Paul London: Please Don't Die- TV Tapings Up!

Dates for Diary
September 18th- TNA Impact
September 25th- TNA Impact
September 28th- PWA PPV ‘It Came from Japan’
October 2nd- TNA Impact
October 9th- TNA Impact
October 11th- TNA Bound for Glory Fan Fest
October 12th- TNA Bound for Glory PPV

TNA Impact (3)
I look over to my watch, SH*T I was supposed to be at TNA over an hour ago! They will probably start taping soon and I’m stuck here…in this freaking elevator! Yes a elevator in a WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut. I tried pushing the button and jumping up and down but nothing I’m trapped so I’m now stuck in this shiney lift while the tapings are going on.

As I lay there in the lift over in Orlando, Florida TNA starts up with Kaz coming out trying to beat his losing streak he laughs at his opponent as the camera catches him say “Is this all?” before the match starts.

Match 1: Sharkboy def. Kaz
Kaz went straight for Sharkboy and kicked him back with some knees and into the corner were he hits the monkey flip but after a few more moves Sharkboy rolls Kaz up for the win.

Kaz stays on the floor shocked at another loss, nearly in tears Kaz picks up a microphone.

Kaz: That’s it! I’m done! I can’t even beat freaking Sharkboy! Goodbye everybody you wouldn’t be seeing me here again.

Kaz puts his head down and goes to leave when Jim Cornette comes out.

Jim: Kaz I know that your having some bad luck but your talented you just need to get that one win to put you back on track. How about one match at Bound For Glory, I’ll find the opponent.

Kaz nods his head and walks up the ramp as Cornette taps him on the back. But still while all this is happening I’m stuck in a lift then. ‘Stay still someone is coming to get you’ shouts from the control panel. I’m not going to make it to Impact on time its to far away then, RING RING, RING RING

London: Hello?
Sabin: Dude were the hell are you?
London: Stuck in a freaking lift!
Sabin: Were dude I’ll get someone to pick you up
London: Ughh it an’t that simple
Sabin: Like how?
London: Like I’m in WWE Headquarters
Sabin: What the…Oh I got it going back to the ‘E eh?
London: No, No
Sabin: Well screw you then!

Sabin hangs up as I fall to the floor in the lift.

Voice: Sorry about the wait, seems as if the rescuer has got stuck, looks like your going to have to wait

Well this is going freaking great! Not only have I missed my flight, I may have lost my job too! Back in the Impact Zone Checkmate is backstage talking to the interviewer when Beer Money walks in.

Storm: So you think your mega stars now do ya boi’s?
Knight: Actually we’re doing pretty well thanks, boi!
Roode: Well everyone knows that it was just a fluke last week
Storm: Yeah a fluke!
Shawn: Everyone saw we pinned you fairly, 1..2..3
Storm: Well how bout a rematch then huh?
Lionel: How about Bound For Glory?
Roode: Deal done, we’ll see you at Bound for Glory

Checkmate go to leave when James Storm turns round to smash Lionel Knight over the head with a beer bottle and Robert Roode attacks Shawn Bishop.

Storm: Oh yeah boi, we’ll see ya’ll at Bound For Glory
Roode: That’s if you make it ha ha

Beer Money walk off laughing but I certainly an’t! I know that if Sabin tells anyone about me being in WWE headquarters my TNA Career could be over, maybe I should go beg WWE for my job back? Back in the Impact Zone The Beautiful People (Love, Sky, Mr. Kip) are out with Roxxi making her way down to the ring.

Match 2: Angelina Love def. Roxxi Laveaux
A very even match between these two and a pretty good women’s I mean Knockouts match. Roxxi looked like she was going to beat Love until Velvet Sky got the referee’s attention and Mr. Kip entered to hit a Fame Asser on Roxxi before leaving the Love went to the top with a Moonsault for the win.

As Kip went to get the mic to tell his girls to ‘bag her’ Cheerleader Melissa stood at the entrance and ran down and attack the Beautiful people after being ‘bagged’ over the last 2 weeks and the attack on ODB last week. Soon Mr. Kip entered and went to pumphandle slam Melissa but then ODB ran down and took out Sky while Love was already walking up the ramp and then picked up Mr. Kip and bodyslammed him down as The Beautiful People made their escape.

ODB: As Angelina is going for the women’s Title at Bound for Glory us Knockouts need a match and I say we challenge you two. So it will be ODB and Cheerleader Melissa against Velvet Sky and Mr. Kip!

BANG, BANG! Ugh what the BANG, BANG! Oh right I’m still in the lift must have fallen asleep.

Voice: Are you in there
London: Yeah, thank god. I though I was going to be here all night
Voice: Well…
London: Well what?
Voice: Well I’m not here to help you, I’m stuck here too. I came to help you though.

As this frankly weird situation went on LAX had made their way to the Impact Zone via their own entrance with Salinas. Homicide was wearing a hoodie while Hermandez entered the ring. Then out came my now former friends MCMG. They ran out and Shelley entered the ring.

Match 3: Alex Shelley def. Hermandez
Another good match on Impact, Shelley proved once more that he is more than just a tag team wrestler as he linked up his moves and gave Hermandez a headache from all his techniqual moves. Hermandez also had a good showing and with this heel turn he seems to have retuned to his old ways in the ring as he seems like a monster who can use the top rope well. Hermandez went for a Border Toss when Shelley slipped out and hit Shellshock for the win.

Back in the lift the other guy is being hoisted out (well I guess, I can’t actually see. As I climb though the flap the guy hooks me up and we start ascending (slowly) up the elevator via this harness, which seems to be cutting into my crotch. Back in Olando the Bound for Gold Tournament continues.

Match 4: Christian Cage & Kurt Angle def. Booker T & AJ Styles
A long match which had the crowd split for each team as each team had a face teaming with a heel. All men put on their best show, which showed as this match had lots of time. Whenever Cage or Styles were in the ring the crowd were on their feet shouting for their favourite. Angle hit an amazing Moonsault onto Booker for a 2 count, Cage hit a frog splash on Styles for another 2 count and Styles nearly picked up the win with a Spinal Tap on Angle for a 2 count as this proved to be a great match. Angle picked up the win with a Ankle Lock on Booker for the victory.

Bound for Gold Standings:
AJ Styles- 3
Kurt Angle- 3
Christian Cage- 2
Booker T- 0
Next Match- Booker vs. Cage vs. AJ vs. Angle

As the Standing’s state Booker cannot win but anyone else can. If Cage wins however there will be three-way tie. All opponents’ eyes focused on Samoa Joe who made his way down to the ring with the title on his shoulder. As the adverts came back X Division Champion Christopher Daniels made his way down to battle his old rival.

Main Event: Samoa Joe def. Christopher Daniels
Many would think TNA could not do better than their last match but this topped it. Joe and Daniels also had a lot of time to wrestle. Joe and Daniels have so much chemistry that any match between them is simply awesome. It all looked to be over when Daniels hit a Angel Wings off the top and both men laided out for a 7 count before Daniels got his hand over Joe for a 2 count. Joe was busted open on the outside when Daniels sent Joe into the turnbuckle. Joe pulled out the Rear Naked Choke for the win as Daniels passed out in this MOTC.

Joe stumbled to his head and celebrated with the title. While back in WWE headquarters I was being lifted to the top and finally out. I looked up Vince was personally apologising (hasn’t he got better things to do?)

Vince: You!
London: Huh?
Vince: You broke my freaking lift!
London: Vince its me, Paul London
Vince: I met with you hours ago what the hell are you still doing here?
London: Stuck in your freaking lift!
Vince: You’re the one who broke the damn thing!
London: Why would I break your freaking lift?

As this shouting fit continued in Olando TNA Impact ended.