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Post by Drakz on May 14, 2021 18:20:25 GMT -5
Yeah I dug it.
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Post by Drakz on May 8, 2021 13:40:14 GMT -5
#lostonpurpose
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Post by Drakz on Apr 28, 2021 1:36:48 GMT -5
So... um... Drakz is still the International Champion, right? Is he not as retired as some would like to think? Just gonna gift it back to Frank
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Post by Drakz on Apr 27, 2021 11:38:43 GMT -5
If only because we never got to see them ruined by one of the participants inevitably no showing the blowoff match. I've finally been gone so long that I do not understand this reference. My separation from the WFWF is finally complete. It wasn't a reference to a specific happening, more of a general comment on people being fully on board one minute, then completely AWOL the next.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 27, 2021 8:20:35 GMT -5
Shame all The New Epoch are retired lulz Also, how annoying is it that that feud never materialised? All the best feuds are the ones that should have happened but didn't. If only because we never got to see them ruined by one of the participants inevitably no showing the blowoff match.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 26, 2021 14:49:54 GMT -5
Shame all The New Epoch are retired lulz
Also, how annoying is it that that feud never materialised?
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Post by Drakz on Apr 26, 2021 12:05:19 GMT -5
Also very hyped to see Trace back in the fold! Just in time to watch Drakz retire.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 26, 2021 12:04:38 GMT -5
Well done to the victors, but tbh well done to everyone who contributed to the show in any way, wether it was writing a match/seg or RPing. Amazing stuff.
The biggest of well dones though to 'shua, Dean Deany, J.D., and......NEEEEEEEW. You finally climbed the mountain and in the process put this old stallion out to pasture. The King is dead, long live the King.
Now don't let this be a one and done or I'll be mighty p*ssed off.
Drop me a PM once you've read the main event, as I don't want to ruin the result by talking about it before you've had chance to read it for yourself.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 20, 2021 2:25:27 GMT -5
Jeez. I barely have the time/energy to read them once, let alone twice.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 18, 2021 14:54:02 GMT -5
Well I've only got 3 more RPs to read and reply to, something I never do these days. Of those 3, 2 are secondary characters from writers who have other matches on the card, and one is more of a participation piece ahead of the match/story.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 18, 2021 14:49:37 GMT -5
Some good critiques from other folks here.
I for one have no issue with breaking the fourth wall, but I'd kind of like it to be done in a way that's still in keeping with the logic of the WFWF. I don't know that you can really achieve that when you start talking about "writers" etc though. I think it makes more sense to make it seem as though it fits within our kayfabe world, but we, as the readers well versed in what goes on here, are able to pick up on what you're referencing. It would be much harder to pull off, but I think it would work better than just going totally out of character. Also like EBR said, the mix of talking about me the writer, but referencing a win over Shannon via no show as a legit win does muddy the waters.
Anyway I don't want to get too hung up on that bit as it's a small part of your overall RP.
One section I really dug was when DK was looking at all of the wrestlers from his heyday who are no longer around. Wondering what became of them, and what it means for him. That felt real, and was something I could really relate to. I feel that was the strongest part of the RP.
Also f*ck Kaitlyn dangerously interrupting his lift! She could easily have caused DK a serious injury there. Not cool.
My favourite line:
Nice bit of word play. Love it.
BTW - Thanks for messaging me about this RP, and the "shoot" side of it. I don't think you needed to apologise or anything. I've got no problem with anyone talking sh*t about me, I just wish it was perhaps executed better.
Kudos for thinking outside the box though! Most people are happy to just do what's proven to work. Both you and Mesh tried something different this show, and I like to see it, regardless of how well it holds up in the end.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 18, 2021 13:39:31 GMT -5
Well I for one didn't think you repeated yourself too much. Having seen that coming up in people's comments I thought maybe you were going to beat me over the head with the same one liner throughout, but I thought you did just fine in that respect.
I love the TV Show setting and think you could do something really fun with it. I did a similar thing with Drakz waaaaaay back, but there's so much room to do all kinds of dumb sh*t with it, and I think that really lends itself to your character, as he's dumb as hell.
Not a lot more to say here as this was a pretty short piece, but a decent enough introduction none the less.
My favourite line, as it cracked me up:
Also did you actually compete in another fed with a character called:
"Just That Motherf*cker"
Because THAT is absolutely hilarious.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 18, 2021 13:27:14 GMT -5
I agree with veronicaaaahhhh that there's an almost poetic nature to the way you present your work. Breaking it into those smaller chunks only served to highlight that further. One thing I want to pick up on as I don't think anyone else has mentioned it, is this piece was littered with missing words/typos that kept bringing me out of the flow of the piece as I was reading it. Proof reading your work before posting it is a great way to ensure you catch these, as it can have a real detrimental effect on your overall piece. "But I laid in coma" "I take seat" "next you thing this student walks in. Some students would work for the school a hour passing paperwork. It was note asking me to the front office;" "I started new Adventure" That's just a few of them but there were a lot more, that ended up making Priceless sound like Tarzan or a caveman in my head, which is a shame because it made it harder for me to really get my teeth into the RP in its entirety.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 18, 2021 12:40:09 GMT -5
Agreed with Mesh and Thunder here. Your actual writing is really decent, but the pacing of the piece itself was a bit jilted. We chopped and changed a bit too much/too quickly for me to ever really get into the rhythm of what I was reading.
My favourite parts were those involving Watts. I actually think you've mastered Watt's voice perhaps better than Mason's. Watts is a really solid supporting character and everything he was saying made sense, but Mason didn't want to hear it. I like that. People have this idea of Watts as this sleazy hanger on, but from the statements he made in this RP I see him as a necessary grounding and guiding hand to the more volatile, younger Mason. It's a good dynamic and you write it well.
Don't beat yourself up too much about stuff mate, you're constantly improving, and with time and taking on board any critiques from your peers you'll continue to grow. I thought this was a really solid RP.
My favourite line:
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Post by Drakz on Apr 18, 2021 12:15:17 GMT -5
I can only really echo what everyone else has already said.
You took a chance on writing something very different, and it paid off. The voice you've quickly generated for Macy was consistent throughout, and I never found myself questioning anything that was said. It all fit the character really well.
I liked the scribbled text stuff, with the hidden, darker thoughts. In my head the voice changed from a squeaky, jolly rabbit to a distorted demonic thing when those happened. I'm guessing that's what you were going for?
There were bits in here that made me laugh, like the "Oh no!" and the "why is my tail wagging?".
All in all this was a great little piece, and something very different to anything else in the fed at the moment. I would however also have liked to see more focus on Mason, even if it just meant the final section being longer.
Good stuff.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 15, 2021 13:59:43 GMT -5
Just noticed that Rev Shadow no showed, which is sh*t. Great to read this as a return piece though.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 15, 2021 13:57:42 GMT -5
If you and Rev were like ships passing in the night, then you and me have been more like ships in different oceans. If we were ever active here at the same time it was briefly, and yet I knew via association with E and Alex that having you back in the fold was an exciting prospect for the fed.
Really enjoyed reading this, as it was for the most part a proper introduction to DGX for me. I knew about the betting/headhunter side of things, and it's nice to see that getting fleshed out and seeing where both DGX and EBR are at now with regards to it. E seems to have changed his ways and tried to distance himself from that stigma, where as DGX doesn't seem to think he ever did anything wrong. I'm interested to see where that takes them both.
You portrayed your character really well and even one piece in I feel like I know the kind of guy I'm reading about here, and that's testament to having written said character for so long.
Great stuff and I'm hoping we get a chance to work together in some capacity while we're both around.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 11, 2021 8:11:32 GMT -5
Welcome back mate.
This RP felt like you getting the motor up to speed, rather than running at full throttle. I always enjoy hearing from the void of excitement Joe Bishop. He's so passionate about the purity of wrestling that even though his ideals are noble, he's as easy to boo as he is to cheer. Gives you a lot of freedom with direction.
Interested to see where you go with Rosa as well.
I remember you used to hate writing scenes, and I felt (like the others' said) they were the weaker parts of the piece, as they were all cut off at the knees before they had a chance.
Really pleased to see you back though, and to see what angle you're going to work post SB.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 11, 2021 5:50:01 GMT -5
Blimey, that was long. Though I will say, contrary to the length of Josh's RP, it felt more justified here as every scene was part of a greater story, all serving to move that story forward. Perhaps more so than any other writer in the history of the WFWF you have such a stacked roster of supporting characters to draw from. They all feel important, probably because they've nearly all been active wrestlers in the fed at one time or another due to your inability to commit That said though, it's become an absolute blessing, because every character Penny interacts with generally feels like something I care about, instead of just being fairly faceless "family member #2". I'll echo Rich's thoughts in that this felt very personal, and that usually helps with making things feel real. Josh did it with the scenes pertaining to fatherhood in his own RP, and you've done it here with basically the whole RP. It's an RP that's so 2021 that I almost found myself resenting it a bit, strictly because one of the main reasons I've abandoned my facebook account was because I was so sick of reading the vitriol in the comment sections on shared articles etc, wether they were in relation to racial, trans, political issues etc. I'm just so done with c*nts, and then here we are with a bunch of them in the same interview space as Penny. I got the same knot in my stomach as I would when reading those aforementioned real life comments. I guess that's a round about way of saying that side of things felt very real, and I can only assume that's anchored in your own experiences? One thing I will say is I didn't get too much personal enjoyment from how serious and wholesome the whole piece was, but that's literally just down to me not having a heart. There was nothing wrong with the execution or anything, it's just not the kind of story I'm likely to enjoy reading really. That aside though I thought you did a great job of pacing the story you were telling, as everything fed back into this singular narrative without ever feeling forced or hokey. I especially liked seeing Mary jumping right into her role as project manager. It made so much sense given her role at Championship Connections, her relationship with Penny and just her personality. It was nice seeing her take the lead there, in a room full of so many large characters. A few of my favourite lines: A lovely call back to her own Mother's use of the phrase. Simple but effective. I laughed and in equal measure wanted to smash her face in. Scarlett is probably my favourite character of yours, just because she's so purile. I could honestly see her and Drakz being friends in an alternate timeline. I will say I would have liked a greater focus on EBR, as this story was far more about Penny, and realistically could have been used as an RP against any opponent with a few minor tweaks. Maybe that's a personal preference again, but I like an RP that cuts down an opponent, or at least feels like it's a part of a fight itself. It's hard for me to word what I mean, but this felt a bit passive in that respect. Overall this was a beautifully told story, but jesus I hope the other RPs on this show aren't as long. I don't have the gumption for it.
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Post by Drakz on Apr 10, 2021 14:49:07 GMT -5
Also what gives with all these initial based names? I can only assume EBR, DGX and KC are acronyms I don't know the root of? Honestly Drakz, I can only assume it's because we were teenagers when we started doing this. I think E's initials are just his actual initials (could be wrong but that sounds right) and he also came up with KC Krystal in XWA as a secondary character (I've always thought we don't give him the full initial treatment for obvious reasons) and as for me? My story is sadly uncomplicated. When I made my very first e-wrestler I named his Degenerate X because D-Generation-X was my favorite wrestling stable. It was basically a walking caricature of the stable. I was fifteen, gimme a break! Eventually I just shortened it down to DGX and ran with it from there. I love everything about this explanation.
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