Razzerian
Mid-Carder
Joined on: Feb 16, 2012 13:58:37 GMT -5
Posts: 126
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Post by Razzerian on Dec 20, 2012 9:56:16 GMT -5
Well, I can't propperly asses the situation since I haven't walked in your shoes. But based uppon what you've posted I'll give you my opinion. Marriage or any form of a relationship is always going to be giving and taking to a certain degree. But let me start off by saying: it's not because you're a "stay at home dad" that you owe your wife anything, from what you're writing I strongly have the feeling that you kind of feel as if you should do whatever she wants because she works hard all day? So... taking care of toddlers/children isn't hard work? It doesn't require energy? Anyway, compromises are important but it sounds to me that you've given up a lot already and I do sense a form of resentment towards your wife already in what you've written. So I strongly advise you to not give up your collecting, because you'll only end up resenting her for it and that'll cause just as much friction in your relationship (if not more) than the collecting itself already is. Just have a talk with your wife, tell her that you understand her frustration but that she also needs to understand that you need something "of your own" in your life. I mean how much can you possibly spend on this? Collecting wrestling figures isn't that expensive... atleast not if you live in the US as you do (it's a bit more annoying living in a country where they don't sell them). Every man has a hobby... some fix up cars, some go to stripclubs, others play video games.. collect action figures, baseball jersey's, football jersey's... whatever.. It's important to have hobbies in your life, happiness is the main goal of our life, no? We're not in the state that some people are in other parts of the world where the main goal in life is: get water from the well and make sure there's food on the table. So our priorities are a bit different, happiness should be one of them, no? If action figures make you happy... then keep collecting, just don't overdo it either. Too much of anything is never good, even if that thing is a good thing. Meet your wife halfway (which you apparantly have already done) and make it clear to her that this is and always will be an important part of your life and honestly if she married you she should accept that otherwise she shouldn't have in the first place. Damn women always trying to change us!
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Rob7274
Main Eventer
Joined on: Sept 3, 2010 5:46:16 GMT -5
Posts: 3,821
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Post by Rob7274 on Dec 20, 2012 10:09:12 GMT -5
Next time a box arrives just tell her it was a back order item from a long time ago and you forgot it was coming or you would have told her.. Worked for me.. Until she left me in April.. Haha, now I just lie to myself about my obsession! Sad sorry....I don't think it would be wise to take your advice though. I'm also not sure if a lol at the end of this post is needed or not...
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Post by brocklesnar4life on Dec 20, 2012 10:14:00 GMT -5
It's simple really. If she don't want you to collect more figures...BREAK HER ARM!!!
The Brock has spoken.
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Blackbird 13
Main Eventer
Joined on: Sept 6, 2005 3:32:41 GMT -5
Posts: 3,242
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Post by Blackbird 13 on Dec 20, 2012 10:51:43 GMT -5
There's a larger issue at work here. Think about it. If you guys ended up winning the lottery or something.. had millions of dollars, and everything you'd ever want, would she still be upset if that included every wrestling figure you wanted?
If so.. than you guys have a bigger problem. My girl and I.. we want for each other. I want her to be successful, at everything from her smallest hobbies to her career.. and she wants the same for me. She'll bring home a figure I'm missing now and then... and I'll call her to ask if she has a particular vintage camera if I'm out at a thrift store.
But it's not just about wrestling figures and collecting... that's a minor issue to the major thing. The major thing is that we want for each other... we want each other to be happy, to get the things they desire (from world peace to that new Alicia Fox figure)... and that makes the relationship way healthier for it.
My question to you is whether or not your wife generally WANTS you to be happy (and whether you want the same for her).. because if the answer to that question is no... wrestling figures are the least of your problems as a couple.
Best of luck.
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TheRockers
Superstar
Joined on: Mar 21, 2006 11:20:31 GMT -5
Posts: 710
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Post by TheRockers on Dec 20, 2012 11:07:27 GMT -5
I think you have to get another job. Bring in more money and do whatever you want with it.
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Post by deskjet on Dec 20, 2012 11:19:24 GMT -5
Sounds liKe some counseling may be in order. Seems your hobby is something that is causing a rift but you can't release. There is a way to fix it so all parties can agree but it may be a deeper issue then just you collecting the figures. hope ucan get things worked out
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savagepoffo
Main Eventer
Old School 4 Life!
Joined on: Jul 20, 2012 0:30:40 GMT -5
Posts: 1,559
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Post by savagepoffo on Dec 20, 2012 13:15:56 GMT -5
My girlfriend hates its.......but I could give a F! In fact most people think my collection is silly & ridiculous & again I could give a F! It brings me happiness & inner peace collecting figures & hunting them....... Perhaps if you were spending the last 20 dollar bill to your families name on a Cena figure rather than milk & eggs for the family I could see that being a problem......mostly cause Cena sucks But on the real never change who you are......perhaps compromise some of your actions but never EVER give up on your passions!
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Post by onleeone643 on Dec 20, 2012 13:33:27 GMT -5
Like Kobe says ''put on your big boy pants''
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Post by JC Motors on Dec 20, 2012 13:57:13 GMT -5
I'd go see a marriage counselor
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Post by LeighD on Dec 20, 2012 15:38:15 GMT -5
To keep my story short:
During the heydays of the CS line (2006 - 2008) I was as hardcore as a collector could be. If I saw them in stores I had to buy the ones I didn't have, if a new internet exclusive came out, I had to buy, etc. Not I wasn't paying overretail for these (if on eBay or another website), but I was still paying a lot over all. My wife and I got into many arguments about my collecting which was becoming an obssession. Looking back I wish I had slowed down because well its 2012 and I've got just about every CS figure possible!
But one thing we did do was find middle-ground. I eventually cut back and I usually asked/told her I was going to buy some. In fariness she was the one running the budget as well as buying birthday/christmas/etc gifts so "just buying" wasn't really an option as I could've done some serious damage to our finances had I done so. But we found middle ground and usually I got a small amount each week to put towards figures, or if I sold stuff, that was figure money, etc.
Looking back I realy wish I had cooled off a bit as it would have extended my collecting to this day. Plus arguing is never fun and even if you win, collecting isn't as fun if someone is made at you about it.
From my experience, both of you be honest and find a budget or middle-ground so everyone is happy and stick to it.
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Post by MachoManiac on Dec 20, 2012 19:19:48 GMT -5
WOWZERS! i give a fellow brother my opinion and some kid wit a silly name claims i deserve to be banned..
mr triple s you should go back and read my post again, one day you will thank me..
or part B : our fellow brother can just start looking for a better MORE PAYING job...
but 4 now..
just eat the pie..
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mrdoombringer
Superstar
Joined on: Jun 11, 2011 12:45:51 GMT -5
Posts: 668
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Post by mrdoombringer on Dec 20, 2012 19:41:12 GMT -5
Give up the toys, if she was your gf you should keep them but she is your wife and you have kids. And you are a stay home person and you aren't the one bringing in the majority of the money.
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Deleted
Joined on: May 15, 2024 16:40:43 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2012 19:52:05 GMT -5
BROTHER i feel ya, but you gotta feel for her.. YOU ARE LUCKY.. i know i know full time parenting is THE HARDEST JOB IN THE WORLD... but she still brings home the $$$ that makes YOUR WHOLE LiFE Possible.. right? for example if her checks went from "$ whatever" every 2 weeks TO " $ zero " you guys would be F'd UP brother, use your last bucks and buy a rose from the gas station, make a healthy dinner, put the kids to bed, pop a bottle of wine. thank her for how hard she works ... ( even tho we all know u work harder ) then eat the pie...eat the pie brother you do that for the next two months, she'll be buying MOC sets from RSC.. Eat the Pie Brother How you haven't been banned yet, is beyond me. Clearly added nothing to the discussion at all. Jr, sounds like she has a bit of a gripe. You're working those 15 hours a week, while she's doing full time hours... and with that money, you're buying wrestling figures. As many have stated, though... this is a tough one. Someone takes the internet a little too serious. Anyways, don't let these little plastic men ruin your marriage.
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Post by BCizzle on Dec 20, 2012 21:51:49 GMT -5
Maybe you arent ready to commit to being a man for your woman? Like this?
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savagepoffo
Main Eventer
Old School 4 Life!
Joined on: Jul 20, 2012 0:30:40 GMT -5
Posts: 1,559
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Post by savagepoffo on Dec 21, 2012 1:37:04 GMT -5
Maybe you arent ready to commit to being a man for your woman? Like this? Lol Classic!
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Deleted
Joined on: May 15, 2024 16:40:43 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2012 5:50:44 GMT -5
How are things after you sat down and spoke to her? The fact things were said that weren't meant is a bit ominous but hopefully things have settled down.
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Rob7274
Main Eventer
Joined on: Sept 3, 2010 5:46:16 GMT -5
Posts: 3,821
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Post by Rob7274 on Dec 21, 2012 6:08:11 GMT -5
How are things after you sat down and spoke to her? The fact things were said that weren't meant is a bit ominous but hopefully things have settled down. Yeah I'd also like a update.
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Post by laythvandam on Dec 21, 2012 6:24:35 GMT -5
I'd not allow that, you're not hurting anybody and you are keeping yourself happy, so carry on collecting I say.
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Post by Wrestlaholic on Dec 21, 2012 11:38:17 GMT -5
I think there has to be a bit of give and take here; what I get from your original post is that she goes out and works and you do your part being a full time at home dad and even go out and work for 15 hours a week, full credit to you. I understand you want to avoid arguments and problems with your wife, we all like to avoid confrontation, but I think it would probably take an argument to resolve this and make her see sense. I'm sure she has hobbies too which you full well accept and wouldn't stop her doing because she enjoys it and keeps her happy. I do not think under any circumstances you should stop collecting, it sounds like you've give up enough already to keep her happy, the fact you work your part in the relationship says to me you should do as you please within reason. My partner is extremely accepting of my collecting, we don't live together, but whenever she stays at my parents house with me, my bedroom has a lot of figures on display and on show and has never since we got together 19 months ago ever said a bad comment or question what I buy. To be honest mate, she has to start accepting that you have a hobby and it's something that makes you happy and you need to stand up to her and tell her no and she hasn't a choice because there's two people in a relationship so there has to be a fair compromise to make it work for the two of you, never should have to give up something that doesn't affect anyone, the fact that its something you like is the most important thing and she should respect that, not tell you what should and shouldn't happen.
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The Dave
Main Eventer
Con-Chair-Tos all around!
Joined on: Feb 2, 2008 15:29:11 GMT -5
Posts: 3,480
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Post by The Dave on Dec 21, 2012 13:19:55 GMT -5
Just keep scamming people on the Classifieds. You'll get the extra money you need that way.
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