a result of inactivity in years where most others are getting their life together). what i regret is the initial cheating...it was a weak decision.
|
|
|
Post by ~*Young $ Money*~ on Aug 14, 2016 10:21:17 GMT -5
We all do things we regret. It's part of life. I have my fair share of things I regret in the women for too.
If I was you question her about it. Ask her in an indirect way if she ever took pics or sent pics to some guy. Just don't let her know you know about those that you saw. It may be better to just move on. Why bother going crazy over a girl who flirts with everyone and gives everyone attention? Nothing gets on my nerves more.
|
|
|
Post by Grumpyoldman on Aug 14, 2016 12:34:44 GMT -5
I could write 500 things that I regret doing. 470 of those things involve alcohol in some fashion. But the thing that I regret the most, and still to now 7 years on, is when I dumped my girlfriend at the time because I thought I had fallen for someone else. Spoiler: I hadn't, my penis tricked me. Her photos pop up on my Instagram feed every once in a while since some mates still like her photos etc. Everything I see her beautiful ing face it's time to go visit my trusty mate Jack Daniels. Seriously regretted dumping her every day for the past 7 years. And I have had 25'ish girlfriends in that time and none really compare to her and it is making my life ing miserable. She legit had everything, looks, cooking, well spoken, just a caring person, fantastic personality, she loved RHCP and Arsenal. She was the kinda woman who'd do those things that you dream about, without having any knowledge that it was what you wanted. Legit the most perfect human being I have ever encountered. And I ed that up big time. So pro tip: Never ever trust your penis. Very sad. Are you on speaking terms with her? Any chance of you both getting back together again?
|
|
Deleted
Joined on: Sept 27, 2024 14:03:46 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2016 12:59:52 GMT -5
I could write 500 things that I regret doing. 470 of those things involve alcohol in some fashion. But the thing that I regret the most, and still to now 7 years on, is when I dumped my girlfriend at the time because I thought I had fallen for someone else. Spoiler: I hadn't, my penis tricked me. Her photos pop up on my Instagram feed every once in a while since some mates still like her photos etc. Everything I see her beautiful ing face it's time to go visit my trusty mate Jack Daniels. Seriously regretted dumping her every day for the past 7 years. And I have had 25'ish girlfriends in that time and none really compare to her and it is making my life ing miserable. She legit had everything, looks, cooking, well spoken, just a caring person, fantastic personality, she loved RHCP and Arsenal. She was the kinda woman who'd do those things that you dream about, without having any knowledge that it was what you wanted. Legit the most perfect human being I have ever encountered. And I ed that up big time. So pro tip: Never ever trust your penis. Very sad. Are you on speaking terms with her? Any chance of you both getting back together again? Haven't spoken to her in 5 years maybe? Seen her at a few parties but she has quite the stone face when it comes to me. As for us getting back together, I highly doubt that. She is all fancy, wearing £400 dresses to work etc. I keep my £5 shoes together with duct tape. We are completely different nowadays. And my mate told me she basically lives in a mansion nowadays. I live in a low rent apartment with naked girls all over the walls and empty cans all over. So I truly don't see us ever even interacting again. I'm sure my regret will slowly eat me up from the inside eventually. I hope so atleast.
|
|
|
Post by Patrick Bateman (original) on Aug 14, 2016 15:14:42 GMT -5
I was with an my girlfriend (at the time) and we hooked up, she went to take a shower and I hooked up with her best friend while she was showering. The right thing to do would of had a threesome. I felt like crap, and she moved across the country because of what I did. Her and I are cool now, I have a wife and 2 children, she has a long term boyfriend.
|
|
|
Post by ~*Young $ Money*~ on Aug 14, 2016 15:14:53 GMT -5
Very sad. Are you on speaking terms with her? Any chance of you both getting back together again? Haven't spoken to her in 5 years maybe? Seen her at a few parties but she has quite the stone face when it comes to me. As for us getting back together, I highly doubt that. She is all fancy, wearing £400 dresses to work etc. I keep my £5 shoes together with duct tape. We are completely different nowadays. And my mate told me she basically lives in a mansion nowadays. I live in a low rent apartment with naked girls all over the walls and empty cans all over. So I truly don't see us ever even interacting again. I'm sure my regret will slowly eat me up from the inside eventually. I hope so atleast. Just go for it man. At this point what do you have to lose? Next time u see her pull her aside and say you wanna talk. Apologize for how you were and tell her you were young and stupid and still have feelings for her. Tell her you wanna try and take it slow maybe and see what happens. Worse that happens is she says no and you're right back staring st those posters in your room
|
|
|
Post by ~*Young $ Money*~ on Aug 14, 2016 15:15:34 GMT -5
I was with an my girlfriend (at the time) and we hooked up, she went to take a shower and I hooked up with her best friend while she was showering. The right thing to do would of had a threesome. I felt like crap, and she moved across the country because of what I did. Her and I are cool now, I have a wife and 2 children, she has a long term boyfriend. You turned down a threesome to just hook up with her friend?
|
|
|
Post by Patrick Bateman (original) on Aug 14, 2016 15:19:27 GMT -5
I was with an my girlfriend (at the time) and we hooked up, she went to take a shower and I hooked up with her best friend while she was showering. The right thing to do would of had a threesome. I felt like crap, and she moved across the country because of what I did. Her and I are cool now, I have a wife and 2 children, she has a long term boyfriend. You turned down a threesome to just hook up with her friend? Nope, I didn't know they would be down for it, until it was to late. Although I should have known. There was some hanky Panky going on under the sheets between us 3. 😭
|
|
|
Post by ~*Young $ Money*~ on Aug 14, 2016 15:20:46 GMT -5
You turned down a threesome to just hook up with her friend? Nope, I didn't know they would be down for it, until it was to late. Although I should have known. There was some hanky Panky going on under the sheets between us 3. 😭 Damn. That's a rough one lol
|
|
|
Post by Patrick Bateman (original) on Aug 14, 2016 15:22:01 GMT -5
Nope, I didn't know they would be down for it, until it was to late. Although I should have known. There was some hanky Panky going on under the sheets between us 3. 😭 Damn. That's a rough one lol You're telling me. I still regret it. Lol
|
|
darkestknight
Superstar
Joined on: Dec 8, 2015 15:34:35 GMT -5
Posts: 528
|
Post by darkestknight on Aug 14, 2016 15:22:28 GMT -5
I also am a phone snooper. I love my fiancé, but I've read old messages of hers, and some parts of her past I'm very uncomfortable with. So yes, I regret going through her phone, only because the image of her I had in my head has been slightly tarnished.
|
|
|
Post by ~*Young $ Money*~ on Aug 14, 2016 15:22:47 GMT -5
Damn. That's a rough one lol You're telling me. I still regret it. Lol Can't say I blame you on that one.
|
|
|
Post by Nivro™ on Aug 14, 2016 15:59:17 GMT -5
I have been though so many of those in my life. I have mentioned it here in the past but is worth repeating. Back in 2011, I met a Irish/Greek woman in college. When I first met her, it was love at first sight. I took it upon myself to talk to her and getting to know her. We exchanged numbers and subsequently become "friends." When it came time to take it to the next level, she ended up rejecting me and putting me in the friend zone. How did I deal with it, I told her the only way I'll talk to you is only if you are my girlfriend. I refuse to be put into the friend zone. 'Cause of her, I have since developed severe trust issues with women. Nowadays, I have became more and more comfortable accepting I am single. I won't let what happened to me ever happen again. I have really bad trust issues as well (obviously). Ive been burned many times in the past. Obviously its not her fault that someone else burned me and I should treat everyone as their own...Its just hard. I was pretty set on being single and just having flings but I thought this might be different. I guess Im just as much at fault by not trusting my instincts and letting my guard down and catching the feels.
|
|
|
Post by slappy on Aug 14, 2016 16:27:43 GMT -5
Just my whole first relationship. Never should have gotten involved.
He was terrible.
Years later he said he forgives me for breaking up with him. He forgives me after all the craphe did? No, you don't get to say I caused you any pain by breaking up with you. You were an bunghole the entire time. You should be the one begging me to forgive you.
|
|
|
Post by BrIaNMeRcY on Aug 14, 2016 16:33:58 GMT -5
I have been though so many of those in my life. I have mentioned it here in the past but is worth repeating. Back in 2011, I met a Irish/Greek woman in college. When I first met her, it was love at first sight. I took it upon myself to talk to her and getting to know her. We exchanged numbers and subsequently become "friends." When it came time to take it to the next level, she ended up rejecting me and putting me in the friend zone. How did I deal with it, I told her the only way I'll talk to you is only if you are my girlfriend. I refuse to be put into the friend zone. 'Cause of her, I have since developed severe trust issues with women. Nowadays, I have became more and more comfortable accepting I am single. I won't let what happened to me ever happen again. I have really bad trust issues as well (obviously). Ive been burned many times in the past. Obviously its not her fault that someone else burned me and I should treat everyone as their own...Its just hard. I was pretty set on being single and just having flings but I thought this might be different. I guess Im just as much at fault by not trusting my instincts and letting my guard down and catching the feels. The fortunate part of it it we are not alone. I got tired of being played dirty by women. I try to turn that negative into a positive. Given what I am dealing with right now, I can't have additional things on my plate. I am going to let this out there 'cause is pisses me off to no end. One recent regret I have is being a volunteer at the 9/11 Memorial and Museum as a Retail Greeter. When I saw they weren't going to hire me, I cut my losses. I also told the supervisor's and people in their corporate office that I had it. If you want me here, hire me. Yet, they hired three other people I volunteered with. A white dude, a Chinese and a Filipino woman. When I saw that, my blood was boiling to a point nothing could calm me down. One of the hiring supervisors told me there wasn't any openings. Which was a lie considering the turnover rate they seem to have. Not to mention, while I was a volunteer, one of the supervisors would always be a bitch to me. Shame they don't have any backbone. Given what I know about the old and new World Trade Center, it is their loss for not hiring me there. I bet they regret it now. Considering one Sunday, I singlehandedly made them five grand in sales in a three hour period.
|
|